Its a long story but I will be as brief as possible

2016/17 I had a particular course that almost got me into an extension in school because one money-loving lecturer (lecturer A) was bent of frustrating his generation (Not me). So I took d matter to one of my uncle who happens to be a lecturer (Lecturer B) in d same institution, after playing d recorded call of my convo with Lecturer A to him, my uncle promised to help talk to him but he never did, instead he came back to me to tell me the man (Lecturer A) had refused to pick his calls. Miraculously, the result was pasted and I had 68/100. That, I ignored.

2017/2018 when I was posted to Lagos for my youth service, I rented my caravan (situated at my uncle's uncompleted building along d road)out to a woman who paid a token for it, It was temporary cos I was going to return to my business after youth service, my uncle called suddenly one evening with such an angry tone asking why I rented out the caravan, and if I was d owner of the land that I would rent d place out and collect money from it, I asked within me if it would have been better d caravan rot away in idleness? He never bordered to congratulate me on my clarion call, which was really strange. That, I ignored.

2019, my dad contacted him that my fiance was pregnant and communicated my intension to marry her to him, he suggested to my dad that d baby be aborted, that am not financially ready to marry yet...Lol. I told my dad to go and tell him that if I had wanted to abort that child, he wouldn't have heard about d pregnancy in the first place. The wedding was a success after much battle from him and the rest of my family members that wanted to stop me. My daughter was born same year, he reluctantly called to congratulate me. That, I ignored.

2021 some years after NYSC, I decided to go and investment in real estate in a student environment, bought some plots of land with hope to resell some when it appreciates, told my uncle (Lecturer B) about it, partly because the man I bought the land from said so many bad things about him, belittled my uncle right before me, so out of curiosity I decided to I inform my uncle about my land vendor's remarks about him, after everything I noticed the man somehow started acting up towards me. First he lied to me that he has sold his building that's along major road where I had earlier mounted a caravan, forcing me to remove d caravan last month. I later discovered he lied about the sales of the building. Secondly he lied that d vendor man who had earlier criticized and badmouthed about him was among the people that came to his office earlier that week to negotiate for the price of the building (he told this lie probably with calculations, he wants me to go and verify from my land vendor, thereby subconsciously letting that one know that I have told him about how I purchase a land from him and also give him an impression that I must have told him all that he said about him(Lecturer B). I didn't care, I just went back, asked my vendor if he had any encounter with my uncle which he denied and further boasted that if he knew such building was for sale, he would buy it. He said my uncle is a Wicked man, that he probably isn't happy with the news of me acquiring a landed property which is true. I have made up my mind to ghost him and whoever have an affiliation with him, including his children forever. I have had enough.
My question now is, why are some so called family members (especially uncles and anties) unhappy when thier nephew/nieces are progressing?
If you have had any similar encounter in the past, how did you deal with it?

Na you get time sha ..
When I hear people talking about uncles I'm usually bewildered, I don't have time for those weird people and never will

Not all uncles or aunts are wicked and selfish. Some are very good and supportive especially the well traveled ones not just educated.

In your own case, your uncle is just naturally bitter. There's nothing that could ever change him. If Iwere you I would have avoided him after his first or second actions.

Avoid that man!

Here to read comments

Me, I dey my lane.

I beg to differ. My view may be different...please bear.

I really don't see that as deep wickedness tho...I think he was just strict and more ego-centric. Meanwhile, the land isn't yours bro! More so, I feel you sold it when you beseeched him to beg for “good grades”... some people will start seeing such a person as a neer-do-well. More of what you had in mind against him was what you heard from others, some things he did and other things you assumed he could do, emotion conceived, nurtured dislike, harbored resentments... than those things he really did in reality, or things he could do.

Tips: when people don't always do what we want or what we think, it doesn't make them bad.

I lived with an uncle who turned me to jaki, with severe mistreatment for three years because I was off the shores of Nigeria and nowhere to escape to (cos I so wanted to escape, lol).

The part you said he “reluctantly congratulated you” was biased tho. Since he did, there is really no reluctance (sorry, but this is how I'll see it if it were I). If he was the first person to congratulate you, maybe three minutes after delivery, you'd still throw shades at him that he was indirectly mocking you. Lol. You know, your mindset is seeing him as counterproductive already. On the other hand, he could be disappointed you had a child out of wedlock! Since you stayed with him, he should be concerned... whether or not it's positive. I also understand it's not his business what you do with your life.

During my stay with my uncles, I refused to see them as wicked souls. I preferred to understand that, for a truth, nobody cares. Nobody would really leave their immediate family insatiable issues to begin to pick areas to help out in any extended family


Problems no dey finish so far we remain humans. That alone made me persevere and revamped the way I reasoned things. I live a zero-expectation life. I don't expect sb to pop outta the blue and want to help you...and that is more reason I verily appreciate every effort anyone makes towards me...even an iota of it.

Yes, everyone has those uncles who we feel are very deep-pocketed but doesn't want to help! It's crazy but it's true! They are like every other human out there!

What do I do? I dey dey my dey. I dey respect myself. If I need to buy a handout, I start planning for it aforehand. I don't need to beg for grades, I strive to make grades. I wouldn't have sex if I aren't already calling her my wife. I wouldn't put a kiosk on a land that's not mine...even if it's a family land. I wouldn't esau my respect! If I don't have money, I hustle money or retire on my stone-filled garri. If my wife puts to bed impromptu, I prefer to meet sb else differently than sb who may not want to help. I also understand that people will always talk..so I don't give them what to talk about...and don't care since I am living my life without hurting anyone.

I don't want to cut my clothes according to my size anymore. I am now cutting those clothes to the cloth size.

Life don teach me a lot.

Conduct a life audit.

Action Plan:
Ask yours these questions...
1. Is this person wicked or am I feeling entitled?
2. When was the last time I did sth good in the same angle I am needing sth for this person for the first time?
3.What are the good sides about this person?
4. Am I proud? If I am, what can I do to submerge it?

What is more? You have to not think that sb should care about you. In the real sense, they owe you no obligation of care. Work for whatever you need. Las las, in the school of experience, there are no graduates.

Na normal thing for every family

You were wrong in renting out the Caravan on his land without informing him. That act alone reeks of entitlement.
It wasn't your father's land, and you had no right to rent his land out without his consent. I would be angry too because it shows you had no regard for him or you were planning to use tricks to inherit his land. He was generous enough to allow you put a caravan on his land and even do your own business there, not for you to start renting it out as though you owned it.

Asking him to speak with lecturer colleague so that he wouldn't fail you may be a 2 edged sword. What if they aren't friends and are even enemies? That is almost a fail for you if he should speak to him. Or he may just believe that if you did well, you will pass. I personally can't go and beg anyone to dash my relatives marks. And at the end of the day, you likely scored what you deserved and didn't fail.

It wasn't in his place to ask your dad to tell you to abort, so he should learn to mind the business that pays him. Especially on matters that involve not only his family but another family (I.e your girlfriend)

Congratulating you grudgingly may just be that he his hurt you haven't been carrying him along despite (I suspect) staying with him while you were in higher institution. He probably thinks you're full of yourself and think you know it all (which isn't a bad thing, but older people like to control your life, even though it's not in their place to do so.)

Anyway, in all this, Live your life to the fullest, because life is fickle

PhilipReigns:
Its a long story but I will be as brief as possible

2016/17 I had a particular course that almost got me into an extension in school because one money-loving lecturer (lecturer A) was bent of frustrating his generation (Not me). So I took d matter to one of my uncle who happens to be a lecturer (Lecturer B) in d same institution, after playing d recorded call of my convo with Lecturer A to him, my uncle promised to help talk to him but he never did, instead he came back to me to tell me the man (Lecturer A) had refused to pick his calls. Miraculously, the result was pasted and I had 68/100. That, I ignored.

2017/2018 when I was posted to Lagos for my youth service, I rented my caravan (situated at my uncle's uncompleted building along d road)out to a woman who paid a token for it, It was temporary cos I was going to return to my business after youth service, my uncle called suddenly one evening with such an angry tone asking why I rented out the caravan, and if I was d owner of the land that I would rent d place out and collect money from it, I asked within me if it would have been better d caravan rot away in idleness? He never bordered to congratulate me on my clarion call, which was really strange. That, I ignored.

2019, my dad contacted him that my fiance was pregnant and communicated my intension to marry her to him, he suggested to my dad that d baby be aborted, that am not financially ready to marry yet...Lol. I told my dad to go and tell him that if I had wanted to abort that child, he wouldn't have heard about d pregnancy in the first place. The wedding was a success after much battle from him and the rest of my family members that wanted to stop me. My daughter was born same year, he reluctantly called to congratulate me. That, I ignored.

2021 some years after NYSC, I decided to go and investment in real estate in a student environment, bought some plots of land with hope to resell some when it appreciates, told my uncle (Lecturer B) about it, partly because the man I bought the land from said so many bad things about him, belittled my uncle right before me, so out of curiosity I decided to I inform my uncle about my land vendor's remarks about him, after everything I noticed the man somehow started acting up towards me. First he lied to me that he has sold his building that's along major road where I had earlier mounted a caravan, forcing me to remove d caravan last month. I later discovered he lied about the sales of the building. Secondly he lied that d vendor man who had earlier criticized and badmouthed about him was among the people that came to his office earlier that week to negotiate for the price of the building (he told this lie probably with calculations, he wants me to go and verify from my land vendor, thereby subconsciously letting that one know that I have told him about how I purchase a land from him and also give him an impression that I must have told him all that he said about him(Lecturer B). I didn't care, I just went back, asked my vendor if he had any encounter with my uncle which he denied and further boasted that if he knew such building was for sale, he would buy it. He said my uncle is a Wicked man, that he probably isn't happy with the news of me acquiring a landed property which is true. I have made up my mind to ghost him and whoever have an affiliation with him, including his children forever. I have had enough.
My question now is, why are some so called family members (especially uncles and anties) unhappy when thier nephew/nieces are progressing?
If you have had any similar encounter in the past, how did you deal with it?

How is he wicked when you're the one who began renting his property that you didn't own?

You are the one who caused his reaction. Who knows how the land vendor wronged him and is now saying that he is wicked?

All your issues with him are entitlement ones.