mexxy1:


GUY A:
- Has dated her for three (3) years now and deflowered her.
- Is always away for months for work (according to him).
- She recently found out he has been chasing everything in skirt over the years and hasn't stopped and is highly promiscuous from his facebook messages and voice recordings she had to forward to herself of him telling other girls about marrying them and about their times spent together in hotels.
- Prone to violence.
- Engaged her early this year but, she wasn't sure though accepted due to compromise and she hasn't seen him in seven (7) months now though he calls often and says he's at work. She doesn't pay him unscheduled visits to confirm since he's not around according to him.

GUY B:
- Met her last year and has been dating her for close to a year.
- Was married for six (6) years but, separated and headed for divorce before she met him.
- Has a two (2) year old son from the previous marriage.
- Calm and very understanding (she wishes she met him earlier).
- She's had no problems with him and he's always been there for her.

Her problems?
1. She is in love with both men.
2. Both men want to marry her.
3. Both families (of the men) already know her and love her.
4. The major problem for her with Guy A is that he is never around and is always on one trip or another.
5. The major problem for her with Guy B is that he has a son (he told her from the onset before she agreed to date him and never hid his status from her).

Ladies and gentlemen, what will you advice and who would you suggest she stays with as both men want to marry her?

Thank you.

I posted this in the wrong section (Romance) earlier and just realized this should be the correct section. Mod's please delete the one posted in the Romance section.

NtiObaEneke:
You sure do write a lot of crap

Ishilove:

So she is still thinking of settling with a community preek who will eventually bring her a hamper of STDs? Odiegwu

Guy B- I don't see anything wrong with marrying a divorcee, but if she is not emotionally equipped to handle his baggage then she should go for Guy C, who will probably have his own baggage as well. Everybody has a flaw, so you just have to decide what your deal breaker is and work out your 'salvation' with wisdom.

Make Guy B go look bush abeg!

If to say na woman be the divorcé with pikin,
single guys go hardly reason am, but if na man be the divorcé with pikin, dem go begin look for never-been-married lady wey dem go drag inside their already complicated ex wife palaver life, instead of them to look for fellow divorcé like them wey go fit handle ex drama. After all, both of them get ex.
Na one of the reasons why e dey hard for divorced women to remarry for our society.

Mariangeles:


Make Guy B go look bush abeg!

If to say na woman be the divorcé with pikin,
single guys go hardly reason am, but if na man be the divorcé with pikin, dem go begin look for never-been-married lady wey dem go drag inside their already complicated ex wife palaver life, instead of them to look for fellow divorcé like them wey go fit handle ex drama. After all, both of them get ex.
Na one of the reasons why e dey hard for divorced women to remarry for our society.

Ishilove:

My sister, that is the kind of society we live in. Women are held to higher accountability than men.

Guy B seems to be a more reliable person than the absentee preek sharer, and at the end of the day what we need in our lives is stability and someone who will give us peace of mind. From what the OP said, the ex wife packed off when the guy had financial challenges and she has probably moved on with her life with some other unfortunate sod, so I don't know where the drama will come in.

Ishilove:

Seems so.

Richy4:
<<< How can she even be in love with Guy A? she's not even scared of diseases like HIV..
<<< Tell your friend to stay away from excess luggage... it's not a comfortable thing to carry if truly she wants to embark on a long journey...
<<< She should learn how to travel light....
<<<But if she must settle for the Guy B, she should find out first the reason why the first wife was leaving before she settle with him..so that what happened before will not repeat itself...
<<<A divorced gentleman with a son is not a leper.. If Queen Esther in the good book did no wrong by marring a divorcee, and was praised by all religious bodies...some used her as a reference point, why can't your friend do the same? ..

Ishilove:

So she is still thinking of settling with a community preek who will eventually bring her a hamper of STDs? Odiegwu

Guy B- I don't see anything wrong with marrying a divorcee, but if she is not emotionally equipped to handle his baggage then she should go for Guy C, who will probably have his own baggage as well. Everybody has a flaw, so you just have to decide what your deal breaker is and work out your 'salvation' with wisdom.

Mariangeles:


Make Guy B go look bush abeg!

If to say na woman be the divorcé with pikin,
single guys go hardly reason am, but if na man be the divorcé with pikin, dem go begin look for never-been-married lady wey dem go drag inside their already complicated ex wife palaver life, instead of them to look for fellow divorcé like them wey go fit handle ex drama. After all, both of them get ex.
Na one of the reasons why e dey hard for divorced women to remarry for our society.

Ishilove:

My sister, that is the kind of society we live in. Women are held to higher accountability than men.

Guy B seems to be a more reliable person than the absentee preek sharer, and at the end of the day what we need in our lives is stability and someone who will give us peace of mind. From what the OP said, the ex wife packed off when the guy had financial challenges and she has probably moved on with her life with some other unfortunate sod, so I don't know where the drama will come in.

Mariangeles:


Unless the ex wife of the divorcé has remarried, I would not advise her to marry him.
If she has drama power o, she can go ahead.

Yeah, they always seem reliable. And too eager to please too...but only god knows what they might be hiding.
Na dem dey sabi love pass.

Foodqueen:
You have your problems too.

How can u fall in love with guy b when u were still dating guy a.

Ishilove:

My sister, that is the kind of society we live in. Women are held to higher accountability than men.

Guy B seems to be a more reliable person than the absentee preek sharer, and at the end of the day what we need in our lives is stability and someone who will give us peace of mind. From what the OP said, the ex wife packed off when the guy had financial challenges and she has probably moved on with her life with some other unfortunate sod, so I don't know where the drama will come in.

bukatyne:
@mexxy1:

You did not diagnose the girl's problem properly:

She has low self esteem and no ambition/dream for an ideal marriage.If she did, she won't:
1. Continue a relationship with a cheat;
2. Double Date & think she has a moral stance to judge Guy A
3. Be 'in love' with two men. The fact she uses love & Guy A in same sentence tells you the value she placed on herself: zero
4. Think of marriage to a divorcee at her age when single men abound. Why did the guy divorce in the first place?

bukatyne:


@OP:

Nope; women chose less for themselves.

Nobody forced the lady to consider a divorcee as young and fresh as she is.

shaybebaby:
Guy B but if and only if
1)She is sure his financial distress is not a result of bad decisions, mismanagement of funds or worse still crime.

2) She plans on not having kids till their finances improve.

eazzzy1:
What’s her own baggage asides cheating? I hope one of the guys finds out so her options can be reduced by one. If she marries one of them she will most likely continue sleeping with the other.

Guy A loves more than one woman he is a philanderer, girl loves one more than one man she’s exploring her options. Define double standard again.

LilMissFavvy:
Why do people date whom they feel they may not marry? She knew he was a divorcee early enough. Let her be wise in future relationships.

LilMissFavvy:
Why do people date whom they feel they may not marry? She knew he was a divorcee early enough. Let her be wise in future relationships.

bukatyne:


It is called being woke and sexually free

dacblogger:
Let her wait till she is 25 or 26...
She shouldn't be in a hurry to marry.
My advice is for her to discard the 2guys and enjoy her life before tieing herself down with marriage.

mexxy1:
Hello everyone, I have someone in a dilemma and needs advice on the next course of action. She needs advice on which man to be with between two men she loves.

Please advice her and not abuse her as I'll show her the comments here. I have this young lady in her early twenties who is in love with two guys. I'll refer to them as Guy A and Guy B.

Both have their baggages which has left her confused hence, her request for advice which I had to bring here. I'll keep my opinion to myself though, I already told her my thoughts.

Now, to their baggages.

GUY A:
- Has dated her for three (3) years now and deflowered her.
- Is always away for months for work (according to him).
- She recently found out he has been chasing everything in skirt over the years and hasn't stopped and is highly promiscuous from his facebook messages and voice recordings she had to forward to herself of him telling other girls about marrying them and about their times spent together in hotels.
- Prone to violence.
- Engaged her early this year but, she wasn't sure though accepted due to compromise and she hasn't seen him in seven (7) months now though he calls often and says he's at work. She doesn't pay him unscheduled visits to confirm since he's not around according to him.

GUY B:
- Met her last year and has been dating her for close to a year.
- Was married for six (6) years but, separated and headed for divorce before she met him.
- Has a two (2) year old son from the previous marriage.
- Calm and very understanding (she wishes she met him earlier).
- She's had no problems with him and he's always been there for her.

Her problems?
1. She is in love with both men.
2. Both men want to marry her.
3. Both families (of the men) already know her and love her.
4. The major problem for her with Guy A is that he is never around and is always on one trip or another.
5. The major problem for her with Guy B is that he has a son (he told her from the onset before she agreed to date him and never hid his status from her).

Ladies and gentlemen, what will you advice and who would you suggest she stays with as both men want to marry her?

Thank you.

I posted this in the wrong section (Romance) earlier and just realized this should be the correct section. Mod's please delete the one posted in the Romance section.

Ebonygeek:

If I were her, I'd go for Guy B. Guy A is a ticking time bomb.

NoToPile:
None of the above.

Foodqueen:
You have your problems too.

How can u fall in love with guy b when u were still dating guy a.