Everybody is hung up on domestic abuse by men against women. Nobody spares a moment to find solutions to the equally devastating verbal abuse men suffer in the hands of their wives. It is worse because men can't discuss what their wives do to them for fear of scorn and derision. They suffer in silence. Timebomb.

Unfortunately, the Nigerian society has little or no support systems for this kind of situation. Little or no counselling services. It's been mostly left to the church to deal with. What happens when the man doesn't go to church? What happens when the woman doesn't believe in spiritual intervention? These women are raising daughters. Their daughters are hearing and seeing how they speak to and treat their husband. What kind of wives will they grow up to become? Those that treat their husbands as kings or those that believe husbands are nothing but verbal punching bags?

We've all agreed and rightfully so that a man has no business hitting his wife. So how then do you stop a wife raining verbal missiles at you? Leave the house? Okay. But you'll return and it will continue. What next? Leave again? For how long?

Recently, I visited a senior friend, an important man in the society and while we were downstairs gisting, the voice of his wife could be heard upstairs. She was spewing unimaginable bile against the man. She called him all sorts of unprintable names. Impotent, wretched fool, miserable man that was nothing when she married him, etc. This is a well respected man. A father of 4 children. She tore at his very core and mocked everything society respected him for. She said he'd soon crash and she'll be there to laugh at him.

I was so uncomfortable as I beheld the man. He was shrunken before me. He was deflated. He tried to gamefully continue the gist to distract me but it was not working. The woman's vitriol was a ceaseless torrent. Uncomfortable silence ensued. I excused myself and left his house.

I was really sad.

You want to know the truth? This is what most men go through in their houses. They labour and toil and build respect but when they return home, the one who ought to speak to the king in them tears them to shreds and tries to deflate their self-esteem. When they are outside, they try to act cheerful and happy but back home, they are shrivelled because the person they live with makes it a point of duty to verbally assault them.

A sad story comes to mind. There was recently a Nigerian Ambassador who was recalled because his wife released a story to the press that he beat her. She also released pictures showing fresh injuries on her body ostensibly inflicted by the man.

In a dramatic twist, their children came out to debunk the stories and said their mother faked the injuries to embarrass their dad. Grown up children.

A particular sentence by the 1st son saddened me. He said it was as if their mum woke up every morning with one mission in life: how to make their dad miserable. They said they were witnesses to how their mum constantly harassed and abused their dad and wanted the whole world to know that their dad was not who their mum was painting him to be.

Yes, opinion shifted on the scandal but the damage had been done. The Ambassador was recalled and nobody heard from him again.

A family is currently at odds with the widow of their son and brother. The wife was constantly verbally assaulting him. Nobody wanted to visit them because each time they were around, it was always quarrel and the wife would call him unprintable names. Even in their presence. When they try to interfere, she will give them their own. The man died recently of heart-attack caused by high blood pressure. He was in his late 40s. The family insists his wife sent him to his early grave with her verbal torments.

Our bars are filled with men who are afraid to go home to their wives for fear of what verbal torment they will go through. Men are finding every excuse to travel because they'll rather be anywhere than in their own homes.

Everybody is focusing on men as culprits in domestic abuse. Who is talking to the

Copied from Sam Hart.

OP this your post deserves an award.

Some People will say the men should know the kind of women they marry, but the truth is some women change after marriage.

Some after 3yrs, some after 10yrs, and the man laments that this is not the woman he married.

No matter how careful anyone tries to be while marrying, you just cannot get it 100% right.

You want a woman that can cook, what if she has bad attitude.
You want a coke body woman, what if she is lazy in cleaning.
You want this, you want that, yes you will get it, but something must be negative in her, after all she's still a human being.

My best advice is as a man, don't let ur wife be over involved in your business, be very unpredictable and let her know this about you. That way it will be hard for her to see you finish

Hmmmmm

You are only describing neighbor to neighbor relationship because how can a wife or husband not see the partner finish when it's not boyfriend and girlfriend stuff

Kiddyong123ayo:
OP this your post deserves an award.

Some People will say the men should know the kind of women they marry, but the truth is some women change after marriage.

Some after 3yrs, some after 10yrs, and the man laments that this is not the woman he married.

No matter how careful anyone tries to be while marrying, you just cannot get it 100% right.

You want a woman that can cook, what if she has bad attitude.
You want a coke body woman, what if she is lazy in cleaning.
You want this, you want that, yes you will get it, but something must be negative in her, after all she's still a human being.

My best advice is as a man, don't let ur wife be over involved in your business, be very unpredictable and let her know this about you. That way it will be hard for her to see you finish

I prefer been challenged physically. It leaves scars of the event, it might show my weakness or strength, it’s visible to everyone. It’s saddening the society has turned a deaf ear to things affecting men. words are like missiles, they are very potent. Only that they do not live any visible scar. It’s like acid, it eats one within. It torments one, gives instability. Causes depression.

And you see and hear people give them pass.

“She’s a woman, they are wired that way”

“No matter what, just walk away” FOR HOW LONG WILL I WALK AWAY FROM MY HOME?

Not everyone is emotionally strong

A woman assaults you, you are asked to walk away

A woman verbally abuses you, you are asked not to talk back and also walk away.

Unknown to everyone that such mindset and thinking has made some women rise to godlike figure thinking no man will or should touch them no matter what they do.

They attack men careless and ask what do you want to do?

Beat me na?

Some go to any length to frame you up.

We all have heard this from most Nigerian women

I will show you I’m a woman

That’s the mindset of manipulation and the man is left in the middle of nowhere cause every one will believe her.

I had a gf who cheated and lied she was forced. I saw through all those and I did what she never expected. Turned out she lied.

The truth is always bitter,see as nairaland bitches avoid commenting on this topic bcus dey are culprits of everytin the op is talking about..anyways na man wey decide to comit to woman na em dy suffer am,we na "ejaculate and evacuate" bus we dy...

Shegzy8:
I prefer been challenged physically. It leaves scars of the event, it might show my weakness or strength, it’s visible to everyone. It’s saddening the society has turned a deaf ear to things affecting men. words are like missiles, they are very potent. Only that they do not live any visible scar. It’s like acid, it eats one within. It torments one, gives instability. Causes depression.

And you see and hear people give them pass.

“She’s a woman, they are wired that way”

“No matter what, just walk away” FOR HOW LONG WILL I WALK AWAY FROM MY HOME?

Not everyone is emotionally strong

A woman assaults you, you are asked to walk away

A woman verbally abuses you, you are asked not to talk back and also walk away.

Unknown to everyone that such mindset and thinking has made some women rise to godlike figure thinking no man will or should touch them no matter what they do.

They attack men careless and ask what do you want to do?

Beat me na?

Some go to any length to frame you up.

We all have heard this from most Nigerian women

I will show you I’m a woman

That’s the mindset of manipulation and the man is left in the middle of nowhere cause every one will believe her.

I had a gf who cheated and lied she was forced. I saw through all those and I did what she never expected. Turned out she lied.

Base on say I no like stress or anything wahala
If a woman start nagging...omooor nah to carry her loads and property to the streets where she belong...I hate nagging with passion.

OP deserves an award for this write up...
Men go through a lot of abuse in the hands of their wives and no one comes to their aid ((even when they speak out!)) And when they can't take it anymore and decides to respond with their fist, they get called all sorts of names and may even go to prison for defending themselves from ((verbal)) abuse...

The world only see the man hits the woman, they refuse to see the emotional torture he had to go through, they refuse to see the pain and suffering his wife put him through...all they see is a beast who hits people at every slight provocation...Some even go to the extent of framing the man for abuse ((as sighted by OP))...

Well ...
I don't care how long we've been together, any lady that abuses me verbally will park out IMMEDIATELY...
I've seen the harm verbal abuse can do, and I can boldly say that, VERBAL ABUSE IS WORSE THAN PHYSICAL ABUSE...

Most young women are on this table.

Have had my fair share of verbal and emotional abuse from ladies and the most painful part of this is that the lady with the anger, the abuse and the threats just get public sympathy, and consolation while you that received the whole thing is asked to keep quiet and walk away.

The last time it happened to me, I was in shock when a matured man in is 40's went to to console the lady after she had cursed , abused and threatened me while I was standing alone wondering what I had done or said that brought such.
Even the ladies around, said I should leave her that she's angry and sort.

I for one can't stand a lady raising her voice at me or trying to open eye for me

I'll immediately change it for her and put her back in her place

But that day , it was at work
And when you know you work in a feminist environment where all the managers are ladies then you know it's better to even apologize for all the wrongs any lady do to you there.


This verbal abuse is more dangerous than we like to think, it has destroyed many men

Be wise, follow woman wey dey fear God, woman that respect men.

Leave those daughters of jezebels o