No marriage is free from problems, every home been celebrated today had it own ups and downs. The major thing is applying wisdom in handling some issues. Marriage is not easy at all infact e hard pass any exam you can think off. Just like exam some people are afraid when it approaches that is how some people are afraid when it come to child bearing, just like some who are fearful on going to school same way some people are afraid of going into marriage, just like some who want to be in school but no fund to embark on it same way some people are running away from marriage cause of fund, just as people drop out of school due to one reason or the other same way some people divorce due to one reason or the other. If you are determined, sincere, and ready to embark on it you will be successful in your marriage. First call most time in school no be for rich person... Same way in marriage no matter how rich or poor you maybe if you don't know your purpose you will fail. Am a married man and I thank God so far for been able to stand firm and deal with some issues. Nobody is perfect just make/love the imperfect perfectly well. You maner at which you try to correct your spouse when he or she go wrong matters alot.

Hayee:
The couple's in number 7 fit each other
But sincerely marriage is not easy

Normally naa . You do me I do you

Nahunger:


Ours will end in Praise

amin ooo JESU

I shall never regret that I am married. Amen.

Jonathan:
I think the most secret married people keep from eachother and the world revolves round INFIDELITY.
Infidelity is the major reason why marriages don't work and eventually crashes.

No man in his right sense can tolerate their wife cheating or imagine another man having sex with their wife.

No man usually also forgive that act.

EVEN IF THE MAN IS CHEATING TOO,
MEN DON'T FORGIVE INFIDELITY.

Jonathan:
I think the most secret married people keep from eachother and the world revolves round INFIDELITY.
Infidelity is the major reason why marriages don't work and eventually crashes.

No man in his right sense can tolerate their wife cheating or imagine another man having sex with their wife.

No man usually also forgive that act.

Who ever pays de bills don't forgive easily

Have been seriously thinking how I'm going to resume a new job tomorrow cos I don't have tp. Pls someone should help me. Am really broke 0076605179 union bank

habsydiamond:
Most married couples are facing serious issues.. It's not easy to be married for many years without separation... Some can't even last a month.. It takes the grace of God, good communication and endurance..

Marrying and staying married is just a decision like many others we make daily. Don't make it sound out of the ordinary.

I think this post is for those in it, new or old...am xperiencing it, I wouldnt say it's been blis ful, buh I thank God so far. Yes we can't 4give women if they cheat, buh we men cheat a lot and it's normal, which is not supposed to be. Faithfulness and self control is the part that makes marriage work. Once u taste the food outside marriage, no going back..and this is a big problem. Well no one knows it all, we prey God for his direction. I also pray too fr same thing to.

UncleKoboko:


EVEN IF THE MAN IS CHEATING TOO,
MEN DON'T FORGIVE INFIDELITY.

They need to learn to because these days it's so easy to bang married women

Iyaebe:
A good marriage is highly dependent on the man with some good atrributes like uprightness, faithfulness, firm grip,totally in charge and very good core family values.Men with this attributes find it easy to control their homes and tame their wives to their satisfactions.You can't be faulty as a man and expect to have a good home,I'm not ruling out flaws as no one is perfect but marriage demands a lot from both parties hence the reason it is advisable to work on our major flaws before thinking marriage.

That is true

No 11 got me.

Having such a great partner you both would never be tired of is the prayer of every one like me.

DaudaTheSexyGuy:


They need to learn to because these days it's so easy to bang married women

Then you must also learn to be a cuckold. If you don't marry a virgin or if you married a woman not a virgin, accept that you married a WHORĒ that has been used and dumped by several men.

True, a lot of women with good behavior ends up in bad marriage. In fact 90% of good girls marry wrong

Iyaebe:
Good attitude and behavior can't keep a man that doesn't want to be kept. Statistics proves that 90% of women with good attitude and behavior ends up in a bad marriage.

bukkylove:
True, a lot of women with good behavior ends up in bad marriage. In fact 90% of good girls marry wrong

Exactly, most people don't understand the laws of attraction between men and women.

WeBothCashOut:
I will edit this comment later

patiently waiting.....

Iyaebe:
Exactly, most people don't understand the laws of attraction between men and women.

Iyaebe How does it works, please expatiate it for me to learn.

pregnantMan:
Have been seriously thinking how I'm going to resume a new job tomorrow cos I don't have tp. Pls someone should help me. Am really broke 0076605179 union bank

Let Abeg app be your plug

Okaduwa:
This Iyaebe is all over the thread, get a life young woman!!!

She is one frustrated pusssy. Won ti do won paaa

bjcole:


Marriage doesn't need two people to make it work, most successful marriages you see there happened because one individual decided to make it work and often it's the woman, sometimes the man too.

All this work wey una dey talk up and down. Na by force to marry? Anyone that looks at marriage like work is only marrying because of society.

Marriage is not compulsory in these modern days abeg. If you as a man wan nack, find okpo or all these Instagram girls of nowadays wey go nack you collect money. To cook, go restaurant or find better cook and pay am. To clean and wash clothes, get a maid and pay am well. You want kids, give one nice rich girl bele and voila, you can just stay at home and be resting well while she raises the child.

Marriage is not compulsory in the modern world abeg.

Okaduwa:
This Iyaebe is all over the thread, get a life young woman!!!

Anyone that thinks that person is a woman is a big idiot. That’s clearly a man with Adam’s apple, hairy chest and hairy balls

Many of this people are not horn again Christians, so I don't expect anything less

/

Whatever little thing that is left of marriage, social media is there to destroy.

People don't take their problems to immediate families anymore, they talk to strangers online who mean no good.

/

9."If it weren’t for our kids, I would have killed myself. The idea of leaving them fatherless or with some 'new dad' is the sole reason I’m still around."


I actually know a couple of men that feel this way...One of them finally killed himself two weeks ago.

Hayee:
The couple's in number 7 fit each other
But sincerely marriage is not easy

So why the fuss over something whose demerits outweigh the benefits

Oh

NarcissistKing:


See how overconfident she was in typing this. Show me the statistics! You can't fool everybody.

she is right

Marriage is not easy abeg, who wants to marry now, come let's marry make babies and grow old. Just mind your business let me mind mine.

debbydams:
she is right

That's not the answer to what I asked. The world didn't develop by hearsays. Facts and proofs are established.

Iyaebe:
You should be same age with my last born,I'll be turning 65 by December 14th.

I still old pass you with two years

Mutonke:
Married People Revealed The Darkest Secrets They've Been Keeping From Their Spouses For Years.

A while back, redditor u/dusty_ninja asked the internet, "What is the darkest thing you have kept from your partner?" Several married people shared shocking secrets they've been keeping from their spouses — and some of them are heartbreaking.

Here are some of the most surprising ones:

Note: Some responses are taken from Reddit thread and from BuzzFeed Community submissions from this post.

1."I regretted getting married. I never wanted it, and I feel like she pressured me into it."

2."I'm afraid to tell my husband that before we met and got married, I was hooking up with a married man."

3."That having children has made me hate him."

4."I have two children she knows nothing about."
"Got two girls pregnant in high school, and they both want nothing to do with me. That was over 20 years ago, and I've known my current wife for about seven years. One kid died in a car crash, and the other, I have no idea about."

5."I never told my wife that her mother tried to have sex with me."

6."I love my husband and am so happy in our marriage, and I see it lasting for the rest of our lives. But my whole life, I’ve been able to cut ties with people without a second thought; I don’t want to do that with my husband, but the fact that I wouldn't really be bothered if we did end up splitting is troublesome."

7."I've slept with his boss — and I know he slept with one of his coworkers."


8."That I miss being single."

"Less responsibilities, less effort that you have to put into your home life, and you get the bed all to yourself."

9."If it weren’t for our kids, I would have killed myself. The idea of leaving them fatherless or with some 'new dad' is the sole reason I’m still around."

10."We're divorced now, but a few years ago, I slept with my wife's cousin one night when she was in town and my wife was at work."

11."Just how much I depend on her. For our first eight or so months of marriage, my wife and I were never apart due to moving around and being in lockdown. Even now, we're hardly apart since we both work from home. She doesn't know just how sad I get when she goes away."

"I miss her so much, and all I really want to do is curl up on the bed and wait for her to come back. I lose my smile, I lose interest in all my hobbies — everything. Once she gets back, though, I'm alright again."

12."I hate that she compares me to her ex-husband, and I have to prove her wrong over and over again."

13."That I think he should have found someone who isn't as broken and messed up as me."

14."That deep down, I really, truly hate her and what she did to our relationship. I'm only staying to get finances in order so the kids don't suffer."

15."I really dislike his dad. He is misogynistic, close-minded, and verbally abusive. I wouldn’t be surprised if it even became physical by how much he hits the wall."

"I do not want him around our children (when we have them) at all."

16."My debt."

17."Our premature baby died due to a weeklong cascade of events starting with her pre-term birth at 28 weeks. I’ve never told my husband, and never will tell him, that he actually caused my water to break. It was totally accidental, and he has no idea THAT'S why my water broke."

18."How much I hate his family for how they treat him. He doesn’t see the put downs and negativity and is very close to them."

19."I have thoughts of suicide, but I can’t do that to my husband and kids."

"I was born with only one hand. I have rheumatoid arthritis in the one hand I have, and I know it’s spreading. I have osteoarthritis in my lower back and scoliosis to the point where I am most likely going to need spine surgery. I’m only 31 years old. I can’t do this for another 50+ years. I am in such bad pain now and it’s only going to get worse. I don’t want my husband to turn into a caregiver. I can’t envision not being able to take care of myself."

20."I want to tell her how I feel, but I need to grow a spine. We are really just roommates with kids."

"I have to get over what her reaction will be."

And finally:

21."That I haven't felt the spark in a few years."


Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/abor47/those_who_are_married_what_is_the_darkest_secret/

5,7,9 are scary.

11 is cheering.

There are so many beautiful testimonies from couples on their marriages. Maybe we need to hear more on the positives.

Many are enjoying their marriages contrary to what most people think.

But it is delusory to think there is a perfect spouse anywhere. Great work is involved. Maturity is involved. Patience and tolerance are involved. And the grace of God to take care of things beyond us.