I met this lady three years ago while i was in my final years. I got attracted to her, we became friends, months after, i proposed to her and we agreed to date. The relationship was a very serious one that we both agreed to be faithful and committed to each other. I told her my wedding plans after NYSC, and she promised to align herself with my plans by being my fiancee. As Christians, we do pray and fast together about our future. She told me everything about her past and i also did likewise. We got to know each other families, that she got used to my family and relatives. She became my mum's best friend while i maintain regular contacts with her family. We knew each other intimately the second year of our relationship, though we agreed not to, but emotions could not. Despite this, our love grew in leaps and trillions.

Just on Thursday, i was convinced to ask her if there is anything she would like to tell me about her past, she said she had told me all i need to know. I pressed her further and further, and she came with this BOMBSHELL; SHE ONCE HAD AN ABORTION.

Though she told me about a guy she dated before i met her, it was the guy who actually deflowered her. According to her, it was only once she did it and she has to call it quit with the guy immediately after the act.  The guy came begging, but she refuses since she has taking advantage of her.

That sexual intercourse resulted into pregnancy which she aborted because she did not want to have anything to with her again.
Why did she hid this from me all this while?
Why didn't she tell me about the abortion?

Her answers was; she was scared, and did not know how i will feel. Basically, she said she was scared of LOOSING ME.

She cried all her life out yesterday pleading for forgiveness

I love her sincerely. I have not had any date before and after i met her. I felt i was cheated upon.

Please what do i do, i am dying oooooo

Pls help by giving advice

@Nathasa, i felt cheated because she should have told me earlier.
Then, how am sure the abortion didn't claim her womb, am not sure of this and this is really a big concern to me. Though she claimed she did it with a professional doctor and the doctor assured her there is no problem with her womb.
thanks

What's the big deal? Does having an abortion make her less a woman? You knew she dated someone b4 you and that's all that matters. In relationships, these things happen, but you don't expect the lady to go telling you everything single detail esp if you react like this.

Most abortions are done using the abortion pill, which is as good as taking a late plan B pill. The surgical option only happens if that doesn't work or isn't available. If she had a surgical abortion, why don't you take her to a doctor and see if she is ok.
Don't you forget you guys had high emotions one night and had sex. Will you think differently if that sexual act had resulted in a pregnancy? Since you were not ready to marry her in the second yr you were dating, wouldn't you have considered an abortion? Or will you prefer her to raise the baby by herself, since you won't be marrying her, while you are free to move on without any attachment? Don't act like an hypocrite.

thank God she told you she did it only once, what if she had told you she did ten times i bet you would have been in the grave by now. na wa oo

op and guyz

if u know u can't cope with some1 past, why do u ask?

camelot:

thank God she told you she did it only once, what if she had told you she did ten times i bet you would have been in the grave by now. na wa oo

ROTFLMAO

Its her past and I believe she so much regrets that now. If u dont knw, what she told u wld be hunting her from time to time and u acting the way u are now is like adding salt to her wound. She didnt want to loose u that was why she didnt tell u earlier, and now that she did the same thing is abt to happen. Only God can forgive a thing like this,so if u love her and want to make her happy as u promised (I knw u must have), then take her past as past.

poster
rest your mind. Though i can understand how you are feeling because maybe you dont beleive in abortions but you care about this woman and it's not like she told you she had hiv. I mean think about all the times you have mast-rubated do you know some people might could that as abortion? <-- im just saying

anyway chill out if you are concerned about her womb take her to a doctor im sure they can examine her and determine if she has permanent damage if any. By the way make sure you keep your parents out of this and be a man and show support for the woman you love. When the time comes you both with start your own family and forget this time.

What if she told you she has a kid staying with an aunt in the village rather than abortion would you have felt differently? Visit a doctor to be certain nothing went wrong with her womb. Or better make her pregnant if you r in doubt before paying her dowry

You don"t have any problem, just because she had an abortion does not make her cancerous, forget about it and move on,

Is that why you are dying? I seriously assumed you were sick or something.

lmfao!
na wah o!
she has had up2 four abortions.
i know her.

vaLasce:

lmfao!
na wah o!
[b]she has had up2 four abortions.
[/b]i know her.

I think it's ridiculous that she's asking you for forgiveness over what she did before you ever met. Grow up. If you're scared about her womb, just go and see a doctor for tests. Based on how you reacted, you can be sure that she won't make the mistake of telling the truth ever again.

If you love her them go for her. Prostitute after committing series of abortion gets married and have children, you can even get married to a virgin and child bearing becomes difficult. It's God that gives children to man and not weather the womb is intact or not. she is open to you, that's a credit for her, some would prefer to keep it as a secret.

Man, actually you;ll need to forgive her at the end cos of the love you have for her but purnish her by not accepting the plead too fast cos you also asked not even once but several time. for this reasons let her know you're not for game of hide and seek. and please don't try anything too funny along the way so it wont come hunting you.

u r pathetic 4 asking r abt r past after making all that plans moreover what d big deal afterall she didnt abort when u started date just make sure she pregnant 4 u befor marriage u can kw what she don to r body

Dont forget the rule of 3, if she says its once just multiply it by 3. Don't be pathetic op, she told you herself not that you got to know elsewhere beside you have the doctor to confirm the state of her womb. Next time she'll keep her mouth shut.

If a girl says she has aborted once ,means she has aborted fiver.If she says she fcccuked once ,multiply by 50,if she says she has had one bf,multiply by 5

You shouldn't be mad at her that she hesitated telling u in the first instance; who wouldnt be scared of saying such a thing? dont u ever disregard ur girl cos of this cos over 50% of the young girls u see out there have been down the same road. u should rather be happy that she told you herself cos most stories like this are heard from a third party. In my opinion she sounds quite honest _{although u should have in mind that if she told u she's done it once, then it's possible she's actually done it like twice or thrice.}

The solution is simple, u both should see a doctor and confirm everything is in place.

@Poster

You put your self in this condition, The Devil you know is better than the angel you dont know. Before you are dying let me inform you that there are still alot of things she is hiding from you. First wetin you dey think sef, afterall you were not the one who deflowered her, so expect the unexpected.

Bro stop asking too many things, the next girl might be a LovePeddler, so no dey trouble your life over nothing. What if she did not open up, ? Even you no pure , most men who are not husband material will be looking for a Wife Material. Boy if you have passion and affection for her I will advise you ride on,

My Advise learn to celebrate her strong point and close your eyes to her weak point, No woman is perfect, I can assure you the next girl will be worst than her, Mark it.

rokiatu:

Is that why you are dying? I seriously assumed you were sick or something.

BABE!:

OP, why are shouting all over the place like someone stole your Blackberry? Is this why you're "dying"? hehe--lmao---

Chei! So freaking dramatic! In fact, I advice the girl not to marry you, coz you fit give person hypertension. Chill out abeg! The babe told you about her past, if you no one do again, move one--that's your business.

ROTFL

@OP, d past is behind u, 2 HELL WIF IT. D present is here, USE IT. D future is ahead, PLAN 4 IT. N rmemba u can't turn bck d hands of time or change wat has already happened.

Another 'ugly side of confession'. @poster. What if she hadnt told u? U would have felt healthier abi?is saying d truth now a crime. So what's ur fear? She mightnt be able to conceive or jealousy dat some1 had sexx with her b4? Grow up broda. My opinion. Let this lady be. We all have pasts. She loves u. If u leave her, u'll end up with some1 who has worst past &she wont tell u, &u'll feel great u've found an angel cos u dont know her past!

Lol @ this poster oh. It's either you're too young or you have been living under a rock for too long. What's the big deal about abortion? It might interest you to learn that 90% of girls aged 22 and above have aborted pregnancies at least twice. So what gives?

Besides I'm impressed that the girl told you BEFORE marriage. Shows she's got character and conscience. Most of them have done worse things and would NEVER confess or admit even 1/10th of such atrocities they've committed. It's understandable that she didn't tell you at first; the shame and fear of your reaction would have been deeply entrenched in her psyche. I'm sure you too must be too ashamed to reveal to her that you once slept with a mad woman ('perhaps' under the influence of alcohol) who you encountered while staggering home one fateful midnight. You see? That's how the cookie crumbles.

If you feel convinced about the need to marry at all, then I think she's probably a good enough candidate - as good a candidate as you can find these days, trusss me. The small matter of a self-confessed abortion certainly doesn't invalidate her uxorial credentials. You should be talking about fixing a date for Introduction and subsequent 'Igbankwu' ceremony. Don't forget to invite me to the latter (it's been a while since I witnessed one). Goodluck and congrats in advance!