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Men, Are You Comfortable With A Spouse Who Hides Her Finances? - Family - Nairaland

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Men, Are You Comfortable With A Spouse Who Hides Her Finances? by AllKnowing: 10:40am On Dec 09, 2021
I’m having this problem with almost every female. It’s almost one reason why considering marriage is a problem now... These women are not ready to declare their finances.

I hate asking any woman for money. So this isn’t a case of knowing her finances to ask for loans or something.

However, I love openness in a partner. Declare any and everything as I would. Conflicts in relationships start from secrecy.

Guys, what’s your take?
Re: Men, Are You Comfortable With A Spouse Who Hides Her Finances? by Bigredmachine: 10:42am On Dec 09, 2021
Remember the man's money is for all of us...

While the woman's money is only for her...

Anyway, it's bad for u to hide your finances from ur partner

2 Likes

Re: Men, Are You Comfortable With A Spouse Who Hides Her Finances? by AllKnowing: 10:52am On Dec 09, 2021
Bigredmachine:
Remember the man's money is for all of us...

While the woman's money is only for her...

Anyway, it's bad for u to hide your finances from ur partner


We are used to this

1 Like

Re: Men, Are You Comfortable With A Spouse Who Hides Her Finances? by Bigredmachine: 10:55am On Dec 09, 2021
AllKnowing:


We are used to this

The reason why men don't disclose again is because women don't disclose too
Re: Men, Are You Comfortable With A Spouse Who Hides Her Finances? by dawnomike(m): 11:01am On Dec 09, 2021
A man has no reasons to look into his wife's finances except they but have a prior mutual understanding to be open about it... It is all a matter of choice which should be agreed upon before hand.

2 Likes

Re: Men, Are You Comfortable With A Spouse Who Hides Her Finances? by MufasaLion: 12:00pm On Dec 09, 2021
A single man is a happy and healthy man.

2 Likes

Re: Men, Are You Comfortable With A Spouse Who Hides Her Finances? by AllKnowing: 3:32pm On Dec 09, 2021
dawnomike:
A man has no reasons to look into his wife's finances except they but have a prior mutual understanding to be open about it... It is all a matter of choice which should be agreed upon before hand.

Okay...

Are you implying that, quite normally, the woman has reasons to look into her husband’s finances?
Re: Men, Are You Comfortable With A Spouse Who Hides Her Finances? by ibechris(m): 3:56pm On Dec 09, 2021
When I got married to my wife...for a year I never ask her how much she earned. But as time went on, I asked her,she told me and for the past 6years I have never asked not until one day,she told me her upfront,her real pay and she apologised to me that she lied to me when I initially asked about her salary.

Today,she is the one pushing her upfront and salaries for us to invest along with mine. Women need to be treated with tenderness and understanding,if u can,u will win her heart.

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: Men, Are You Comfortable With A Spouse Who Hides Her Finances? by AllKnowing: 5:17pm On Dec 09, 2021
ibechris:
When I got married to my wife...for a year I never ask her how much she earned. But as time went on, I asked her,she told me and for the past 6years I have never asked not until one day,she told me her upfront,her real pay and she apologised to me that she lied to me when I initially asked about her salary.

Today,she is the one pushing her upfront and salaries for us to invest along with mine. Women need to be treated with tenderness and understanding,if u can,u will win her heart.

Was there a point to this?

1 Like

Re: Men, Are You Comfortable With A Spouse Who Hides Her Finances? by Nobody: 5:26pm On Dec 09, 2021
A man has no business with his wife's finances.

3 Likes

Re: Men, Are You Comfortable With A Spouse Who Hides Her Finances? by Nobody: 5:31pm On Dec 09, 2021
Some women are just selfish. so na only man need to spend hin money, why u women keeps buying unnecessary cosmetics.
Re: Men, Are You Comfortable With A Spouse Who Hides Her Finances? by Acidosis(m): 5:40pm On Dec 09, 2021
Iyaebe:
A man has no business with his wife's finances.

Why?
Re: Men, Are You Comfortable With A Spouse Who Hides Her Finances? by Mariangeles(f): 5:43pm On Dec 09, 2021
Do men disclose to their wives what they earn?
Well, it depends on the dynamics of the relationship sha.
Some couples are open to each other, while others accord themselves some level of privacy and they’re fine that way.

3 Likes

Re: Men, Are You Comfortable With A Spouse Who Hides Her Finances? by efficiencie(m): 5:45pm On Dec 09, 2021
AllKnowing:
I’m having this problem with almost every female. It’s almost one reason why considering marriage is a problem now... These women are not ready to declare their finances.

I hate asking any woman for money. So this isn’t a case of knowing her finances to ask for loans or something.

However, I love openness in a partner. Declare any and everything as I would. Conflicts in relationships start from secrecy.

Guys, what’s your take?


Oh yes everything has to be declared. Past, present and future must be declared if not something fishy is about to go down. As far as finances are concerned every wealth in my home is the commonwealth of the family. I have no personal finance. My wife has no personal finance. We both work towards building the commonwealth of the home. I know some would say "what if she divorces you" and my response to them is why marry a spouse with the expectation of a divorce? If divorce is on the table then marriage should not happen at all. I know this is farfetched for many but this is what I took to the LORD God in prayer before I met my wife and the LORD God made it beautiful in His time.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Men, Are You Comfortable With A Spouse Who Hides Her Finances? by AllKnowing: 7:11pm On Dec 09, 2021
Iyaebe:
A man has no business with his wife's finances.

Little wonder why most of you female folk step into marriage with the one foot out the door!

1 Like

Re: Men, Are You Comfortable With A Spouse Who Hides Her Finances? by Nobody: 7:29pm On Dec 09, 2021
Acidosis:

Why?
Because it's his responsibility to wholely provide for the family

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Men, Are You Comfortable With A Spouse Who Hides Her Finances? by Nobody: 8:08pm On Dec 09, 2021
It takes a level of trust for a woman to open up on her finances. Women will only share with you how much they earn if you have proven beyond doubt that you worth knowing. She may likely give you just an idea or range at early stage then give you accurate figure later on.


So calm down....and gain her trust first.

1 Like

Re: Men, Are You Comfortable With A Spouse Who Hides Her Finances? by yuping(m): 9:40pm On Dec 09, 2021
I don't pry but don't hide your finance from me because I don't hide mine, if we are partners even if not the total balance in your account at least I should no the details of your account for emergency sake.

1 Like

Re: Men, Are You Comfortable With A Spouse Who Hides Her Finances? by AllKnowing: 11:02pm On Dec 09, 2021
Palema007:
It takes a level of trust for a woman to open up on her finances. Women will only share with you how much they earn if you have proven beyond doubt that you worth knowing. She may likely give you just an idea or range at early stage then give you accurate figure later on.


So calm down....and gain her trust first.

I beg to disagree...

Marriage is a partnership! My Mum spent years in the banking sector and in that time I saw first hand how much money banks make from deceased customers whose families/ spouses do not know the details of their accounts.
Re: Men, Are You Comfortable With A Spouse Who Hides Her Finances? by Nobody: 11:07pm On Dec 09, 2021
AllKnowing:


I beg to disagree...

Marriage is a partnership! My Mum spent years in the banking sector and in that time I saw first hand how much money banks make from deceased customers whose families/ spouses do not know the details of their accounts.

Me ehn, I beg to agree.

Your point no relate with mine but you are right. grin

2 Likes

Re: Men, Are You Comfortable With A Spouse Who Hides Her Finances? by AllKnowing: 11:21am On Dec 10, 2021
Palema007:
Me ehn, I beg to agree.

Your point no relate with mine but you are right. grin

grin grin grin
Re: Men, Are You Comfortable With A Spouse Who Hides Her Finances? by frozen70(f): 11:52am On Dec 10, 2021
AllKnowing:
I’m having this problem with almost every female. It’s almost one reason why considering marriage is a problem now... These women are not ready to declare their finances.

I hate asking any woman for money. So this isn’t a case of knowing her finances to ask for loans or something.

However, I love openness in a partner. Declare any and everything as I would. Conflicts in relationships start from secrecy.

Guys, what’s your take?


If you want to be happy, just ignore that part from women

If you are lucky to have one that supports you at home, count yourself Lucky
Re: Men, Are You Comfortable With A Spouse Who Hides Her Finances? by hothuntee(m): 12:42pm On Dec 10, 2021
frozen70:


If you want to be happy, just ignore that part from women

If you are lucky to have one that supports you at home, count yourself Lucky

If who wants to be happy?

Actually, it's because in this clime, finances has become the hottest topic in relationships due to the prevalent hardship. Transparency is trash when it comes to finances... *eerie laughter.

My friend's elder bro sent all his children abroad through education, built a house for another woman and relocated abroad without the wife after keeping quiet for a long time in the marriage. What he declares at home is what can be spent.

U think say u dey wise... *Wide grin

A man would keep back too when you're secretive. All you think you know is a shadow of all that there is. If you're not transparent then, be ready for the side effect. Zero accountability.

3 Likes

Re: Men, Are You Comfortable With A Spouse Who Hides Her Finances? by Nobody: 3:47pm On Dec 10, 2021
frozen70:


If you want to be happy, just ignore that part from women

If you are lucky to have one that supports you at home, count yourself Lucky

Mtttttcheeeeewww...
Rubbish...
Re: Men, Are You Comfortable With A Spouse Who Hides Her Finances? by Nobody: 4:12pm On Dec 10, 2021
AllKnowing:
I’m having this problem with almost every female. It’s almost one reason why considering marriage is a problem now... These women are not ready to declare their finances.

I hate asking any woman for money. So this isn’t a case of knowing her finances to ask for loans or something.

However, I love openness in a partner. Declare any and everything as I would. Conflicts in relationships start from secrecy.

Guys, what’s your take?


I grew up in a family where even I and my siblings knew how much our parents earned every month... My parents were that open with each other about finance ((amongst other things))...

They both knew how much each other earned...
They never made any major financial decisions without first running it through with the other party...
They were both accountable to each other about their finances...

I can clearly remember on 2 occasions when mum transferred her salary to dad....one. was when they bought their first land and the second was during the roofing process..

So I can't seem to grasp my head around where this concept of "his money is our money and her money is her money"... Like, where did it come from??
Ha!!!!!
And to think that there are females who actually think this way is quite shocking...

Well...
Let everyone carry his cross...
Buh as for me, I won't be comfortable if my wife keeps this from me ...
Cause I believe in openness, honesty and trust...

If I can be open and honest with my wife, if I can trust my wife with my finances, then I believe I deserve the same the courtesy from her, if she disagree with this, then there's no point being together in the first place...

That's why I'd always advice my guys who are about to get married, your courtship days is not for nacking, it's a time to actually discuss things like this, don't give no room for assumption, TALK ABOUT IT, so at least you both discuss your expectations from each other...

3 Likes

Re: Men, Are You Comfortable With A Spouse Who Hides Her Finances? by guzbit(m): 4:17pm On Dec 10, 2021
Favfables1:


I grew up in a family where even I and my siblings knew how much our parents earned every month... My parents were that open with each other about finance ((amongst other things))...

They both knew how much each other earned...
They never made any major financial decisions without first running it through with the other party...
They were both accountable to each other about their finances...

I can clearly remember on 2 occasions when mum transferred her salary to dad....one. was when they bought their first land and the second was during the roofing process..

So I can't seem to grasp my head around where this concept of "his money is our money and her money is her money"... Like, where did it come from??
Ha!!!!!
And to think that there are females who actually think this way is quite shocking...

Well...
Let everyone carry his cross...
Buh as for me, I won't be comfortable if my wife keeps this from me ...
Cause I believe in openness, honesty and trust...

If I can be open and honest with my wife, if I can trust my wife with my finances, then I believe I deserve the same the courtesy from her, if she disagree with this, then there's no point being together in the first place...

That's why I'd always advice my guys who are about to get married, your courtship days is not for nacking, it's a time to actually discuss things like this, don't give no room for assumption, TALK ABOUT IT, so at least you both discuss your expectations from each other...
Well said

1 Like

Re: Men, Are You Comfortable With A Spouse Who Hides Her Finances? by Nobody: 5:09pm On Dec 10, 2021
It's good to be open about one's finances but sometimes women aren't to avoid hurting a man's ego. There're men who aren't comfortable with the idea of a woman earning more than them.

1 Like

Re: Men, Are You Comfortable With A Spouse Who Hides Her Finances? by StreetFight: 5:30pm On Dec 10, 2021
All women do. If you see any woman showing her husband her finances, just know that she is disclosing only 33%.
Re: Men, Are You Comfortable With A Spouse Who Hides Her Finances? by AllKnowing: 8:52pm On Dec 10, 2021
Favfables1:


I grew up in a family where even I and my siblings knew how much our parents earned every month... My parents were that open with each other about finance ((amongst other things))...

They both knew how much each other earned...
They never made any major financial decisions without first running it through with the other party...
They were both accountable to each other about their finances...

I can clearly remember on 2 occasions when mum transferred her salary to dad....one. was when they bought their first land and the second was during the roofing process..

So I can't seem to grasp my head around where this concept of "his money is our money and her money is her money"... Like, where did it come from??
Ha!!!!!
And to think that there are females who actually think this way is quite shocking...

Well...
Let everyone carry his cross...
Buh as for me, I won't be comfortable if my wife keeps this from me ...
Cause I believe in openness, honesty and trust...

If I can be open and honest with my wife, if I can trust my wife with my finances, then I believe I deserve the same the courtesy from her, if she disagree with this, then there's no point being together in the first place...

That's why I'd always advice my guys who are about to get married, your courtship days is not for nacking, it's a time to actually discuss things like this, don't give no room for assumption, TALK ABOUT IT, so at least you both discuss your expectations from each other...

You grew up in a very healthy environment, my brother!

2 Likes

Re: Men, Are You Comfortable With A Spouse Who Hides Her Finances? by foyeks2001(f): 10:44pm On Dec 10, 2021
In my family, there's nothing like my money or your money... Rather, it's our money. My money is our money while his, is also our money.

When you are in-love, money will the least trouble.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Men, Are You Comfortable With A Spouse Who Hides Her Finances? by AllKnowing: 11:21pm On Dec 10, 2021
foyeks2001:
In my family, there's nothing like my money or your money... Rather, it's our money. My money is our money while his, is also our money.

When you are in-love, money will the least trouble.

I noticed some women claim to be in love but aren’t. Even in-laws don’t help. How do you explain that a mother tells her just-married daughter to shine her eyes in the marriage and not to “sidon look” financially in the marriage.

1 Like

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