Dottore:
The truth is that me and you know that you want to stay back so you can flex with many poonanies like an adult bachelor. We both know that there's no how you won't have a take home that's equivalent of 800k minimum after tax if you choose to stay in UK.

Dottore:
The truth is that me and you know that you want to stay back so you can flex with many poonanies like an adult bachelor. We both know that there's no how you won't have a take home that's equivalent of 800k minimum after tax if you choose to stay in UK.

Acidosis:


Since you people love to convert dollars, pounds, and Canadian dollars to Naira to make a point, I hope you're aware that it is better to earn 400k in Nigeria than stay in the UK with 800k/monthly?

Biglittlelois:



I thought I was the only one that hates seeing that conversion, as if the little free overlooked privileges here and their standard of living over there down to their tax is same as naija.

Acidosis:


Since you people love to convert dollars, pounds, and Canadian dollars to Naira to make a point, I hope you're aware that it is better to earn 400k in Nigeria than stay in the UK with 800k/monthly?

tyup:
Divorce ur wife and share ur kids amongst ur family members bfr travelling. Thank me later

greenie77:


Is that how you and your siblings were shared out and it worked out well for your divorced parents?

tyup:


No, they took their first trip Abroad after we were matured.

If you cannot see sense in that my advice, i wonder the ratio of ur IQ

Nebes:
If you make the move to the UK, then only God Himself will help you through the pains you will suffer. I will tell you why. If I were you, I’ll move though.

Test your wife by telling her to shelf the plans of moving and see her reactions. If she VEHEMENTLY disagrees with you, then get ready for trouble if you follow her there. Most women do not manage power over their husbands well.

Trust me, the moment you step into the UK, as a nurse she immediately becomes more financially powerful than you till you find your footing. She will enjoy that power and if she’s wicked she will attempt to keep you down. Your manhood will be thoroughly bruised. You can deduce how she will handle this financial power by her reaction when you tell her to stop the plans of traveling now.

Finally, if I were you and I decide to travel, I will travel knowing the difficulty that lies ahead. If I were you, I will also travel knowing that only Christ Himself can keep me as the head of my family even though I might suffer for a while for that same family. UK is a good land. If my God is your God, He will so balance you in a few years that you will forget the peanuts you earned in Nigeria. That’s only if your mind stays on Him in your pursuits. The price you pay is that of family unity. Take this from a fellow Nigerian that lived in Europe for years.

greenie77:


If you really do see sense in that your advice then you really have nothing upstairs. Advising someone to break up his family and distribute his children to his relatives as if he is sharing bread, what made you think he has the exclusive right to decide who the children stay with should he divorce as you suggested and the mother of the children will just keep quiet?

Since the wife is already preparing for her IELTS and other exams, it is very certain she is relocating and may likely first travel alone to go start work and settle in. Then look for bigger accommodation, the school the older kids would be attending and how she and her husband would be sharing the task of taking care of the kids when the other is at work because paying for childcare is no joke in the UK.

tyup:


What if she did not pass IELTS and the other exams??

Y'all really do think relocating abroad esp to a country like UK coupled with expenses to cater for 2 or 3 kids is joke. Pls pity the poor man

RoyalBoutique:


Which Kain wives una dey marry sef?

My wife sustained me for years before I found my footing.

And she didn't make noise about it.

Find better woman, Una no go hear.

ShenTeh:
@Krisnel Well, I think I am very qualified to advise you for very good reasons.

I understand your fears and yes, they are very valid.

You need to be upfront and personal with your wife. You can work things out together. Your current course of plans is treacherous, you are a captain planning to abandon ship mid-journey. You need to let your family know where you stand and why and how the plan comes together in the future and safely for everyone.

Let your wife know your fears and you can both share ideas and plan accordingly. As the current bigger earner in Nigeria, it is ok to let her go first as her career holds better and quicker promises than yours. But having to abandon her with 3 children midplan is not fatherhood or great companionship. It would be wickedness, very frustrating and an impediment to her. She will be mentally traumatized. Please discuss with her so she can brace herself for the task. Women like to be prepared, they can take on battles but preparing them is as good as their victory. But whatever it is, an immigrant 'single' mum with 3 kids combining work is going to be tough. Very very likely so.

Two, that said, she can go first while you still earn your Nigerian 'peanuts' to clear the bills and plan to join them on a fixed time. But to avoid stories that touch, go through all the visa processing together with them and get the kpali for yourself too.

Like someone said already, no pain no gain, whether you go now or later, as long as you have decided on that path, chances are that it is going to be rough at the beginning but you are most likely going to be better off in the long run.

Otherwise, please abort plan altogether and don't set that innocent woman and children up for a dream you do not see yourself featuring in.

Cheers. And God bless your home.

InTheCloudySky:
Have a good plan in place or start looking for jobs before you leave. But, if you want your wife and kids to go first while you sort yourself out in Nigeria, flights from Nigeria to the UK are just a few hours long, so visiting them shouldn't be a problem. Just try and make the move to be with them within a few months thereafter.

greenie77:


If you really do see sense in that your advice then you really have nothing upstairs. Advising someone to break up his family and distribute his children to his relatives as if he is sharing bread, what made you think he has the exclusive right to decide who the children stay with should he divorce as you suggested and the mother of the children will just keep quiet?

Since the wife is already preparing for her IELTS and other exams, it is very certain she is relocating and may likely first travel alone to go start work and settle in. Then look for bigger accommodation, the school the older kids would be attending and how she and her husband would be sharing the task of taking care of the kids when the other is at work because paying for childcare is no joke in the UK.

Thank you

Nebes:


Always appreciate your wife. She is among the very few good ones.

Krisnel:
Dear Nlanders,
Pls I'm not a regular poster here though I visit the site on a regular especially with my main account.
I'm in a big moment of indecision, so I seek advice...

I'll be 42 this year. I'm 8 years in marriage. My wife is a nurse, employed plus other side hustle.
I'm also not doing badly with a salary of above 600k per month (when u add every). We have kids.
I was the one who initiated the idea of us moving outside the country, however, I've started developing cold feet. Of course, my wife has gotten so engrossed with the idea and eagerly preparing for her IELTS and other exams for the move. I have been ever supportive but the truth is that I am no longer eager to make the move.
My present disposition has been to support my wife any way I can for the move but tell her I'm not ready to join them when everything works, convince her to go ahead with the kids while I stay back. Below are my reasons why I prefer it that way:
1. I presently feel ok with my job and I don't think the pay is bad. My wife is a nurse, it's quite ok for her if she travels abroad. She'll probably make it from the go there. I'm not so sure about that for me. So how do I leave my present comfortable job for an unknown? Of course, some friends have been encouraging me to make the move that I'll get sth that will be fetching me higher there, but I still have my fears.

2. I've always had a dream for Nigerian politics, though I don't have the resources to pursue that dream for now, but I feel in 40s, I need to be close to home at least and monitor proceedings � . What about wifey makes it and joins resources with me to launch into that?

3. Well, I feel the vibes with which we went into marriage is no longer that strong and I feel I and my wife give each other some space. I visit at intervals, perhaps that may help clear my head, process things and who knows bring back the vibes.

The fears;

1. I think my wife won't entertain the idea of me staying back. She doesn't trust me that much for good reasons.
2. My kids are still young, 3 kids ranging 7 to 2 years. I love them to bits and it may shatter them not having daddy around. Not being close on their formative years may just be disastrous.

So please guys, I need your objective advice. Kindly don't insult me, I'm an elder�
I'll appreciate if the MODs move to front page for more visibility �

InTheCloudySky:
Have a good plan in place or start looking for jobs before you leave. But, if you want your wife and kids to go first while you sort yourself out in Nigeria, flights from Nigeria to the UK are just a few hours long, so visiting them shouldn't be a problem. Just try and make the move to be with them within a few months thereafter.

CanadianNaija:


Who will watch the kids while their mum tries to settle into a new country and job hunt?
Why do you people give wicked advise like this to men, but y’all won’t do same to women.