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Sometimes, Love Can Be Complicating. - Romance - Nairaland

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Sometimes, Love Can Be Complicating. by chocolateme(f): 10:04pm On Feb 01, 2022
The word "Love" can be very tiring..
When you go beyond loving someone and almost worshipping that person, not because he is rich, wealthy, foots your bill or does anything spectacular but because you just can't stay without loving his personality, stubbornness, kind heart towards the low spirited persons, approach to life, corrections, standing on his right and most importantly his boldness and fearlessness.

Then he assures you of his dedication, devotions and commitment.
BUT THEN, he finds it difficult to communicate you always. You then start feeling hurt, you approach him for explanation, he keeps assuring you that you guys are good and great. But you feel something is off but can't place it.
You then find yourself in a situation where it looks like you are desperate just because you communicate to cover up his lack of communication.
Now you don't even know how to place your feelings anymore but still you are deeply in love with him.

To make the feelings go away has become a very big challenge even though every form of distraction has been applied. It has gotten to the stage where you have decided to stop communicating to know his reaction but two weeks today, he has not communicated neither have you yet you check up each other on social media status.

Don't know what to call this.

2 Likes

Re: Sometimes, Love Can Be Complicating. by ajailer(m): 10:13pm On Feb 01, 2022
Love is down. Over n out
Love is down. Over n out, can you hear me?
Feels funny cos am also feeling like that right n going through the final breakup now but I have promised myself to be strong.
Love, Kai. U dey wicked cos with u no second chance.

Pls promise ur self to remain strong and all these will pass.

1 Like

Re: Sometimes, Love Can Be Complicating. by Boogyman557: 10:57pm On Feb 01, 2022
Holly Gram cool



DIS kind love matterz SELF...



LOVE don CAST TEY TEY...




I was in a Time machine LAST week...



I decided to take my self BACK to d 90s...



I could SEE everyone but de can't SEE me...



I Saw real LOVE and happiness..


Even without phone or Internet, TINs wer easy and SWEET...



LOVE was real... Every was CALM and nice..



people telling good stories... older men telling KIDS stories dat teaches something good...



women dressed in a decent way...



Am still trying on fixing d Time machine SO I can be able to communicate with DEM...



WTF MAN

4 Likes

Re: Sometimes, Love Can Be Complicating. by eddykaka(m): 11:33pm On Feb 01, 2022
Boogyman557:
Holly Gram cool



DIS kind love matterz SELF...



LOVE don CAST TEY TEY...




I was in a Time machine LAST week...



I decided to take my self BACK to d 90s...



I could SEE everyone but de can't SEE me...



I Saw real LOVE and happiness..


Even without phone or Internet, TINs wer easy and SWEET...



LOVE was real... Every was CALM and nice..



people telling good stories... older men telling KIDS stories dat teaches something good...



women dressed in a decent way...



Am still trying on fixing d Time machine SO I can be able to communicate with DEM...



WTF MAN
bro, that loud no good for u try AZ

1 Like

Re: Sometimes, Love Can Be Complicating. by chocolateme(f): 12:03am On Feb 02, 2022
ajailer:
Love is down. Over n out
Love is down. Over n out, can you hear me?
Feels funny cos am also feeling like that right n going through the final breakup now but I have promised myself to be strong.
Love, Kai. U dey wicked cos with u no second chance.

Pls promise ur self to remain strong and all these will pass.
this is encouraging and at the same time scary. I felt your words in my marrow. I promise..
He actually made me to come see his parents for first time meeting while still on the non communicating mode.
Very funny how we check up on each other on internet. Very odd how the older siblings calls to check up on me and advising me to ignore him until he makes up his mind.
I am not going to break down hopelessly now even if anything goes wrong.
So thanks really my friend for the encouragement. I am doing everything possible to make sure I occupy my mind and heart daily. I also pray tirelessly over this, as In tirelessly.
We met on a neutral ground and there has never been any drama of issues. It's all about marriage stuff. I guess he wants to slow down to study me while I do mine but the signs are there for me that he is the one.
Nevertheless, I am been very cautious.
But I really care for him. Thanks
Re: Sometimes, Love Can Be Complicating. by Boogyman557: 1:31am On Feb 02, 2022
eddykaka:
bro, that loud no good for u try AZ
Holly Gram cool



MY G.



I no de LIKE BLA only AZ...



I de mix AM wit WEED den use D5 take step am DOWN.



1:30am. a good time to BLA some WEED..



Life SWEET ooo



WTF MAN
Re: Sometimes, Love Can Be Complicating. by CapitalBank: 4:45am On Feb 02, 2022
chocolateme:
The word "Love" can be very tiring..
When you go beyond loving someone and almost worshipping that person, not because he is rich, wealthy, foots your bill or does anything spectacular but because you just can't stay without loving his personality, stubbornness, kind heart towards the low spirited persons, approach to life, corrections, standing on his right and most importantly his boldness and fearlessness.

Then he assures you of his dedication, devotions, and commitment.
BUT THEN, he finds it difficult to communicate with you always. You then start feeling hurt, you approach him for an explanation, he keeps assuring you that you guys are good and great. But you feel something is off but can't place it.
You then find yourself in a situation where it looks like you are desperate just because you communicate to cover up his lack of communication.
Now you don't even know how to place your feelings anymore but still, you are deeply in love with him.

To make the feelings go away has become a very big challenge even though every form of distraction has been applied. It has gotten to the stage where you have decided to stop communicating to know his reaction but two weeks today, he has not communicated nor have you yet check-up each other on social media status.

Don't know what to call this.

Hey Choco, do you mind if I put in my thought for you? I have been where you are now and the only difference is that we are opposite gender.

Are you seeking for an advice and a way out or you just felt like ranting? Let me know and I will do it.

1 Like

Re: Sometimes, Love Can Be Complicating. by helinues: 4:57am On Feb 02, 2022
Na people dey complicate things for themselves .

Is love truly blind? Let's start from there

1 Like

Re: Sometimes, Love Can Be Complicating. by Nobody: 5:22am On Feb 02, 2022
CapitalBank:


Hey Choco, do you mind if I put in my thought for you? I have been where you are now and the only difference is that we are opposite gender.

Are you seeking for an advice and a way out or you just felt like ranting? Let me know and I will do it.
I suspect you are a Yoruba demon. Don't send that girl a dm. I know you want to get into her pants.
Let me cast your game right now.
Re: Sometimes, Love Can Be Complicating. by dontrulee: 5:56am On Feb 02, 2022
I know this phase very well.
The stalemate of Love.

2 Likes

Re: Sometimes, Love Can Be Complicating. by SarutobiEky(m): 8:38am On Feb 02, 2022
chocolateme:
this is encouraging and at the same time scary. I felt your words in my marrow. I promise..
He actually made me to come see his parents for first time meeting while still on the non communicating mode.
Very funny how we check up on each other on internet. Very odd how the older siblings calls to check up on me and advising me to ignore him until he makes up his mind.
I am not going to break down hopelessly now even if anything goes wrong.
So thanks really my friend for the encouragement. I am doing everything possible to make sure I occupy my mind and heart daily. I also pray tirelessly over this, as In tirelessly.
We met on a neutral ground and there has never been any drama of issues. It's all about marriage stuff. I guess he wants to slow down to study me while I do mine but the signs are there for me that he is the one.
Nevertheless, I am been very cautious.
But I really care for him. Thanks
because he's got cheddah ba
Re: Sometimes, Love Can Be Complicating. by SarutobiEky(m): 8:39am On Feb 02, 2022
Kellzzyy:

I suspect you are a Yoruba demon. Don't send that girl a dm. I know you want to get into her pants.
Let me cast your game right now.
you be mumu. Whether you cast am or not..another nigga go still hit and run. Get sense
Re: Sometimes, Love Can Be Complicating. by SarutobiEky(m): 8:40am On Feb 02, 2022
Wahala for those wey dey find love.

1 Like

Re: Sometimes, Love Can Be Complicating. by Nobody: 8:50am On Feb 02, 2022
SarutobiEky:
you be mumu. Whether you cast am or not..another nigga go still hit and run. Get sense
That one na sure thing. Cos the girl herself no get sense. But at least not this nigga
Re: Sometimes, Love Can Be Complicating. by SarutobiEky(m): 8:53am On Feb 02, 2022
Kellzzyy:

That one na sure thing. Cos the girl herself no get sense. But at least not this nigga
grin grin olohun.
Re: Sometimes, Love Can Be Complicating. by CapitalBank: 11:54am On Feb 02, 2022
Kellzzyy:

I suspect you are a Yoruba demon. Don't send that girl a dm. I know you want to get into her pants.
Let me cast your game right now.
Nope... I don't even remember the last time I sent a DM to anyone on here. It must be years ago lol

I have an idea of what she is going through because I have just exited a similar situation.

1 Like

Re: Sometimes, Love Can Be Complicating. by Nobody: 12:21pm On Feb 02, 2022
CapitalBank:
Nope... I don't even remember the last time I sent a DM to anyone on here. It must be years ago lol

I have an idea of what she is going through because I have just exited a similar situation.
But if na your fellow guy post this thing now you for no offer any support oo
Re: Sometimes, Love Can Be Complicating. by chocolateme(f): 1:11pm On Feb 02, 2022
CapitalBank:


Hey Choco, do you mind if I put in my thought for you? I have been where you are now and the only difference is that we are opposite gender.

Are you seeking for an advice and a way out or you just felt like ranting? Let me know and I will do it.
yes please I don't mind.. thanks a lot
Re: Sometimes, Love Can Be Complicating. by chocolateme(f): 1:16pm On Feb 02, 2022
SarutobiEky:
because he's got cheddah ba
I don't know what you mean by cheedah but if you are referring to money and wealth, then my dad is 10 times wealthier than him and I have NEVER asked him for 5 Kobo before, as a matter of fact, I don't even remember to ask him for anything. I do two jobs and I pay my bills. I am a very independent person and we learnt that from growing up because our father and mother are business people. I am a very quiet person but I have a little temper issues.

2 Likes

Re: Sometimes, Love Can Be Complicating. by Nobody: 1:19pm On Feb 02, 2022
chocolateme:
yes please I don't mind.. thanks a lot
Dem go soon fukk this one

1 Like

Re: Sometimes, Love Can Be Complicating. by SarutobiEky(m): 1:29pm On Feb 02, 2022
chocolateme:
I don't know what you mean by cheedah but if you are referring to money and wealth, then my dad is 10 times wealthier than him and I have NEVER asked him for 5 Kobo before, as a matter of fact, I don't even remember to ask him for anything. I do two jobs and I pay my bills. I am a very independent person and we learnt that from growing up because our father and mother are business people. I am a very quiet person but I have a little temper issues.
I like you already. Where you at?

1 Like

Re: Sometimes, Love Can Be Complicating. by chocolateme(f): 2:14pm On Feb 02, 2022
Kellzzyy:

Dem go soon fukk this one
everything is not about sex ok, there are more pressing emotional matters than sex. Besides, I have been here on nairaland long enough to know what is going on in these affairs. Just that we need each other once in a while, check my status and see how old I am here. Then go through my topics too thanks.
Re: Sometimes, Love Can Be Complicating. by Nobody: 2:20pm On Feb 02, 2022
chocolateme:
everything is not about sex ok, there are more pressing emotional matters than sex. Besides, I have been here on nairaland long enough to know what is going on in these affairs. Just that we need each other once in a while, check my status and see how old I am here. Then go through my topics too thanks.
Don't whine me young lady. You are looking for release of your tensions, emotional and sexual. That's what you want and you'll get it soon.
Continue, okay?
Re: Sometimes, Love Can Be Complicating. by chocolateme(f): 2:33pm On Feb 02, 2022
Kellzzyy:

Don't whine me young lady. You are looking for release of your tensions, emotional and sexual. That's what you want and you'll get it soon.
Continue, okay?
ok.. hope you are good now..

1 Like

Re: Sometimes, Love Can Be Complicating. by Nobody: 2:50pm On Feb 02, 2022
chocolateme:
ok.. hope you are good now..
Suit yourself. You're not the first cheating Nigerian girl. There are many like you.
Re: Sometimes, Love Can Be Complicating. by CapitalBank: 4:01pm On Feb 02, 2022
Kellzzyy:

But if na your fellow guy post this thing now you for no offer any support oo
Ogbeni... u dream see me for dream ni?
Re: Sometimes, Love Can Be Complicating. by chocolateme(f): 4:51pm On Feb 02, 2022
CapitalBank:
Ogbeni... u dream see me for dream ni?
leave the guy abeg... Nairaland is not for everyone

1 Like

Re: Sometimes, Love Can Be Complicating. by CapitalBank: 12:58am On Feb 03, 2022
chocolateme:
The word "Love" can be very tiring..
When you go beyond loving someone and almost worshipping that person, not because he is rich, wealthy, foots your bill or does anything spectacular but because you just can't stay without loving his personality, stubbornness, kind heart towards the low spirited persons, approach to life, corrections, standing on his right and most importantly his boldness and fearlessness.

OKAY, these are his qualities that you like I presume.

Then he assures you of his dedication, devotions, and commitment.
BUT THEN, he finds it difficult to communicate with you always. You then start feeling hurt, you approach him for an explanation, he keeps assuring you that you guys are good and great. But you feel something is off but can't place it.

Frankly speaking, this is a red flag and a sign that he is not really interested in the relationship as much as you are, thereby leading to a one-sided relationship where one party does most of the work.

It is also a sign that you are more invested in the relationship than him. The one who is more invested gets hurt the most. All those reassuring are just excuses, nothing more.

If someone is not making effort or investing a little effort, then they are not really interested in you.

You then find yourself in a situation where it looks like you are desperate just because you communicate to cover up his lack of communication.
Now you don't even know how to place your feelings anymore but still, you are deeply in love with him.

Exactly. It makes you feel desperate and needy because you want to keep a relationship that they themselves are not interested in.

I had a similar experience not too long ago and like you, she was reassuring me that it is not what I am thinking, that she is busy... BUT she never initiates a convo or chat.

She attended some parties at night within this period ooo. I have no problem with that.

This went on till January this year when she didn't reply to my Happy New Year text/SMS. I had to check up on her on WhatsApp and asked to hope everything is fine. I did that because we hadn't chatted for almost a month prior to that and I was genuinely worried something may have happened to her..

Like I said, if I do not reach out, I don't hear anything from her. So she replied to my WhatsApp message that she saw my SMS, wished me a happy new year in return, and told me she is on transit. Mind you between when I sent that SMS and when I buzzed on WhatsApp was over 4 hours.

That was it for me. She had been doing hers subtly but I went head-on and said since this is how she wants it, I have decided not to sustain a relationship that she has quietly existed from. I told her if no one reaches out to the other and the relationship dies, so be it... I said a lot and towards the end, I told her to delete all my numbers from her phone.

She tried to pacify me and calm me down and at the same time, tried gaslight and guilt trip me lol. That was the last from me sha...

A few weeks after that, she buzzed me (something she hadn't done for months) to check up on her. I responded but didn't grant her audience beyond that. In fact, I deleted that chat the next morning or the same day. I cant remember.

In between all these complaints, she said erm... we can still be gisting. Same gist that she does not initiate? I just told her sure, if she brings the gist to make her know I understand her mind game. It simply means, dude if you reach out to me, I will respond but don't expect me to reach out.

To make the feelings go away has become a very big challenge even though every form of distraction has been applied. It has gotten to the stage where you have decided to stop communicating to know his reaction but two weeks today, he has not communicated nor have you yet check-up each other on social media status.

Don't know what to call this.
Even if you wait for 1 year, he will not reach out because he is not really interested.

Lol, I did this too but slowly. It took time but it worked... What I did was delete ALL her pics, delete everything about her, including our chats...

What I will suggest is, to let him know you know what's up and most importantly, if there is another guy somewhere that is showing interest in you, better give him a chance and stop hoping on this one.

When the signs were becoming obvious, I had to borrow myself sense and gave other ladies access to me and eventually settled with one. The one whom I wasn't even expecting much from has turned out to be much more valuable than the one above, The new girl prays with me and sends me online live prayer programs every morning. A few days ago, I missed one and she told me she prayed for me.

When I traveled home to the East for burial, she kept bugging me to know what's up , she wants to know how my day was going, whether I have eaten, if we had completed the rites, etc.

When someone is genuinely interested in you, it comes effortlessly and without stress. Only stay with someone that wants you in their life and is at least making visible efforts.

The reason you are tied to this current one despite not getting anything meaningful from the relationship is that you have a scarcity mindset.

Have an abundance mindset cos it helps. At a point, I had to tell the other girl that I am dating someone else already when she tried to make it look like I was bugging her, which surprised her lol.

The idea that you can't let go is just mindset. Learn to trick your own mind to favor your life. Our minds can become our prisons when we do not realize this. Deleting everything about him is a starting point to tricking your mind into forgetting him.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

5 Likes

Re: Sometimes, Love Can Be Complicating. by Glamswizard(m): 1:10am On Feb 03, 2022
Empress chocolateme, just take a chill pill . It's just mixed signals. I guess he is just like me , gruff exterior but soft in the heart and. I tend to put up signals like this most times to filter out the unserious ones.
Re: Sometimes, Love Can Be Complicating. by chocolateme(f): 8:44am On Feb 03, 2022
CapitalBank:


OKAY, these are his qualities that you like I presume.



Frankly speaking, this is a red flag and a sign that he is not really interested in the relationship as much as you are, thereby leading to a one-sided relationship where one party does most of the work.

It is also a sign that you are more invested in the relationship than him. The one who is more invested gets hurt the most. All those reassuring are just excuses, nothing more.

If someone is not making effort or investing a little effort, then they are not really interested in you.



Exactly. It makes you feel desperate and needy because you want to keep a relationship that they themselves are not interested in.

I had a similar experience not too long ago and like you, she was reassuring me that it is not what I am thinking, that she is busy... BUT she never initiates a convo or chat.

She attended some parties at night within this period ooo. I have no problem with that.

This went on till January this year when she didn't reply to my Happy New Year text/SMS. I had to check up on her on WhatsApp and asked to hope everything is fine. I did that because we hadn't chatted for almost a month prior to that and I was genuinely worried something may have happened to her..

Like I said, if I do not reach out, I don't hear anything from her. So she replied to my WhatsApp message that she saw my SMS, wished me a happy new year in return, and told me she is on transit. Mind you between when I sent that SMS and when I buzzed on WhatsApp was over 4 hours.

That was it for me. She had been doing hers subtly but I went head-on and said since this is how she wants it, I have decided not to sustain a relationship that she has quietly existed from. I told her if no one reaches out to the other and the relationship dies, so be it... I said a lot and towards the end, I told her to delete all my numbers from her phone.

She tried to pacify me and calm me down and at the same time, tried gaslight and guilt trip me lol. That was the last from me sha...

A few weeks after that, she buzzed me (something she hadn't done for months) to check up on her. I responded but didn't grant her audience beyond that. In fact, I deleted that chat the next morning or the same day. I cant remember.

In between all these complaints, she said erm... we can still be gisting. Same gist that she does not initiate? I just told her sure, if she brings the gist to make her know I understand her mind game. It simply means, dude if you reach out to me, I will respond but don't expect me to reach out.


Even if you wait for 1 year, he will not reach out because he is not really interested.

Lol, I did this too but slowly. It took time but it worked... What I did was delete ALL her pics, delete everything about her, including our chats...

What I will suggest is, to let him know you know what's up and most importantly, if there is another guy somewhere that is showing interest in you, better give him a chance and stop hoping on this one.

When the signs were becoming obvious, I had to borrow myself sense and gave other ladies access to me and eventually settled with one. The one whom I wasn't even expecting much from has turned out to be much more valuable than the one above, The new girl prays with me and sends me online live prayer programs every morning. A few days ago, I missed one and she told me she prayed for me.

When I traveled home to the East for burial, she kept bugging me to know what's up , she wants to know how my day was going, whether I have eaten, if we had completed the rites, etc.

When someone is genuinely interested in you, it comes effortlessly and without stress. Only stay with someone that wants you in their life and is at least making visible efforts.

The reason you are tied to this current one despite not getting anything meaningful from the relationship is that you have a scarcity mindset.

Have an abundance mindset cos it helps. At a point, I had to tell the other girl that I am dating someone else already when she tried to make it look like I was bugging her, which surprised her lol.

The idea that you can't let go is just mindset. Learn to trick your own mind to favor your life. Our minds can become our prisons when we do not realize this. Deleting everything about him is a starting point to tricking your mind into forgetting him.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask.
hmmm... I am very speechless right now.. its as if you know everything I am passing through here. Your experience is exactly a carbon copy to mine. I am scared right now because I have to follow your lead. I can't believe I am going to take this step and end it this way.

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