A close friend of mine is about to marry an Ijaw guy. He doesn't have much going for him yet (New to Yankee, no Kpali), but as always, no condition is permanent... at least this is her hope. She however is doing okay and I guess loves him enough to support him through this claimed-temporary period of his life.

However, Many people recently have been saying that it is a cultural norm for Ijaw men to depend on their wives for their finance and feeding. I have heard this from old Ijaw men. I'm thinking only losers would proudly mention such as a cultural norm

This is the first I have heard of this and I don't think my friend would want to end up with a man in the future who thinks that way, especially when she is already handling so much financially. Can anyone shed more light on this?

What are the chances of an Ijaw man who grew up there, maintaining the status quo of feeding off his wife even after promises of changing the situation after settling.

Is this a true cultural norm amongst the Ijaw?

NO INSULTS please. mature responders only.

Since the guy has no documentation it's very likely he's looking to leech off your friend, this has nothing to do with his tribe.

Ask yourself this - If the guy were financially well off and with his papers, would he consider your friend good enough to marry?

2buffagain:
A close friend of mine is about to marry an Ijaw guy. He doesn't have much going for him yet (New to Yankee, no Kpali), but as always, no condition is permanent... at least this is her hope. She however is doing okay and I guess loves him enough to support him through this claimed-temporary period of his life.

However, Many people recently have been saying that it is a cultural norm for Ijaw men to depend on their wives for their finance and feeding. I have heard this from old Ijaw men. I'm thinking only losers would proudly mention such as a cultural norm

This is the first I have heard of this and I don't think my friend would want to end up with a man in the future who thinks that way, especially when she is already handling so much financially. Can anyone shed more light on this?

What are the chances of an Ijaw man who grew up there, maintaining the status quo of feeding off his wife even after promises of changing the situation after settling.

Is this a true cultural norm amongst the Ijaw?

NO INSULTS please. mature responders only.

Then this will be marriage with burden

What's the need of rushing the marriage

Let her calm down and watch if this guy is the lazy type or the type that wants tradition to take pla e in his life

How can an able man be comfortable being fed by a woman because of one stupid tradition

What if the woman leaves him at a certain period of the marriage because she can't cope won't the man be useless and hopeless at the same time

Holly Gram WTF MAN!

Calming down will solve marry problems. Don't plunge into marriage.

OP, Stop following foolish stereotyping. Ijaws men DO NOT depend on their wives! Infact, it is the opposite. They spend heavily on their wives/children and always want to give them the best!

yes they do, I experienced one

It’s not about the tribe but the person’s personality.

It's TRUE if common opinion counts for you, I'm from Rivers state my town Mbiama is a boundary town with bayelsa. I've heard that countless times.
They say their men can sit at home all day drinking gin confident that his wife will provide him food rather than look for a job.
That's the bitter truth don't mind anyone telling you otherwise we have lazy men everywhere but it's very common there.
Your friend may be getting into a lifetime of regrets

KiNg0G:
yes they do, I experienced one

You have experienced only one and THEY do?

DonBenny77:
It's TRUE if common opinion counts for you, I'm from Rivers state my town Mbiama is a boundary town with bayelsa. I've heard that countless times.
They say their men can sit at home all day drinking gin confident that his wife will provide him food rather than look for a job.
That's the bitter truth don't mind anyone telling you otherwise we have lazy men everywhere but it's very common there.
You friend may be getting into a lifetime of regrets

Urhobo men too... I know this...

DonBenny77:
It's TRUE if common opinion counts for you, I'm from Rivers state my town Mbiama is a boundary town with bayelsa. I've heard that countless times.
They say their men can sit at home all day drinking gin confident that his wife will provide him food rather than look for a job.
That's the bitter truth don't mind anyone telling you otherwise we have lazy men everywhere but it's very common there.
You friend may be getting into a lifetime of regrets

Ogbeni, Relax!

What you saw is proper village life.

After a Village man has gone to set or inspect traps in the mornings, he can decide to use his Afternoon to Drink palmwine and discuss with friends.
The women also do some farming, so that they can sell Garri, plantains, Groundnuts, Ugwu, etc in the market and make their personal money. The frying of the garri or Groundnut is done in the afternoon.

Stop Misleading the OP and others!

What sort of generalization is that, if he doesn't have the means they could as well hold getting married. No sane man would want to give his marital responsibility to his wife, I am ijaw, you shouldn't work with hear say. If she really have the means she should support him a little before getting married if she is desperate of getting married. Only lazy men would allow there wife to take charge of their duties, pls drop that ijaw notion it should be an individual thing.

Vinnie2000:




Ogbeni, Relax!

What you saw is proper village life.

After a Village man has gone to set or inspect traps in the mornings, he can decide to use his Afternoon to Drink palmwine and discuss with friends.
The women also do some farming, so that they can sell Garri, plantains, Groundnuts, Ugwu, etc in the market and make their personal money. The frying of the garri or Groundnut is done in the afternoon.

Stop Misleading the OP and others!

It's ok to defend your people

This your ijaw men claim I'm not sure.
the few ones I know over here are taking good care of their wives

I cannot say for others

DonBenny77:

It's ok to defend your people

Its nothing like Defending here!

No Urban area or City man sits idle at home all day, waiting for his wife to provide.

What u wrote there happens only in Villages/communities!

Depends, my little time in ijaw made me not to respect them, I made friends with indigenes mostly ladies and they all complain one thing, their father always..

Vinnie2000:




Its nothing like Defending here!

No Urban area or City man sits idle at home all day, waiting for his wife to provide.

What u wrote there happens only in Villages/communities!

It happens in their state of mind and psyche.
I have said what I know.
Ok lemme rephrase it for you
It's not seen as an anomaly for a woman to feed an ijaw man. The frequency is very high.

Vinnie2000:




Its nothing like Defending here!

No Urban area or City man sits idle at home all day, waiting for his wife to provide.

What u wrote there happens only in Villages/communities!

And where do some Ijaw men come from? Is it not the same villagers and communities?

2buffagain:


And where do some Ijaw men come from? Is it not the same villagers and communities?

Permit me to come in.
When a person changes environment few things are bound to change.
So I think what his trying to say is ijaw men in the city don't have such mind set
And he's right

ReportCriminals:
urhobo women are hard-working but their men's laziness ehn even dictionary no fit describe am

How many “Hard working urhobo women” are land lady in delta state and how many “lazy urhobo men” have you seen begging to survive

Raspberries:
Urhobo men too... I know this...

How many Urhobo men have you met in your life? You better stop this nonsense stereotype and face the men from your ethnic group.

Raspberries:
Urhobo men too... I know this...

You are a fool