MONITORING DETECTORS

Who are they?
Why do they pester you?
How do you avoid them?

These and many more will be answered with the conversation I had with an old friend on Facebook most recently.

Detector: Hello Viv, congratulations, I am so happy for you.

Me : I read her message and ignored the first day.

Detector: (two days later, she chatted again, making reference to my picture)

Detector : beautiful bride indeed, your husband must be a lucky man.

Me : I just read and ignored her for the second time

Detector continued) Viv, talk to me, is he igbo, is he a Catholic, babe he must be loaded for you to accept him.

Me : At this point, I almost replied to her but again I chose to ignore her antics.

One week later, I posted a picture of my boo and I to appreciate all who came and supported us.

Boom, madam detector surfaced as usual and this time I was so ready to give it to her.

Detector : Vivian, this one you are flaunting your hubby pictures like this stop intimidating us, we know he's fine.

Me : madam , "before nko'' if I don't, na you wan flunt am for me"

Detector : haba Vivian na compliments na she said

Me: sebi you get your own, you either hide him under bed or you flunt him or better still given another person the opportunity to help you appreciate him

Detector : mtchewww Vivian, what kind of insult is this?

Me : you should have thought about it before you started asking me baseless questions.

Me : When was the last time you spoke to me, I called you,yet you ignored my calls and never returned calls, I left you several messages at various occasions, you read my messages and never replied.

Me: I enquired if something was wrong and you never said a word, I took the pain to come visiting and was told you were not home, even when I heard your voice.

Me: now it's my season and you want to be relevant, in a space of seconds you want to know about all that has happened to me and you call yourself my friend.

Me: you go ahead and comment on other people's posts, but choose to ignore mine, pretending like you never saw them and yet you want me to applaud your detecting spirit over my pictures.

Detector : is that enough to reply to me in that manner?

Me: yes, since posting my hubby picture is intimidating you, I advised you to either hide your hubby under the bed or use various channels to showcase him.

Mind you, this is a friend who told me to my face that I don't have the right to post anything about marriage since I wasn't married then and I asked her about priests who aren't married yet they educate us about the principles in marriage.

Detector : started calling me on phone, I again rejected the call, she kept calling and got tired, she sent me a text, I didn't open it, I went ahead and deleted her text and then left her a message on Facebook before I finally blocked the nonsense she wanted to display.

It is rather too funny, how most people play god in our lives just because we gave them the room to turn us around.

Recall the questions I started with, I have the answers now.

Who are they? They are close ally who feel they have access to you at any time and can control your life.

Why do they pester you? They paster because they feel they can get you to do anything for them, they feel you are indebted to them.

How do you avoid them? You can avoid them by creating the lines straight, deleting or blocking them for your own sanity.

It isn't pride or isolation, it is called self worth, that is being able to know what you want, what works for you and how to go about the choices and decisions you make for your own sanity.

Ahudiya speaks


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