Nairalanders, I need your advice on an issue.

I moved to a new environment 3 months ago for an IT programme, so I am currently staying with family friend. The first week I arrived I was trying to help with basic house chores but the husband and wife told me to drop it, that since their kids are around I don’t have a reason to help with the house chores.

Fast forward to now that schools have resumed, the kids barely have time for house chores except on weekends which sometimes leave the dishes unwashed. These chores are always done by the wife every morning while she still have to cook and also prepare to go to her workplace, though she has her business.

Now, I don’t really know how to help because anytime I feel like offering some help I always have the intuition that I will blocked again. This is not who i am, where I am from, despite having grown siblings I still have duties at home, I sweep and cook.

I’m a male, in my very early twenties though I have full beards and fully grown figure, I think that’s why they find it hard to accept my help.

I don’t know, but the wife’s countenance looks a little bit cold these days. I don’t know if she’s being territorial, I just hate this feeling.

CaveAdullam
Pansophist

Guys Abeg I need your advice, all I do is eat, go to my IT placement, come back home, sleep and eat.
I’m feeling like an outcast already

Bro code no:29
Don't start what you can't finish
Your major concern now is how you will be able to leave before your cup is full

olus01:
Bro code no:29
Don't start what you can't finish
Your major concern now is how you will be able to leave before your cup is full

I don’t understand you

Wake up earlier than others and do the chores you can.

Humans are territorial, they always like to handle their things by themselves especially when a stranger is around + the fact that at the moment everyone is suspicious of the other.

When you leave they will judge you by your character + the chores they refused you from doing (they may not tick this box). Just help with what you can and refuse to do nothing, be of best behaviour so that next time maybe by happenchance, they'll accept you again with open hands.

If the man of the house owns a car, you can wake up early and wash the car daily and save him stress + money that he would have spent in a car wash. Or, Clean the furnitures. Or, clean the compound maybe at one day interval (even if other tenants are present. A brother to my dad's friend got favoured through this way. And maybe time and chance can also grant you a favour through this too).

Just make sure you find something and do, better to err on the hardworking side.

Thanks.

Like earlier suggested, if the family owns a car,rise up early and wash it regularly.

Don't over do things. If the wife is comfortable with dish washing and other house chores, allow her to do it.. She won't be able to do it all the time, that's the opportunity for you to do chores.

Regarding food, you can sometimes buy foods or drinks just to replace the about finished one at home, that also, don't over do it

What about the man and his wife's clothes? Who washes them?

Do you earn? No matter how small, when you receive the stipend, try and buy provision for the house no matter how little. Just be consistent in doing it.

If they refuse you to do nothing, relax and enjoy your welcome.

On the conversation, approach the wife and tell her about it. Tell her that's how you were raised and you don't see anything wrong with doing house chores and you are not comfortable not doing anything in the house chores. If she assures you nothing is wrong with that, please relax and enjoy your stay

Drop money, it's that simple.

If she refuse to collect it, then be skillful about it. Buy groceries, refill the generator tank, observe when toothpaste and washing soap is almost finished and buy it. Try not to be around always, so going to the cyber cafe, watching football, going to the gym etc should help.

Handle the masculine stuff, like fetching water, and maintain order. Make yourself so useful that your absence will be felt. If she acts irritated by you, then its because you're more of a liability than an asset. So offset your excesses by making sure what you contribute is higher than what you take.