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Chinese and Asian Jokes - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

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Chinese and Asian Jokes by Nobody: 3:19pm On Jul 04, 2005
"Master Master" Jokes! Halarious!

The following coversation ensued between a kung-fu student and his master on the first day of training  smiley

Master: Chung yi, look sky....whay you see?

Chung yi: master, I see nothing.

The master repeats...

Chung yi: I say...look sky! What you see?

Chung yi: Master, I see nothing

Master, now getting furious...

Master: Chung yi, don't you see white chinese monk beat red ninja?!?!

Chung yi: Ahh master.....now I see! I see.

Master: ...Chung yi... you lie.

Get it?!?


Feel free to share your master master jokes
Re: Chinese and Asian Jokes by Seun(m): 3:28pm On Jul 04, 2005
To tell you the truth, I don't understand the joke at all!
Re: Chinese and Asian Jokes by Nobody: 3:42pm On Jul 04, 2005
that's unfortunate....

There was obviously nothing in the sky.

This joke is better said that written or typed
Re: Chinese and Asian Jokes by Greatpeter(m): 3:50pm On Jul 04, 2005
Sopescotts,
Carry waka joke na joke
I looked at the sky I also saw nothing. Zero plus zero is zero. Abi?
Re: Chinese and Asian Jokes by dayojong(m): 3:09am On Sep 01, 2005
I came across some Asian monks raising up a long pole. They had a long measuring tape handy too. They would raise up the pole, climb over each other with the guy on top holding the tape and they will attempt to get to the top of the pole. Of course they always stumble and fall down in a huge pile...and then they would repeat the process again.
''Hey guys, what are you up to?'' I asked.
''We be try measure the height of pole'' one of dem replied.
''Er...won't it be better to just put the pole on the ground and measure it before raising it up?'' I suggested
''you dummy!!!'' he retorted '' we be want to measure the height of pole...not it's Fugging length!!!'' rolleyes

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Chinese and Asian Jokes by Saintjoe(m): 4:49pm On Sep 03, 2005
Guys am not enjoying all this ur asian jokes. U guys should say smth thats more intresting.................... undecided
Re: Chinese and Asian Jokes by WesleyanA(f): 5:11pm On Sep 03, 2005
Learn to speak Chinese   

Are you harboring a fugitive- Hu Yu Hai Ding (who you hiding)
See me A.S.A.P. - Kum Hia Nao (come here now)
Small Horse - Tai Ni Po Ni (tiny pony)
Your price is too high - No Bai Dam Thing (no buy damn thing)
Did you go to the beach - Wai Yu So Tan (why you so tan)
I bumped into a coffee table - Ai Bang Mai Ni (i bang my knee)
I think you need a facelift - Chin Tu Fat (chin too fat)
It's very dark in here - Wai So Dim? (why so dim)
Has your flight been delayed? - Hao Long Wei Ting? (how long waiting)
That was an unauthorized execution.- Lin Ching (lynching)
I thought you were on a diet - Wai Yu Mun Ching? (why you munching)
This is a tow away zone. - No Pah King (no parking)
You are not very bright - Yu So Dum (you're so dumb)
I got this for free - Ai No Pei (i no pay)
I am not guilty - Wai Hang Mi? (why hang me)
Please, stay a while longer - Wai Go Nao? (why go now)
Our meeting was scheduled for next week - Wai Yu Kum Nao (why you come now)
They have arrived - Hia Dei Kum ( here they come)
Stay out of sight - Lei Lo (lay low)
He's cleaning his automobile - Wa Shing Ka (washing car)
Does this bathroom stink! Hu Flung Dung? ( )
Re: Chinese and Asian Jokes by Saintjoe(m): 8:29pm On Sep 03, 2005
@weleyanA, i think i like this, it cracked me up.
But most of those interpretations are like pidgeon english. grin cheesy
Re: Chinese and Asian Jokes by hotangel2(f): 8:31pm On Sep 03, 2005
hahaha wesley. Is that really true?
Re: Chinese and Asian Jokes by WesleyanA(f): 8:32pm On Sep 03, 2005
that's chinglish (chinese english). hehe.

they have a pidgin language too i guess.

@Hota. i copied it duh!
Re: Chinese and Asian Jokes by hotangel2(f): 8:33pm On Sep 03, 2005
cheesy cheesy cheesy
Re: Chinese and Asian Jokes by Saintjoe(m): 8:55pm On Sep 03, 2005
i thought as much.................. grin
Re: Chinese and Asian Jokes by WesleyanA(f): 11:27pm On Sep 03, 2005
The Chinese Workman   

 A building contracter hires an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Chinaman.
He gathers them all in his office and tells each of them their jobs.
The Englishman to shovel a pile of sand.
The Irishman has to take the sand in the wheelbarrow to the truck.
The Chinaman is in charge of supplies.

The boss comes back two hours later
and he sees the Englishman and the Irishman having a cup of tea.
''So have you done the work then?'' he asks.

The workers both shake their heads
and tell him that the Chinaman didn't give them a shovel or a wheelbarrow.
The boss is infuriated by this and asks the workers if they have seen the Chinaman,
they tell him they thought they saw him going toward the truck.
So the boss sets out towards the truck and just as he is getting close to the truck
the Chinaman jumps out from behind a wall and yells, "SUPPLIES!"
Re: Chinese and Asian Jokes by WesleyanA(f): 11:29pm On Sep 03, 2005
Why are there no amusement parks in China?
Because no one is tall enough to ride the rides!
Re: Chinese and Asian Jokes by dayojong(m): 6:45am On Sep 04, 2005
This Chinese man and his chinese wife moved to Lagos, Nigeria. The wife got pregnant and nine-months later, gave birth to a black boy shocked
The chinese man named the baby...''sum tin wong'' undecided
Re: Chinese and Asian Jokes by hotangel2(f): 6:50am On Sep 04, 2005
heard it before. But i love it. Sum tin is definitely wong. Hahaha grin grin grin cheesy cheesy
Re: Chinese and Asian Jokes by Saintjoe(m): 7:29pm On Sep 04, 2005
@dayojong i like that its funny grin grin grin
Re: Chinese and Asian Jokes by bashiru522: 3:20am On Nov 10, 2005
[/color]what did the
[color=Black]
asian boy
[/color]say to his mom
[color=#990000]
when he had [/color] diarea?
[b][/b][color=#550000]
MOMMY I'M MELTING tongue
Re: Chinese and Asian Jokes by Nobody: 3:22pm On Nov 10, 2005
hahaha funny one,bashiru cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy
Re: Chinese and Asian Jokes by Nobody: 3:28pm On Nov 10, 2005
my asian jokes will be on post soon

And for those of you who remember the famous
"I didn't inhale" comes the now soon to be famous
#1 excuse: "I didn't insert"
Re: Chinese and Asian Jokes by kessie(f): 3:36pm On Nov 10, 2005
undecidedi'm not so sure i get d thrill in dat joke
Re: Chinese and Asian Jokes by Nobody: 4:05pm On Nov 10, 2005
And for those of you who remember the famous
"I didn't inhale" comes the now soon to be famous
#1 excuse: "I didn't insert"
Re: Chinese and Asian Jokes by Saintjoe(m): 6:23pm On Jan 09, 2006
More guys!!
Re: Chinese and Asian Jokes by christyne(f): 3:35pm On Jan 11, 2006
lol more pls
Re: Chinese and Asian Jokes by jackson007(m): 7:36pm On Jan 11, 2006
[color=#990000][/color]

Re: Chinese and Asian Jokes by IBBFan(m): 10:54pm On Feb 18, 2006
A chinese student was involved in a fight and got beaten. He then ran to his master;

Student: Master, Master, dem beat me
Master: Dem beat you?
Student: Yes, Master
Master: Take me to the people wen beat you

The student took the master to the people who beat him and there they were, some GIGANTIC fellows.

Student: Master, see the people wen beat me
Master: This people beat you?
Student: Yes, Master
Master: Osallobua no go let you put me for wahala!
Re: Chinese and Asian Jokes by beyunce(f): 9:45pm On Mar 28, 2006
ONE CHINESE PERSON WALKS INTO A BAR IN AMERICA LATE ONE NIGHT AND HE SAW STEVEN SPIELBERG. AS HE WAS A GREAT FAN OF HIS MOVIES, HE RUSHES OVER TO HIM, AND ASKS FOR HIS AUTOGRAPH. INSTEAD, SPIELBERG GIVES HIM A SLAP AND SAYS, "YOU CHINESE PEOPLE BOMBED OUR PEARL HARBOR, GET OUT OF HERE”. THE ASTONISHED CHINESE MAN REPLIED, "IT WAS NOT THE CHINESE WHO BOMBED YOUR PEARL HARBOR, IT WAS THE JAPANESE". "CHINESE, JAPANESE, TAIWANESE, YOU'RE ALL THE SAME," REPLIED SPIELBERG. IN RETURN, THE CHINESE GIVES SPIELBERG A SLAP AND SAYS, "YOU SANK THE TITANIC; MY FOREFATHERS WERE ON THAT SHIP”. SHOCKED, SPIELBERG REPLIES, "IT WAS THE ICEBERG THAT SANK THE SHIP, NOT ME". THE CHINESE REPLIES, "ICEBERG, SPIELBERG, CARLSBERG, YOU'RE ALL THE SAME
Re: Chinese and Asian Jokes by Longesson(m): 10:12am On Mar 29, 2006
LAST SCENE IN A CHINESE MOVIE

Actor meets Boss on the street, (ge, gen)
Main Actorsaduse your best chinese accent and remember ur voice has to continue moving after the dialogue) U kill my master when film start. If I kill you then, film for don end. Now I revenge,

(They start fighting, )
Re: Chinese and Asian Jokes by spikelord(m): 11:14am On Mar 29, 2006
Still laughing at the spielberg one
Re: Chinese and Asian Jokes by Christino(m): 5:35pm On Sep 23, 2006
Am Laph ing grin
Re: Chinese and Asian Jokes by tjtj1(m): 2:44am On Dec 27, 2007
Lol take it easy. my grandma was chinese
Re: Chinese and Asian Jokes by lanresco15(m): 6:19pm On Jan 27, 2009
Quite Interesting, Spielberg must b a bad man, hahahahaha grin

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