This is an issue that I want my brothers and sisters to enlighten me about.
Case Study: A muslim brother proposes to a muslim sister. She says Yes. However, she later got to find out that the brother had pre-marital sex with some of his exs. She terms the brother an 'adulterer' even though the brother stopped since. She quoted a verse in the Quran which says Adulterer for Adulteress. My question to brothers and sisters here is this: Who is defined as an adulterer in this verse? Should the brother who had a bad past know fully that he doesnt deserve a 'non-adulterous' believing woman?

[24:3] The fornicator shall not marry any but a fornicatress or idolatress, and (as for) the fornicatress, none shall marry her but a fornicator or an idolater; and it is forbidden to the believers.


English Quranic Commentary of Ayatollah Agha Mehdi Pooya on Verse 3 Chapter 24:

[Pooya/Ali Commentary 24:3]
Islam prescribes a healthy and orderly sex life, for men and for women, at all times-before marriage, during marriage and after the dissolution of marriage-in order to maintain a respectable society. Those guilty of adultery or fornication are shut out of the marriage circle of chaste men and women so that the gross immoral contamination should not spread among the healthy and normal members of the society.


Aqa Mahdi Puya says:


This verse refers to the general trend and tendency of those men and women who can be described as habitual offenders.


Hurrima implies that the believers dislike and detest such people.


Nikah means wedlock as well as cohabitation.


It is not a legislative ordinance, therefore there is no abrogation.

http://quran.al-islam.org/

ola_pluto:

This is an issue that I want my brothers and sisters to enlighten me about.
Case Study: A muslim brother proposes to a muslim sister. She says Yes. However, she later got to find out that the brother had pre-marital sex with some of his exs. She terms the brother an 'adulterer' even though the brother stopped since. She quoted a verse in the Quran which says Adulterer for Adulteress. My question to brothers and sisters here is this: Who is defined as an adulterer in this verse? Should the brother who had a bad past know fully that he doesnt deserve a 'non-adulterous' believing woman?

The brother[b] WAS [/b]fornicating. Now he has repented and is no longer a fornicator. So the sister has no justification in that area not to accept the proposal, except of course, if there are other reasons.

If the scenario you describe is real, sister yen aa pe nbe.

in d fist place, who is an adulter & adulteress & why do pple just read things dogmanticly without applying sense, haba

zayhal:

The brother[b] WAS [/b]fornicating. Now he has repented and is no longer a fornicator. So the sister has no justification in that area not to accept the proposal, except of course, if there are other reasons.

If the scenario you describe is real, sister yen aa pe nbe.

@bolded, interesting submission. I think the sister sinned with her judgemental expression. It is okay for her to have a standard for the man she wants as her husband (remember this man will possess her being- no small matter). However, she would have created some degree of hatred in the brother's heart (no matter how sincere he is or how good a Muslim he has become). On the extreme side, the man may even begin to hate Muslim women or the religion all together.

Islamic leaders have to be patient when they are preaching; breakdown the issues, put them in proper perspective so that people don't misapply the various rules that guide our lives as Muslims.

Also, each one of us has to know that No Muslim no matter how pious is perfect and we should stop pretending or dealing with people in such a manner.

For example, if you insult a fellow Muslim- he will be hurt even if he pretends as if nothing has happened and irrespective of what the Quran and hadith says about forgiving other people.

@Zayhal, I think you see some of things we were talking about elsewhere on this thread.

LagosShia:

[24:3] The fornicator shall not marry any but a fornicatress or idolatress, and (as for) the fornicatress, none shall marry her but a fornicator or an idolater; and it is forbidden to the believers.


English Quranic Commentary of Ayatollah Agha Mehdi Pooya on Verse 3 Chapter 24:

what stu.pid things. thank Gods I am not muslim.

maclatunji:

@bolded, interesting submission. I think the sister sinned with her judgemental expression. [/b]It is okay for her to have a standard for the man she wants as her husband (remember this man will possess her being- no small matter). However, she would have created some degree of hatred in the brother's heart (no matter how sincere he is or how good a Muslim he has become). On the extreme side, [b]the man may even begin to hate Muslim women or the religion all together.

This sounds too harsh against the woman.

She has every right to set a standard for her life and the father of her children.  (It is her choice; she has to live her life, just like we all live ours the way we choose.) If a man said he did not want a "fornicator" for a wife, not too many will say "well, she used to sin, but no more"? It's his choice.

And if the man starts "hating Muslim women or the religion," he can go pick amongst the numerous other religions out there.

There is no compulsion in Islam.

Did you read my post properly? We are saying the same thing, I only mean she should have told him politely that she cannot marry him instead of trying to use the verse in that context. It is in bad taste. We are not fighting a battle of gender here. Relax!

I'm not fighting a gender war either, trust me on that. 

I only object to blaming the woman or using her decision/answer as an excuse for the man or anyone's future behaviour.  Each person is responsible for himself.  That is all I meant, and have, to say on the matter. 

Salaam.

You still haven't read my post properly. Okay, are you saying that quoting the verse to the brother as the basis of breaking-up with him was okay in this context?