Good Morning

This is my first experience with a live-in househelp so I need good advise from experienced people.

So last year January I hired a part-time house help to assist me with chores only in the evening and Saturdays. As at that time she was in SS3, squatting with a tailor whom she was learning from and needed to work to take care of her school bills and feeding. She is an orphan but she has an Elder sister whom the tailor and her guarantors dislikes because she is a religious fanatics who see everything from spiritual angle and was always taking her for deliverance service for days without informing the Tailor and sometimes makes the girl miss school classes because of the church program. I was also told that her sister collects all the money from the girl.

Mid-last year, I got another job in Portharcourt which required me to relocate from Lagos with my kids and without my husband . Since I would need support, I decided to go with her instead of getting another maid. I discussed with her Sister and guarantors that I would further her education (part-time study) if she is allowed to go with me to PH because I really liked her character, they agreed.

She sat for WAEC but failed a subject required to be admitted for a choice course at Uniport. I asked her if she would go for another course instead and she told me she would rather stay for another year and resit for another exam, this time GCE to get her complete papers. So I registered her for tutorials which she attends whenever I go work.

Then one day in February, I got back from work and she told me she met a random person on the road who introduced her to a job. I discouraged her and asked her if she needed money or what was her problem as I expected her to focus on schooling.

We travelled to Lagos for Easter and when we returned she approached me again about the job. This got me really scared. I asked her again if it was because of money and she told me no.
I am really worried about my home and have lost trust in her.

How can she meet a random person on the road who will be disturbing her about the job(according to her) and you really want to go. She wants to have another boss under my roof or is it that the work I give her is not enough.

Please I need advise to what to do as I plan to collect my house keys from her and never allow her to be alone in the house and alone with my kids.

Am I just being unnecessary worried of nothing?

Please share your advise from your experience.

Aside this, she is a good girl but very secretive. She can enter into a cave to pick any call just so that I will never hear any of her phone conversation and she calls alot.

Please note that I do not maltreat her. She has a room to herself with A.C. I take her along on family outings and I sew same materials for her so thay she doesn't look odd. I buy her clothes and shoes occasionally as well and never owe her salary.


Update
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Lo and behold I came back from work today and this girl told me she wants to go and buy recharge card.

When she didn't return after an 1 hr, I knew something had happened.

I checked her room and realised that she had packed all her luggages from my house while I was at work.

To cut the long story short, her brother informed me that she told him she is with her friend doing multilevel marketing which is the kind of job she had been telling me all along. So she has finally gone to live with the person.

I reported the case to police tonight and also informed her family and guarantors

She can't served two masters at a time, either you and you alone or she leave your apartment totally.




That random person might be a person of interest to her (boyfriend), and is a red flag.

You've grown fond of her and you're afraid she'll pay less attention to you and your home if she takes the job. Talk to her about it and try convincing her to prepare more for school. You're going to have to let her go if she insists on taking this job.

Ask her to choose between her current job (housemaid) and the proposed new job.
If she chooses the new job, return her to her people. That is an affront, doing business on top of business.

shullygirl:
Good Morning

This is my first experience with a live-in househelp so I need good advise from experienced people.

So last year January I hired a part-time house help to assist me with chores only in the evening and Saturdays. As at that time she was in SS3, squatting with a tailor whom she was learning from and needed to work to take care of her school bills and feeding. She is an orphan but she has an Elder sister whom the tailor and her guarantors dislikes because she is a religious fanatics who see everything from spiritual angle and was always taking her for deliverance service for days without informing the Tailor and sometimes makes the girl miss school classes because of the church program. I was also told that her sister collects all the money from the girl.

Mid-last year, I got another job in Portharcourt which required me to relocate from Lagos with my kids and without my husband . Since I would need support, I decided to go with her instead of getting another maid. I discussed with her Sister and guarantors that I would further her education (part-time study) if she is allowed to go with me to PH because I really liked her character, they agreed.

She sat for WAEC but failed a subject required to be admitted for a choice course at Uniport. I asked her if she would go for another course instead and she told me she would rather stay for another year and resit for another exam, this time GCE to get her complete papers. So I registered her for tutorials which she attends whenever I go work.

Then one day in February, I got back from work and she told me she met a random person on the road who introduced her to a job. I discouraged her and asked her if she needed money or what was her problem as I expected her to focus on schooling.

We travelled to Lagos for Easter and when we returned she approached me again about the job. This got me really scared. I asked her again if it was because of money and she told me no.
I am really worried about my home and have lost trust in her.

How can she meet a random person on the road who will be disturbing her about the job(according to her) and you really want to go. She wants to have another boss under my roof or is it that the work I give her is not enough.

Please I need advise to what to do as I plan to collect my house keys from her and never allow her to be alone in the house and alone with my kids.

Am I just being unnecessary worried of nothing?

Please share your advise from your experience.

Aside this, she is a good girl but very secretive. She can enter into a cave to pick any call just so that I will never hear any of her phone conversation and she calls alot.

Please note that I do not maltreat her. She has a room to herself with A.C. I take her along on family outings and I sew same materials for her so thay she doesn't look odd. I buy her clothes and shoes occasionally as well and never owe her salary.

her woman nature just dey emanate so. Just liking it to a girl who is bn pampered by her man but longthroat would allow her to set off her eyes on the random guys outside.

Be kiafuuul

Never ever ignore or suppress you instincts and gut feelings.

Just shine your eyes.

It'd be best to take that young girl back to wherever you took her from and be free from her responsibility.

She's courting and will bring you a truck load of trouble in no time.

Never undermine the power of your intuition...if it doesnt feel right, then it's not.

Biko free the girl entirely from your life. Let her go and do as she pleases with her life. But ensure you let her people know your contract has ended.Smart people avoid wahala biko.

Let her go simple.

Is your home a charity organisation?

Help those who really want help and leave them when they have grown wings.

She wants to go into prostitution. You should return her to where you got her from, if not, you will soon be arrested when she is sold as sex slave to Libyan human traffickers.

Return her to her family now

Corporate2020:
She wants to go into prostitution. You should return her to where you got her from, if not, you will soon be arrested when she is sold as sex slave to Libyan human traffickers.

Return her to her family now

This is scary

Sorry to say ma, the problem started when you dont let her realise she is working with you for money.

Send her back to her people before she run away with that random person.

Return her back to her sister, whatever she does with her life from there henceforth will be none of your business.

The only problem you had was loving her as your own daughter. That's why she was able to look at you in the face and tell you that she wants to look for a job given to her by a stranger.

My advice would be for you to send her back to her sister. With the high rate of ritual killing, kidnapping, ràpe...etc, if anything happens to her, you would be the first person to be arrested cos she was left under your care.

Mindlog:
Return her back to her sister, whatever she does with her life from there henceforth will be none of your business.

Perfect answer

cenaman:
She can't served two masters at a time, either you and you alone or she leave your apartment totally.




That random person might be a person of interest to her (boyfriend), and is a red flag.

Hmm...thank you

wis3:
You've grown fond of her and you're afraid she'll pay less attention to you and your home if she takes the job. Talk to her about it and try convincing her to prepare more for school. You're going to have to let her go if she insists on taking this job.

Exactly. She told me she is no longer interested but what if she does while am away pretending she has gone for tutorials.

MEGA4BILLION:
Ask her to choose between her current job (housemaid) and the proposed new job.
If she chooses the new job, return her to her people. That is an affront, doing business on top of business.

Thank you.

Nature is just doing what ought to be done which is getting attracted to the opposite gender, the job might be true and it could also be a means to other hidden agenda.


Sit her down and have a well detailed discussion with her letting her know she came to work with you and let her know her job with you is full time with all the benefits that comes with it, if she chooses the other job every benefit will have to stop which includes living with you. You will also have to take her back to her sister to let them know contract has been terminated, then she can go back on her own to Portharcourt to start the job. Doing this will help you to be protected from whatever complications that might arise either against your household or on her personally which you could be liable for if she still stays with you.

Exception is that, she tells you the truth if she wants to date the guy and you can advice her while also letting her people know of her new found love as this cannot be stopped, unless you want to complicate things for yourself, let her be on that and also watch out for your home.

cayorday89:
Nature is just doing what ought to be done which is getting attracted to the opposite gender, the job might be true and it could also be a means to other hidden agenda.


Sit her down and have a well detailed discussion with her letting her know she came to work with you and let her know her job with you is full time with all the benefits that comes with it, if she chooses the other job every benefit will have to stop which includes living with you. You will also have to take her back to her sister to let them know contract has been terminated, then she can go back on her own to Portharcourt to start the job. Doing this will help you to be protected from whatever complications that might arise either against your household or on her personally which you could be liable for if she still stays with you.

Exception is that, she tells you the truth if she wants to date the guy and you can advice her while also letting her people know of her new found love as this cannot be stopped, unless you want to complicate things for yourself, let her be on that and also watch out for your home.

Thanks alot. Like I said she is secretive, I have discussed this with her and she told me she wants to go to school.

This is the second time she is discussing with me and she denies having any boyfriend even though I see so many love messages in her phone.

Well I will discuss this with her Sister to further confirm from her if she wants to go to school or work.

Please don't you ever take your intuition for granted. Once you feel something is not right,then its definitely not. Don't wait until you get caught up in the whole situation. Take her back for your own peace of mind. Talking from experience.

shullygirl:


Thanks alot. Like I said she is secretive, I have discussed this with her and she told me she wants to go to school.

This is the second time she is discussing with me and she denies having any boyfriend even though I see so many love messages in her phone.

Well I will discuss this with her Sister to further confirm from her if she wants to go to school or work.

Work or school, it is no longer safe to have her in your house.

In addition to all the reasonable comments above, don't call her sister to inform her on the recent development, take the girl back to Lagos on a pretence of a visit, don't tell her you are returning her to her sister, when you get there, tell everyone concerned that she won't follow you back to PH, be firm and adamant about it because they will beg and beg you to reconsider, don't agree, because that girl will promise everyone she will not seek for another job just so she can return to PH, and when that happens, she will run away, giving you problem you did not bargain for, be wise in situations like this, especially when it involves people you are not related to

This is why I decided never to have any maid abi house help, I like to avoid problems because I have no patience for nonsense, I take care of my home by myself as best as I can.

she don see man. dont allow her and give her more job she been too free. and she wants to leave that house more offen.

Ladies and Gentlemen,
Lo and behold I came back from work today and this girl told me she wants to go and buy recharge card.

When she didn't return after an 1 hr, I knew something had happened.

I checked her room and realised that she had packed all her luggages from my house while I was at work.

To cut the long story short, her brother informed me that she told him she is with her friend doing multilevel marketing which is the kind of job she had been telling me all along. So she has finally gone to live with the person.

I reported the case to police tonight and also informed her family and guarantors.

shullygirl:
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Lo and behold I came back from work today and this girl told me she wants to go and buy recharge card.

When she didn't return after an 1 hr, I knew something had happened.

I checked her room and realised that she had packed all her luggages from my house while I was at work.

To cut the long story short, her brother informed me that she told him she is with her friend doing multilevel marketing which is the kind of job she had been telling me all along. So she has finally gone to live with the person.

I reported the case to police tonight and also informed her family and guarantors.

Bringing a maid to PH is not easy. They always tear eye and follow men and money. Thank God she told her brother and they didn't accuse you of using her for rituals.

Contact me for your market runs in Portharcourt. Market price at your doorstep

yemmit90:
Sorry to say ma, the problem started when you dont let her realise she is working with you for money.

Send her back to her people before she run away with that random person.

This has happened

shullygirl:
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Lo and behold I came back from work today and this girl told me she wants to go and buy recharge card.

When she didn't return after an 1 hr, I knew something had happened.

I checked her room and realised that she had packed all her luggages from my house while I was at work.

To cut the long story short, her brother informed me that she told him she is with her friend doing multilevel marketing which is the kind of job she had been telling me all along. So she has finally gone to live with the person.

I reported the case to police tonight and also informed her family and guarantors.

Some people will say that nairaland members are bad advisors. I'm really impressed with the comments on this thread. Everyone seems to agree to the same thing and the advices are in order.

It didn't take long before it manifested. And the take aways are:

~ Follow your instinct. If it tells you something isn't right, then it definitely isn't right.

~ Return the girl before she runs away, sadly she ran away before you could.

~ Being too nice to people doesn't stop them from seeking comfort elsewhere. Girls are more notorious for this kind of behavior.

Nairaland is a place you get uncoated advice from people who stand to gain nothing from the outcome of your decision.

shullygirl:
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Lo and behold I came back from work today and this girl told me she wants to go and buy recharge card.

When she didn't return after an 1 hr, I knew something had happened.

I checked her room and realised that she had packed all her luggages from my house while I was at work.

To cut the long story short, her brother informed me that she told him she is with her friend doing multilevel marketing which is the kind of job she had been telling me all along. So she has finally gone to live with the person.

I reported the case to police tonight and also informed her family and guarantors.

you have done your part, let nature deal with her. What so many people are looking for is what she is throwing away. Throwing away a clear path to education for multi marketing.

I hope PH sun is not too hot because she will be back and please don't take her back.

I hv to return her back to her people biko.
The days are evil my dear sister, a lot are happening. We wey dey for field no waiting dey sup, she just met a random stranger and she has decided to go along with d stranger just like that. Biko discard her to avoid coming on nairaland with another story that torches d heart.
A random stranger could be a kidnapper
A random stranger could be a ritualist
A random person could be into child trafficking. U hv kids, d stranger traffic your kids to another location to those looking for kids to adopt pl


Biko discard her

Madam, I'll advise that you have a discussion with your husband and change house. If possible, change your children's school. I might sound too serious but I'm talking from experience. Not to put fear in your mind but the heart of man is desperately wicked. This girl knows every of your movement, so you should shield your family activities. God bless you.

If you know what is good for you, you’ll take her back to her sister. The minute she told you that a stranger offered her a job was the day you should have made arrangements to TAKE HER BACK TO HER SISTER. If you allow her to go and take that job from that stranger; anything that happens to her during that period you’ll be held liable and responsible. Don't take chances with your family's well-being and hope you have alerted your husband to this current development. DON’T SAY YOU WEREN’T WARNED. A WORD IS ENOUGH FOR THE WISE. Enough said.