I hate this feeling , like a weight upon my heart dragging me into an dark and suffocating abyss .

I don't know why I feel this way, no obvious triggers yet I can't smile.


*sigh

Go puff some weed you will be happy

A small vacation is what u need. Some days re like that. To be a man no be moi moi

Long Post Alert!!!

Let me guess, it makes your heart beat increase sometimes as if you just received some sad news or you're about to enter for an exam you didn't prepare for. It makes you lose interest in things that used to excit you, and you can hardly concentrate when you're working or reading. It makes you procrastinate while your list of pending tasks keeps growing. It makes you think of things you did in the past and how you could have done better. It makes you wary of the future and makes you think of the different ways things could go wrong. You don't feel the need to get out of bed. Sometimes, you feel like you need to explain yourself or your past actions to someone for validation or emotional support. In summary, you're just EXTREMELY sad up to the point of tears, and yet you can't pinpoint the main reason. It's just as if your heart is going pump out of your chest.

If these things describe you, you're probably susceptible to anxiety/depression. Sometimes, it's hereditary, but most times, it's caused by environmental factors, medication or even a change in diet. Did you get a new job? Did you move to a new state or country? Did you just get married? Any major change in your life at the moment? Break-up? Death? It's also caused by the absence of sunlight. This is why there's seasonal depression in the West during winter. And if it's hereditary, you'd still need to know your triggers and avoid them. It could be temporary (a few days) and it goes away when you go to a new place or do something exciting with friends. That's normal. But if it goes beyond that, then you need to take some steps to keep it in check.

Identifying it and knowing you're susceptible to it is a major step towards making sure it doesn't get to the advanced stage. Nigerians don't think of mental health as something worth taking care of. They take seeing shrinks as a sign of weakness and they believe depression is a white man's thing. But know that you're neither alone nor different. Many are in your shoes and there are proven steps to combat it. Do your part. Eat well, sleep well, exercise regularly and get enough sunlight everyday. These things work like magic especially the last two (exercise and sunlight). Also, find someone you can talk to. You'll sound incoherent when telling why you're sad. Don't stop talking. Just be saying it as it comes to your mind. It does wonders to the heart. In West, we have artificial sunlight used indoors (same radiation as the natural one) and we also have paid listeners for such cases. Not sure if you have those where you are.

If these things don't work for you, see a shrink. Ain't no shame in taking care of your health.