Hello Fam. I need your advice/opinions on the following situations involving two friends of mine as well as myself. It may be a long read but I apologize in advance and urge you to read through and offer genuine advice.

BACKSTORY:

We are three friends of about the same age range who had agreed to focus and work diligently/together on a business opportunity without the distractions of a serious relationship in order to achieve a certain level of financial stability as we had calculated.

However the lockdowns came, the opportunity was lost so we became disillusioned and went out separate ways.

FRIEND 1:

Relocated to the east where his uncle offered him a job in his company and he was largely cut off from us living his life. The dire insecurity and persistent sit-at-homes made him to begin to consider relocating abroad which he communicated to us and which we encouraged. However, his attempts flopped multiple times and I assumed that he gave up and under pressure from family decided to date and perform marital rites with his lady.

The issue now is that one of his bids to go abroad has come through. In the planning for it, part of the options of making it stick is to marry a citizen of the country to guarantee residency and fast track citizenship.

The marriage is just a month old with plans for court/church wedding in December. Should he annul the marriage by asking for his bride price/dowry back or.....what should he do?


FRIEND 2:

Has a lady whom he has known from the teenage years but from afar. Same church, same area etc, but no interactions at all. He is more of an introvert, so mostly to/by himself but he says he coincidentally reconnected with her on a WhatsApp group that they both belonged to.

She was in another state and fresh from a breakup but relocated back to Lagos for a job. She basically pressured him and he gave in and started a relationship with her against my advice. He said she was in a bad place mentally and had lost her self esteem, so he would try and help her build it back up.

She has a stream of personal and family problems which she would always talk about. She doesn't directly ask him to do anything persay but with the constant talk, he feels pressured to do something and he does.

He has done a lot in the span of three months and now we both feel like it is time to get back to focus as she is somewhat balanced now. That would cut off the financial, emotional and time drain that being in a relationship with her came with.

The thing is he has brought it up with her subtly several times and she would push it off/change the topic. The one time she addressed it, she said something along the lines of "he should allow her to enjoy the relationship at least to the end of the year as it was the best relationship she had ever had".

He is tired and would like to just end the whole thing but feels guilty and is hesitant especially due to an unfolding situation with her dad which he has refused to share with me. Advice?


ME:

I have a female friend who I have known for a few years. We met on the job at a company on the same team before she resigned and left to try to do her own thing. I also resigned a couple of months after her.

While on the job, she would always want to be with me. When it time to go and eat, drag me when it was time to go home etc Always sending mixed signals. She would tell me about how a colleague made a pass at her or how some guy tried to touch her inappropriately and how she hates that. Then she would at different times, twerk towards my groin, intentionally breast-bump me or touch me in a suggestive manner.


She was single at the time and while taking about relationship one time, I asked her to be my girlfriend and she declined because according to her, she was seeking marriage and not just to be in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship also because we are not really compatible, which I agree with.


After we had both quit the job, our friendship continued. We'd hangout and even on one or two occasions spend the night at each other's house without anything happening. The jury is out on whether I didn't act boldly enough to bag a shag or whether she was not just feeling me like that. It was not for lack of an attempt on my part but I will not be going on any blog for committing attempted rape.

Time went and we grew slightly apart but we kept in touch enough for me to know that she developed depression as well as a bad habit, to deal with it. I tried to help but at some point when she started a relationship with a dude, I backed out again till she started reaching out to me and accusing me of forgetting her etc.

Turns out that they have broken up. The reason, I do not know but the entire vibe right now seems crazy like she wants to get with me, with her even coming to visit me at my office uninformed. Unfortunately, I was not on seat when she came but colleagues have been giving me the thumbs up.

I would prefer to stay on my lane and focus on finishing the year as strong as I can but I am really tempted to get into a situationship with her because I won't lie, she is a fine specimen of female. My head and heart say "No", but my body is nodding "Yes" like a mofo.

What to do!....

Parks Benz

Among your three friends life happens, like I also got some gees whom if I was told there was ever a time we won't be doing things together I would have disagreed, but right now everyone is solely focused on developing himself but when we converged after a long period of time, we ball like never before...

The 3 of you has something synonymous going on in your respective life, yea, the women will come around no matter how hard you decide to avoid them, some might come as a distraction while others might come as a support, but you can never tell which one of them has genuine intentions because people will only love you when it's beneficial...

Friend 1 should find a way and communicate with the family of his bride to be, his case is very critical since all protocols has duly been observed, the kinda heartbreak he's about to serve has only been experienced by very very few people in the world my prayers are with that lady because right now it's either japa or marriage.

Friend 2: can be categorised as the nice guys ladies normally use to get up the ladder, as you can see, he's been manipulated into staying in that relationship against his wish, she even assured him to hang on a little bit while she enjoys the ship because the r/ship is solely beneficial to her, he should ditch that lady asap, she's there for the moment...

Friend 3 : One thing with women is that they hate losing at both ends, they can be dating 2 guys, then when one breaks up with her, they tends to focus there entire attention on the second guy while looking for another guy to replace the one that left, according to them, they don't wanna put all eggs in one basket, it may seem as though you are the back up plan until she gets another, women gets lonely when they have no man to call there own, she's just using you to kill boredom, now it's left for you to turn things in your favour, by banging that pussy aggressively with no strings attached, you've got this champ