the moon has refused to sleep
he has become a watchman
his arm's length torch illuminating
my path home on this cold night

the lake has refused to sit still
dancing to the lullabies of
the wind whistling that
belly-aching howls

Jeffery has refused to think
my head carries a load
tailor-made for my shoulders
and brain is lost in my yoked neck

her legs have refused to close
but I am just another man
who will sit by her muddy bank
painting her with the glass from my eyes

the night has refused to cave in to light
to the moon, the sun sold its birthright
I'm but a man who knows only nights
at the feet of the dancer lies my peace


© Jigs Lionheart

JigsawKillah:

the moon has refused to sleep
he has become a watchman
his arm's length torch illuminating
my path home on this cold night

the lake has refused to sit still
dancing to the lullabies of
the wind whistling that
belly-aching howls

Jeffery has refused to think
my head carries a load
tailor-made for my shoulders
and brain is lost in my yoked neck

her legs have refused to close
but I am just another man
who will sit by her muddy bank
painting her with the glass from my eyes

the night has refused to cave in to light
to the moon, the sun sold its birthright
I'm but a man who knows only nights
at the feet of the dancer lies my peace

© Jigs Lionheart

Nice one Jigs. Did you decide not to use punctuation on purpose?

Also, I thought you were going to write each of the lines in iambic tetrameter or pentameter. The syllables in each line are irregular. Some lines have like 8 syllables, some 9 and some even 11 syllables. It would have been cool to follow a particular meter structure.

Also, in your first stanza, line 2 and 3. You referred to the Moon as 'he' and 'his' rather than 'it'. I'm still trying to beat my head around the literary device both lines portray, whether it is zoomorphism or anthropomorphism. Heck it's confusing. Lol.

I also noticed you started every line in the poem with small letters apart from line 9 and 19. Did you do that on purpose? All the same, this is one heck of a poem. Cheers.

ShaqFu:
Nice one Jigs. Did you decide not to use punctuation on purpose?

Also, I thought you were going to write each of the lines in iambic tetrameter or pentameter. The syllables in each line are irregular. Some lines have like 8 syllables, some 9 and some even 11 syllables. It would have been cool to follow a particular meter structure.

Also, in your first stanza, line 2 and 3. You referred to the Moon as 'he' and 'his' rather than 'it'. I'm still trying to beat my head around the literary device both lines portray, whether it is zoomorphism or anthropomorphism. Heck it's confusing. Lol.

I also noticed you started every line in the poem with small letters apart from line 9 and 19. Did you do that on purpose? All the same, this is one heck of a poem. Cheers.

Good morning, Shaq.

The small letters, lack of punctuation, and its formlessness were all intentional. The pronouns used for the moon, was in relation to it being a watchman. Do you think its default pronoun should've been retained?

JigsawKillah:

Good morning, Shaq.

The small letters, lack of punctuation, and its formlessness were all intentional. The pronouns used for the moon, was in relation to it being a watchman. Do you think its default pronoun should've been retained?

Morning Jigs.

Yeah I believe you should have used the default pronoun. It still gives it the same meaning as you using he instead of it.

Modified. You still have your poetic licence so you may as well do as you please.

ShaqFu:
Morning Jigs.

Yeah I believe you should have used the default pronoun. It still gives it the same meaning as you using he instead of it.

Modified. You still have your poetic licence so you may as well do as you please.

Thank you, Shaq.

I don't know when I zeroed my mind on forms. I can't remember a time I wanted to write anything in a certain form. But you could say that it's the challenge of staying within tight constraints and I'd tell you something about rebelliousness. Lol

JigsawKillah:

Thank you, Shaq.

I don't know when I zeroed my mind on forms. I can't remember a time I wanted to write anything in a certain form. But you could say that it's the challenge of staying within tight constraints and I'd tell you something about rebelliousness. Lol