White man to a black man:
"You look like under the bed. When God said 'let there be light', where you out of town?"

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Her: Be careful, this is my first time.
Him: What? Am I an orphan?

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Crippled boy: My classmates bully me a lot and I feel bad about it.
Me: You know, sometimes you gotta stand up for yourself.

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Doctor: So, you will have to take these pills each per day for the rest of your life.
Patient: But there are only three pills.
Doctor: Exactly!

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Got a street girl pregnant so she can have something in her stomach.

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She didn't want anything to do with me because I work at the mortuary. She later had an accident. I guess she was dying to see me.

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Broke up with my blind girlfriend because she said she doesn't see a future with me.

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I just read that someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy.

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I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning. Being a sniper is awesome.

Which one is your favorite? Drop yours!

My girlfriend has crossed eyes
So we barely see eye to eye