Good morning everyone ! Pls I have an issue bothering me and I haven’t slept for days, I need advice please. I’m a 30yrs old lady who is dating a guy of 35yrs old that’s the only child of his mother, his parents has separated since he was young and the mother later remarried but got divorced,the mother has been trying to have another child ever since then but she couldn’t. When we met after talking for some weeks he suddenly ghosted me for two years for no reason, no quarrel no nothing! He just stopped talking to me. Then after two years he resurfaced and started disturbing me again that he wants to settle down with me, since I had no one I was dating I accepted, he told me he had always wanted someone who he’s at least 10yrs older than so the person can respect him but since he likes me he doesn’t mind the age difference between us,I was surprised one day when after a little argument on phone over something that will actually favour him when he started yelling saying “ this is why he doesn’t like dating ladies who are 28,29,30 or 31” that they will be pressuring him for marriage that to be honest with me what he told me about dating someone he’s 10yrs Older than is not because of respect but so that by the time he’ll be ready for marriage the lady too will be ready that for example the girl his mother introduced him too is just 23yrs old and currently doing her NYSC and by the time she finish and ready for marriage he’ll be ready too” , I’m surprised at all these because I’ve never pestered him for marriage before even when he ghosted me for no reason I never asked why. I think the reason for such decision is because he once told me even up till now he’s mother who’s in her late 50’s is still trying to have a child, and that he had decided not to get married until his mother has another child because his mother will be lonely if he gets married but since time is going and his mother can’t conceive yet that’s why he has now decided to marry .
The following day he apologized, so I observed he has anger issue, he gets angry easily a lot and usually say a lot of mean and hurtful things after which he will start apologizing that he doesn’t mean any of what he said. He’s also a talkative, he talks a lot and he usually tell his mother EVERYTHING WE DISCUSS, at first I had no issue with that because since he’s the only child so I feel like he’s the only one the mother talks to, but there’s no privacy in the relationship at all! I mean even things that are meant to be between us he divulge everything to his mother.He also told me that immediately after we get married his mother is going to move in with us because she will be lonely, he didn’t say when she gets old and maybe needs someone to take care of her , he said IMMEDIATELY after our wedding meaning it’s me and his mom who will move in with him at the same time. As if that’s not enough we planned how he’s going to take me to his father to introduce me to his father and his relative , we’ve planned everything and I’ve even bought things I will take for his grandmother only for him to inform me that his mother said he shouldn’t take me there yet so he cancelled the whole thing, I was surprised but not hurt I felt his mum knows better.
But the one that happened now that has been giving me sleepless night and I’ve cried my eyes out , he called me some weeks back to inform my family that he wants to come with his people for introduction, which I did , only for him to come back again and tell me to inform them again that he’s not coming because his mother said it’s not yet time that when it’s time they will come and do it for him on his behalf, it really pained me because I’m an orphan and I had to call all my family members together I did a lot of traveling to pass his information across to them , so me now going back again to inform them sounds like I’m unserious and just messing with them and these are elderly people for God sake! I actually did that since he insisted that’s what his mother said, it really pained me and I cried and cried, he’s been telling me since then not to worry that when it’s time he’s sure according to what his mum said they will come and help him to do the introduction. Please advice me I’m tired, I really love this guy but this is getting too much, I would have said maybe his mother doesn’t want him to marry me but his mother talks to me everyday. I’m not desperate at all and I’ve already decided before I even met him that if by 35 I’m not married I will adopt and live my life since I’m doing well for myself, so It’s not like I’m desperate. Please has this happened to anyone before? I even overheard him on phone with his mother one day his mother was telling him not to over show me that he loves me that he shouldn’t love me too much I was surprised because this is same woman who talks to me everyday. Who has gone through this before or who has the slightest idea of what is happening?.

My dear first of all your story is too long and people wont have time to read everything

Number two simply adopt and live by yourself now...marriage isnt a do or die affair

You don't love the guy. You are just desperate to settle down and the man child and his mother are using you as their play thing.


Probably because you are doing well financially they don't want to let you go just yet.

But they sure will after messing you up !
At 30 and doing well for your self you should be sensible and not tolerate rubbish from low lifers but no, you must marry so even if they give you shit. You are ready to eat it.



Two idiotic jokers are using as their play thing and you allowed the rubbish.


By the time they finish with you, you will even question your sanity.



RUN AWAY, I mean run from the wicked selfish woman and her moronic son !

You should be the one to give yourself the best advice

Deny him sex for months and see if he truly wants to marry you.

For now, I think you are sexually very good for him and he is using marriage to exploit you sexually. Since you said you are doing well for yourself and you didn't mention if he is financially independent or he depends on your income, I would not say he is holding you because of your money.

Face front, they are making it look like they wants to help you..the touching part is you being an orphan cause your mother wont be alive and allow this rubbish happening to you, I dont know her though but what those people are doing to you is total rubbish

Pls answer this.
Are you OK with the way a 35 years old man can't take decisions on his own?
Are you OK with the way he's telling his mom everything discussed by you and him?


General advice to ladies
Ladies pls be sensitive when it comes to marital issue and relationship.
Somebody ghosted you for two good years with no explanation, he came back and you accepted him, what kind of desperation or level of inferiority complex is that?
Why are you selling urself cheap bcoz u want to marry?
Do you know marriage is one of the simplest things happening everyday, so why acting as if it's some kind of big deal.
Pls rate urself high.
to the issue jare..
if you will be sincere with urself, u are enduring what you won't tolerate on a normal ground, but bcoz u want to get married and they have noticed that, that is why they are using u as a backup plan to their original plan, I will advice you to be sensitive enough to know that, they have other plans.
Since u are doing well for urself you can behave as if the marriage is not important and its not a do or die affair,just for them to know that they are not doing you any favour, as it is, they have the feelings that they are doing you a favour by wanting to marry you, so make them stop taking you for granted.
Concerning the canceled introduction, I blv you know how to call ur ppl to apologise for the mistake, and don't make the mistake of begging that guy to change his mind or begging his mom to not to cancel the introduction, don't force anything to happen by begging or persuasion

Angiewhite:
Good morning everyone ! Pls I have an issue bothering me and I haven’t slept for days, I need advice please. I’m a 30yrs old lady who is dating a guy of 35yrs old that’s the only child of his mother, his parents has separated since he was young and the mother later remarried but got divorced,the mother has been trying to have another child ever since then but she couldn’t. When we met after talking for some weeks he suddenly ghosted me for two years for no reason, no quarrel no nothing! He just stopped talking to me. Then after two years he resurfaced and started disturbing me again that he wants to settle down with me, since I had no one I was dating I accepted, he told me he had always wanted someone who he’s at least 10yrs older than so the person can respect him but since he likes me he doesn’t mind the age difference between us,I was surprised one day when after a little argument on phone over something that will actually favour him when he started yelling saying “ this is why he doesn’t like dating ladies who are 28,29,30 or 31” that they will be pressuring him for marriage that to be honest with me what he told me about dating someone he’s 10yrs Older than is not because of respect but so that by the time he’ll be ready for marriage the lady too will be ready that for example the girl his mother introduced him too is just 23yrs old and currently doing her NYSC and by the time she finish and ready for marriage he’ll be ready too” , I’m surprised at all these because I’ve never pestered him for marriage before even when he ghosted me for no reason I never asked why. I think the reason for such decision is because he once told me even up till now he’s mother who’s in her late 50’s is still trying to have a child, and that he had decided not to get married until his mother has another child because his mother will be lonely if he gets married but since time is going and his mother can’t conceive yet that’s why he has now decided to marry .
The following day he apologized, so I observed he has anger issue, he gets angry easily a lot and usually say a lot of mean and hurtful things after which he will start apologizing that he doesn’t mean any of what he said. He’s also a talkative, he talks a lot and he usually tell his mother EVERYTHING WE DISCUSS, at first I had no issue with that because since he’s the only child so I feel like he’s the only one the mother talks to, but there’s no privacy in the relationship at all! I mean even things that are meant to be between us he divulge everything to his mother.He also told me that immediately after we get married his mother is going to move in with us because she will be lonely, he didn’t say when she gets old and maybe needs someone to take care of her , he said IMMEDIATELY after our wedding meaning it’s me and his mom who will move in with him at the same time. As if that’s not enough we planned how he’s going to take me to his father to introduce me to his father and his relative , we’ve planned everything and I’ve even bought things I will take for his grandmother only for him to inform me that his mother said he shouldn’t take me there yet so he cancelled the whole thing, I was surprised but not hurt I felt his mum knows better.
But the one that happened now that has been giving me sleepless night and I’ve cried my eyes out , he called me some weeks back to inform my family that he wants to come with his people for introduction, which I did , only for him to come back again and tell me to inform them again that he’s not coming because his mother said it’s not yet time that when it’s time they will come and do it for him on his behalf, it really pained me because I’m an orphan and I had to call all my family members together I did a lot of traveling to pass his information across to them , so me now going back again to inform them sounds like I’m unserious and just messing with them and these are elderly people for God sake! I actually did that since he insisted that’s what his mother said, it really pained me and I cried and cried, he’s been telling me since then not to worry that when it’s time he’s sure according to what his mum said they will come and help him to do the introduction. Please advice me I’m tired, I really love this guy but this is getting too much, I would have said maybe his mother doesn’t want him to marry me but his mother talks to me everyday. I’m not desperate at all and I’ve already decided before I even met him that if by 35 I’m not married I will adopt and live my life since I’m doing well for myself, so It’s not like I’m desperate. Please has this happened to anyone before? I even overheard him on phone with his mother one day his mother was telling him not to over show me that he loves me that he shouldn’t love me too much I was surprised because this is same woman who talks to me everyday. Who has gone through this before or who has the slightest idea of what is happening?.

I will advise you as a sister leave him before he wastes ur time.



He's a mummy boy


U will have issues in the. Marriage.


Forget love there are some decent men out there with less issues.




Starts looking for a decent man and stop communicating with him and his mother for your own good.

immortalcrown:
Deny him sex for months and see if he truly wants to marry you.

Since you didn't mention if he is financially independent or he depends on your income, I would not say he is holding you because of your money. For now, I think you are sexually very good for him and he is using marriage to exploit you sexually.

Denying him sex will make her the P in Psychology.

Ma,u are dating a mommys boy because i dont c any reason a matured man will be seeking for approval before taking decisions that will that wil determine his future,jst lyk what someone said up there they are keeping u for selfish purpose.beta cal d relationship off y u still can

Zonefree:

Denying him sex will make her the P in Psychology.

This will shows he doesn't want to marry her. If he wants to marry her, he will not leave her because of denial of sex.

Make I dock for here the look

immortalcrown:
This will shows he doesn't want to marry her. If he wants to marry her, he will not leave her because of denial of sex.

So, what will she be providing the guy in the absence of sex? Long life

I think you already know what to do. You probably just don't know how to do it. Two things can happen here. It is either he eventually settles down with the 23 year old chick or marries you but is still being controlled by his mum. Either way, you end up unhappy. Leave when you can and don't look back.

Wotoporiously speaking

Leave that manchi in a baby's body before you die of heart attack, I no go talk am again cuz the decision is yours to make

Zonefree:

So, what will she be providing the guy in the absence of sex? Long life

Whatever the guy offers her in the absence of sex is what she will offer the guy in the absence of sex.

immortalcrown:
Whatever the guy offers her in the absence of sex is what she will offer the guy in the absence of sex.

Let's not go there now abeg

Angiewhite:
Good morning everyone ! Pls I have an issue bothering me and I haven’t slept for days, I need advice please. I’m a 30yrs old lady who is dating a guy of 35yrs old that’s the only child of his mother, his parents has separated since he was young and the mother later remarried but got divorced,the mother has been trying to have another child ever since then but she couldn’t. When we met after talking for some weeks he suddenly ghosted me for two years for no reason, no quarrel no nothing! He just stopped talking to me. Then after two years he resurfaced and started disturbing me again that he wants to settle down with me, since I had no one I was dating I accepted, he told me he had always wanted someone who he’s at least 10yrs older than so the person can respect him but since he likes me he doesn’t mind the age difference between us,I was surprised one day when after a little argument on phone over something that will actually favour him when he started yelling saying “ this is why he doesn’t like dating ladies who are 28,29,30 or 31” that they will be pressuring him for marriage that to be honest with me what he told me about dating someone he’s 10yrs Older than is not because of respect but so that by the time he’ll be ready for marriage the lady too will be ready that for example the girl his mother introduced him too is just 23yrs old and currently doing her NYSC and by the time she finish and ready for marriage he’ll be ready too” , I’m surprised at all these because I’ve never pestered him for marriage before even when he ghosted me for no reason I never asked why. I think the reason for such decision is because he once told me even up till now he’s mother who’s in her late 50’s is still trying to have a child, and that he had decided not to get married until his mother has another child because his mother will be lonely if he gets married but since time is going and his mother can’t conceive yet that’s why he has now decided to marry .
The following day he apologized, so I observed he has anger issue, he gets angry easily a lot and usually say a lot of mean and hurtful things after which he will start apologizing that he doesn’t mean any of what he said. He’s also a talkative, he talks a lot and he usually tell his mother EVERYTHING WE DISCUSS, at first I had no issue with that because since he’s the only child so I feel like he’s the only one the mother talks to, but there’s no privacy in the relationship at all! I mean even things that are meant to be between us he divulge everything to his mother.He also told me that immediately after we get married his mother is going to move in with us because she will be lonely, he didn’t say when she gets old and maybe needs someone to take care of her , he said IMMEDIATELY after our wedding meaning it’s me and his mom who will move in with him at the same time. As if that’s not enough we planned how he’s going to take me to his father to introduce me to his father and his relative , we’ve planned everything and I’ve even bought things I will take for his grandmother only for him to inform me that his mother said he shouldn’t take me there yet so he cancelled the whole thing, I was surprised but not hurt I felt his mum knows better.
But the one that happened now that has been giving me sleepless night and I’ve cried my eyes out , he called me some weeks back to inform my family that he wants to come with his people for introduction, which I did , only for him to come back again and tell me to inform them again that he’s not coming because his mother said it’s not yet time that when it’s time they will come and do it for him on his behalf, it really pained me because I’m an orphan and I had to call all my family members together I did a lot of traveling to pass his information across to them , so me now going back again to inform them sounds like I’m unserious and just messing with them and these are elderly people for God sake! I actually did that since he insisted that’s what his mother said, it really pained me and I cried and cried, he’s been telling me since then not to worry that when it’s time he’s sure according to what his mum said they will come and help him to do the introduction. Please advice me I’m tired, I really love this guy but this is getting too much, I would have said maybe his mother doesn’t want him to marry me but his mother talks to me everyday. I’m not desperate at all and I’ve already decided before I even met him that if by 35 I’m not married I will adopt and live my life since I’m doing well for myself, so It’s not like I’m desperate. Please has this happened to anyone before? I even overheard him on phone with his mother one day his mother was telling him not to over show me that he loves me that he shouldn’t love me too much I was surprised because this is same woman who talks to me everyday. Who has gone through this before or who has the slightest idea of what is happening?.

If all you said here is true, then run. Run and never look back. You will definitely regret if you marry him

Zonefree:



Let's not go there now abeg

You have already gone there.

Your story long die but I will tell u this, if you won't be able to tolerate the mother is better you leave him.
I mentioned the mother because Las Las everything will be all about her or many things, he is the only child.
Make unah patronize me for any of your graphics design work.
Check my siggy for contact info.

Angiewhite:
Good morning everyone ! Pls I have an issue bothering me and I haven’t slept for days, I need advice please. I’m a 30yrs old lady who is dating a guy of happening?.

Please better leave him alone o
You've not found your Husband yet, you're just wasting your time and emotions with this Big Baby sham...
That's uttermost disrespect na
I know it is your age that's making you consider this, please you're 30 but this Baby is not yours, this is like you signing up for life and eternity of tears...
If you end up marrying him, just know your tears has not even started, all these ones is still press up ..
He'll never be ready, his type become fools at 40.
Set of stupid people also grew old...
Let him marry his Mummy, they should try doing IVF

After all these if they eventually marry you at last, you would wish you never enter the so called marriage in the first place....... last but not the least every body must not marry

You were always an option!!!!!!
He’ll remind you how he saved you from shame if you marry him.

Y’all are really working my last nerve this morning.
You obviously have no self worth.
He obviously is lobotomized.
Y’all GTFO.

@ OP run o, run as fast as your legs can take you. A man at 35 can't take decisions on his own how does he intend to run the home as the head biko runnnnnnn... ndi my mummy and my family said.

A yam pepper scatter scatter matter.

Continue dating a sissy and a confusionists...They will use you and dump you, thereafter innocent "Slynation" will receive an unnecessary stray bullet that "All men are scum"

The problem too long to read

You are not even ashamed to drop this rubbish here. If you have standards, you won’t still be in this stupid relationship even with these countless red flags. You are obviously desperate for Marriage and that’s why you have made up your mind to settle for less. Receive sense shaa…….! Even my neighbor’s 3 year old daughter can’t take this rubbish from anyone

Angiewhite:
Good morning everyone ! Pls I have an issue bothering me and I haven’t slept for days, I need advice please. I’m a 30yrs old lady who is dating a guy of 35yrs old that’s the only child of his mother, his parents has separated since he was young and the mother later remarried but got divorced,the mother has been trying to have another child ever since then but she couldn’t. When we met after talking for some weeks he suddenly ghosted me for two years for no reason, no quarrel no nothing! He just stopped talking to me. Then after two years he resurfaced and started disturbing me again that he wants to settle down with me, since I had no one I was dating I accepted, he told me he had always wanted someone who he’s at least 10yrs older than so the person can respect him but since he likes me he doesn’t mind the age difference between us,I was surprised one day when after a little argument on phone over something that will actually favour him when he started yelling saying “ this is why he doesn’t like dating ladies who are 28,29,30 or 31” that they will be pressuring him for marriage that to be honest with me what he told me about dating someone he’s 10yrs Older than is not because of respect but so that by the time he’ll be ready for marriage the lady too will be ready that for example the girl his mother introduced him too is just 23yrs old and currently doing her NYSC and by the time she finish and ready for marriage he’ll be ready too” , I’m surprised at all these because I’ve never pestered him for marriage before even when he ghosted me for no reason I never asked why. I think the reason for such decision is because he once told me even up till now he’s mother who’s in her late 50’s is still trying to have a child, and that he had decided not to get married until his mother has another child because his mother will be lonely if he gets married but since time is going and his mother can’t conceive yet that’s why he has now decided to marry .
The following day he apologized, so I observed he has anger issue, he gets angry easily a lot and usually say a lot of mean and hurtful things after which he will start apologizing that he doesn’t mean any of what he said. He’s also a talkative, he talks a lot and he usually tell his mother EVERYTHING WE DISCUSS, at first I had no issue with that because since he’s the only child so I feel like he’s the only one the mother talks to, but there’s no privacy in the relationship at all! I mean even things that are meant to be between us he divulge everything to his mother.He also told me that immediately after we get married his mother is going to move in with us because she will be lonely, he didn’t say when she gets old and maybe needs someone to take care of her , he said IMMEDIATELY after our wedding meaning it’s me and his mom who will move in with him at the same time. As if that’s not enough we planned how he’s going to take me to his father to introduce me to his father and his relative , we’ve planned everything and I’ve even bought things I will take for his grandmother only for him to inform me that his mother said he shouldn’t take me there yet so he cancelled the whole thing, I was surprised but not hurt I felt his mum knows better.
But the one that happened now that has been giving me sleepless night and I’ve cried my eyes out , he called me some weeks back to inform my family that he wants to come with his people for introduction, which I did , only for him to come back again and tell me to inform them again that he’s not coming because his mother said it’s not yet time that when it’s time they will come and do it for him on his behalf, it really pained me because I’m an orphan and I had to call all my family members together I did a lot of traveling to pass his information across to them , so me now going back again to inform them sounds like I’m unserious and just messing with them and these are elderly people for God sake! I actually did that since he insisted that’s what his mother said, it really pained me and I cried and cried, he’s been telling me since then not to worry that when it’s time he’s sure according to what his mum said they will come and help him to do the introduction. Please advice me I’m tired, I really love this guy but this is getting too much, I would have said maybe his mother doesn’t want him to marry me but his mother talks to me everyday. I’m not desperate at all and I’ve already decided before I even met him that if by 35 I’m not married I will adopt and live my life since I’m doing well for myself, so It’s not like I’m desperate. Please has this happened to anyone before? I even overheard him on phone with his mother one day his mother was telling him not to over show me that he loves me that he shouldn’t love me too much I was surprised because this is same woman who talks to me everyday. Who has gone through this before or who has the slightest idea of what is happening?.

I can see you have a good heart. But honestly that marrage will be your worst nightmare.. me too am looking for wife oh. Even if I senior you with 2 year. I don't care. Even if you senior me. That's cool. But that guy and his mum will use you and marry another person. Email me abeg. I serious. Markfredson35@gmail.com

Leave that mummy's boy alone, pray and wait on God to send you a serious young man that will also respect you as a wife.
His mother will be a bone on your neck because you are not her choice for her only son.
What made his mother to live a divorcee twice is in his DNA. SO, do not give a second thought of having him as a hisband but horseman.
From my own point of view, all the stories you are telling about this man are no! No! No! for hisband material. From experience, it is better he sticks to the person his mother choose for him as long as the mother is still alive. Pull yourself out of trouble. God will give you a better husband.

Hian. Na wa o