Good morning nairalanders, something happened recently in a family which prompted me to write and share this story.

I have a friend who does home lessons for children in a particular area, this my friend normally discusses some certain things happening in some of this families that he's not happy about, so most of the times he do settle alot of issues that are not related to education but morals and ethics in the family. This my friend is so good and trusted to the extent that some of his client do leave children with him and travel, just because of the trust they had in him.

So there's this family I went with him one day, so he told me that, in that house the children don't do anything, they have six children, with eldest sixteen years of age and a girl. He said they only try to do things in the house only when they see him coming, that's to tell you that they're not afraid of their mum.
So the day we went, they saw him and they wanted to start doing something and he stopped them, then he called the mother, the house was so dirty ,plates they they used also was so dirty, so the mother came and he started talking to her, why are training this children this way, at this age your children can't do house chores, can't even wash their uniform, look at your first daughter, she can't even help you organise the house, don't you know this girl will become somebody's wife tomorrow?? She's doing all this and you're allowing her? The woman started talking and crying, saying she has talk to them but they wont listen and friend said why can't you take action on them, make them do it until they master it. What about your husband he asked ,she said the husband dont use to talk , that that's why they employ him so he can help them handle the children, that other teachers just normally come and collect and go, but he's the only one that's seriously observing his family and doing the right thing to change things. Me and my friend just shook our head, and he told the woman he will like to see his husband when next he comes.

My reason for saying this is because parents of this days are over pampering their children and are also giving them alot of free-hand. I was not brought up that way, I know my mum doesn't know how to beat but my dad ( that man doesn't take shit from his children). It was that fear that kept us in place, until we grew up before my dad stop beating us. Now he can just talk to you, but if worst come to worst you collect slap from him.

So I think parents of this generation needs to do the needful in order to bring-up responsible children that will represent them even when they're no more.

Just my opinion though.
What do you think guys??

You didn't lie bro! I know of a friend who did the lesson thing and had a similar experience where it is when he gets to the house that he will make the boy to brush and then arrange something to eat before he can teach him. Both parents are medical doctors and the husband abandoned the home because of all the issues from what my friend found out! The woman brings her loverboy to the house. The boy is left with his elder brother who can barely take care of himself too whenever the mother is on call!

Parents need to step up to their responsibilities...why have kids if you know you can't take care of them? This is the problem that is reflected in our society today. Disfunctional families churning out disfunctional misfits into the society and the unfortunate circle continues!

Look at the kind of softy kids we have today! Every challenge is a recipie for depression and suicide because they haven't been prepared for the realities of life!

Rebelutionary:
You didn't lie bro! I know of a friend who did the lesson thing and had a similar experience where it is when he gets to the house that he will make the boy to brush and then arrange something to eat before he can teach him. Both parents are medical doctors and the husband abandoned the home because of all the issues from what my friend found out! The woman brings her loverboy to the house. The boy is left with his elder brother who can barely take care of himself too whenever the mother is on call!

Parents need to step up to their responsibilities...why have kids if you know you can't take care of them? This is the problem that is reflected in our society today. Disfunctional families churning out disfunctional misfits into the society and the unfortunate circle continues!

Look at the kind of softy kids we have today! Every challenge is a recipie for depression and suicide because they haven't been prepared for the realities of life!

You've said it all bro, most of this people that are getting married nowadays don't even know why they're getting married, they dont really know what marriage is all about, they're just after clout and also to mark present, that's why they keep raising this kind of children.
And also, the 21st century children are becoming something else with the help of social media too, majority of them are not using it to better their lives but are using it for bad purposes, and if parents don't step-up to do the needful they'll continue to bring-up weak/irresponsible future father's and mother's which in the long run will have a negative effects in our family institution.

This is a case of pushing one's luck too far. You are hired to come teach and if you need help instill discipline in the children, do it. There is no need embarrassing the mother and having the effrontery to ask for their father so that you can talk sense into him. That is taking your luck too far. The mother might acknowledge her weakness and the father might find it embarrassing. If you can help, please do and if you cannot, let them be.

GboyegaD:
This is a case of pushing one's luck too far. You are hired to come teach and if you need help instill discipline in the children, do it. There is no need embarrassing the mother and having the effrontery to ask for their father so that you can talk sense into him. That is taking your luck too far. The mother might acknowledge her weakness and the father might find it embarrassing. If you can help, please do and if you cannot, let them be.

I dont really think you understand what we're saying here. He's doing what he can as teacher to put the children on the right track, but you need to understand that the parent have the major role to play here, and nobody will do it for them if they
don't step-up to the task.

Nobody is embarrassing anybody here, he only want to give some useful advice, and that's it.

achimendy:



I dont really think you understand what we're saying here. He's doing what he can as teacher to put the children on the right track, but you need to understand that the parent have the major role to play here, and nobody will do it for them if they
don't step-up to the task.

Nobody is embarrassing anybody here, he only want to give some useful advice, and that's it.

Was he hired to advice the parents? He should render the service he's paid for and not the "I too know" he's trying to do. He wants to teach a man how to handle his home, right? The word respect is very key and one needs understand it very well to avoid embarassing situations.

Parents who are spoilt cannot instill discipline in their kids. You don’t give what you do not have

You deserve a sack

Best you can do is have a discourse with the particular child ( or children) you teach to help their mum and do house chores, etc that's all you can do. Only the ones you teach lesson oo. You have influence over the ones you teach,you can discipline them too if they do anyhow, also talk to them to do chores shikena.

Don't talk to the mum or dad about it, it's not within your job description.


That said lots of parents are raising spoilt brats nowadays if you talk too much you hear 'I don't want my kids to pass through what I passed through'

Children should be able to take the plates to the kitchen from a particular age, clean up their table from another age, wash plates ( even if it won't be clean) from certain ages, fold clothes, sweep, wash socks etc, as they grow they get used to these things.

There are age range chores for different ages but iro oo our Gen Z style of parenting will spoil children rotten, they will now grow up and be useless to them selves, their parents and society at large.

It's a time bomb it will explode right on our faces. Kaboooom!!!

GboyegaD:


Was he hired to advice the parents? He should render the service he's paid for and not the "I too know" he's trying to do. He wants to teach a man how to handle his home, right? The word respect is very key and one needs understand it very well to avoid embarassing situations.

He's doing what is right even if you term it as pushing his luck too far.
Our forefathers use to say, "it's impossible for an elder to be present in a marketsquare while the head of a newborn deforms."
The discipline he's instilling in those kids and the sense of responsibility he's trying to awaken in their parents is more noble than the class subjects being taught to the kids.
There's nothing like embarrassment if he presented his advice properly to their father. The kids would also appreciate his effort when they grow up.

The problem is with this rotten, western, woke culture gradually choking out our African heritage. Many children of the soil yielding themselves as pawns and custodians of this rottenness.
Everyone is now being taught to watch, look on and mind his business while things go bad.
This is never an African thing.
All the good values and culture as Africans are going into extinction.

AudioMonkey:


He's doing what is right even if you term it as pushing his luck too far.
Our forefathers use to say, "it's impossible for an elder to be present in a marketsquare while the head of a newborn deforms."
The discipline he's instilling in those kids and the sense of responsibility he's trying to awaken in their parents is more noble than the class subjects being taught to the kids.
There's nothing like embarrassment if he presented his advice properly to their father. The kids would also appreciate his effort when they grow up.

The problem is with this rotten, western, woke culture gradually choking out our African heritage. Many children of the soil yielding themselves as pawns and custodians of this rottenness.
Everyone is now being taught to watch, look on and mind his business while things go bad.
This is never an African things.
All the good values and culture as Africans are going into extinction.

Even in Africa, you don't disrespect an adult because of his choice of parenting style. If he claims the guy is sleeping with his wife and all sorts and uses influence to lock him up or his actions destroys a home he would have done well, right?
The best amd noble thing he can do is what he is doing since the mother of the children is in support however, trying to come tell a man he isn't good enough as a father is sheer disrespect.
Calling the western culture rotten speaks volume of the value you have. If you can disrespect another culture by calling it names then I do not understand what value you think your culture holds dear.
I wish the OP luck.

GboyegaD:


Even in Africa, you don't disrespect an adult because of his choice of parenting style. If he claims the guy is sleeping with his wife and all sorts and uses influence to lock him up or his actions destroys a home he would have done well, right?
The best amd noble thing he can do is what he is doing since the mother of the children is in support however, trying to come tell a man he isn't good enough as a father is sheer disrespect.
Calling the western culture rotten speaks volume of the value you have. If you can disrespect another culture by calling it names then I do not understand what value you think your culture holds dear.
I wish the OP luck.

You're only making hard attempts to make a bad point look good.
Being an adult doesn't automatically mean or make all your choices/actions right. That is why prisons are full of adults. And reasons why we have good culture and traditions to instill the right behavior in people.
When did giving fellow adult human good advice become an act of disrespect?
Don't hospitals, religious organisations, government, family and even friends give advice to adult parents all the time? Is that an act of disrespect to give good counsels to parents?
You're obviously confused.
Like I said earlier, once he is wise and polite with his approach, he's doing a good job. And if he doesn't digress from and adhere strictly to this noble mission, the husband will not accuse him. It's even safer to relate more with the husband than the wife.

I'm not the first nor the last person to refer to western culture as rotten. Many people do, if you don't live in a cave, you should know that.
That doesn't mean western culture is entirely rotten, except that when people want to reference it in respect to some moral standard/values, that is the time they refer to it as rotten.
Every culture or race has it's good and bad side, the same derogatory way Whites refer to Africans in terms of bad governance. It's a norm, so the joke is on you.

AudioMonkey:


You're only making hard attempts to make a bad point look good.
Being an adult doesn't automatically mean or make all your choices/actions right. That is why prisons are full of adults. And reasons why we have good culture and traditions to instill the right behavior in people.
When did giving fellow adult human good advice become an act of disrespect?
Don't hospitals, religious organisations, government, family and even friends give advice to adult parents all the time? Is that an act of disrespect to give good counsels to parents?
You're obviously confused.
Like I said earlier, once he is wise and polite with his approach, he's doing a good job. And if he doesn't digress from and adhere strictly to this noble mission, the husband will not accuse him. It's even safer to relate more with the husband than the wife.

I'm not the first nor the last person to refer to western culture as rotten. Many people do, if you don't live in a cave, you should know that.
That doesn't mean western culture is entirely rotten, except that when people want to reference it in respect to some moral standard/values, that is the time they refer to it as rotten.
Every culture or race has it's good and bad side, the same derogatory way Whites refer to Africans in terms of bad governance. It's a norm, so the joke is on you.

Ours isn't rotten yet we aren't better. Let's stop being hypocrites.
That said, or isn't in his place to advice the man just like many have reiterated. You don't go about disrespecting people in the name of advice. He should take out the log in his eyes before thinking of someone else's spec.

GboyegaD:


Ours isn't rotten yet we aren't better. Let's stop being hypocrites.
That said, or isn't in his place to advice the man just like many have reiterated. You don't go about disrespecting people in the name of advice. He should take out the log in his eyes before thinking of someone else's spec.

Like I already said earlier, each culture/race has it's good and bad side. We're better in some ways, others are better in some other ways.
Also, you're only making pointless repetition of your past posts which I already replied.

You might be right another day on something else, but not on this, so give it a rest already.

reality of life.

my friend told me back then some few years ago that where he was doing home lesson, the kids don't know their parent, the house help is mummy and daddy. the man works in another state while the mother is a career banker, lives very early and return very late.
we parents need to do more honestly.

AudioMonkey:


Like I already said earlier, each culture/race has it's good and bad side. We're better in some ways, others are better in some other ways.
Also, you're only making pointless repetition of your past posts which I already replied.

You might be right another day on something else, but not on this, so give it a rest already.

You should be the one to rest. I gave my suggestions on why he should respect himself and face what he was hired to do but you in your thoughts came ranting on my comment.

That said, you are the one seeking who is right as I'm only presenting my thoughts. So if what you are about is been right, I no get power, abeg.

GboyegaD:


Was he hired to advice the parents? He should render the service he's paid for and not the "I too know" he's trying to do. He wants to teach a man how to handle his home, right? The word respect is very key and one needs understand it very well to avoid embarassing situations.

For your information my friend has already passed the information to the husband, and guess what? He was full of appreciation , thanking him for observing his children and also giving them useful advice. He also promised to make some change in the family.

So I hope you got the point we're trying to make here.
Is not everybody that can see bad and keep quiet, although I understand your point, but sometimes you just have to speak up.

Latty88:
Parents who are spoilt cannot instill discipline in their kids. You don’t give what you do not have

Exactly.

obinna58:
You deserve a sack

Why??

NoToPile:
Best you can do is have a discourse with the particular child ( or children) you teach to help their mum and do house chores, etc that's all you can do. Only the ones you teach lesson oo. You have influence over the ones you teach,you can discipline them too if they do anyhow, also talk to them to do chores shikena.

Don't talk to the mum or dad about it, it's not within your job description.


That said lots of parents are raising spoilt brats nowadays if you talk too much you hear 'I don't want my kids to pass through what I passed through'

Children should be able to take the plates to the kitchen from a particular age, clean up their table from another age, wash plates ( even if it won't be clean) from certain ages, fold clothes, sweep, wash socks etc, as they grow they get used to these things.

There are age range chores for different ages but iro oo our Gen Z style of parenting will spoil children rotten, they will now grow up and be useless to them selves, their parents and society at large.

It's a time bomb it will explode right on our faces. Kaboooom!!!

You know they're some certain things you see some kids doing even if you're not their father you wont be happy with it. That's exactly what's happening here.

But thank God he has already spoken with the parent, and they really appreciate him for that.

culf:
reality of life.

my friend told me back then some few years ago that where he was doing home lesson, the kids don't know their parent, the house help is mummy and daddy. the man works in another state while the mother is a career banker, lives very early and return very late.
we parents need to do more honestly.

Hmmmmm, things they really happen o.

achimendy:


For your information my friend has already passed the information to the husband, and guess what? He was full of appreciation , thanking him for observing his children and also giving them useful advice. He also promised to make some change in the family.

So I hope you got the point we're trying to make here.
Is not everybody that can see bad and keep quiet, although I understand your point, but sometimes you just have to speak up.

Glad he appreciated it.

These are the kinda threads that shud be pushed to fp.

achimendy:
Good morning nairalanders, something happened recently in a family which prompted me to write and share this story.

I have a friend who does home lessons for children in a particular area, this my friend normally discusses some certain things happening in some of this families that he's not happy about, so most of the times he do settle alot of issues that are not related to education but morals and ethics in the family. This my friend is so good and trusted to the extent that some of his client do leave children with him and travel, just because of the trust they had in him.

So there's this family I went with him one day, so he told me that, in that house the children don't do anything, they have six children, with eldest sixteen years of age and a girl. He said they only try to do things in the house only when they see him coming, that's to tell you that they're not afraid of their mum.
So the day we went, they saw him and they wanted to start doing something and he stopped them, then he called the mother, the house was so dirty ,plates they they used also was so dirty, so the mother came and he started talking to her, why are training this children this way, at this age your children can't do house chores, can't even wash their uniform, look at your first daughter, she can't even help you organise the house, don't you know this girl will become somebody's wife tomorrow?? She's doing all this and you're allowing her? The woman started talking and crying, saying she has talk to them but they wont listen and friend said why can't you take action on them, make them do it until they master it. What about your husband he asked ,she said the husband dont use to talk , that that's why they employ him so he can help them handle the children, that other teachers just normally come and collect and go, but he's the only one that's seriously observing his family and doing the right thing to change things. Me and my friend just shook our head, and he told the woman he will like to see his husband when next he comes.

My reason for saying this is because parents of this days are over pampering their children and are also giving them alot of free-hand. I was not brought up that way, I know my mum doesn't know how to beat but my dad ( that man doesn't take shit from his children). It was that fear that kept us in place, until we grew up before my dad stop beating us. Now he can just talk to you, but if worst come to worst you collect slap from him.

So I think parents of this generation needs to do the needful in order to bring-up responsible children that will represent them even when they're no more.

Just my opinion though.
What do you think guys??

You have a valid point but beating or slapping of kids is also is wrong. That's an abuse and it should never be cheered or seen as a way to discipline kids.

Don't raise your kids by beating or abuse them physically.

achimendy:



I dont really think you understand what we're saying here. He's doing what he can as teacher to put the children on the right track, but you need to understand that the parent have the major role to play here, and nobody will do it for them if they
don't step-up to the task.

Nobody is embarrassing anybody here, he only want to give some useful advice, and that's it.

Stop making a blind argument. He's pushing his luck too far. He should do his job and leave. And if he's that interested in instilling some moral on the kids, he should do it with wisdom.

If I was a parent and you challenge me about my parenting without common sense, that's gonna be the end of your contract!

achimendy:

Hmmmmm, things they really happen o.

I dey tell you.

SyrusdeHansome:
These are the kinda threads that shud be pushed to fp.

Exactly.

MufasaLion:


You have a valid point but beating or slapping of kids is also is wrong. That's an abuse and it should never be cheered or seen as a way to discipline kids.

Don't raise your kids by beating or abuse them physically.

For your information beating is one of the best ways to discipline a child , but that's if the need arises.

They're some children you can talk to they'll listen, and they're some children you'll also talk to they won't listen, so you need to apply force to make them understand and learn. Is either you learn the soft way or the hard way. Even the bible made us to understand the importance of beating a child when they go wrong (proverbs 13:24).

We're not in the western world where they give all manner of excuse for not beating a child.

achimendy:


For your information beating is one of the best ways to discipline a child , but that's if the need arises.

They're some children you can talk to they'll listen, and they're some children you'll also talk to they won't listen, so you need to apply force to make them understand and learn. Is either you learn the soft way or the hard way. Even the bible made us to understand the importance of beating a child when they go wrong (proverbs 13:24).

We're not in the western world where they give all manner of excuse for not beating a child.

I wanted to engage you in an intellectual conversation but it's shameful many of you couldn't do without bringing religious bullshit in a conversation.

Goodbye!

My wife went to my children's PTA meeting and one mother stood up to accuse the teachers for not teaching the children how to greet in the morning,afternoon and evening.

Parenting is the most difficult task I have ever seen but leaving the moral parts of it for school teacher is the greatest of all neglects.

After all,socialisation starts from the home before extending it out.

If u see the way and manner some people abuse their elders on this thread/forum,u will know there was a disconnect when they were growing up.

MufasaLion:


I wanted to engage you in an intellectual conversation but it's shameful many of you couldn't do without bringing religious bullshit in a conversation.

Goodbye!

There is nothing wrong in what he quoted especially from the greatest book on earth.

ibechris:



There is nothing wrong in what he quoted especially from the greatest book on earth.

Who certified Bible as the greatest book on Earth?