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I Got Married At 25, Finished My Phd At 35 And Became A Professor At 40. - Career - Nairaland

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I Got Married At 25, Finished My Phd At 35 And Became A Professor At 40. by SReporters: 8:24pm On Dec 29, 2022
So fast you see! Yes, everything around me worked fast. It is now that I realise that it was a misplaced priority.

My ambition blindfolded me and I got it all wrong, that is why I am sharing my experience through this medium to warn and encourage our young fathers not to be careless as I was back then.

I worked very hard as a lecturer and as an administrator, always so busy that it became my language to my children and wife..."I'm busy"

My wife was around to nurse the children for me for some time. The moment they clocked ten, I sent them to boarding schools, though my wife was not in support of this. I always found my way.

I had no warm relationship with my children, 2 boys and a girl.

I never knew it was a bad idea not to have time for my wife, children and the household, until 5 years ago, when guilt, loneliness and restlessness filled my heart.

I sent for my children to rejoice with me on my 60th birthday.

The two boys, living in Canada said they are "busy" and that their sister will come down from South Africa.

Two days before my birthday, my daughter sent this message to me, "Dad, I am very sorry not to be around over there, there is no time to squeeze out, my husband needs my attention at his newly established clinic and presently, I'm pregnant. I'm very very busy. I'm also lonely in a strange land. Please pray for us dad. Happy birthday".

I could not recover from the meaning I got from the message.. "First-things-First". When they needed me for warmth and discussion, I was not available, now I needed them for warmth and discussion I could not get them, rather they returned my slogan back to me, "I'm busy"

To worsen the matter, my dear wife died in her sleep a month after. ...Only one of the children came ​without​ his family to the burial ceremony.

I was dumbfounded!!! Considered Opinion: it is good to work and be a hard working fellow.
But hear this important and salient truth:

Parenting is sacrificial work, give it all it takes. Avoid any work that will take away your attention too much from your home - Avoid it and be careful!

Solidify your home first, create time for your spouse and children. Establish the fear of God in their hearts through your attitude and behavior.

Though it is costly now, the future reward is worth it. This is an eye opener for both men and women. Let's be selflessly available when our children need us.

https://www.solutionreporters.com/2022/12/29/i-got-married-at-25-finished-my-phd-at-35-and-became-a-professor-at-40/

Re: I Got Married At 25, Finished My Phd At 35 And Became A Professor At 40. by yomi007k(m): 8:27pm On Dec 29, 2022
Another morale is that "last last we all we be alone. Prepare for the last days"

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Re: I Got Married At 25, Finished My Phd At 35 And Became A Professor At 40. by SReporters: 8:37pm On Dec 29, 2022
yomi007k:
Another morale is that "last last we all we be alone. Prepare for the last days"

Cold truth!
Re: I Got Married At 25, Finished My Phd At 35 And Became A Professor At 40. by gift2xl: 8:52pm On Dec 29, 2022
Everyone loves to spend time with family, but sea rough the waves are terrible.
Nice update.

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Re: I Got Married At 25, Finished My Phd At 35 And Became A Professor At 40. by meobizy(f): 12:55pm On Dec 30, 2022
Thank you. Experience is best lived first hand.

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Re: I Got Married At 25, Finished My Phd At 35 And Became A Professor At 40. by temitope66(m): 1:07pm On Dec 30, 2022
Nothing last forever, everything under the blue sky as it time.

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Re: I Got Married At 25, Finished My Phd At 35 And Became A Professor At 40. by SReporters: 1:42pm On Dec 30, 2022
temitope66:
Nothing last forever, everything under the blue sky as it time.

Yeah that's true but having your kids abandoning you at the time you need them most can be heartbreaking.... So we need to learn from the message of this story and always spend time with our kids. Family first before any other thing.

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