For aspiring patriarchs who desire stable relationships with females, a little advice for you.

Females instinctively desire security (emotional, financial and physical), and are drawn or attracted to men who can or have shown capacity to provide this security to them.
This isn't a bad thing as they need this security in order to fulfill their biological imperative (to raise kids with the best genes, in the best possible way), so the human species doesn't go extinct.
However, when a female feels assured of this security, either by relationship, marriage, children etc., with time she becomes relaxed and then laxity sets in.
She no longer feels the need to compete with other females for her man's security. By compete I mean sexually, emotionally and physically.
She begins to dress for her comfort and not to appeal sexually, by tying wrapper at home, and dressing like a "married woman" outside.
Her hair do is no longer priority and it's done when she likes and is solely for her comfort.
Same with nails, and makeup.
Her hygiene and diet no longer matter, she eats whatever and however she likes. She gets fat and out of shape because her shape no longer matters. She isn't competing with anyone for a man, because she already has one.
Sex to her now becomes a luxury and not a necessity to secure her man.

However, if this continues unchecked by her man for a while, little by little, the shit tests starts coming.
Starting with daring her man, she begins to misbehave with little insults here and there and she then begins to do as she likes.

Then the man starts wondering, how did it came to this?
He asks himself, what happened to the beautiful girl who always made sure she was at her best physically, sexually and emotionally early in the relationship or marriage, just to please him and have him seek no one else?

He asks himself, What happened to this lady who was always on her best behavior to please him or not to offend him, and will quickly apologize if he was upset she did something bad?

Now, he no longer finds her sexy and appealing like he did before in the relationship, and now often gets irritated by her presence.
The relationship or marriage has becomes stale. Attraction has become repulsion.

He feels trapped with a woman he no longer feels attraction for because he feels restrained to cheat due to his religious beliefs.

If you are keenly observant, you will notice that ladies married to religious men generally look less appealing than ladies married to non religious men after being married for some years.

This is the problem many men are facing today in relationships and marriages, but don't know exactly what the problem is that made the woman change, and what to do about it.

The problem SECURITY.

You have given and assured her of her one true need: SECURITY.
The security of your commitment to her through a relationship, marriage, or children.

She no longer feels scared of loosing you to another woman.

A woman's fear of losing her man to another woman is what compels her to always be at her best in terms of behavior, physically, sexually and emotionally.

This same phenomenon is what we experience when we compare the staff of government institutions and staff of private establishments.
You can connect the dots.

Now, dealing with this problem isn't a simple matter as it requires high emotional intelligence and would be most effective at the early stage of any relationship with a lady, before marriage or before children.

The first step is to know that while you can provide a lady with the financial, emotional and physical security that comes with your commitment to her through a relationship or marriage, NEVER assure her of it.

Ladies unwittingly seek this assurance early in a relationship by consistently asking if a man loves them either before or after sex, or make him promise never to cheat on them, by trying to know his account balance and source of income, by knowing his friends and family and becoming close to them, by seeking his views about polygamy and his religious beliefs etc.

Never give her a definite response whenever she asks these assurance questions.
Never assure her of that security, but always leave her guessing and on her toes with your response.

Covertly make her realize that you are the prize and let her observe that other ladies desire you.
Covertly make her realize that she's always in a competition for your commitment and that if she messes up or no longer meets the standards you want in a woman or gives you wahala, that you will not hesitate to dump her for better options, whether there's children or not.

Also, let her know you are open to polygamy, even if you don't intend indulge in it.

She will definitely whine and reel about your lack of assurance of your commitment, sometimes even threatening to quit the relationship.

However, do not yield, it's a shit test.
Your only assurance to any lady should be that she's not assured of your commitment.

Tell her she's free to go, and that you can always get someone better than her, and guess what? she'd never leave and would always be at her best.

Why does this work?

Let me explain.

Ladies hate the thought of competing for the attention and commitment of a man, but will gladly compete for a man if they find him high value enough.
The feeling of having a man who other women desire makes a woman feel she's better than other women.
Also, a lady having to compete and win the competition with other ladies for her man gives her an indication she has made a good choice in securing a high value man (to fulfill her biological imperative), and his commitment to her makes her feel like a biological super human.

In addition, no lady believes another lady is better than her in getting a man.
They know if a lady looks more appealing than them physically, but they never want to believe it nonetheless.
Most ladies would rather share a high value man than totally lose him to another woman.

Loosing out on a man she considers high value to another woman is one of the most painful thing to a woman. It's makes her feel like a biological failure and a looser.

A lady who is assured of the commitment of her man sees no need to compete with other ladies for it.

However, with time, she becomes bored and begins to wonder if she has made the best choice in a man.
This instinctively prompts her to shit test him with increasingly progressive bad behavior to provoke him prove his masculinity and self worth.

A man passes this test if he's able to ignore her, withdraw his attention and commitment and tries to replace her with better women.

When the woman sees that other women desires her man and she's going to lose him to them, she becomes worried and begins to try to win his attention by being the best version of herself.

She unconsciously enters the competition to prove to the man that she's better than other women out there.
She instinctively now realizes that she still made a great choice in a man, because other women desire him and would easily replace her if given the chance.
She will try to be at her best, to prove to him that she's worth his commitment and no one else, even after marriage or children.

A lady who isn't assured of a high value man's commitment wouldn't dare to shit test him because she knows she could easily lose him and be replaced.

A man fails the test when he seems helpless about her bad behavior and begins to try to talk to her, and do things to please her, so she can return back to being the sweet girl she was.
This makes her feel she is the prize because you're trying to win her affection.
She begins to feel that she settled for less because other ladies aren't interested in him, and he doesn't have options.

Desire in a woman can't be negotiated, it can only be stimulated.

One of the ways to make a woman desire to be the best version of herself is to make her realize that other women also desire you and she could easily lose you to them if she misbehaves.

Build your relationship with a woman like a private establishment and watch her give you her best.

However, if you decide to build it like a government establishment with the assurance of job security, don't complain about her when she begins to misbehave.

A woman's actions are a reflection of her man's decisions, and she will always blame him for her actions.


Here's the link to another thread of mine that will help you if you want the best decision for a relationship

https://www.nairaland.com/7164615/costly-mistake-many-men-make

Thanks for this

Hello bene. Hope you're doing great. I noticed you deleted two of your post. I have found your teachings real solid and would love to read the deleted post and others you may have.

Wildly anticipate!