I Will cut the chase.we all love and honour our mothers but when children grow up,it is natural for them to choose their path and take responsibility for their decisions and the consequences that comes with it but I have noticed this with African mothers,when they see emotional manipulation,control, shouting, passive aggression and threatening curses is no longer working, they suddenly become offended, withdrawn and sometimes start to guilt trip you.

So my question is why do African mothers get offended because you decide to make independent decisions and stand on it with your full chest,why is it hard for them to come to terms that you are an adult capable of taking decisions without their input,help or suggestions,why do they get offended when you choose not to take their advice.why are they always so attached that it becomes a struggle letting go which doesn't take away the fact that you love them (oyinbos call it love bombing), if you are married they want to tell you how to run your marriage,if you're single they want to be in control of how you live your Life even as an adult.if you don't have children yet they want to be all up in your buisness and tell you how many children you must have,if possible they almost pry into your sexual life.they want to choose where you Work and what car you drive

If you are a man and still under the manipulation of your mother or any other woman then you have no business with marriage. Such men can’t keep and hold a marriage because the so-called mother will definitely extend her manipulative tactics and control in your home.

peepydelano:
If you are a man and still under the manipulation of your mother or any other woman then you have no business with marriage.

that's standard knowledge.every rational adult knows this.i am saying whenever you set a clear cut boundary why do they suddenly become offended? Setting boundaries doesn't mean you love her less but why the offence and guilt tripping like you have no right to your autonomy as an adult

irunoko:
that's standard knowledge.every rational adult knows this.i am saying whenever you set a clear cut boundary why do they suddenly become offended? Setting boundaries doesn't mean you love her less but why the offence and guilt tripping like you have no right to your autonomy as an adult

Guilt tripping, picking offense and what have you are all part of the manipulation, you simply IGNORE and keep doing what’s right.

peepydelano:
Guilt tripping, picking offense and what have you are all part of the manipulation, you simply IGNORE and keep doing what’s right.

thanks man

Well, someone rejecting your proposition or offer basically comes with a negative or offensive feeling.

Then such feeling is heightened if it comes from someone we love, someone we want the best for and someone we have some degree of control over.

So I think that's part of the reason if not the acual reason

UnusualEmissary:
Well, someone rejecting your proposition or offer basically comes with a negative or offensive feeling.

Then such feeling is heightened if it comes from someone we love, someone we want the best for and someone we have some degree of control over.

So I think that's part of the reason if not the acual reason

ok I accept.but why do mothers feel it is normal or possible to control their adult children.you can only advice and he/she has the right to accept or discard the advice but that love bombing and controlling behaviour is quite disturbing.or can you control another adult whether man or woman?

It is the season finale of manipulation. After seasons of manipulating the father

I asserted my independence early ever before marriage. Not that it stopped her from attempting, but I was already a stone wall

It's mostly because they believe they know more than you do and it pains them to see their lovely children taking the wrong paths, or destruction paths, so they think. And because of this, they try to manipulate you into buying into their suggestions/advices.
Well, not that these their suggestions or opinions are always right or good for you but there are ways you can wisely turn down these opinions of theirs without necessarily making them feel offended or bad.
For instance, conversation like.... Mum, I really appreciate your motherly care and advice, I know you're afraid that I'm towing wrong path but believe me, I'm not trying to scorn or devalue you or your suggestions, I just like to take this personal opinion and I promise not to involve you if the consequences turn out badly but will take the full responsibility of facing the music and learn from my mistake. That's how an adult that I am should be and that's the upbringing and lessons you've imbibed us with. Thanks for your understanding ma'am.

If an adult child can humbly request his/her mum's understanding like this and the mum still get offended or try to guilt-trip the child, then the mother, I believe, is up to something sinister.

Op, with this your nickname, you still need motherly control/manipulations.

Skyview01:
Op, with this your nickname, you still need motherly control/manipulations.

this thread is not for clowns so getat

While I dont support mother's manipulations ... I'll never place another woman over my mother
N E V E R

As you grow older, learn to make your own decisions (have a mind of your own).
Your mother/father mustn't know everything you plan to do.

Autobot05:
While I dont support mother's manipulations ... I'll never place another woman over my mother
N E V E R

Nobody asked you that.

mariahAngel:
As you grow older, learn to make your own decisions (have a mind of your own).
Your mother/father mustn't know everything you plan to do.


Nobody asked you that.

Sure and a good mother should be supportive . any form of manipulation in serious issues should be ignored. That has to do with taking your stand.


ALL women manipulate

I said that for some men here

irunoko:
this thread is not for clowns so getat

Ok. I don "getat".