Therock5555:

This would be a long read, bear with me, this is how short I can summarise everything.



On the 20th of this month, I got awoken by a brutal knock on my door. The knocker wouldn't state who they were and wouldn't stop knocking violently either, even though I just woken up, I had a gut feeling that something bad was absolutely going to happen.

I had just gotten a fresh stash of MJ earlier in the week and it was proudly sitting on my center table. I immediately grabbed it and wrapped it in my blanket before I went to get the door.

My fears were confirmed when 5 fully kitted NDLEA officers pushed me back in, demanding that I bring it out, I didn't need a soothsayer to inform me that I was so screwed but as a bad guy, I feigned ignorance.

That didn't stop them from wrecking my room thoroughly until they found my weed stash, two sweet slaps landed on both my cheeks, still they never stopped searching until my house was looking like a hurricane ran through. Not even my food items were spared.


When they were satisfied, handcuff landed on my wrists as I was led out after being allowed to put on trousers and a T-shirt.


My neighbor Hood choke as everyone wanted to see who the unlucky scapegoat was. The walk of shame was unbearable, I could see my neighbors gasping in horror, I am probably the most snobbish dude around, I do mind my business to a total dot, I don't roll with area folks, I hardly laugh with anybody except you find favour in my eyes, I keep to myself, hence I was arrested alone.


Two brothers were picked up from a hotel nearby before we arrived at their holding facility. It all felt like a dream until we were flung into a rather large cell which had approximately eight other guys, the Jail 'Presido' as he was referred to had an amputated left arm.


As per 'comrades in 'Igboh', we were asked reasons for being there and spent some minutes getting to know ourselves. A rural leader's son was there also, dude was blowing dope and strolling on the road when he was accosted. The Presido asked us to feel welcomed and gave us some tips on what to do next in order to be freed quickly.


The cell is a hundred times better than that of a Police station, there was a small short rug carpet where the Presido and his vice sat or laid, another big mat contained the others, we the new entrants had to manage bare floor. Thankfully there were no bed bugs or insects, and the stink wasn't too bad, a plastic bucket was placed at one corner for urine collection. The only time the place smelled would be when someone wanted to take a leak and uncover the bucket. Damn.



We the new comers were taken out to write down statements and call who would come bail us. I placed three calls to sure contacts but the major thing on my mind was how to drop update on my story thread, unfortunately my big phone was seized, so I had to manage the small one for calls, the phone had to be on speaker phone so that the officers could hear what ever was being communicated.


Unluckily, no one came for me that day, I was hungry like mad but I lacked appetite until I gave up hope and managed to partake in somebody's food after the Presido asked me to join the person.

As the Presido, any food that was brought for any of the inmates, he had the first choice of either partaking or taking which ever part of the food or drink before the owner of the food eats.

Before nightfall, five more guys were arrested, everywhere became congested. The way I laid down, I couldn't even turn or stretch my legs because I'll touch someone, somebody's legs were next to my head, my eyes were open all night long cause the leg kept falling on my head, damn it was dreadful, that was my first night in jail since I was born, I truly hated myself.

Next day, one of my called contacts arrived and started negotiations, I wasn't privy to how much was discussed, I was only brought out so he could identify me before I was taken back to cell.

While he went to source for funds, the second contact I called arrived and promptly told them that my folks were in town, me wey write for statement say my people don park go back village, Choi naso matter wear Mini skirt.

They collected my dad's number and called him, not before mercilessly kicking my ass for writing false statement. My dad wasn't even In town that day but he promised to be back the next day.

The first contact was called to abort his fund raising mission because my dad took over the case. Naso my supposed one night turned to two nights.

On the third day my dad arrived and completely refueled the situation, he was expectedly very mad at me and fully committed me into their hands.
Matured man like me, I was being dragged from one office to another like generator rope, kneeling down and being trampled around like I robbed CBN.

My folks left without so much as a word to me. When I was thrown back to cell, the other guys were shocked to see me return, they couldn't believe that I wasn't freed yet. I didn't mind either, I had grown quite fond of the cell because food choke die, and I was already up to the position of vice Presido, the current Presido had only one leg, the former one was bailed out that morning.


Those NDLEA officers are raking in cash like crazy, the lowest bail collected per head was 15k, and that's if your folks know how to negotiate well, if you fall maga, them go collect you.

One G-boy that was caught with his babe shelled out 50k without complaining despite the fact that no single exhibit was found on him, he managed to throw away what he had on him before he was apprehended, but he still paid nonetheless.


My dad returned a day later with a new pair of clothing for me, I was glad I'll finally be out, he informed me that he'll be right back. Hahahahaha. I saw him two days later, Right back my foot, that man left back me, he simply paid for someone to bring me food twice a day.


Nobody spent more than 2-3 days there, if you did, then probability is that you'll be sent to Maximum prison in the state capital.
My hair that I have never completely cut since 2010 was ravaged with scissors, that was the first time scissors was touching my hair too, I still received 12 scintillating lashes on my back as payment for the dreadful haircut, I swear two drops of tears comot from my eyes, tears I never knew still existed, strong man in the trenches.

One of the officers really helped me, he was charging my small phone and taking my calls while passing me information when he could. We were allowed a phone call per day and toilet section only in the morning, afterwards, you're OYO.

To cut long story short, I finally became the only person left in the Cell, naso I became king for my lane, I was miserable, I'll spend all day singing to myself and rethinking about everything I could think off. I managed to remove a nail from the ceiling (don't ask me how, spider Man movies no be lie), and proceeded to incript my name on the wall of Fame which contained dozens of other names, I never shyed away from adding "Füçk NDLEA" any chance I got.



The officer that was charging my phone became concerned after awhile when he realized that I wasn't leaving there soon, I pleaded that he helped sign my undertaking letter to get me out, he agreed but informed me after enquires from his superiors that I was slated to remain there for atleast two months to recover completely. My folks felt that was the right decision for me.

Nobody asked for my consent, I was treated like a three year old, see old man like me dey knee down up and down.

When I got to know my dire situation, I faked an immediate Malaria syndrome, I threw up at a moment's notice and grabbed my head while rolling and shivering like an epileptic patient. That got their attention. Before then I only had opportunity to bathe once every two days cause I was allowed out by 6am everyday just to either sweep offices and pour out the bucket used for urine collection or use the latrine.

But due to my supposed condition, hot water was heated and I was even given Dettol soap to bathe with, the officers even bought more food for me and I was allowed to sleep in their boss office.

My folks were called and everything were signed, even though I still sorted out my bail money myself. Atleast I don comot.




Anyway I'm back to my parent's house. Back to square one, my properties were either sold, given out while few were returned back to my parent's house.

Heck I was smiling that no one touched my PlayStation, atleast I can continue my rehab at home while gaming all day long and eating mercilessly.

The down side is that, I'm being treated like a drug junkie, all my accounts have been seized and I'm only given money for specific things. Nothing spoil Sha, atleast I'll use this as a motivation to stop cruise.


I spent approximately seven days there, I swear it felt like 700 years....

God no go shame us...

why did they come for you in particular?

VawulenceProMax:
why did they come for you in particular?

Isn't my write up obvious enough? Of course somebody snitched on me, certainly a close pal or neighbor who had chilled with me earlier that week or days...

Therock5555:



If you agree to send me the money, I'll tell you.



Me too I've been lowkey to a fault, I don't even have time to greet nobody, my head phones are always on.

Still bad belly folks make squad reach my house, one can't be too careful though, fake folks and haters choke everywhere.

You smoke inside your room... Your neighbours might have reported you due to the smell

iamL:


You see! if not that you threatened them with the law it would have been different. That is the reason i said they behave when they know one has a rugged legal backup.

True sometimes we just have to survive in this country with Sense.

You should have stated "Well connected"

Therock5555:


Dude I'm between 27-30, pick any one that suits you.


As long as you've got parents, you're still a baby to them.

One love bruh.

It seems like you're not yet feeding your parents.

Laurene:
You smoke inside your room... Your neighbours might have reported you due to the smell

All my nebos na stoners

Laurene:
It seems like you're not yet feeding your parents.

Why are you even quoting me, it's been over a year ma'am.


And why should I feed my parents, it's not like they're all old and weary, everybody feeds them selves, they even earn higher than I do but I still handle my own responsibilities around the home.

And Yes, I still stay with my folks, but we live independent lives, na evening time everybody dey see each other.


Next time slide in my DM, or send me a message on Whatsapp, don't resurrect this thread again.

Gracias..

Therock5555:

This would be a long read, bear with me, this is how short I can summarise everything.



On the 20th of this month, I got awoken by a brutal knock on my door. The knocker wouldn't state who they were and wouldn't stop knocking violently either, even though I just woken up, I had a gut feeling that something bad was absolutely going to happen.

I had just gotten a fresh stash of MJ earlier in the week and it was proudly sitting on my center table. I immediately grabbed it and wrapped it in my blanket before I went to get the door.

My fears were confirmed when 5 fully kitted NDLEA officers pushed me back in, demanding that I bring it out, I didn't need a soothsayer to inform me that I was so screwed but as a bad guy, I feigned ignorance.

That didn't stop them from wrecking my room thoroughly until they found my weed stash, two sweet slaps landed on both my cheeks, still they never stopped searching until my house was looking like a hurricane ran through. Not even my food items were spared.


When they were satisfied, handcuff landed on my wrists as I was led out after being allowed to put on trousers and a T-shirt.


My neighbor Hood choke as everyone wanted to see who the unlucky scapegoat was. The walk of shame was unbearable, I could see my neighbors gasping in horror, I am probably the most snobbish dude around, I do mind my business to a total dot, I don't roll with area folks, I hardly laugh with anybody except you find favour in my eyes, I keep to myself, hence I was arrested alone.


Two brothers were picked up from a hotel nearby before we arrived at their holding facility. It all felt like a dream until we were flung into a rather large cell which had approximately eight other guys, the Jail 'Presido' as he was referred to had an amputated left arm.


As per 'comrades in 'Igboh', we were asked reasons for being there and spent some minutes getting to know ourselves. A rural leader's son was there also, dude was blowing dope and strolling on the road when he was accosted. The Presido asked us to feel welcomed and gave us some tips on what to do next in order to be freed quickly.


The cell is a hundred times better than that of a Police station, there was a small short rug carpet where the Presido and his vice sat or laid, another big mat contained the others, we the new entrants had to manage bare floor. Thankfully there were no bed bugs or insects, and the stink wasn't too bad, a plastic bucket was placed at one corner for urine collection. The only time the place smelled would be when someone wanted to take a leak and uncover the bucket. Damn.



We the new comers were taken out to write down statements and call who would come bail us. I placed three calls to sure contacts but the major thing on my mind was how to drop update on my story thread, unfortunately my big phone was seized, so I had to manage the small one for calls, the phone had to be on speaker phone so that the officers could hear what ever was being communicated.


Unluckily, no one came for me that day, I was hungry like mad but I lacked appetite until I gave up hope and managed to partake in somebody's food after the Presido asked me to join the person.

As the Presido, any food that was brought for any of the inmates, he had the first choice of either partaking or taking which ever part of the food or drink before the owner of the food eats.

Before nightfall, five more guys were arrested, everywhere became congested. The way I laid down, I couldn't even turn or stretch my legs because I'll touch someone, somebody's legs were next to my head, my eyes were open all night long cause the leg kept falling on my head, damn it was dreadful, that was my first night in jail since I was born, I truly hated myself.

Next day, one of my called contacts arrived and started negotiations, I wasn't privy to how much was discussed, I was only brought out so he could identify me before I was taken back to cell.

While he went to source for funds, the second contact I called arrived and promptly told them that my folks were in town, me wey write for statement say my people don park go back village, Choi naso matter wear Mini skirt.

They collected my dad's number and called him, not before mercilessly kicking my ass for writing false statement. My dad wasn't even In town that day but he promised to be back the next day.

The first contact was called to abort his fund raising mission because my dad took over the case. Naso my supposed one night turned to two nights.

On the third day my dad arrived and completely refueled the situation, he was expectedly very mad at me and fully committed me into their hands.
Matured man like me, I was being dragged from one office to another like generator rope, kneeling down and being trampled around like I robbed CBN.

My folks left without so much as a word to me. When I was thrown back to cell, the other guys were shocked to see me return, they couldn't believe that I wasn't freed yet. I didn't mind either, I had grown quite fond of the cell because food choke die, and I was already up to the position of vice Presido, the current Presido had only one leg, the former one was bailed out that morning.


Those NDLEA officers are raking in cash like crazy, the lowest bail collected per head was 15k, and that's if your folks know how to negotiate well, if you fall maga, them go collect you.

One G-boy that was caught with his babe shelled out 50k without complaining despite the fact that no single exhibit was found on him, he managed to throw away what he had on him before he was apprehended, but he still paid nonetheless.


My dad returned a day later with a new pair of clothing for me, I was glad I'll finally be out, he informed me that he'll be right back. Hahahahaha. I saw him two days later, Right back my foot, that man left back me, he simply paid for someone to bring me food twice a day.


Nobody spent more than 2-3 days there, if you did, then probability is that you'll be sent to Maximum prison in the state capital.
My hair that I have never completely cut since 2010 was ravaged with scissors, that was the first time scissors was touching my hair too, I still received 12 scintillating lashes on my back as payment for the dreadful haircut, I swear two drops of tears comot from my eyes, tears I never knew still existed, strong man in the trenches.

One of the officers really helped me, he was charging my small phone and taking my calls while passing me information when he could. We were allowed a phone call per day and toilet section only in the morning, afterwards, you're OYO.

To cut long story short, I finally became the only person left in the Cell, naso I became king for my lane, I was miserable, I'll spend all day singing to myself and rethinking about everything I could think off. I managed to remove a nail from the ceiling (don't ask me how, spider Man movies no be lie), and proceeded to incript my name on the wall of Fame which contained dozens of other names, I never shyed away from adding "Füçk NDLEA" any chance I got.



The officer that was charging my phone became concerned after awhile when he realized that I wasn't leaving there soon, I pleaded that he helped sign my undertaking letter to get me out, he agreed but informed me after enquires from his superiors that I was slated to remain there for atleast two months to recover completely. My folks felt that was the right decision for me.

Nobody asked for my consent, I was treated like a three year old, see old man like me dey knee down up and down.

When I got to know my dire situation, I faked an immediate Malaria syndrome, I threw up at a moment's notice and grabbed my head while rolling and shivering like an epileptic patient. That got their attention. Before then I only had opportunity to bathe once every two days cause I was allowed out by 6am everyday just to either sweep offices and pour out the bucket used for urine collection or use the latrine.

But due to my supposed condition, hot water was heated and I was even given Dettol soap to bathe with, the officers even bought more food for me and I was allowed to sleep in their boss office.

My folks were called and everything were signed, even though I still sorted out my bail money myself. Atleast I don comot.




Anyway I'm back to my parent's house. Back to square one, my properties were either sold, given out while few were returned back to my parent's house.

Heck I was smiling that no one touched my PlayStation, atleast I can continue my rehab at home while gaming all day long and eating mercilessly.

The down side is that, I'm being treated like a drug junkie, all my accounts have been seized and I'm only given money for specific things. Nothing spoil Sha, atleast I'll use this as a motivation to stop cruise.


I spent approximately seven days there, I swear it felt like 700 years....

God no go shame us...

First of all my belle fine burst for laughing here

Guy you be legend, it's 2024 now,hope your doing better s and things become stable

You've got some talent in writing, I enjoyed every bit of it.

Your story reminds me of the first and only time I ran into the NDLEA chaps around 2016 or thereabout.

I had to travel down East for my parternal uncle's burial and I loathed the idea of asking village people where I could get weed. So I decided to buy a small quantity that I was sure would last me throughout three days stay over there.

So the next day, I set out early and boarded a bummer bus at Jibowu going down to Owerri. While the other passengers and I were waiting for the rest passengers to arrive and fill up the bus, I strolled out of the park and lit up a joint. It was stl dark and there were less pedestrians on the major road that housed the park.

I was already halfway through when the driver announced loudly that he was ready to roll. So I quenched the roach, put it in my breath pocket intending to smoke the rest when we get to Ore or Benin for a rest and some leg stretching.

The journey was very smooth, no undue hold-ups and the few checkpoints we came upon were those of mostly police and army just needing the usual driver's tip. Everyone in the bus was enjoying the trip as the driver who must have been a religious fellow was playing some sweet Igbo gospel music all the way.

We did stop at Ore but not to eat. The driver just wanted us to stretch our legs and relive ourselves if pressed. So we spent just less than five minutes making it impossible for me to relight my half-finished joint. We continued our journey.

As we were approaching Umunede in Delta State, we were on top of a hill coming down and the road spread out before us looking like a long, black,shiny carpet. I looked infront of me and I could see two other Hummer buses far in the distant front on either side of the road. As we got closer I could see another vehicle, a white Hilux parked in front of the Hummer bus on the right.

While our bus was about 200m away, a man stepped into the middle of the road and started to wave his hands at our driver, indicating that he should pullover. Every passenger started to, you know, started to complain in the characteristic manner we do whenever we sight these government officials. They were like,"wetin these ones want now", "we Don nearly reach where we go come down chop na im these ones want come dey stop us".

So our driver drove the bus to a stop at the spot the official who by now we could see was an NDLEA personnel directed him. We could see the passengers of the other buses gathered together and talking among themselves and we also saw four other officials with guns ready.

The fellow that stopped our bus came over and greeted our driver. Then he came around and pulled open the sliding door. After looking around the interior of the bus, he suddenly pointed at me to come down. Chai! My heart immediately skipped a two beats. At that moment, I remembered with horror that I had hidden the weed I bought in my backpack! My brain was still trying to find a way to avoid detection when the man inquired if I was the owner of the bag in front of me. I replied in the affarmative and he told me to bring it along with me.

I got down with my bag and he took it and searched it. He found the small weed easily because I didn't really hide it, just put it among my clothes. I wasn't expecting anything like this could happen. He then asked me why is the quantity so small? Didn't I have some more for them? I just kept mum. And then he searched my pockets and found the half joint. Then he laughed wickedly and led me away to their parked Hilux. As we were going, he looked back and told the driver to continue his journey.

That's how they pushed me into the back of the Hilux where I met another guy, probably from one of the buses we saw. My fellow passenger all came down with the driver and started to plead with the NDLEA men. They were told to continue their journey, that they have their man already. But they kept on pleading for my sake.

By this time, the initial fear had started to wear off and I began to find my voice which had left me the moment I was asked to step out of the bus. So I joined the passengers in begging the officers but they just laughed. After about 10minutes of begging, they took me to one side and told me that if I wanted to continue my journey with my other passengers, that I should pay N50,000! That was when I knew that I was in deep shit, infact I almost poopooed on my body after hearing N50,000 when all I had on me was just N6000.

I began talking to them gently while trying to negotiate the amount they asked me to pay. They insisted on the amount. Sometime later the driver came around and when he was told how much to release me, he also began to plead with them to accept a lower amount. At the end sha, they agreed to collect N20,000.

I had about N25,000 I'm my account. So I begged them to let me transfer the amount to them but they refused point-blank, telling me that do I want to implicate them? I told them that I have only 6k with me on hand. After more threatenings and such, they collected the money from me. Of course the weed was confisticated.

It was no small embarrassment when I joined the other passengers to continue our journey which was interrupted for close to thirty minutes because of error. I had to apologize for the delay I caused them and also thanked them for their assistance. And to make matters worse, there was this fine gurl that sat beside me that I was trying to befriend. Shame couldn't let me even look her again in the eye as I was doing before we encountered the NDLEA guys. I just relaxed back in my seat, closed my eyes and feigned to be asleep while thanking God from the bottom of my heart for saving me that day.

As soon as we got to the park, I was the first to jump out, immediately walking very quickly away from the bus while looking out for the next vehicle to take me straight to my destination.

Lesson learnt, never take unnecessary risks.