The society( religion and culture) has tempered the idea of likeability of young girls depriving them as a full human.

The society( religion and culture) has deprived young girls as a full woman and making them to accept likeability as a way of life.

Any time I raise these topic of likeability, the eyes of people on me look strange. They seems not to get it,

“why must you say a girl should reject likeability”.

As I carry my readers through these opinion of mine you will understand my stand on the rejection of likeability on the female part thereby rejecting the society integration of such mentality on the young girls in the society.

OPINION 1

SOCIETY PORTRAY A WOMAN SHOULD NOT BE ANGRY BUT PORTRAY AN ATTITUDE OF BEEN LIKED.( wrong ideology)

This ideology is totally wrong because the women are human and we have different temperament so judging by it is totally bad. So a young girl should not express her feelings on something bordering her because she have to present likeability ideology.

Again the society( religion and culture) feel women should not get angry or aggressive so they can be likable by their counterpart in church, organizations and place of work.

A women who is angry or aggressive has the tendency of not getting a good husband. So she has to control her angry so she can be likable in the society.

The society( religion and culture) over the years has made the females to accept likeability as a way of life.

OPINION 2

SOCIETY PORTRAY OF A WOMAN AS A WIFE MATERIAL USING THE IDEOLOGY OF LIKEABILITY (wrong ideology)

Here the society promote the idea of likeability in respect to the females in the society there by telling them to portray the attitude of likeability appearances so they can become a tagged will usually call “WIFE MATERIAL’’

A women who is angry or aggressive has the tendency of not getting a good husband. So she has to control her angry so she can be likable in the society.

With this she started portraying WIFE MATERIAL attitude among individuals so she can be LIKEABLE.

OPINION 3

SOCIETY CHANNELING OF LIKEABILITY TO MODESTY(wrong ideology)

If you notice very well, for her to be likeable she have to be modest in what she does in the society.

Check this out ---

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Here is what most evangelical preacher talks about Modesty- ””” A WOMAN SHOULD NOT TALK MORE ABOUT ACHIEVEMENT, SHE SHOULD NOT ACHIEVE MUCH, OR SHOULD NOT OWN MUCH PROPERTY BECAUSE OF THE IDEA OF MODESTY “””

What I understand from the above statement is the fact that woman should be modest in her achievement, anger, appearance, intelligent, career/job pursuit and her establishment as a female.

Again the notion of “LIKEABILITY ” feel women should have modesty so not to get angry or aggressive so they can be likable by their counterpart in church, organizations and place of work.

Achievement, anger, appearance, intelligent, career/job pursuit and establishment as a female should fall under moderate level so she can be liked by individual in the society.

Most individuals advice women to be submissive, not pursue leadership roles and not speak out too much in mixed company.

Here the society in connection with "LIKEABILITY" is narrowing modesty to femininity. Modesty goes to both gender. I guess the society is been biased here.

CONSEQUENCES OF LIKEABILITY ON A YOUNG WOMEN

The society( religion and culture) deprive a young girl as a full human, all she know is about her likeability from the opposite sex.

1. This likeability concept is a cage most sexual abusers use to put women in a position not to call out such abusers, so the women will like to have her likeability stand in the society.

2. Some persons who no longer identify with their religious pasts and belief—are organizing to expose the ways this manner of likeability creates a toxic environment that enables abuser and rapist to thread on.

Even the cultures has integrated the ideas that women should accept likeability in the society, if they need to be liked by people (especially the assaulted) they have to keep quiet about such things.



For example,

A. using the aspect of marriage, a women who is sexually abuse has no say based on the likeability approach used by the society( religion and culture) , so she has to be pure all through so she can get a husband who will marry her as a virgin and she pretends and act likeable and she got in to emotional and psychological thoughts about the sexual assaults and the family of the girl keep it away from her future husband or her husband.

B. keeping her virginity also, here since she is a virgin she uphold that with her life, she have been told by the society( religion and culture) that if she keep it she will find a good HUSBAND. she does every thing to remain in that notion of being LIKEABLE by her opposite sex or same sex. Or she is been tagged as a WIFE MATERIAL.

CONCLUSION

The purpose of this write-up/articles was to let my readers know that preaching or educating a girl child about LIKEABILITY influences her life style in complex ways in terms of their physical, emotion and social behaviour. It is my hope that the society can create a positive paradigm shift of of this concept of LIKEABILITY about women. It’s time to move away from the conventional approach about female likeability and embrace a more appropriate and holistic way toward it.

I have to end this write up with one of my favourite mentor FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the eight Suggestion

""""""""'''' Teach her to reject likeability. Her job is not to make herself likeable, her job is to be her fullself, a self that is honest and aware of the equal humanity of other people.

Please do not ever put this pressure on your daughter. We teach girls to be likeable, to benice, to be false. And we do not teach boys the same. This is dangerous. Many sexual predatorshave capitalized on this. Many girls remain silent when abused because they want to be nice.

Many girls spend too much time trying to be ‘nice’ to people who do them harm. Many girlsthink of the ‘feelings’ of those who are hurting them. This is the catastrophic consequence oflikeability. We have a world full of women who are unable to exhale fully because they havefor so long been conditioned to fold themselves into shapes to make themselves likeable. So instead of teaching Chizalum to be likeable, teach her to be honest. And kind.

Tell her that if anything ever makes her uncomfortable, tospeak up, to say it, to shout.Show her that she does not need to be liked by everyone. Tell her that if someone does notlike her, there will be someone else who will. Teach her that she is not merely an object to beliked or disliked, she is also a subject who can like or dislike. """""""""

COMPETING INTERESTS

I declare that I have no financial or personal relationships that may have inappropriately influenced me in writing this article. I write this articles based on my experience with those who have kept that notion that “ A WOMEN MUST HAVE THE IDEA OF LIKEABILITY IN THE SOCIETY "

Readers are free to err their view and to go against my idea, am open for opposition of such ideas.

Written by:

Kogwuonye Patrick Onyeka

Writer/Blogger/Educator/Tutor

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