How Do I End All The Relationship Between Myself, Parents And Only Brother - Family - Nairaland
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| How Do I End All The Relationship Between Myself, Parents And Only Brother by Ijelenwanyioma: 5:01pm On Mar 03, 2023 |
I am gradually falling into depression and I am 5months pregnant. I have a brother I love so much. We are just 2 and I am older than him. Honestly this boy has taken advantage of being the only son to be extremely misbehaving. With the little money I am making from my business, I have tried several times to set up a business for this boy. My daddy has sold all his land just to see this boy grow but he always end up squandering everything on drug. He has been to psychiatric hospital on 2 different occasions and I was the one that paid for every dime spent there. He has a girlfriend that is just like him, very rude, mannerless and nasty. She has unapologetically insulted everyone including my parents. My brother is 32years and has lived with me several times before getting an apartment. So recently a prophet told my dad to get him a wife and he will never misbehave again and can also start giving birth. My brother insisted on marrying his girlfriend which everyone was against but my dad just have to do it. My poor dad spent his hard earned money on the marriage rite and paying for their apartment, the girl got pregnant. I promised to buy all the baby things they will be needing. For the past 6 months, my 75yrs old father has not been working and feeling well. I have been the one taking care of all his responsibilities both feeding and medicals. My dad will always call to report my brother wife to me that the girl is always asking him money in very rude manner. At a time, I told my dad to stop picking her calls. Last year Nov, my brother asked me for 200k which I told him I don't have because the 1m I gave him before was wasted. So I invited my dad to lagos so I can take him to a good hospital and my brother and his wife came to visit him. After much talk, I told her to never call my dad and ask him money again because the man is no longer working and sick. She said she has not been asking my daddy money. I asked her if she's calling my daddy a liar and she said yes my daddy is a bloody liar and I am so stupid to believe what my daddy told me. I told her to leave my house and she started screaming and abusing me. My brother stood there and also joined her abusing me telling me that if I can't accept his wife then I should forget about him. The wife refuse to go, she told me to do my worst. Thank God for neighbours that intervene before she left. It's been 3 months I ended every relationship between me and my brother. Now my parents is calling me that I should make peace with my brother. My mother has been supporting my brother and show it clear to me that he's more important than me despite everything I am doing for her. She has been the one pushing my dad to tell me to call my brother and make peace with him. I told my father I can never do it and both me and my kids will never have anything to do with his son and his family again. I love my father so much and I have noticed he don't pick my calls again like before. Honestly I wish I have the mind to block all of them and just concentrate on my life and kids. But I can't just forget my father like that and I can never beg my junior brother too. I don't just know what to do They are telling me he's a man and I shouldn't expect him to beg rather I should be the one to beg him 6 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: How Do I End All The Relationship Between Myself, Parents And Only Brother by Nobody: 5:08pm On Mar 03, 2023 |
Ijelenwanyioma: NNE, the writing is on the wall. Leave your brother for now to face his life. Be firm if need be, involve appropriate authorities if need be. Its all for his n your own good Modified You have a responsibility to your unborn child n children as a good mother. Other than career development and your personal relationship with God, trust me, nothing else matters. Las las, you won't even remember or meet yourselves in heaven, if heavenly gains are part of the reasons restraining you. Udo. 7 Likes |
| Re: How Do I End All The Relationship Between Myself, Parents And Only Brother by budaatum: 5:12pm On Mar 03, 2023 |
Ijelenwanyioma: If you agree with the above, please call your brother and fall on your knees when you beg him and his wife for abusing you. But if you don't agree, then kindly tell your parents to go beg their son who insulted them. You are worthy of more respect and regard than you are being shown by your brother and his wife and your parents, and standing for your rightful respect and regard is the only thing that will teach them to respect and regard you. As for How "Do I End All The Relationship Between Myself, Parents And Only Brother?" Be strong and just stop pandering to their silly demands. 7 Likes 2 Shares
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| Re: How Do I End All The Relationship Between Myself, Parents And Only Brother by Ijelenwanyioma: 5:21pm On Mar 03, 2023 |
budaatum:Thank you sir 🥺 1 Like |
| Re: How Do I End All The Relationship Between Myself, Parents And Only Brother by FORHII: 5:21pm On Mar 03, 2023 |
Drug? First of all he doesn't need any business but rehabilitation. After he is cleaned up, then he can plan his life. |
| Re: How Do I End All The Relationship Between Myself, Parents And Only Brother by Mindlog: 5:22pm On Mar 03, 2023 |
Your parents "misraised" your brother and continues to enable him. You don't owe him any apology even if he has been made a deity by your parents. You have to go into "tough love" mode and be assertive. Focus on your own life and don't feel guilty for the mess your brother has made his life to be Go to Neuropsychiatric hospitals in Enugu, Isele-ukwu, Aro, Yaba etc there is an uncomfortable percentage of "only son" as patients..... something is definitely wrong with the parenting they received. Never give even one naira to him anymore, your brother is a lost cause and that is the FACt, let your parents continue to pamper him as they continue to live in denial . 5 Likes |
| Re: How Do I End All The Relationship Between Myself, Parents And Only Brother by Ijelenwanyioma: 5:22pm On Mar 03, 2023 |
macbede:Thanks for your advice sir 1 Like |
| Re: How Do I End All The Relationship Between Myself, Parents And Only Brother by dawnomike(m): 5:23pm On Mar 03, 2023 |
Ijelenwanyioma:Quite unfortunate that your family is like that... Make peace for the sake of your dad's health but keep your distance as much as possible afterwards. Your brother and his so called wife will understand life sooner or later 1 Like |
| Re: How Do I End All The Relationship Between Myself, Parents And Only Brother by Aonkuuse(m): 5:29pm On Mar 03, 2023 |
dear... run for your life oo, don't fall for it, let everyone be. you will even have to change your line if need be. They did not give birth to you so they will later kill you. Run as fast as you can, let them stay with their half dead son. i am very sure they will come looking for your forgiveness later. 2 Likes |
| Re: How Do I End All The Relationship Between Myself, Parents And Only Brother by deathmen12: 5:31pm On Mar 03, 2023 |
These should set an example on how to train your male children, because parents have this bad habit of training the female children and leave the male children to misbehave, you guys have spoiled him all in the name of the only son, only son my foot. at 32 if he still behave like this, then I fear for you and your parents, wait o where you expecting him to marry a reasonable girl so that he can stress another person’s daughter? NO WAY. My advise is this just ignore your parents emotional blackmail and let the baby adult sort himself out for now...I hate it when adult behave stupidly 4 Likes |
| Re: How Do I End All The Relationship Between Myself, Parents And Only Brother by Ijelenwanyioma: 5:32pm On Mar 03, 2023 |
dawnomike:Sir it is not like I can't make peace but begging them will bring more insult to me and they will always remind me how I begged them in the past. Those are kids I'm 6yrs older than. Why are my parents making me feel less of human? Why are they letting me know female child is not important in igbo land? I placed them on salary and have been trying my best to see them happy. Honestly I'm heartbroken 😭😭😭 4 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: How Do I End All The Relationship Between Myself, Parents And Only Brother by Mindlog: 5:32pm On Mar 03, 2023 |
FORHII: He is beyond rehabilitation. |
| Re: How Do I End All The Relationship Between Myself, Parents And Only Brother by Nobody: 5:32pm On Mar 03, 2023 |
. 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: How Do I End All The Relationship Between Myself, Parents And Only Brother by dawnomike(m): 5:49pm On Mar 03, 2023 |
Ijelenwanyioma:I can really understand how you feel. Biko, don't allow that to weigh you down. Just keep doing your part. |
| Re: How Do I End All The Relationship Between Myself, Parents And Only Brother by sisisioge: 6:15pm On Mar 03, 2023 |
 Your family sef sounds so funny! You should call to apologize to your wayward younger brother because he is a man? The same man you pick his bills! No wonder he turned out the way he did, all of you kept enabling him. If you cant stay off him and the lot of them, whatever happens to you eventually is your cup of kunu! as for your parents, call them whenever you want to greet them, if they dont pick your calls, you have tried. By the way, I can guess your tribe, you guys practically worship the Male gender! Imagine the fockery...32yo problem child! 7 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: How Do I End All The Relationship Between Myself, Parents And Only Brother by sisisioge: 6:21pm On Mar 03, 2023 |
Ijelenwanyioma: You see! I guessed your tribe correctly! Better lockup and dey your dey. They birthed and raised him, he is not your problem! Stop making him your problem. Infact, to get them to call you, start delaying their salary until they call. Imagine you being so responsible but yet being disrespected like that. If only you can tough up! Hian! 7 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: How Do I End All The Relationship Between Myself, Parents And Only Brother by Duchessree(f): 6:30pm On Mar 03, 2023 |
You have your own family now, focus on them. 1 Like |
| Re: How Do I End All The Relationship Between Myself, Parents And Only Brother by Karlifate: 6:49pm On Mar 03, 2023 |
Virtually every family has that one that child, that's a thorn in their flesh, and gives them sleepless nights. It seems like a form of karma. 1 Like |
| Re: How Do I End All The Relationship Between Myself, Parents And Only Brother by Lance008(m): 7:33pm On Mar 03, 2023 |
Don't beg anybody Ur junior bro is crazy Does he think life is easy Am also in same shoe presently have cut off everyone I can't kill myself for who don't care about my well been If u beg ur bro u also begging his wife 1 Like |
| Re: How Do I End All The Relationship Between Myself, Parents And Only Brother by Stevenbright(m): 7:54pm On Mar 03, 2023 |
Ijelenwanyioma: Although your dad made the mistake of selling off his landed properties for the sake of a carefree child, don't end relationship with your parents but totally cut off your brother and his wife. It is by so doing that they will see the need to be serious with their lives instead of waiting for handouts. |
| Re: How Do I End All The Relationship Between Myself, Parents And Only Brother by adeememman(m): 8:09pm On Mar 03, 2023 |
Ijelenwanyioma: Print this, frame it and hang it on the wall of your room " Your sanity and peace of mind comes first in anything you do". You see all this brother, sister, mummy, daddy thing, don't let anyone blackmail you emotionally. May your parents live long but they won't always be around forever. Draw your limits. Try and reconcile with your brother (not beg). Infact during the reconciliation make your points know like you will do anything to help if it's within your capacity as everyone have their personal responsibility. As for your parents, you need to be patient with them, one thing your father want is peace. Make peace with everyone but that doesn't mean you grant all their request against your convenience Above all pray for God's guidance. 1 Like |
| Re: How Do I End All The Relationship Between Myself, Parents And Only Brother by Jozilinn: 8:10pm On Mar 03, 2023 |
Leave them alone and focus on your family,why would they be supporting a 32 year old man that doesn't work are they proud as parents? You are not worthless respect yourself and your family cod God forbid tomorrow if you die,that family of yours would never help your kids... never go close to them again, they will change themselves. Your parents especially your dad is just so weak letting your mum take advantage of him. Your brother is like that because of your mum, leave her to bear the consequences alone, and learn from it too. 1 Like |
| Re: How Do I End All The Relationship Between Myself, Parents And Only Brother by Beremx(f): 8:11pm On Mar 03, 2023 |
Your brother is feeling like an Alpha Male. Too proud to beg you because he's the only son. Please stay away from your brother and let your parents know your decision. If possible involve your other family matters that you can't continue spending money on your brother who doesn't want to change for good. It is well 1 Like |
| Re: How Do I End All The Relationship Between Myself, Parents And Only Brother by Nemesis0147(m): 9:29pm On Mar 03, 2023 |
Bullshit!! If what you narrates here is true,,Let them be…they will come looking for you at the end of the day…. 1 Like |
| Re: How Do I End All The Relationship Between Myself, Parents And Only Brother by Sucre6: 9:56pm On Mar 03, 2023 |
My dear, have u asked your self these questions? If I die now, would all my family member life end? Had it been I don't have resources to always support my mumu brother, I am sure your family will relegate you like you dont even exist If the answer is no then u owe no one any obligation, but in anything u do, don't forget mummy and daddy, even if they don't pick your calls, try and send them money for feeding as much as u can, but u see that your mumu brother? Ignore the idiot, don't pick his calls, allow the werey to face his family like a man he is supposed to be, don't let no one blackmail you from taking bullish!t from no one, you are only answerable to God and your parents alone, , you have paid your dues on your brother's life, let him get the Fvck out and be a man to support his own family. 1 Like |
| Re: How Do I End All The Relationship Between Myself, Parents And Only Brother by RomanGreen: 10:59pm On Mar 03, 2023 |
Una dey try o, is it when you drop dead that you will understand people are selfish? Ask yourself should something happen to you, will your brother cater for your kids and parents? Look, you better focus on your life and parents. God forbid anything happens to you, that your brother and his wicked wife will deal mercilessly with your kids. Snap out of that emotional blackmail and take charge of your life. Health is wealth, depression is real. Make hay while the sun shines. Enough said 3 Likes |
| Re: How Do I End All The Relationship Between Myself, Parents And Only Brother by faithfull18(f): 11:16pm On Mar 03, 2023 |
Karlifate:This isn't true. |
| Re: How Do I End All The Relationship Between Myself, Parents And Only Brother by Ishilove: 7:08am On Mar 04, 2023 |
budaatum:It is very obvious from her narration that the parents spoiled the boy, now he is a thorn in the neck and they are still pandering to his whims 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: How Do I End All The Relationship Between Myself, Parents And Only Brother by Karlifate: 7:54am On Mar 04, 2023 |
faithfull18: Minority exceptions doesn't nullify the majority examples. 2 Likes |
| Re: How Do I End All The Relationship Between Myself, Parents And Only Brother by Ijelenwanyioma: 8:09am On Mar 04, 2023 |
God bless everyone. Honestly I am glad putting this up here because after reading all the advices, I feel good and know that I am important too. I really appreciate 🙏 |
| Re: How Do I End All The Relationship Between Myself, Parents And Only Brother by boxer022(m): 9:08am On Mar 04, 2023 |
You are right in your decision to cut ties with your rude younger brother, but I want to appeal to you not to abandon your parents at this age. You can be doing things for your parents without them knowing, even as much as you want to maintain steady communication between you and them, you have to make do with the way he responds to you. As for your brother, you have done more than enough for him and will not kill yourself for him. He thinks he is acting right and there will be no repercussion but that is not the case. He forgot that what goes around comes around. |
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