Dapo and Bola, both 38, have been married for 8 years and have two kids. Dapo works full-time, while Bola works part-time and spends the rest of her time doing household chores, paying bills and taking care of the kids.

On the weekends, Bola usually has a list of things needed done around the house, such as mowing the yard or washing the car, to give to Dapo.

Dapo complains that after working 40 plus hours a week, he would like to relax rather than do manual labor. Bola argues that working a part-time job and being a stay-at-home mom the other time equals working full-time. She also says these tasks are "man jobs" anyway.

Who's right in this situation?

She says: "I have a lot on my plate. It's hard to juggle it all sometimes. It's the least he can do to help out with these chores since I do everything else."

He says: "I work more than 40 hours a week. By the time the weekend rolls around, the last thing I want to be doing is more work. Besides, these are jobs she could do just as easily as I can. The "honey-do" lists are getting a little outdated."

Whose side are you on?
- Bola
- Dapo

they should simply pay someone to do the chores and live happily ever after!

The woman's, ofcourse. Anybody who thinks doing a part-time job, running a household and managing two kids (however well behaved they are) is not much of a job has to be really insensitive. It is not as if his entire day is at stake. How much time is he going to lose if he washes the car or mows the lawn? Doesn't she deserve a break too? She can however do these jobs if the man agrees to cook and do the rest of the chores

On a serious note, there shouldn't be any job meant for man or woman in particular. Anything a man can do, a woman can do better and vice versa. Eliminate ego and you would be surprised to see how you enjoy doing chores you considered were meant only for the opposite gender.

The husband sound selfish to me, so just because he works 40hrs a week he believes he's entitled to relax all weekend? Can he relax on empty stomach or with crying kids who need attention?

I don't mean to sound insensitive but this is an internet Nigerian problem. In Nigeria men are men and don't have time for this crap. Women do the work and that is the natural order of things.

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He can do the chores and then rest. Simple.

Man is always at home to do the chores.

@JohnDoe

Its better u state what part of Nigeria ur from cos on my own side, no shit like that is acceptable, Nigerian men these days do help out with house chores esp those chores than tend to be 'manly', cant imagine a man relaxing and his wife is mowing, attending to kids and their drama, attending to the kitchen(of cos its weekend when everyone eats more), pls its selfish, if u love ur woman,

married couples should stop posting their wahala here.if they cant do their house there are abokis wetin for people to employ them

I suggest they pay someone to do the chores for them.

DonTonero:

married couples should stop posting their wahala here.if they cant do their house there are abokis wetin for people to employ them

In the world of boko, who would employ aboki. lol

Any man who can't wash his car or mow his lawn needs to tie a wrapper and spend the rest of his life breast feeding kids and cooking.

A marriage of 8 yrs shld produce a child of about 6 or 7,irrespective of d sex,if properly trained,he/she cld help in a little way.Families do well wen there s cooperation and planning s essential in dis regard.however,if de feel d house chores is bcoming a concern, de shld get a house help.i m married 4 over 6 yrs,wt 2 kids & no house help.on weekends i wash my clothes,clean d house,wash d toilets etc.i do ds because we agreed b4 our wedding dat no house help.this has given my children to contribute.

If its naija I'll just pay a made. Obodo eyinbo I'll do little chores and rest too 50/50. i've been doing laundry for 2hrs now  

Men are very lazy when it comes τ̅☺ house work as for me ‎​М̲̐ч̲̣̐ hubby knows I can do every other thing but not wash d car cut d grass

Just like my husband. We both work full time but he will just wear his khaki shorts and sprawl around all weekend with his son. His son poos he will bring him to me while am cooking 10 pots of soup at once. Whose side am I taking? None, the day I can get my husband to help me with house chores I will come back and commment.

@teslim, make sure say u wash d cloth clean oooo!

WaaaaaaaWaaaaaaaaWaaaaaaa!

Someone may need some serious effective communication with his partner. . . But other

than that i will tell you what my partner and l do . . . . We've compromised by designating specific

chores to eachother , . . We decided to do this because,he does not like housework at all so l gave

him simpler tasks to do i.e doing dishes three times a week and sweeping the floors. I also ask that he keeps

up with his own stuffs. Make sure his laundry is on his side of the room instead of everywhere else . . I still do

majority of the housework but his part does help . . .as long as he helps maintain and try not to be messy . . .it  

all works out . . .Oh . .  And on days he does the dishes . . l take out the trash . . l hate it but l do it. Because you

know what? We both live in this house and we both have to do our parts to maintain it. The cars don't need fixing

or washing as often as house chores need to be done and frankly, we have a mechanic for that. So until you spend

a day being in a woman's shoes,you have no right to *****!!

Next time listen to your wife when shes got something to say.

10 - 20 years back an african man doing house chores was unthinkable.
things are changing. it's definitely not a crime to help out.
The days are evil, getting a total stranger to do these chores in the name of house help
is no longer welcomed

@Frenchmen2 Why isn't getting a house help good anymore?

tEsLim:

If its naija I'll just pay a made. Obodo eyinbo I'll do little chores and rest too 50/50. i've been doing laundry for 2hrs now  

Lwkmd and i'm sure you wife is watching Africamagic abi.I cant even imagine myself doing lundry as a married man ?!

Naija!!!   Make una sharp up now, this scenario is for someone living abroad and surely not a Naija scenario so the house help solution is way over the top and not applicable. Even David Cameron no get house help or social slave as the case may be.

His wife is generous, infact my wife stopped talking with me now for 3 days because she wanted me to vacuum clean the whole HOUSE after I came back from a 12 hour shift, so 40 hours a week is nothing my bro so abeg helep madam so she can help you in the night otherwise your soap go suffer am

Basically the woman has to do the house chores. there should be no routine as to when and what the man should help do in the family as regard to chores, but a loving husband understands when his assistance is needed and offers to help without being askd and even when respectfully asked. if there is mutaul understanding, love and respect among husband and wife, everyone willingly work and assist especially when the other has been worked up.
Or if the both are too bussy to attend to house chores, getting a househelp would be of good help.

40 hours a week ain't that much pals.
Even bankers, traders and most workers in naija who work round the clock, that is almost 60hours per week still mow their grasses and wash their cars on a weekend. . .

The guy is just simply LAZY!

What rubbish, why should there be an argument the man should mow the lawn and take the car to the car wash
it is not a whole days job for crying out loud. The woman should not be the one assigning duties to him I believe that is the bone of contention

Let the woman do 40hrs a week and split every chore in the house equally with the man so that he will not have any more excuses.

At sexkill I am beginning to love u oh u posts dey make sense die I think u need to start doing relationship and love counsling at a radio or television channel

Ucheosefoh:

At sexkill I am beginning to love u oh u posts dey make sense die I think u need to start doing relationship and love counsling at a radio or television channel

stop praising this dude.for chrissake,you dont even know him.making good points in writing doesnt amount to talking it.

In this case i am on the guys side, the lady is not pulling her weight, once she has told him twice, she should take out time to find to browse the internet for lawn mowers and car wash that pick up and return , get them to do it and pay them from hubby's money.
Infact she should get a cleaner in once a week to thoroughly clean the house and pay from hubby's 40 hours money.

Anything i ask hubby to do twice that can hired, gets hired and paid for with his money.

No need to nag , its not nice abeg. Harmony is key. Cunning man die cunning man bury am.

Yoru_Igbo:

Naija!!!   Make una sharp up now, this scenario is for someone living abroad and surely not a Naija scenario so the house help solution is way over the top and not applicable. Even David Cameron no get house help or social slave as the case may be.

His wife is generous, infact my wife stopped talking with me now for 3 days because she wanted me to vacuum clean the whole HOUSE after I came back from a 12 hour shift, so 40 hours a week is nothing my bro so abeg helep madam so she can help you in the night otherwise your soap go suffer am

. Oh dear, dear!!! U is very funny. Lwkmd o

MRbrownJAY:

they should simply pay someone to do the chores and live happily ever after!

The ideal solution in an ideal world, but what if cash is tight ?