Pinkyposh:

Yes nah

Don't mind them. They don't discuss any of the real lasting things. You'd be surprised how many people don't even discuss how many children they want, or how they will share their finances. Then one day they will come online to discuss with the public what they should've known when getting engaged.

BRATISLAVA:


Don't mind them. They don't discuss any of the real lasting things. You'd be surprised how many people don't even discuss how many children they want, or how they will share their finances. Then one day they will come online to discuss with the public what they should've known when getting engaged.

Exactly

Winneygirl:


40k is not enough for feeding and home maintenance. To even cook a decent pot of soup that will last a few days for both of you, at least 5k.
And you both will still eat other meals 2 more times that day.
Just because you bought bag of rice and semo in the house, it doesn't mean that the kitchen is stocked.
It is not an allowance you are giving her. It is meant to run the home. Food is the biggest expense for any family.
Seperate feeding and home maintenance money. You are not 'giving' it to her.
House rent is once a year and you have 12 months to save towards it. You can ask her to contribute monthly from her salary to a seperate account where you contribute the rent money to.
Increase the feeding/home maintenance to 60-70k.
If she wants an allowance, give her something. A lot of women do a lot of unappreciated labour in the house. All the cooking and cleaning multiple times daily, planning and laundry... hosting your guests etc. If you disagree about the allowance, take over the feeding and home maintenance for a week. She should wake up, dress up and sit waiting for breakfast. Then when she returns, food should be on the table waiting for her. After eating, you do all the clean-up. Do all the laundry. Plan every activity. Attend to all your guests and still find time to call both family members to check on them. When you are done with all these, decide whether someone who does all these deserves an allowance or not.
She's your wife. She will not use the money to run another persons home.

So you mean he should take care of everything 100%?

nony43:
So you mean he should take care of everything 100%?

Which is the case in traditional marriages.

nony43:





So you mean he should take care of everything 100%?

I believe you missed the part where I said she should contribute to the house rent.

Onyipk:
You have already made a mistake from onset but it is not too late to correct it but before I go further you should know that;

1) You are expected to take care of your wife while your wife is your help meet.
2) It is only cooperation that makes rice grains to swell in tbe cooking pot.


Thus, although this should have been settled before the wedding, you guys need to still sit down together and sincerely plan your future together on what you both earn so that you can build together and not scatter.

It is well o.

If your wife is working and you are working do you still need to take care of her? In what ways

emmybobo1:

Ok you are right. But are you like who? What I mean is that being in Lagos and haven’t lived in phc, I have met women like you in million occasions. Unless you are the most beautiful girlfriend in Nigeria. By the way I’m married and we don’t live in same town and yet I don’t care because I love being alone

Wahala o. If not work, what is the point of getting married?

ahiboilandgas:
that why igbo ladies are single up till above 40 .eater of wealth and men too crime infested to impress a woman that is like a borehole after doing hookup and girl friend from 17 to 40 look for whose wealth to eat .

Seun, Dominique, please give this bigot a life ban

Femmyfamous4u:
Hello all, I need to know if I'm doing some things right or over reacting.

My wife and I just married some months ago and we just spend here and there on stuffs. I bought food stuffs in the house and told her I will place her on 40k monthly to cover for soups and all and I expect her to add to it if it's not enough.

I foot all bills- house rent, Power, and all . She earns a decent 6 figures salary also which is slightly higher than mine without the allowances I get.

She expects me to still give her another allowance apart from the 49k I give her for food.

Each time she buys stuff in the house she always want me to pay back in full; most times, I just pay a part of it which she always frowns and complains about.

It appears she has a notion that her money is her money and mine is ours.

My income is more than hers though.

Do you think I should still give her personal pocket money?

the problem here is you are following a bad custom which has been passed on generation to generation and you belief its the right way

1 if you are working or provider and salary covers all the bills including your both personal allowance u got the room to say wife can keep hers if its little

2 if you are that man who is proud to the sole provider and wont accept help from wise then you shall suffer to be sole provider and dont complain

3 if salary is minimum and barely covers bills and wife brings in little you are meant to put your income together and do a family budget period u wont have this allowance issue as it would have solved by thr budget

4 Many people have misundertood the
word allowance some use it for day to day money for food etc and some for real allowance aka personal allowance for wife which money for things like hair,pants, pantyliners etc

5 if the money is not for personal allowance its shouldnt be called such but money for the house to run the house, gas, water, food etc

6 Wife can only be limited to home expenditure money if she is reckless with it

7 you have been taught aka passed on
generation to generation that .1 give wife the minimun she needs 2 if i give her more she will demand more whereas work around the character of your mum towards money as adjust according to your family needs

8 Both of you are meant contribute towards your home based on what u bring in regardless how small unless your partner clearly says keep your money, there is so much self appriciation in builiding your home with your own money

9 One of the main reason that couples that move western world ended divorcing, is power struggle via money whereby the man is longet able to control wife by either how much he gives or by just being the breadwinner, wife would now working too now understands the power of money to control, hubby nolonger has thay advantage

10 the reason most ladies get kicked out easily from the house they build together with a late husband is the lack financial contribution, where husband does all for you and he tell people that this is my house instead of saying our house

seanwilliam:
@op femmyfamous4u, most of these ladies are like that .

Bro, no matter what, ensure you save atleast 20% of your monthly income. Set aside money for gas/transport and little change to enjoy yourself at work , spread the rest on bills and foodstuff, if there’s ‘extra’ give it to her. But ensure the 20% is taken out the moment you recieve salary, make una know how una go manage the 80%..
The thing is, a woman will put you into trouble and still blame you for not being smart enough .


I won’t really blame you that you ignored the flag, truth is 90% of men do. But e never spoil .



Also as it is now, she doesn’t seem like an understanding person so your best bet is to adjust your standard of living to 40% below your income.
If you’re earning 200k monthly , tell her you make only 150k if need be. Out of that 150k, still cut 20% out for savings and make do with 120k. Most of them don’t like it when you have extra money for yourself, you gaz be 5 steps ahead .

The best comment so far.

Kobojunkie:
1. A traditional Nigerian man carries 100% of the financial weight in marriage. That is the culture which makes men kings in marriage. So if OP wants to kill himself. Culture sanctions it.

Carries all the weight and he won’t live long to enjoy it.

nony43:
■ Carries all the weight and he won’t live long to enjoy it.

Nobody force them nau!