I'm married with four kids (5/13 years), my wife is from Edo State while me a Yoruba. There was a little misunderstanding between us lately when she told me that she will soon start to teach my children her language , I objected to this which made her feel bad . My children barely understand my language and can't speak at all because we all speak English at home but my wife understand Yoruba at least by 30% . I won't like it when they start speaking a language I don't understand under my roof. I'm trying to teach my kids Yoruba but my unavailability at home isn't helping matters. I don't think I'm being selfish in this case because it will be lovely if all of us speak Yoruba than only me being left out, this is one major thing I don't like in an intertribal marriage

Yes My children will speak as many languages as their brain could Grab!
As for your problem, why not let her teach them her language and when you are around you tech them yours?

Definitely yes, language, is an advantage, it will help ur CV

Oga ... just let them learn
...

I'll join my kids to learn my wives native language.
My girlfriend is Ibibio, her dialect is like music to my ears.....

What effort are you putting for your children to learn yoruba.
My wife is igbo I'm urhobo but cant speak my language and not bordered if my wife teaches my children her language.

Medicine after death. You should have thought about this and have an agreement (if possible) before you entered the interracial marriage. Women are selfish with children and to make yours worst her understanding of Yoruba is just 30%. How will she teach them a language she only knows 30% about?

I've never really thought of this.

But If my kids are able to speak my wife's language fluently, then I should be able to understand it at at least.

Where do you reside
West or south?

Let her teach the children her language, it doesn't matter, and you should also learn at least the same 30% of her own language in return.

It'll make sense to have a family of linguists.

Don't make your children lose on both sides,

Even though you and your wife are from different tribes, you both ought to have started early in immersing your children in both languages. Growing up, we had a family who lived next to us, the husband was Ishan (Edo) while the wife an Efik (Cross River) and their kids grew up speaking both parents' languages and they picked speaking igbo from us as they were our playmates and were regularly in our house where my parents spoke igbo 24/7, then the added benefit of the Yoruba language as per primary and secondary schooling in Lagos.

Whenever you are at home, speak Yoruba to them while your wife re-enforce it with the Yoruba she knows while also communicating with them in her own native language.........children have the capacity to learn different languages at the same time,

Seems like y'all don't understand his point.

Bros is worried that his wife might use her language to plan a coup with his kids right in front of him and he won't even have a clue.

Miracood2:
Seems like y'all don't understand his point.

Bros is worried that his wife might use her language to plan a coup with his kids right in front of him and he won't even have a clue.

We understand..he too should learn the language then

Miracood2:
Seems like y'all don't understand his point.

Bros is worried that his wife might use her language to plan a coup with his kids right in front of him and he won't even have a clue.

Coup to overthrow him or what?

He has been with the wife for over 13 years, going by the age of his eldest child and ought to have picked up the basics of the wife's language.

I rap my lingua for my kids,and use it to dagbo their father.when ever I want to talk to them codedly I use my language,and dude will be like...da F is going on.

Only recently I do not know the auto reset that occurred in their switchbox,the kids has bn making efforts in speaking their fathers language which is taught in their school.

First, you are a selfish person.

Secondly, how are you sure she will remember to be speaking it to them.

Besides, the children are almost outgrowing the age that they can grab language easily.

My dad's is from Rivers,mum is Igbo ,paternal grandmother from Cross Rivers and we grew up in the West .

We speak all languages , working on learning more .
Being Bilingual is an added advantage to anybody in any part of the world.

Since you have been "too busy" to teach the kids your language,why are you trying to stop them from learning at least one Nigeria language ?

Respect yourself Mr Man

Not wanting them to learn her language because they don't speak nor understand yours (which is nobody's fault but yours) and because you don't understand hers, is selfish and makes you seem envious over what you shouldn't be envious about, not when your children's best interests and future are concerned. Leave the unecessary insecurities aside and let them learn her language. If you were smart, you would arrange for them to learn yours as well, if you can't teach them yourself. They're kids, hence their brains are malleable and impressionable (aka. plasticity), so they'll pick up both in no time.

Caaz:
I rap my lingua for my kids,and use it to dagbo their father.when ever I want to talk to them codedly I use my language,and dude will be like...da F is going on.

Only recently I do not know the auto reset that occurred in their switchbox,the kids has bn making efforts in speaking their fathers language which is taught in their school.

The bolded is my concerns.

Foodqueen:
First, you are a selfish person.

Secondly, how are you sure she will remember to be speaking it to them.

Besides, the children are almost outgrowing the age that they can grab language easily.

Given that you are from a different tribe from your hubby, would you like your children to communicate with their dad in his language at home and leaving you in the dark about their discussion? I understand that it's advantageous for the kids to speak different languages but I kinda feel not too cool with it happening under my roof, that could make me feel like a stranger in my own house.

This is why I just don’t like inter tribal marriage.. I’m sorry but there will always be friction. Imagine husband family mocking you in your face and you will never never know. You can never really feel at home when you marry outside your tribe.

Quiteparrot:


Given that you are from a different tribe from your hubby, would you like your children to communicate with their dad in his language at home and leaving you in the dark about their discussion? I understand that it's advantageous for the kids to speak different languages but I kinda feel not too cool with it happening under my roof, that could make me feel like a stranger in my own house.

I understand your pain but they are her kids as well as yours and she has the right to teach the kids her native language. Turn a blind eye to this and don’t make this into a bigger problem. If you have a strong bond with your kids they will always come back to tell you if their mother is saying words against you.

Why didn't you guys teach each other's languages when you were still dating? I mean it's very important for couples of different ethnic groups to learn and understand each other's languages and culture.

English is good too, but at the end of the day we're Africans and not Europeans.

I'm also engaged to someone who's from a different tribe as I am and he too was born from parents of different tribes, but he's fluent in both his parents languages.. I also understand both of his parents languages and he also understands mine.

When we're at home most of the time we only speak our native languages, he speaks to me in his native language and I speak to him in my native language... We're also going to do the same with our future children.

Quiteparrot:
I'm married with four kids (5/13 years), my wife is from Edo State while me a Yoruba. There was a little misunderstanding between us lately when she told me that she will soon start to teach my children her language , I objected to this which made her feel bad . My children barely understand my language and can't speak at all because we all speak English at home but my wife understand Yoruba at least by 30% . I won't like it when they start speaking a language I don't understand under my roof. I'm trying to teach my kids Yoruba but my unavailability at home isn't helping matters. I don't think I'm being selfish in this case because it will be lovely if all of us speak Yoruba than only me being left out, this is one major thing I don't like in an intertribal marriage

Quiteparrot:
I'm married with four kids (5/13 years), my wife is from Edo State while me a Yoruba. There was a little misunderstanding between us lately when she told me that she will soon start to teach my children her language , I objected to this which made her feel bad . My children barely understand my language and can't speak at all because we all speak English at home but my wife understand Yoruba at least by 30% . I won't like it when they start speaking a language I don't understand under my roof. I'm trying to teach my kids Yoruba but my unavailability at home isn't helping matters. I don't think I'm being selfish in this case because it will be lovely if all of us speak Yoruba than only me being left out, this is one major thing I don't like in an intertribal marriage

Incase you don't know or understand very well

By nature your children will hear and speak mother tongue before your language

Get that straight

So it now depends if you will join them or left alone

As for your language
You have to be the one to teach all of them

But if you are feeling too high at home
Both your wife and children will frustrate your language both teaching and earning

When you were dating and thinkiyof marriage to the woman what were you expecting?
You didn't learn her language.
You didn't teach her your own.
So allow the kids to learn her own.. when you come around you teach them yours.

Kids below 8 years can adopt as many languages as they are exposed to.
I know several families like these with their kids speaking both parents languages and English too.
Allow her to speak to them.when you are around use yours too.With time they'll be good at it.

If you live among miserable bigots, don't go and mu.mu yourself to enable it.

Don't try it if your wife's tribal folks are worse than racists. Gbadebo was unable to communicate in both Yoruba and Igbo. Imagine what they did to him in a city as diverse as Lagos. Lagosians have rejected him. So who is going to accept him now? Anambra or Owerri??

Now imagine Gbadebo speaking Igbo (his mother's language) fluently... His political career in Lagos would have died a natural death since last year. His Yoruba name could not save him. His father's origin could not. Only one language could have helped his career - His FATHER's language.

If they must learn an indigenous language, then allow them learn the language spoken in their place of origin (their father's home town) before any other language. This is the most appropriate thing when you live among bigots and racists.

Quiteparrot:
I'm married with four kids (5/13 years), my wife is from Edo State while me a Yoruba. There was a little misunderstanding between us lately when she told me that she will soon start to teach my children her language , I objected to this which made her feel bad . My children barely understand my language and can't speak at all because we all speak English at home but my wife understand Yoruba at least by 30% . I won't like it when they start speaking a language I don't understand under my roof. I'm trying to teach my kids Yoruba but my unavailability at home isn't helping matters. I don't think I'm being selfish in this case because it will be lovely if all of us speak Yoruba than only me being left out, this is one major thing I don't like in an intertribal marriage

You don't like Edo (whatever their local dialect is) language and you married their daughter, make it make sense.

The discussion is even strange. "I want to start teaching the kids my language".

Don't parents just start speaking their language to their kids? Except they both decide not to?

Quiteparrot:


Given that you are from a different tribe from your hubby, would you like your children to communicate with their dad in his language at home and leaving you in the dark about their discussion? I understand that it's advantageous for the kids to speak different languages but I kinda feel not too cool with it happening under my roof, that could make me feel like a stranger in my own house.

You should have thought of this before marriage; not 13 years in.

You should have learnt the basics of your wife’s dialect so that you harness the benefits of the intertribal marriage.

Foodqueen:
First, you are a selfish person.

Secondly, how are you sure she will remember to be speaking it to them.

Besides, the children are almost outgrowing the age that they can grab language easily.

Not only is he selfish, he is also jealous. Look at what a grown man is worried about. what if they were been taught edo language in thier schools, will he complain?

Quiteparrot:
I'm trying to teach my kids Yoruba but my unavailability at home isn't helping matters.

so you want your children to learn your language but yet dont want them to learn her language....solely because "you" dont understand it?!?!?!?!?