A few years back, this very good friend of mine, Samson was telling me about his friend that had a problem. A very serious, that was more like a spiritual one.
According to Samson, this guy attracts flies, wherever he goes. Yes, you heard me right. Wherever the guy went, flies of different sizes and shapes were seen swinging all around him. It doesn’t matter how neat any environment is, flies are sure to come around when he comes around.

Strange stuff! At this point, as an average Nigerian boy who is also a fan of Nollywood movies, my heart was drifting in one direction, but I had to pinch myself and force my soul to reason more intellectually. For goodness’ sake, I study sciences, I shouldn’t be caught reasoning in the direction of one that studies Mass com.
I then asked Samson ’Dude, is it that the guy is dirty or what”
Samson said “No”
And I asked again whether the guy applies lotions, or sprays fruity deodorants that might attract these flies. Again he said No, and added that the guy doesn’t even rub Vaseline, lip gloss, or Mentholatum.

Ah!. At this point, I knew that it is either this guy has offended someone in the past, or had been thoroughly defeated by his village people. But of course, I had to continue with my flow; asking scientific questions.
But before I could ask another “Is it” question, Samson angrily .said “Ebus, we are not joking here. I know you know whatsup. Stop acting ignorant. The guy has a spiritual problem, and I’m discussing it with you because I believe you should have an advice or suggestion”.
I laughed. This guy wants me to suggest or advise against village people, spiritual powers and strange spirits that I don’t know.
Me? I, that haven’t visited my hometown for the past four years. I, that mutes people from my village whenever I’m about to post my picture or anything progressive about me.

Me that doesn’t have a strong spiritual base?
Samson wants the same me to generate advice against spirits that might be deadlier than the ones in my village. I laughed again and told him “Dey play”.
Angrily and grudgingly, he stood up to leave, but as a concerned fellow, I called him back and warned him sternly to stay away from things whose genesis he doesn’t know. But as usual, Samsons will always be stubborn. My guy started narrating stories of how the “flies guy” has helped him in the past and how it will be wicked to abandon him in times of need.
Samson, the philosopher even went ahead to remind me that “ A friend in need is a friend indeed” and reinstated that he is going to press together with his friend in these times of pressing need.

I said Okay o and wished him luck. But before he left, I gave him my brand new pressing iron and connected him to a few noble members of the press, wished him luck again, and told him goodbye.
Not up to a week, I received news that the said guy was now free. Samson called me that early Monday morning and was all joyfully on the phone. The “flies guy” was taken to a spiritualist that gave him a few things to rub on his chest, and after four days, he was delivered.
Dear diary, I haven’t been so ashamed of myself. Just imagine the same me that would come on my status now and then to post gospel songs, afraid of ordinary evil spirits. Imagine if I was brave enough to fight with this guy, I probably would have added this to my CV.

Out of shame and apologies for my cowardice, I invited Samson and the ex-flies guy) to my house for a celebration. When they arrived, I sent this little boy that plays football in my room’s passage, to get us drinks. Five bottles of Hero for them and a bottle of Amstel malt for me.
To be very honest, the reason why I bought malt for myself was so that I will be aware and on top of the situation if anything comes up. This healing and deliverance looked like Konja-Konja to me. I wouldn’t want to lose guard and collect.

Fortunately, nothing happened. Nothing happened!. It was now looking real. Nothing actually happened. That night sha. That night!
To be continued.

Abeg go rest...and stop posting useless fiction

AsapTeddy:
Abeg go rest...and stop posting useless fiction

You should have at least read and past. Onuku.