I just read a story in a thread where a man is complaining that his new wife is not accepting the child left behind by his former late wife.

He says that all his efforts to change this new wife to accept the girl-child proved abortive.
https://www.nairaland.com/7668587/wife-hates-daughter-first-wife

Men in the house, please help me to consider this matter...

How do you really feel about stubbornness in women?
Pointedly, how do you feel about stubbornness in WIVES?

By this I mean women who nag or strongly stand their grounds against their husbands wishes.


To me, once a woman is stubborn, she can do anything wrong in a marriage, because she won’t listen to advise or counsel.

There is a reason that the Bible talks about women obeying (or submitting to) their husbands.

But I tend to think that there are two types of stubborn wives.

The first group are the ones who were always stubborn and never pretended about it, and yet the men married them knowing how stubborn they were.

The second group are the ones who hid their stubborn nature during courtship and only unfolded it after getting married.

To me, husbands should not blame the first group when they do their thing in marriage, after-all they never pretended to be otherwise.
Some men marry stubborn women for the fact that they are virgins or near virgins or reserved, and the men trade that stubbornness for whatever reserved nature the women had.
Once the women can keep their legs closed, the men don’t mind them being Jezebels of stubbornness.
So, the women are not to blame in those instances!

However, the second group of women are to blame because they pretended to be what they are not.
In these latter instances, the men reserve the right to terminate the marriage based on the stubbornness problem.

To my understanding ( I have been studying this issue for a while), stubbornness and insubordination by women to husbands is the root of all evils in the bad wife phenomenon.
I have never seen a submissive wife that has serious character flaws, the types of flaws that make a man seriously consider divorce.

So, if I were to advise a young man looking for a wife about anything, it is to AVOID STUBBORN WOMEN LIKE PLAGUE.
I see a lot of them hunting for virgins, but they are really advised to ensure that the virgin is not stubborn … there are a lot of submissive virgins, but there are a lot of stubborn ones too.

You will never enjoy or attain the FULL potentials of your marriage if you marry a stubborn woman, unless you are a natural simp.

A word is enough for the wise.

Stubbornness is associated with women mostly with character flaws. I always tell men that cares to listen, for your peace, marry a submissive woman. Avoid this woke feminist as they'll make ur life miserable
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The most valued virtue in women is good character. Unfortunately that's the most difficult virtue for them to possess.

Just like money for men

...

Most stubborn women have flat asss and lime breast. They're chloroquine.

While most chubby women are kindhearted and submissive. Your happiness is their major concern.

The only reason slim girls don't add flesh is their wickedness and stubborness. Have you seen a healthy wicked person before?

You should make efforts 2 know the difference between stubborness and wickedness. The woman u described is wicked

Worriedwife:
You should make efforts 2 know the difference between stubborness and wickedness. The woman u described is wicked

Took the words right out of my mouth

Simply look before you leap, don't get too emotionally carried away while making your choice. Lots of vampires are out there called feminists

Face the Truth then you win

Oluromantic:
The most valued virtue in women is good character. Unfortunately that's the most difficult virtue for them to possess.

Just like money for men

Deep… 🤔

What did you do to that woman that makes her stubborn?

She can't just wake up one day and start displaying the attitude of stubbornness...

wunmi590:


What did you do to that woman that makes her stubborn?

She can't just wake up one day and start displaying the attitude of stubbornness...

You're right to an extent.

If she hasn't been the stubborn type and suddenly becomes one, then there must be a trigger because when pushed to the wall, men fight back with fist while women fight back with bad attitude which includes stubbornness.

On the other hand, some people are naturally stubborn.

I'm not proud to say it but I was a stubborn kid and that stubbornness still show up once in a while especially when my mind is made up on something.

The best way to handle a stubborn person in my opinion is to give them a break. That way, you save yourself from being abusive especially physically and you also give them the time to ponder on their stubbornness.

What did my dad do me for being stubborn if not knack me belt. You wan knack your woman belt?

Seems women are the only problems of men in this Nigeria.

Anyways I prolly think there's a huge yardstick btw bn stubborn and being wicked.

I am not referring to the above situation however, I am guessing what you mean is women that are opinionated. For the records, your wife is human and if you expect her to be "the all you say is correct all the time", then the marriage is not healthy.

In my case, if it is an issue that I feel the consequence(s) are bearable, I let her have her way if she insists this is what she thinks we should do. Then if she talks about how the outcome isn't what she expected, I let her know I only allowed it since I knew the consequences are bearable. I would rather think it has helped in many ways because we get to talk more on anything we need to take actions on.

Zonefree:
Most stubborn women have flat asss and lime breast. They're chloroquine.

While most chubby women are kindhearted and submissive. Your happiness is their major concern.

The only reason slim girls don't add flesh is their wickedness and stubborness. Have you seen a healthy wicked person before?

Wow!
This needs a study because the hypothesis seems plausible.

GboyegaD:
I am not referring to the above situation however, I am guessing what you mean is women that are opinionated. For the records, your wife is human and if you expect her to be "the all you say is correct all the time", then the marriage is not healthy.

[b]In my case, if it is an issue that I feel the consequence(s) are bearable, I let her have her way if she insists this is what she thinks we should do. [/b]Then if she talks about how the outcome isn't what she expected, I let her know I only allowed it since I knew the consequences are bearable. I would rather think it has helped in many ways because we get to talk more on anything we need to take actions on.

Bros I don't really mean opinionated women. I mean stubborn women.
There is a difference between been opinionated and being stubborn.

I would use your second paragraph comment to qualify the differences.
You said if the consequences are bearable to you, you let it be.
I'd say most men would agree with that statement.
However, stubborn women don't care whether the consequences is bearable to you or not.
Once they decide not to do it, they won' t do it regardless of your feelings.
They may give you excuses to make you feel better, but they are really doing what they want.
Some women are just stubborn.

wunmi590:


What did you do to that woman that makes her stubborn?

She can't just wake up one day and start displaying the attitude of stubbornness...

You may be partially correct because people adjust according to their life's experiences.
For example, maybe she obeyed him the last time, and the result turned out bad; thereafter she changed.
Understandable and normal.
But I am talking about women whose stubbornness was unprovoked.
Some are naturally stubborn from birth and don't hide it to any future husbands. They marry that way, and their husbands understand and live with them that way.
But the second group hide their stubbornness to future suitors, and the poor husband wakes up in the middle of a marriage to face a woman who simply won't bend to his wishes.
The second group is the problem, IMHO.

Worriedwife:
You should make efforts 2 know the difference between stubborness and wickedness. The woman u described is wicked

Stubbornness always precedes (or is a forerunner to) wickedness.

I have never seen an obedient woman who became wicked.

The reason that obedient women can't be wicked is because they listen to other people's advice.

They may listen to their own siblings who warn them about their actions, or they listen to their husbands who do the same.

Stubborn women don't listen to anyone, and so can fully develop wickedness.

onumadu:


You may be partially correct because people adjust according to their life's experiences.
For example, maybe she obeyed him the last time, and the result turned out bad; thereafter she changed.
Understandable and normal.
But I am talking about women whose stubbornness was unprovoked.
Some are naturally stubborn from birth and don't hide it to any future husbands. They marry that way, and their husbands understand and live with them that day.
But the second group hide their stubbornness to future suitors, and the poor husband wakes up in the middle of a marriage to face a woman who simply won't bend to his wishes.
The second group is the problem, IMHO.

Lol, the stubbornness might have come from witch craft or village people...

Honestly, I can't deal with stubborn woman, believe me I will just run away, but I'm happy with the kind of wife God gave me...

But all in all, I still feel, something might have prompted their stubbornness, may be they were exposed to something during childhood that whenever they remember, it trigger the stubbornness in them...

God will help us from every spirit of stubborn woman 👩

JeffreyJunior:
You're right to an extent.

If she hasn't been the stubborn type and suddenly becomes one, then there must be a trigger because when pushed to the wall, men fight back with fist while women fight back with bad attitude which includes stubbornness.

On the other hand, some people are naturally stubborn.

I'm not proud to say it but I was a stubborn kid and that stubbornness still show up once in a while especially when my mind is made up on something.

The best way to handle a stubborn person in my opinion is to give them a break. That way, you save yourself from being abusive especially physically and you also give them the time to ponder on their stubbornness.

What did my dad do me for being stubborn if not knack me belt. You wan knack your woman belt?

Spot on bro...

@ your last paragraph, sure women has soft spot, so beating is a no no, I will either walk away for like 2days, she will be the one begging me to come back home...

There's one "case study" from the Bible that I like to cite from time to time...

Abraham and his wife Sarah went down to Egypt when there was famine in Canaan.
When they approached Egypt, Abraham told his wife to say that they are brother and sister instead of husband and wife.

He told her to say this because he feared for his life. He feared that if the men of Egypt knew they were married couple, they would kill Abraham and take Sarah by force.

She (being an obedient wife) agreed and did exactly as her husband said.

And when they got to Egypt, Pharoah's men saw Sarah and, because she was beautiful, inquired after her marital status and she lied as her husband had instructed her. So, they took her to Pharoah's house where she joined Pharoah's house as wife (Gen 12: 19 NIV).
Pharoah also gifted Abraham with many gifts of sheep and cattle, male and female donkeys, male and female servants, and camels.

After some time (the story didn't say how long), God plagued Pharoah's household with many diseases because of Sarah. Pharoah then called Abraham and asked him why he didn't say that Sarah was his wife. He then asked Abraham to leave Egypt with his household (because he lied to him).

Now, imagine a stubborn woman in Sarah's shoes. She would become more righteous than Abraham, nag him, and never do as he instructed; reminding him of their marital vows, etc (as if the husband who gave the instruction is a fool).
Her stubbornness could have killed her husband.

That is the difference (to those who still don't understand the difference between being stubborn and being opinionated).

wunmi590:


Lol, the stubbornness might have come from witch craft or village people...

Honestly, I can't deal with stubborn woman, believe me I will just run away, but I'm happy with the kind of wife God gave me...

But all in all, I still feel, something might have prompted their stubbornness, may be they were exposed to something during childhood that whenever they remember, it trigger the stubbornness in them...

God will help us from every spirit of stubborn woman 👩

Stubbornness is witchcraft on its own.
Wetin be witchraft again?
And did you say you'll run away?
Hhehehehe.
As if she would stop being stubborn when you return. LOL

onumadu:


Stubbornness always precedes (or is a forerunner to) wickedness.

I have never seen an obedient woman who became wicked.

The reason that obedient women can't be wicked is because they listen to other people's advice.

They may listen to their own siblings who warn them about their actions, or they listen to their husbands who do the same.

Stubborn women don't listen to anyone, and so can fully develop wickedness.

An obedient woman can b wicked. Step mothers hav been maltreating kids and some of your mothers are guilty of this. Wickedness is a state of mind and you find wicked people everywhr

Worriedwife:


An obedient woman can b wicked. Step mothers hav been maltreating kids and some of your mothers are guilty of this. Wickedness is a state of mind and you find wicked people everywhr

Let's try logic here.
A thief can also be an honest person, but most thieves are also good liars.
A thief needs lying skills to successfully steal and evade capture.
An honest thief won't last in the trade of stealing.
Same way, an obedient woman can be wicked, but she won't last in wickedness because people would talk her out of her wickedness.
A stubborn wicked woman would not listen to anyone, particularly when she is being wicked.
I hope this logic exercise enlightens you more.

One of the qualities of a wife material is having a gentle soul. And this doesn’t mean you don’t have a voice of your own or that you are a people pleaser, but you have to have a calm about you, not just for your husband but your children as well.


Being stubborn as a wife is not a flex but rather a character flaw that needs to be worked on.

onumadu:


Let's try logic here.
A thief can also be an honest person, but most thieves are also good liars.
A thief needs lying skills to successfully steal and evade capture.
An honest thief won't last in the trade of stealing.
Same way, an obedient woman can be wicked, but she won't last in wickedness because people would talk her out of her wickedness.
A stubborn wicked woman would not listen to anyone, particularly when she is being wicked.
I hope this logic exercise enlightens you more.

Stubborness is different from wickedness & leave virgins out of ur thread

I am not proud to say this,but I am a stubborn woman.My stubborn nature becomes obvious if I am being pushed and treated unjustly.Na that time my stubborn button go just activated.Talk from today till tomorrow,my mind no go move.

Most times, people's attitude towards you brings out that stubborn part of you.
I am a very easy going person sha and I don't lack empathy.

eminent91:
I am not proud to say this,but I am a stubborn woman.My stubborn nature becomes obvious if I am being pushed and treated unjustly.Na that time my stubborn button go just activated.Talk from today till tomorrow,my mind no go move.

Most times, people's attitude towards you brings out that stubborn part of you.
I am a very easy going person sha and I don't lack empathy.

Tnk u for this. Empathy...a stubborn person is not a wicked person.Lack of empathy is what brings about wickedness in people

Worriedwife:


Tnk u for this. Empathy...a stubborn person is not a wicked person.Lack of empathy is what brings about wickedness in people

I agree that a stubborn woman is not expressly a wicked woman. That would be a big logic leap.
That is why I used an example above, but you apparently didn't still get it.
A stubborn woman is more likely to remain wicked if she is already a wicked woman, because she doesn't listen to advise.
Nobody is perfect on earth; all human beings are striving to become better persons.
But stubborn people (women in our instance here) are not likely to change or improve or imbibe better social conduct because ...
they are stubborn.
A stubborn woman would make life harder for a man, than an obedient woman. QED.

Rokiat:
One of the qualities of a wife material is having a gentle soul. And this doesn’t mean you don’t have a voice of your own or that you are a people pleaser, but you have to have a calm about you, not just for your husband but your children as well.


Being stubborn as a wife is not a flex but rather a character flaw that needs to be worked on.

Yes to the first bolded.

To the second bolded, yes it is a character flaw; but no, it is not easy to correct, hence the problem.

If it is something "to be worked on", then she is not stubborn, at least not the type of stubbornness I'm trying to describe.

That is why my main advise here goes to bachelors who are searching for wives.

Find out whether that future wife is stubborn, and then decide ab initio whether to marry her or not.

It would allow you the opportunity to get what you want out of your marriage.

BTW this topic really belongs in the front page so that more opinions can be ventilated on it.

Few opinions on important topics don't get enough information and analyses, hence people can draw the wrong conclusions.

We are all learning here.

cc Mods.

Thanks in advance.