Jennyclay:
Biko, Someone should come and take me to U.k, honestly I won’t end the relationship/marriage

you're no more an "un-apologetic feminist" anymore?

When village rat reach London see cheese factory , em no need steal from kitchen anymore, most wives are thieves , retired prlrostituttes and con women , the real wives are safe and secured

madridguy:
It is too much freedom.

Well, to me I still blame the men in such position, I no go sell my property, borrow money for us to travel you come reach foreign land make you come say you no do again. E no possible. We must talk am very well before we comot for Naija.

What you just wrote shows that you are ignorant of the situation.

You go talk am well 🤣🤣🤣, how well can you talk about it?

My guy oyibo law gives women absolute power over men, do anyhow, you go see anyhow.

The way you treat your wife here in Nigeria won't be the same way you treat her over there, if you make pim, you will lose your house and half of the money in your account.

haybhi1:


Hi chief.
Stumbled on one of your posts yesterday and it didn't take long before you come across as a bright fellow. Couldn't help stop brandishing them with likes, I think you probably noticed.

You're smart, and like a chap I'll like to be around. 🤝🤝

Appreciate the kind words, chair. 🤝🤝

-Lord

The reason is this:
A lot of people especially women just endure this thing called Marriage probably out of economic reasons, societal pressures, for the sake of children ETC. But once out of the country where there is so much freedom, where the system is more in favor of women, where no body sends you, where everyone is hustling by themselves and for themselves. You will find that that endurance becomes a burden, it becomes un-needed. With the new-found independence, self-reliance and freedom, people will naturally want to go their separate ways instead of enduring what is meant to be enjoyed.

tppzzy01:
Who will Nigeria 🇳🇬 men go come Marry? If you marry a white she will divorce you and take better part of your fortune if not all. You marry your tribe or your Country women, she go divorce you and marry white or another rich black... Is this not a big problem? It's coming to a time where men and women will no longer marry again, they will just be saxing anyhow.
Conclusion: if you dey japa know that you will remain single for the rest of your life in abroad, until you're old and back home

Lol I thought Hakimi found a way around this.

Kobojunkie:
He is telling the truth. The false teachers and false prophets established the religion of Christianity in order to bilk the minds and lives of gullible followers out there. You take that power and the money — tithes and offerings — out of the equation, and many of them will disperse.
Jesus Christ Himself warned you that they are thieves who come to steal, to kill and destroy, all while using the name of God.

False teachers are subtle in their approach. Some of them are not after money as many of you think rather their goal is to drag people to hell. One of them died few years back, he was celebrated as one of the humble prophet of our time. He wasn't crazy over money

erico2k2:

MayB they should run their own ship in Nigeria too and get used to it

They are doing just that but the men are still lamenting. Let's sail ship as a team NO, Oya now, Let me run my own ship NO!

bukatyne:


This is another interesting take.

I know that the Asians are doing well familywise and one of their unique qualities is 'they do not deviate from their culture and are a closely knit community'.

I would take a leap and also assume that Muslims don't have a spike in the divorce rates because they are 'same' everywhere. While there are different levels of devotion in Islam, there is no 'modern' version. No Muslim (no matter how rich or 'exposed') would tell you Homosexuality is 'ok' or hijab is wrong or disagree on the definition of decent/indecent dressing.

However, when you come to Christianity, there are levels of modernity that a true Christian would feel out of place and wonder if it is the same Bible we are referencing.

It is sad.

Did you cum after writing this trash?
Must you people turn women to a level above animals before you agree that women can breathe?
If see all the ignorant shit you typed there as if you know jack shit about the workings of Muslim homes.
If you guys are not pitching for tribal divide you will pitch for religious one
Go marry Muslim saints na.

edoairways:

False teachers are subtle in their approach. Some of them are not after money as many of you think rather their goal is to drag people to hell. One of them died few years back, he was celebrated as one of the humble prophet of our time. He wasn't crazy over money

They are subtle?

No wonder they have managed to easily fool over 4 billion — all those of the religions of Christianity, Judaism, Catholicism, and Islam combined —on the planet with their shenanigans on open display where all who are not blind can easily see them. Jesus Christ warned of the antichrists who would use His name to deceive many and you somehow concluded all by yourself that they would be subtle about it.

Hydroxide:
The truth is most Nigerian women get married for survival. If a Nigeria woman has the same opportunity to make money without the help of their husband, I mean if they can make their own money, Their accounts reading millions, most Nigerian women won't even get married. That's why when they go abroad where the systems and institutions are working, when they can easily work and make their own money without the help of a man, marriages easily crash cos they know they can take care of their bills

So who is stopping Nigerian women from making money as much as men? Are money-making opportunities opened to only the men? Please explain

Smile4mee01:
Na men dey love, women are in business.


There are many marriages that seemingly looks great in Nigeria, but the desire to move abroad is the beginning of the end of the marriage because the cultural foundation upon which many marriages are built in Nigeria is so different from abroad.

A good wife is truly a gift from God.

You have a point

Hydroxide:
The truth is most Nigerian women get married for survival. If a Nigeria woman has the same opportunity to make money without the help of their husband, I mean if they can make their own money, Their accounts reading millions, most Nigerian women won't even get married. That's why when they go abroad where the systems and institutions are working, when they can easily work and make their own money without the help of a man, marriages easily crash cos they know they can take care of their bills

I have stated the same on TwitterNG. Should Nigeria become prosperous, many women in the country won't marry. Even me sef, if I was a woman living in Nigeria, I won't marry.

YoshihideSuga:


I have stated the same on TwitterNG. Should Nigeria become prosperous, many women in the country won't marry. Even me sef, if I was a woman living in Nigeria, I won't marry.

Bro if Naija married woman start to see money on their own without the help of their husbands, many marriages go Echo, I mean many marriages go crash.

Legendre2:


Lol I thought Hakimi found a way around this.

Yeah.
But how many trust there mum for that?

cococandy:


Maybe there’s a reason why both white and black women leave them?

I mean introspection is an option but let’s blame everyone but the true culprits

Hmmm. Okay. Time will tell

Mindlog:


It is a draft and the Masters student is still working on it, as she is going to present and submit it in September, for her graduation in November. So I do not have the rights to share her academic work as she shared it with me in confidence, for my insights as I encouraged her to opt for Psychology fot her Masters.

Please encourage her to publish it if she can. It will make for an educational piece to the men who think otherwise. I for one, support her thesis though i only know off the summary u shared

EBMedia:
A human right lawyer, Bolanle, has decried the high rate of divorce among ‘happily married' Nigerian couples after they relocate to the UK, IGBERETV reports.

He wrote on his Twitter handle;


https://twitter.com/BolanleCole/status/1657282890005196800?t=03ImUcp6y2jvwnJ8xWaP6A&s=19

Lol... Japagerians. SMH.

EBMedia:
A human right lawyer, Bolanle, has decried the high rate of divorce among ‘happily married' Nigerian couples after they relocate to the UK, IGBERETV reports.

He wrote on his Twitter handle;

https://twitter.com/BolanleCole/status/1657282890005196800?t=03ImUcp6y2jvwnJ8xWaP6A&s=19

GOOD! Folks go abroad and see how CIVILIZED people live…
That husbands do NOT ‘own’ their wives, and NOBODY (male or female) should remain stuck in a bad marriage.
>

So you acknowledge the someone is USED. well one of the things that appreciate in value when being used is WISDOM. Wisdom to decipher what one wants in life.

t2luv1:


I was this close to agreeing with you on some points until that overrate thing. Depending on the woman's age if after 35 she wants to leave I will say please let her go. Until someone can show me what freaking things in this world appreciate in values with age and after being used. The Same thing applies to men.

Kobojunkie:
They are subtle?

No wonder they have managed to easily fool over 4 billion — all those of the religions of Christianity, Judaism, Catholicism, and Islam combined —on the planet with their shenanigans on open display where all who are not blind can easily see them. Jesus Christ warned of the antichrists who would use His name to deceive many and you somehow concluded all by yourself that they would be subtle about it.

Jesus Christ warned of the anti Christ, same Jesus Christ said if care is not taken, the elect may be deceived. This means many Christians leaders who knowledgeable about the bible and some of the fruit of the Holy spirit may be deceived since some false teachers and prophets may guise their ways

edoairways:
■ Jesus Christ warned of the anti Christ, same Jesus Christ said if care is not taken, the elect may be deceived.
■ This means many Christians leaders who knowledgeable about the bible and some of the fruit of the Holy spirit may be deceived since some false teachers and prophets may guise their ways

1. All 144,000 of the elects were successfully deployed from Jerusalem almost 2000 years ago, even as the antichrist was taking on form. Yes, even Peter in his epistle revealed the antichrists were already in full swing even back almost 2000 years ago.

2. Your so-called Christians leaders are some of the antichrists you were warned against, I am afraid.

Kobojunkie:
1. All 144,000 of the elects were successfully deployed from Jerusalem almost 2000 years ago, even as the antichrist was taking on form. Yes, even Peter in his epistle revealed the antichrists were already in full swing even back almost 2000 years ago.

2. Your so-called Christians leaders are some of the antichrists you were warned against, I am afraid.

They aren't even the elect Jesus Christ was talking about

edoairways:
■ They aren't even the elect Jesus Christ was talking about

There is only one group of elects.. and they are the special people God said He would put His seal on and then send out into the world to gather back the rest of Israel to Himself --- Isaiah 66 vs 18 - 22.

Kobojunkie:
There is only one group of elects.. and they are the special people God said He would put His seal on and then send out into the world to gather back the rest of Israel to Himself --- Isaiah 66 vs 18 - 22.

Ignorance is a disease 😕😕😕

edoairways:

Ignorance is a disease 😕😕😕

Isaiah was ignorant?

pocohantas:


Lol. It is the way you numbered it for me.

My boss was 39!! And she just got married as the third abi na fourth wife to one Northern elite. I was shocked because I always read that they marry before "22". It is her first marriage too. She schooled and worked abroad. Na husband carry her come back Naija. She told me she can't be in a monogamous marriage because it would affect her career and stress her out.

Omo! Their reasons for divorcing plenty o. I love this my friend because if you ask, she would answer you.🤣🤣🤣 I always look forward to her Islam orientations. It was with her I discovered muslim women have some flex, fully backed by their religion but nobody talks about those ones. You see that providing own. She said the onus is on the man to do everything. All this 50:50 we talk doesn't concern a core muslim couple.

50/50 has never happened anywhere aside westerners. They westerners share everything 50/50 including chores

vickydevoka:

50/50 has never happened anywhere aside westerners. They westerners share everything 50/50 including chores

i dont know were most african get this infor that people in the west do 50/50

if both 50/50 where does the other 50 go to ?

The western world is designed this way

If two people are married and want mortagage and want finish it early, it advised to put you salaries together to reduce the number of years you would spend on mortgage, the two salaries give you that opportunity to finish early

So basically you are all putting 100% each not 50/50

how they calculate is the two salaries are taken as house hold income minus all your expenses

So two salaries are better than one

Then on chores, that depends on each family dynamics and its not 50/50, women still do most of the work becoz most families still have those traditional roles in their families.

There are certain dynamics that most africa
based people will never understand untill they move here and see for themselves eg most nurse hours are 12 hour shifts

so 7am -7pm so imagine hubby does a 9-5 job while wife does 7am -7pm so hubby will get home before wife, if hubby want proper african food, it mean wife will have to stand for another average 2 hrs on top of the 12 hr shift

if they have kids, kids needs bathing, home work etc on top of that hubby wants sex

remember this western world, even the middleclass cant afford a maid,

with this dynamic step up, if hubby doesnt step in helping it will affect their marriage either one has to cut working hours as way to maintain traditional roles aka wife doing traditional
house chores and hubby doing his


Even when both are doing 9-5, when you have kids, they need to be dropped and picked from
skol, meaning you have to fork out money for breakfast club and after skol care all these needs transparent in terms of salaries in the home


Whereas in africa half of
our women are housewives period and we can
afford cheap labour of maid, there woman in africa has no clue how tiring is a 12hr shift, ahe thinks the western lady is just being lazy

ZIMDRILL:


i dont know were most african get this infor that people in the west do 50/50

if both 50/50 where does the other 50 go to ?

The western world is designed this way

If two people are married and want mortagage and want finish it early, it advised to put you salaries together to reduce the number of years you would spend on mortgage, the two salaries give you that opportunity to finish early

So basically you are all putting 100% each not 50/50

how they calculate is the two salaries are taken as house hold income minus all your expenses

So two salaries are better than one

Then on chores, that depends on each family dynamics and its not 50/50, women still do most of the work becoz most families still have those traditional roles in their families.

There are certain dynamics that most africa
based people will never understand untill they move here and see for themselves eg most nurse hours are 12 hour shifts

so 7am -7pm so imagine hubby does a 9-5 job while wife does 7am -7pm so hubby will get home before wife, if hubby want proper african food, it mean wife will have to stand for another average 2 hrs on top of the 12 hr shift

if they have kids, kids needs bathing, home work etc on top of that hubby wants sex

remember this western world, even the middleclass cant afford a maid,

with this dynamic step up, if hubby doesnt step in helping it will affect their marriage either one has to cut working hours as way to maintain traditional roles aka wife doing traditional
house chores and hubby doing his


Even when both are doing 9-5, when you have kids, they need to be dropped and picked from
skol, meaning you have to fork out money for breakfast club and after skol care all these needs transparent in terms of salaries in the home


Whereas in africa half of
our women are housewives period and we can
afford cheap labour of maid, there woman in africa has no clue how tiring is a 12hr shift, ahe thinks the western lady is just being lazy

Life is suppose to be easy but two people that misunderstands each other will see marriage life difficult. Most white men cook more than their wives. African this, African that.If you are in Rome do like Romans

can't believe we still live in an era where women are still viewed as a property. Throughout history they were subjected to oppressive treatment and inequality within marriage. Their status and treatment varied across cultures, regions and even time periods.

In ancient Egypt and Greece women were considered the property of their husbands and had few legal rights. Their legal duty was domestic chores and bearing childing. In the middle ages, women's identity was subsumed to her husbands upon marriage and again considered the property of her husband.

20th century saw movements towards women advocating for their rights to be recognised as human right!

Indeed we can't ignore the fact that there are periods and societies that have extremely oppressed and subjugated women within marriages it is important to note that there has been progress over times in terms of improving women's right and social standing.

Having said that, today the treatment of women within marriages varies across different countries and cultures - take ours for instance.

Someone mentioned the role of in- laws and we've seen examples where a woman married into this family where the boys' mother faced constant abuse from her husband. Incessant beating up to striping her naked in the marketplace. The woman was sent parking from the house yet when her son married - the DIL was told she told never to report her son to anyone but her! What does that mean? She doesn't want family settlement like someone mentioned earlier - because we tend to call family meeting and if this girl can't tell her own family please how do they resolve issues assuming they want family to butt in.

How about the role families play in training their kids to adulthood? Most people who grew up say with parents who were born in the 40s/50s will at least have witnessed their parents abuse and would have grown up with suppressed trauma. Monsters are then raised both women and men - some women see their dad beat their mum and think it's the right thing - I can't be with a man who will not beat me up! Some men grow up and repeat the same abuse towards their own spouse - you see the circle! It needs to be broken.

I've seen men/women come abroad and blow up their marriages because (and I say this without prejudice) apparently Nigerians compete against each other when here (my jaw hit the floor when I heard this one) as such everyone is looking to one up the other, mix with crowds that start telling them things - how to leave your husband/wife and be free of them so you can do whatever you like - sleep around, go to parties like no tomorrow. People coming without having proper education about the culture etc. Big egos still coming here with idea - I own you and will control you and there's nothing anyone can do about it.

We have people with narcissistic behaviour who cry wolf after they've been caught out in their ways and they are no longer able to control you then they BURN everything to the ground! Care should be taken not to destroy our kids lives whilst trying to destroy a wife or husband we once thought was our forever!

madridguy:
It is too much freedom.

Well, to me I still blame the men in such position, I no go sell my property, borrow money for us to travel you come reach foreign land make you come say you no do again. E no possible. We must talk am very well before we comot for Naija.

Not freedom.

Many marriage survive in Nigeria because the men earn more. But when you the financial superiority of men is broken. Most marriages cracks are exposed and many woman are loyal to men because of financial dependency and the only value many men can add is money so once they can't do that. The women see them from the trash they are.

sniperr007:
Not freedom.

Many marriage survive in Nigeria because the men earn more. But when you the financial superiority of men is broken. Most marriages cracks are exposed and many(Nigerian) women are loyal to (Nigerian) men because of financial dependency and the only value many (Nigerian) men can add is money so once they can't do that The (Nigerian) women see them(Nigerian men) from the trash they(Nigerian men) are.

You just succeeded in describing the majority of Nigerian marriages both abroad and in Nigeria. And this isn't merely an indictment against Nigerian men but against society— families included — churning out such men.