Out-dated dating advice
Forget Grandma’s wisdom – the modern dating scene has evolved and some of the most classic Dating Advice is now obsolete. Match.com’s relationship expert Kate Taylor brings you up to speed

Wait 3 days to call
In the olden days, boy met girl, boy got girl’s phone number, boy waited three days to ring girl, boy looked mysterious and exotic. But those days have gone. In modern times when all of us carry around smart phones that can call, text, email, social-network, and IM, let alone challenge anyone to a game of online Scrabble at any time, waiting three days to get in touch just makes boy look like he ran out of call credit or like he’s trying too hard to be “cool”. Really, just get in touch the next day. Within 24 hours. If you don’t want to look like you’re trying too hard then don’t try too hard – just pick up the phone and say something simple like, “I really enjoyed meeting you and I’d love to go out sometime soon. Fancy it?” Don’t agonise over being funny or clever – the more run-of-the-mill you are in early communications, the more confident and experienced you’ll seem, because it’ll look like you ask people out all the time. And that, believe it or not, is sexy.

Wait 3 dates to get intimate
Fifty years ago, the Pill had only just been invented and it was still the norm for women to wait until at least engagement before they got horizontal with their boyfriend. Time has marched on and these days, some women feel they’re being uncommonly chaste if they wait just until they leave the pub. The three-date rule was therefore invented to bridge the gap – couples were advised to go to bed together on the third date, and not a moment sooner. Good advice? No. While there are indisputably huge benefits to waiting before going to bed with a partner – you both get to know each other’s true personality and character before you take that next step; you don’t risk becoming chemically attached to each other, because you’re not producing Oxytocin, the “bonding hormone”, that gets released during intercourse; dating without sex keeps things very light and fun – three dates simply isn’t long enough to get to know a person beyond what they like to order for dessert. If you want to wait, better to wait three months. If you don’t want to wait, then still don’t stick to an arbitrary three-date curfew, as it removes all the mystery and excitement – better to ambush them at some unexpected time.
Whether you wait or don’t, it’s how you act afterwards that will dictate how the relationship progresses. If you act the same afterwards, there’s a good chance you’ll stay together. But if you become clingy, needy or moody, things will stall or stop. If you know you become emotionally invested afterwards (and many people do, it’s normal and natural!), then wait.

Make your partner jealous
If your partner seems less attentive towards you, less interested, and is taking you for granted, you should make them jealous, right? Wrong! Just pull back and concentrate on YOUR LIFE for a while. Anything else will look desperate and needy. For example, if you take your partner to a party and spend the evening chatting-up somebody else, your partner will feel insulted and offended, not attracted. It’ll look obvious and fake. Instead, take your partner to a party and talk to everyone else – be the life and soul, flit around, have fun. Don’t concentrate on your moody mate, throw yourself into enjoying the evening. Or go to the party with your friends and don’t invite them, wait for them to invite you out somewhere and fit it in along with all the other fun, interesting activities you have planned. That is what attracts people: self-assured, well-rounded people who pursue their own interests, ambitions and goals. If you fear your partner is losing interest in you, lose interest in them for a while and fill up your time with things you love to do. Your partner will either feel the loss of your company and come around again, or they’ll fade away and you’ll be upset but you’ll still have a successful, interesting life to support you.

Girls, play down your accomplishments
It used to be said that women should never try to impress a man with their accomplishments – her “job” was to seem impressed by him. Luckily, this isn’t true today. Recent research by Forbes in the US has shown that men are now more likely than ever before to want a wife with drive and ambition. A long-running study that follows the traits which single Americans want in a spouse revealed earlier this year that “Ambition and industriousness” has risen to enter the top 10 for the first time ever. It’s still only at number 10 but we can be sure it will continue to rise as more and more males see the benefits of having a clever, successful wife who can share the financial burden of supporting a home and family. So girls, don’t be afraid to shine on your date! If you just got a promotion, tell him about it. If there’s a long-term goal you long to achieve, reveal all. Your perfect partner will be one who is keen to help you reach for your personal stars.

Men, use money to impress a girl
Fellas, if you’ve ever thought that the only way to dazzle the ladies was to flash around some cash, read on – your bank-manager will thank you, as will your partner. For years it’s been generally regarded that women are most attracted to men who can afford to shower them with expensive gifts, jewellery and dinners. But the Lovegeist report – the UK’s biggest annual survey into singletons’ attitudes towards love – has consistently found that “thoughtful gestures” mean far more to women than “extravagant gestures”. Budget-conscious babes would rather their partner regularly performed sweet, meaningful actions (like getting rid of spiders, remembering to do household jobs she hates, making thoughtful presents, even just really listening to what she says) than buying occasional expensive presents. It’s just one of the ways that Beta males can out-perform Alphas in the romantic world. Women seek partners who will be good providers, but also who are dependable, safe and reliable. Remembering her favourite flowers is perfect – it will earn you far more love than the largest bunch of something she doesn’t like.



from yahoo.com

^ without asking for statistics and proven analysis.

claremont:


The vast majority of the relationships in Nigeria are based on culturally defined roles of the male and female. The male is seen as the sole financial beacon of hope to the female, while the female's role is to massage the loins of the male. That is the way a Nigerian relationship works!

Thank you for that. Been asking myself why nigerian guys complain about their ladies.
Its culture! and anything out of that is all hogwash.ladies are brought up to believe the only role they should play is massaging men's loins while the men take care of finances.That is how a nigerian relationship works. Sealed.
Please don't bash your ladies again cz they are only doing what culture expects of them.

cheers and good day

claremont:

That is one of the archaic elements of our culture we are trying to change. We are now seeing a new trend of independent ladies in Nigeria, which is a good thing really. The mere fact that Nigerian guys are opening their mouths to bash Nigerian ladies, clearly shows that the culture is changing; more and more enlightened Nigerian men are starting to reject these stone-age culturally defined roles, those ladies who still selfishly cling tenaciously to these cave-men concepts will be left behind. The change we need has come!

Did you say INDEPENDENT? I have come to believe that word leaves a sour taste in the mouths of nl romance section males.
I  have no idea what type of lady a typical nigerian man wants. No jokes. 2 words you hate to hear.Independent and Goldigger.
The golddigger is molded by culture as per first comment above.
The Independent lady who takes care of her needs and treats her man every now and then is labelled  proud.
Not a good candidate for marriage.
But realise that in almost every culture the man has bn charged with the responsibility of looking after the woman and family so it cannot be culture but a good culture taken to extreme levels by a few lazy people. A people who end up with weights,tears and broken hearts.
The issue is not to do away with culture but to balance everything.Take what works in balanced quantities and intergrate it with the modern way of life.Throw away the rest.

claremont:

In most western cultures, neither party is "charged" with any responsibility, what we have are mutually shared, equal responsibilities. When in a relationship, both parties contribute 50-50 financially to it; when in a marriage, both parties operate a joint family account. There is no such thing as a culturally defined responsibility for one party at the expense of the other; I have seen men who take the kids to school while the wife goes to work, and vice versa.

The "gold-digging" culture we have in most African countries must change, and is changing for the better. The independent ladies are those who do NOT depend on their partner for the bare necessities of life. They foot their own cinema bill, meal ticket, clothing bill, e.t.c, and they still respect their partner. It is only an educated illiterate man who will dislike these kind of ladies, most men consider these ladies to be an ideal package.

I had Africa/S.Asia plus some other regions where women depend mostly on men for daily bread in mind,the reason I used 'almost' but without sounding spiritual its a God given responsibility.
_{Please do not go there. ignore}
It worked well in the past cz there were no options and the women's role was concentrated around the homestead.
No party can be afford to be dormant in these economic times we are in.Besides most women are learned so there are equal opportunities for men as well as women.They can both bring bread home without any feeling inferior or superior.

Can you shout the red part for all men to hear cz I have seen them despise these same type ladies for reasons best known to them.
Many assume that Independent and Disrespectful go hand in hand. Its very romantic to be Independent and Respectful fyi.