Was this the case for anyone parents? Or is anyone doing this because of their kids?

Do you believe it right to stay in an unhappy marriage for the sake of the kids?

Define what an unhappy marriage is.

"Unhappy" means different things to different people so no definite answer to that.

Now, back to topic.

I had my reasons for asking you to define it coz what might be termed "unhappiness" in one marriage is often what another couple yearns for e.g a family where the husband is so up and doing, he barely comes home. He practically lives at his office and spends time with his family during the weekends. He's rich,his family lacks nothing but the wife is lonesome and unhappy. Compare this with another family where the wife is the sole provider while the husbands sits on the sofa,sips beer and watches soccer. This second is also unhappy and would trade places with the other woman in a heart beat. You had your reasons for opening this post. If you don't want wild theories flying all over the place, then be more open. Who is unhappy? You? A friend? What's the unhappiness about? Be specific.

harakiri:

I had my reasons for asking you to define it coz what might be termed "unhappiness" in one marriage is often what another couple yearns for e.g a family where the husband is so up and doing, he barely comes home. He practically lives at his office and spends time with his family during the weekends. He's rich,his family lacks nothing but the wife is lonesome and unhappy. Compare this with another family where the wife is the sole provider while the husbands sits on the sofa,sips beer and watches soccer. This second is also unhappy and would trade places with the other woman in a heart beat. You had your reasons for opening this post. If you don't want wild theories flying all over the place, then be more open. Who is unhappy? You? A friend? What's the unhappiness about? Be specific.

What does this have to do with the question?

I'm selfish,Yes I know but if i derieve no joy,happiness and satisfaction anymore from my marriage,I'm walking.

Im not talking of the normal bad days and daily challenges of marriage that are worked out.When it gets to enduring,daily prayers,abuse of any kind,when its glaring that its over and out,I'd peacefully go.My happiness and sanity as an individual matters.

The kids wont die.They wud understand when they get older.

ifyalways:

I'm selfish,Yes I know but if i derieve no joy,happiness and satisfaction anymore from my marriage,I'm walking.

Im not talking of the normal bad days and daily challenges of marriage that are worked out.When it gets to enduring,daily prayers,abuse of any kind,when its glaring that its over and out,I'd peacefully go.My happiness and sanity as an individual matters.

The kids wont die.They wud understand when they get older.

Thank you, you perfectly understand my thread.

I have a friend who is going thru this at the moment. He parents ain't happy but sticking together for the sake of the kids and she is not happy about this at all because the family just seem like a big dysfunctional family.

Call me selfish also but I wouldn't do that.

In my opinion kids suffer the most in a loveless marriage, whether they choose to remain together or not but i think more so when they stay together in a marriage that lacks harmony and love.
The kids can become unbalanced, lack self worth and may never get the courage it takes to disengage themselves from a disharmonious relationship in future.
If the conflict includes physical abuse ad mental torture its not been unseen that the kids seek this familiarity in their adult lives or they dish it out to their own partners but when you remove them to a peaceful and harmonious environment it becomes a case of mum and dad love u but are no longer in love with eachother, but u remain our angel or hero, and they can also go visiting.

Now having said the above it is easier said than done but its a great lesson on courage by e.g if the love is empty all that remains is conflict the its time to move on, life is for the living but not all living are alive.

Again just my opinion.

Which one is more beneficial for them

1 - To stay together living and not communicating & arguing just for the children ?

2 - Go Seperate ways and still show love and Parent their children ?

As a child I grew up with my parents always arguing and fighting and could not agree. One of the parties now had enough and as a result applied for divorce, although the other party did not want to break marriage. At that time as a young teen I was so happy that finally they were going their separate ways as peace is about to reign. So growing up for me was kind of a bit free as the covering that a family provides was missing as one party is living here and another living there so I could easily lie and say Im here and im not as the parents dont even communicate with each other.
So as I began to un spiral out of control as a youth I could say its because the family covering was not there.

I really think that even when the love is not there again, but the both have love for the children and want to stay together beacuse of them they can work on rebuilding the bridges as once upon a time they met and actually got married WHY Then They need to work hard on mending and result will be a win win for themselves and children.

In my case, both of my parentals now years down the line they both secretly have regret but are to stubborn to admit it, and their lives are so unfullfilling and its the grace of God that children are OK as we children chose a life for Christ.
But as a woman Now looking back I missed out on mother showing me how to cook etc and other things you learn from your mum or dad.

I have also seen parents who stay together for the kids and the parents dont talk to each other at all in the house and young kids see this and growing up like this and parents dont seem to see they are doing their children more harm than good staying together in these conditions.

Sometimes its better you experience this kind of issue. With that you'll know how it feels to live in a home that is already broken and has no hope of surviving. I also wish the parents really have their children at hear while they quarrel. And the most annoying thing about these quarrels is that they are mostly based on assumptions.