Straight to the point. I'm 10 years in marriage. These are my features/characteristics:
Petite, talkative, smile alot, too nice and polite.
I'm 39 years of age. The above features makes me vulnerable to some people. It's not what I do to please people. It is just my nature. I get disrespected on a daily basis, both at my previous workplace and even my neighbors because of this nature. I try greeting people I know, regardless of their age. The sad thing is: this disrespect comes from people far younger than me. GenZ especially. Now this gets to me. I respect you and am nice to you, is that an avenue for you to talk down on me? U don't feel you should reciprocate?
One instance, among others. A pregnant neighbors calls to beg me to pack her clothes when its about to rain or open the gate for workmen at the back flat, she's mostly in her shop. This is someone I'm 10 years older than, which she knows, but I do it without complaining. I do it all the time. Could you believe this afternoon, it was drizzling, I quickly ran out to pack my child's clothes. The neighbor was in the house ooo. Her clothes were there too but I had to take my clothes first. She angrily came out, walked pass me, and went to the backyard to park her clothes. I thought there was no issue, only for her to call me on her phone immediately she went inside. The first thing she said was: so I couldn't wake her to come park her clothes, I asked her if she didn't see me parking my own clothes. Before I finished talking, she ended the call. Am I right to feel angry or am I over reacting?
The thing is: I'm an extremist, when I get angry I usually cause a scene and say alot. I'm not normal at all. I'm not proud of this, that's why I always try to curb my anger. But people usually take my goodness for granted. I want it to really stop. How do I go about it?

MsJackson:
....Before I finished talking, she ended the call. Am I right to feel angry or am I over reacting?
The thing is: I'm an extremist, when I get angry I usually cause a scene and say alot. I'm not normal at all. I'm not proud of this, that's why I always try to curb my anger. But people usually take my goodness for granted. I want it to really stop. How do I go about it?

You remind me of me. Have you ever considered that there may just be nothing wrong with your approach to dealing with your neighbors and people around you, but rather that the population of arseholes in your surroundings just happens to be really high. Consider this and you will find that it may explain a lot of what it is you perceive there.

Here are my suggestions
□ do not abandon the good traits you have in order to accommodate arseholes out there. You will always loose if you do
□ Try to accept people as they are. Lower your expectations of them so you do not get unnecessarily inflamed by their reactions
□ in the case of your rude neighbor, it may be best to make yourself less available to her than you have been before now. At least until she provides you an explanation for her rude behavior that you think is worth considering
□ And work on your anger issues. It is best not to be bothered at all by what people do since na your mental health dey dey impacted

Kobojunkie:
You remind me of me. Have you ever considered that there may just be nothing wrong with your approach and instead there population of arseholes in your surroundings just happens to be really high. Consider this and you will find that it may explain a lot of what it is you perceive there.

Here are my suggestions
□ do not abandon the good traits you have in order to accommodate arseholes out there. You will always loose if you do
□ Try to accept people as they are. Lower your expectations of them so you do not get unnecessarily inflamed by their reactions
□ in the case of your rude neighbor, it may be best to make yourself less available to her than you have been before now. At least until she provides you an explanation for her rude behavior that you think is worth considering
□ And work on your anger issues. It is best not to be bothered at all by what people do since na your mental health dey dey impacted

Lol , my thoughts as well

There are like 3 cat of ppl I hate most.
Poor ppl
Jobless ppl
And haters..gossips..bad belle ppl them

My advice. Learn to put such people in their place and ignore anyone taking your niceness for stupidity

I can be very nice and at the same time nasty when people try to take me for granted. Like one girl I was trying to bring into my team to work with us, all of a sudden she started acting up. I just jejely park her one corner. Now she's trying to warm her way up to me but I'm keeping her at arms length.

Learn to dey your dey.

MsJackson:
Straight to the point. I'm 10 years in marriage. These are my features/characteristics:
Petite, talkative, smile alot, too nice and polite.
I'm 39 years of age. The above features makes me vulnerable to some people. It's not what I do to please people. It is just my nature. I get disrespected on a daily basis, both at my previous workplace and even my neighbors because of this nature. I try greeting people I know, regardless of their age. The sad thing is: this disrespect comes from people far younger than me. GenZ especially. Now this gets to me. I respect you and am nice to you, is that an avenue for you to talk down on me? U don't feel you should reciprocate?
One instance, among others. A pregnant neighbors calls to beg me to pack her clothes when its about to rain or open the gate for workmen at the back flat, she's mostly in her shop. This is someone I'm 10 years older than, which she knows, but I do it without complaining. I do it all the time. Could you believe this afternoon, it was drizzling, I quickly ran out to pack my child's clothes. The neighbor was in the house ooo. Her clothes were there too but I had to take my clothes first. She angrily came out, walked pass me, and went to the backyard to park her clothes. I thought there was no issue, only for her to call me on her phone immediately she went inside. The first thing she said was: so I couldn't wake her to come park her clothes, I asked her if she didn't see me parking my own clothes. Before I finished talking, she ended the call. Am I right to feel angry or am I over reacting?
The thing is: I'm an extremist, when I get angry I usually cause a scene and say alot. I'm not normal at all. I'm not proud of this, that's why I always try to curb my anger. But people usually take my goodness for granted. I want it to really stop. How do I go about it?

your problem is that u don’t know when to draw d line

How can u make yourself too available all in d name of mr nice?

U no get wife or are u a stay at home dad cos I don’t understand

Learn to ignore people and their idiotic behaviour, you can be angry with me and I'll walk past you like you dont exist, that's how much I care less about what people think of me, be your own person, be kind and nice, at the same time, learn to overlook some things, then ignore bad behaviour and energy

The only fault I see you have is age and respect, age doesn't automatically bring respect, respect is earned, the way you carry yourself around people matters alot, I am a short woman with curves and I know the way people see me even at work, they say alot about me at the office to the extent that they say I intimidate people and I'm proud, because I don't sit around gossiping or having group talks on what is not my business, even at that, there is no one I cannot mingle and flow with, even people I'm 10 years younger than are also my friends and they accord me my respect, because no one knows the future and who can help when the time comes, a child you know today can grow up to become you or your children's helper tomorrow, that's how life is, so don't always see things through age and respect cos it can hinder so many things for you, ire o.

Sharpsharp00123:
your problem is that u don’t know when to draw d line

How can u make yourself too available all in d name of mr nice?

U no get wife or are u a stay at home dad cos I don’t understand

I'm a wife and mother. Job hunting at the moment, and still learning some soft skills online

MsJackson:
I'm a wife and mother. Job hunting at the moment, and still learning some soft skills online

just know how to put a boundary on your relationship with people

Don’t always b too available n don’t always b willing to help even when u have d means

Many will abuse it