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Are Physical Attributes So Important? by TheUnsure: 9:51am On Jul 29, 2023 |
I need sensible contributions please, no trolls. I met a man recently who likes me a lot, maybe even love sef. He’s really serious and he wants to marry me but I’m not really feeling the whole thing for a few reasons. He’s probably a dream come true for some women, rich, caring, generous and there is a possibility of him becoming a king in some years (which I'm not really a fan of, royal families, royal issues). But my issue is that he has a wife already but they don’t have kids (the issue is from the wife) and he wants to marry me as second wife because he does not want to continue waiting after 10 years of marriage. And I know he would give me the world if I have kids with him. My main problem is attraction, it is not there. He has a small stature and I’m naturally drawn to tall guys. I’m taller than he is and I just can’t get over that. I know I would enjoy the relationship but I feel like I’m always going to be feeling like I settled. Please note, I’m a single mother of 2 in my early 30s and I’m not doing bad financially too. He’s been begging to be intimate and I’ve been responding with a firm No. I’m not interested in starting what I cannot finish. I know if I give in, I would grow to love him because he's actually a nice person but.... I told him No firmly last night that it can't work between us but this man has been relentless, I’m just wondering if I'm not making a mistake... No insults please, sensible inputs. Thanks 13 Likes |
Re: Are Physical Attributes So Important? by talented321: 10:01am On Jul 29, 2023 |
See ur face ''' No insults pls''' In her prime she will be ranting i can't be a second wife 'this 'that: madam u know tomorrow? i know u have made up ur mind since the first day he met u'' u are just here for some opinion. 80 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Are Physical Attributes So Important? by Whyzaid(f): 10:18am On Jul 29, 2023 |
Abeg face your children please, what are you looking for again since you're doing well financially? 55 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Are Physical Attributes So Important? by TheUnsure: 10:20am On Jul 29, 2023 |
Whyzaid: I've been on my own since I was 27, so I'm supposed to live the rest of my life alone When I didn't kill anybody 62 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Are Physical Attributes So Important? by Exmilitant(m): 10:21am On Jul 29, 2023 |
Even second hand you get choice This life na wa o. 76 Likes |
Re: Are Physical Attributes So Important? by Whyzaid(f): 10:24am On Jul 29, 2023 |
TheUnsure:Just considering your safety, what if the wife gets to know about your affair with her husband and tries to terminate your life untimely. Regardless follow your mind my sister and prepare your mind for the consequences 15 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Are Physical Attributes So Important? by TheUnsure: 10:30am On Jul 29, 2023 |
Whyzaid: You are partially right. The wife is aware her husband is taking a second wife, they agreed to it because she medically can't have kids. But we know how these things work, no woman wants to see her husband take a second wife. So as with many polygamous homes you have to be watching your back...another con. 5 Likes |
Re: Are Physical Attributes So Important? by TheUnsure: 10:31am On Jul 29, 2023 |
Exmilitant: You saw the sensible contributions part and you still went ahead, your second hand mum didnt try at all. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Are Physical Attributes So Important? by Exmilitant(m): 10:36am On Jul 29, 2023 |
TheUnsure:Second hand woman. second hand cloth. second hand woman. second hand wey men don use finish dump. e pain you 38 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Are Physical Attributes So Important? by ideamonster: 10:43am On Jul 29, 2023 |
OP, I read your question and understand your dilemma. Almost nobody here can give you accurate counsel but here are a few conversations and resources that should hopefully help you arrive at a decision you will be comfortable with for years to come. 1. What do you need to start a family? Most times young women are fixated about certain attributes in men that serve no purpose in a marriage. Can you eat his physical attractiveness? What if he's a hunk and he has an accident, would you leave? This video shows young women addressing what a Nigerian woman really needs to start a family https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cl43qph3dWQ 2. Is there a shortage of eligible husbands? There are a lot of men who can date you. But how many of them are qualified to be husbands, or of the marrying kind? There are yardsticks for assessing if a man is a marrying kind. In the video below, young women like yourself had to tell themselves hard truths about their chances finding suitable men. Like someone said, pen1s is abundant, but husbands are scarce. Pay attention to what the single mother in this story said after she was told the truth about the man she was dating. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DNoFXD4Bjo 3. How to make the tricky love decisions This conversation focuses on capitalising on available suitors. Whoever is wooing you now won't always be available. Opportunities of a lifetime have to be used within the lifetime of the opportunity. While the participants are obviously younger than you, I'm certain that you'll benefit greatly from the conversations that they are having. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJ2ulJMb_pk 4. Regretting the men who get away Are you certain that you won't regret losing this man? You need to be certain that a better offer comes along. In this conversation, there are women just like you who share their experiences of turning away suitors because of a variety of reasons. One had huge regrets, the other (just like you) was undecided. Pay attention to the girl wearing the pink tee-shirt. Her story appears closest to what you have narrated. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dz8ZVqReCJ0 I'm certain one of these stories should be helpful in decision making. Thank me later . UPDATE: I came back to read this after it hit front page and realised some comments made it seem like I'm encouraging you to marry him. That's far from the truth. Nobody here can give accurate-enough counsel to make a huge life-changing decision like getting married. But OP, if you've decided to go along with him, you need to be sure he isn't too good to be true. . Again, while this video below doesn't apply much, I think it contains a few cautionary tales- tings you should be skeptical about in his story. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EU3zIpAEQ64 Ultimately, the decision to take is yours. I wish you all the best. Ideamonster 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Are Physical Attributes So Important? by meobizy(f): 11:57am On Jul 29, 2023 |
Find somebody else, na. What is hard there? 11 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Are Physical Attributes So Important? by Proserpina: 12:11pm On Jul 29, 2023 |
19 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Are Physical Attributes So Important? by MICVOCT(m): 12:14pm On Jul 29, 2023 |
TheUnsure: <smile> I am not that sure you wouldn't marry him. However, having succinctly read your write-up, <least twice>..... In my own interest as demanded to contribute; here's my contribution, marry him. Side note; Both of you aren't that different. Perhaps, that relationship is gonna pay you most for some obvious reasons...... ✌️ 12 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Are Physical Attributes So Important? by MICVOCT(m): 12:21pm On Jul 29, 2023 |
meobizy: If what I read was true as written, ....it may not seems to be hard, but it is.... Some info. here should be decoded somehow.... listening from what wasn't said from what was said... O deep.... 1 Like |
Re: Are Physical Attributes So Important? by MICVOCT(m): 12:27pm On Jul 29, 2023 |
And to put more confusion as per the topic! Physical attribute is indeed important. 1 Like |
Re: Are Physical Attributes So Important? by Nobody: 12:28pm On Jul 29, 2023 |
It counts but I'll never give physical attributes a big deal when taking life decisions, my happiness matters alot to me. I'll not advise you to accept him going by all you wrote but I hope you don't regret it later in life. Again is his wife aware he's considering taking a second wife? Are you guys Muslims? 1 Like |
Re: Are Physical Attributes So Important? by TheUnsure: 1:00pm On Jul 29, 2023 |
MICVOCT: Lol, i dont think so. The package is juicy (promise of landed property and a lot more) but the main subject...physical attraction is very important for me. I love money and the good life but genuinely wanting my partner is also a big deal for me. 2 Likes |
Re: Are Physical Attributes So Important? by TheUnsure: 1:03pm On Jul 29, 2023 |
IconicR: They are Muslims, I'm not. |
Re: Are Physical Attributes So Important? by MICVOCT(m): 1:08pm On Jul 29, 2023 |
TheUnsure: Due to your sense of reasoning and humor added to your quote, which shows you're positive and willing to digest heavy food.... Here's my personal advise in a simple form and I must be blunt and sincere without been too sharp.... Marry him! My point still remain; YOU AREN'T THAT DIFFERENT TO EACH OTHER! You aren't! 3 Likes |
Re: Are Physical Attributes So Important? by fyzaila: 9:08am On Jul 30, 2023 |
You want him abi you don't want him? Hmmm marriage is not something you gamble around o. You have to be very very sure you can spend the rest of your life with him. Forget all those sweet mouth and cajoling. Are you sure he is not after you because he has seen that you're reproductive and that's what he is after not really love. How can he be pressuring to be intimate with him? Is that all he wants from you? I can bet you that he loves his wife so much for him to have waited for 10yrs without kids from her couple with the fact that she's the one with the problem. And you're even of different religion in this Nigeria. Ungwanu kontinue 2 Likes |
Re: Are Physical Attributes So Important? by tunjijones(m): 1:23pm On Jul 30, 2023 |
Yes, expecially in showbiz and sport. Basketball players are tall, weight lifters are strong and muscular. 1 Like |
Re: Are Physical Attributes So Important? by Migaret972: 1:23pm On Jul 30, 2023 |
Yes sure it counts |
Re: Are Physical Attributes So Important? by Kemadealadire(f): 1:24pm On Jul 30, 2023 |
Omo, hmmn, going for a widower or single man is better. You aren't a baby making machine. 2 Likes |
Re: Are Physical Attributes So Important? by Obakoolex(m): 1:24pm On Jul 30, 2023 |
Thank God you know what you're getting into Just be true to yourself if you can face the challenges which will surely come. And moreover what happened to the father (s) of your kids? The answer determines if you're suitable for polygamy. 1 Like |
Re: Are Physical Attributes So Important? by fabolas029: 1:25pm On Jul 30, 2023 |
I believe so |
Re: Are Physical Attributes So Important? by McOluOmo: 1:25pm On Jul 30, 2023 |
H |
Re: Are Physical Attributes So Important? by mainman7(m): 1:26pm On Jul 30, 2023 |
Yes and no. This is why https://www.nairaland.com/7783954/wow-why-said-tinubu-make 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Are Physical Attributes So Important? by bassdow: 1:26pm On Jul 30, 2023 |
sometimes, that attraction / chemistry grows with time. it's not always there at the beginning. Love the fact you're financially responsible enough to be honest with yourself. Some Men are only Nice at the initial stage, and since you're already a singleMum of 2, you don't want to have Kids from multiple men unnecessarily. Maybe, you open up to him, let him know you want you guys to take things slow (which He might not want), and that intimacy for now is a NO for you. If he agrees, then give things a chance. issue is when men are after Kids for whatever reason, even the devil would appear as a god. Meanwhile, this thing called attraction isn't all that's involved because with time, it would fade. 8 Likes |
Re: Are Physical Attributes So Important? by chukel(m): 1:26pm On Jul 30, 2023 |
TheUnsure:how did you end up as a single mother of 2 14 Likes |
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