Hello Nairalanders, please I need your suggetions on this.

So I have left my baby's father since February 2022, prior to that time, I left earliar in March 2019. Anytime I leave this man alone, he always comes bac begging and calling some of my family memebers to plead with me. I have three kids with him, of which my first son is 9 years and my last is 3 years, I wasnt willing to have the last child, but it was due to pressure on going bac to meet him, I got pregnant. Since I met this man after my secondary school, he was at first a caring and supportive man, because we stay on the same street and attended the same secondary school, so my family nows his too. We were all cool till I had my first pregnancy, that crippled me and made my life journey paused, I had to go stay with him, in his parents house, because my dad was so angry with me then and wasnt wanting to see me, to cut the long story short, I gave birth, and startede taing care of the baby in his parents house still. Later on we went to reconcile with my dad and he promised coming to pay my brideprice soon, then my boyfried was learning how to be a furniture man, but still staying under his parents. After my baby became 7 months, I had to start hawking cold zobo drinks to also make ends meet for myself and gather some money, (that is what my mum does too, so I do assist her sometimes then, so I already learnt from her). When my baby was 1 year nd 3 months old, I had to speak to my boyfriend for us to leave the house, because it was a one room face me i face you apartment she was staying with me and her children including my boyfriend and my baby, so we rented a one room apartment on the same street. I paid half of the money from the savings I gather, the rent was 30,000, I paid 15,000 and he completed the other part. I got pregnant again with our second child. I had to reduce the way I hawk my zobo drink. I know that my husband is a lazy man but I thought because he was still staying under his mum and she was providing for him, but when we started staying on our own, this man became so lazy that he doesnt even go to work at all, not that he he is not good in furniture making, but he will sit at home and be waiting for me to provide for my children, when i reported him to his mum he became agile for like 3 months and was droping 200 naira for me to manage with my two kids for a whole day, I had to singlehandedly pay the rent for our house two times, till I parked out of his house the first time which he was even happy with, his mum came to carry my kids, later on after 4 months he came begging and said he will be a changed man, i went back with him, got pregnant again, I wanted to abort but I was getting visions of dying if i try to abort because I new late about the pregnancy, I was just so disappointed in myself, I gave birth to my third child. Not long long after the birth of my third child, he started with is nonchalant attitude, I became a an hungry slave in his house with 3 kids, he will go out early in the morning, come back around 1 a.m sneak i n and just sleep, next morning hes out, doesnt care about his family, rent on standby, landlord coming to disturb everyday, i became a laughing stock in the neighorhood, his mum had to help me find a job has a sales girl somewhere close, i had to do contribution to pay our rent, my children school fees and sort out bills in the house, and this man will still come home sitout side and by food outside, eat full before sneaking in to sleep, i got fed up and spoke to his mum, my mum and him about it. My mum asked me to come back home, and he said I am going nowhere with my 3 children, I disagreed, because I know they will not be taking care of, until his mum offered to take the kids in with her, I then left the house in the early hours of 11th Febraury, 2022, he watched me has I parked all my load that night, ,didnt say a word, till I left in the morning.

Now this same man his trying to guilttrip me to come back to meet him that I dont care for my kids, that he doesnt want another woman to train our kids, and that he wants me back with him. I spoke to someppl in our area who are famiuliar with him, they said I should watch him, but he may be truly a changed man, I told him to go get a place of his own first of all before I think of coming back to him, I traveled down to his mum's place last week to see my kids, because thats how I do monthly. He came to meet me there and took me to a house that he ahs rented, and was pleading with me to come back to him and using our kids as a main point. Now I dont know what to do, I am confused, I just left my last job which I was doing as a bar sales girl because of poor pay, since all this while my kids has been with his mum I do send 9,000 to her monthly for feeding of the kids, and she still do call me to complain about other things, sometimes I pay their school fees too, infact the 3 of them last school fees, I was the one that paid it, and my salary is just #20,000. So I am just confused although am looking for a better job, but himself is telling me i am worthless in the society because I left my kids with him which he refused me carrying them and that i wont be respected by anybody because i left my babby fathers who is irresponsible house, please I need ytour advice, what should I do in this situation, I am confused.

What type of toy story book is THIS? You can tell the character in the book to go and get pregnant for the fourth child, and after giving birth again, you can come and give us the fourth chapter of the book, just that many people don't read books anymore, this book is not interesting anyways, just a typical Nollywood stereotyped film which you know how it will finish after two minutes of watching

I want to ask you a question...
If you die today, will those kids and your baby daddy survive or not?

Life wahala
I don't know what to tell you but what you need most now is a job to sustain you and the kids.

Ask him to open business for you before going back.

Av

Am touched by your text some men are messed up there parent made them lazy they can’t defend them self with out there parent support Haba some woman have loving mind oh . Some women will have gone far and never come back . The truth is that your boyfriend or husband as no woman that will stay with him or want him for he’s behaviors and lazy lifestyle so imagine he just want to scope you to come so he can se.x you as usually some men no get sense he doesn’t have money but is active for sex dam he want to fool you to come so he can have a woman close by to sleep with which is you. Now madam go and live your life forget love first now na love your children one chop with man way no fit even provide for in own kids how will he even take care of wife . Wise up don’t be only bed material to anyone .. now face your work more improve I swear my sister if you set your self well better man go taste you even marry regardless of 3 kids or not . My sister better men go toast you if you package your self well

You are trying my dear it’s not easy as a woman to shoulder all these responsibilities and at the same time again it’s easy. You had the 1st, 2nd and 3 rd with all these issues with him anyways that’s family for you, bearing the pains and enjoying when there is surplus, you must go back he is not the deadly type, he is not the beating type , he is not the diabolical type and not even the stupid type . The only problem here is lack of money which he is trying to sort out , if you hear of other peoples marriage you will thank God for the one you have , you must work together with him to make sure the marriage works no man is a saint I am not defending his character but the devil you know is better than the angel you don’t know. Don’t think of moving out of the family the way some ladies do any small issues they are already outside their marriages, can’t you pray for him make him see reasons why some things he is doing are not right ? Well where two elephants fight is the grass on the area that suffers it

Three kids....
The problem here is your guy' the manchi is not serious with his life... Even u urself don't have calculation how can you just born kids like that with no sign of a stable future...
*go back to him when he rent a 1bed room flat or a standard self contain...
*find out if he is serious' a father of three kids should atleast has to spend the least 3k to 10k everyday. You can observe from him to know whether he is ready now.
*before going back' let him open an average shop u can manage with THE kids incase he misbehave..
*madam to feed three kid with urself and husband is a whole community' so if you miscalculate again it will only take god's grace for you to even train any of ur kid abover o-level.
*for now you don't need to bring kid to this world for the next 3 to 5 years times' you have to know where ur life and that of ur husband is going before talking about another child again..
ALL THE SAME NO ONE IS PERFECT BUT PLEASE LEARN FROM MISTAKE'' IF NOT POVERY WILL DEAL WITH YOU...

Firstly, I won't outrightly say you should not go back to him because the way you women reason, only God knows. Please I take God beg you, if you must go back to him, make sure you do a strong family plan that won't fail you.

You are a responsible mother from what you wrote up there, just focus on your children, don't expect much from him. And like I said earlier, don't ever make a mistake of getting pregnant again.

RevoOd:
Hello Nairalanders, please I need your suggetions on this.

So I have left my baby's father since February 2022, prior to that time, I left earliar in March 2019. Anytime I leave this man alone, he always comes bac begging and calling some of my family memebers to plead with me. I have three kids with him, of which my first son is 9 years and my last is 3 years, I wasnt willing to have the last child, but it was due to pressure on going bac to meet him, I got pregnant. Since I met this man after my secondary school, he was at first a caring and supportive man, because we stay on the same street and attended the same secondary school, so my family nows his too. We were all cool till I had my first pregnancy, that crippled me and made my life journey paused, I had to go stay with him, in his parents house, because my dad was so angry with me then and wasnt wanting to see me, to cut the long story short, I gave birth, and startede taing care of the baby in his parents house still. Later on we went to reconcile with my dad and he promised coming to pay my brideprice soon, then my boyfried was learning how to be a furniture man, but still staying under his parents. After my baby became 7 months, I had to start hawking cold zobo drinks to also make ends meet for myself and gather some money, (that is what my mum does too, so I do assist her sometimes then, so I already learnt from her). When my baby was 1 year nd 3 months old, I had to speak to my boyfriend for us to leave the house, because it was a one room face me i face you apartment she was staying with me and her children including my boyfriend and my baby, so we rented a one room apartment on the same street. I paid half of the money from the savings I gather, the rent was 30,000, I paid 15,000 and he completed the other part. I got pregnant again with our second child. I had to reduce the way I hawk my zobo drink. I know that my husband is a lazy man but I thought because he was still staying under his mum and she was providing for him, but when we started staying on our own, this man became so lazy that he doesnt even go to work at all, not that he he is not good in furniture making, but he will sit at home and be waiting for me to provide for my children, when i reported him to his mum he became agile for like 3 months and was droping 200 naira for me to manage with my two kids for a whole day, I had to singlehandedly pay the rent for our house two times, till I parked out of his house the first time which he was even happy with, his mum came to carry my kids, later on after 4 months he came begging and said he will be a changed man, i went back with him, got pregnant again, I wanted to abort but I was getting visions of dying if i try to abort because I new late about the pregnancy, I was just so disappointed in myself, I gave birth to my third child. Not long long after the birth of my third child, he started with is nonchalant attitude, I became a an hungry slave in his house with 3 kids, he will go out early in the morning, come back around 1 a.m sneak i n and just sleep, next morning hes out, doesnt care about his family, rent on standby, landlord coming to disturb everyday, i became a laughing stock in the neighorhood, his mum had to help me find a job has a sales girl somewhere close, i had to do contribution to pay our rent, my children school fees and sort out bills in the house, and this man will still come home sitout side and by food outside, eat full before sneaking in to sleep, i got fed up and spoke to his mum, my mum and him about it. My mum asked me to come back home, and he said I am going nowhere with my 3 children, I disagreed, because I know they will not be taking care of, until his mum offered to take the kids in with her, I then left the house in the early hours of 11th Febraury, 2022, he watched me has I parked all my load that night, ,didnt say a word, till I left in the morning.

Now this same man his trying to guilttrip me to come back to meet him that I dont care for my kids, that he doesnt want another woman to train our kids, and that he wants me back with him. I spoke to someppl in our area who are famiuliar with him, they said I should watch him, but he may be truly a changed man, I told him to go get a place of his own first of all before I think of coming back to him, I traveled down to his mum's place last week to see my kids, because thats how I do monthly. He came to meet me there and took me to a house that he ahs rented, and was pleading with me to come back to him and using our kids as a main point. Now I dont know what to do, I am confused, I just left my last job which I was doing as a bar sales girl because of poor pay, since all this while my kids has been with his mum I do send 9,000 to her monthly for feeding of the kids, and she still do call me to complain about other things, sometimes I pay their school fees too, infact the 3 of them last school fees, I was the one that paid it, and my salary is just #20,000. So I am just confused although am looking for a better job, but himself is telling me i am worthless in the society because I left my kids with him which he refused me carrying them and that i wont be respected by anybody because i left my babby fathers who is irresponsible house, please I need ytour advice, what should I do in this situation, I am confused.

Where is your location? First, you need a good job to think straight!

dawnomike:
Where is your location? First, you need a good job to think straight!

Oju-ore, Ogun State

seun wtf?

what's with your bots and posting fake stories

did the OP change genders or wtf happened to this

https://www.nairaland.com/6522872/been-having-suicidal-thoughts-tired

fuxn kids

Olasyke:
Loll

What is funny here?
Obviously you can't contribute anything. Shior

Olasyke:
seun wtf?

what's with your bots and posting fake stories??

did the OP genders or wtf happened to your 100k salary and fiverr life or the 35k bolt?

https://www.nairaland.com/6522872/been-having-suicidal-thoughts-tired

fuxn kids

*this a real life story of someone closed to me, i posted it to get different views, we have advised but seems shes not listening, so i posted it soi hshe could read replies herself

RevoOd:


*this a real life story of someone closed to me, i posted it to get different views, we have advised but seems shes not listening, so i posted it soi hshe could read replies herself

Alright then. Happy hunting.

Olasyke:
seun wtf?

what's with your bots and posting fake stories??

did the OP genders or wtf happened to your 100k salary and fiverr life or the 35k bolt?

https://www.nairaland.com/6522872/been-having-suicidal-thoughts-tired

fuxn kids

Thanks for this... I'm out!!!

Don't fall for that cheap scam, he's trying to lure you back and hit the fourth kid. Tell him to see me

If u love urself.. don't go....
Get ur life all together..
You don't need a man like ur baby daddy..
After all he's has not even paid bride price.

The way poor people bring children to the world


For who to take care of.

Your father made a grave mistake.

He is a very ungodly man.

He could not forgive till you have birth.

I am sure you had a hard time growing up.

Fact is you dey open legs.

When he cum inside you. You don't think of postinor. Knowing fully well he no dey take responsibility. Condom nko.

Do you know it is wicked to deliberately bring children to suffer.

2 is okay bit you went to 3 them maybe 4.

I am sure he could not find a gal to keep fuckin daily.

You na sure odd. He gats stake all

Waffarianman:
Don't fall for that cheap scam, he's trying to lure you back and hit the fourth kid. Tell him to see me

Ahswear! Fourth baby loading