HOW MUCH DO YOU RATE THE MARRIAGE INSTITUTION?

Marriage?
Marriage is a beautiful institution. It's one of the most beautiful gifts God gave man. At least, 99.9% of humans desire to get married in their lifetime.

Quick Questions
But how do we view marriage? How much commitment are we willing to invest in marriage? Are you just getting married because the society demands you do? How much do you rate the marriage institution? Are you going into a marriage to see how things go? Is it your desire to spend the rest of your life with whoever you choose to tie the knot with? What fantasies do you have about marriage?

Opinion
You have cherished the marriage institution for so long, and it is now time for you to choose a life partner. You then decided to settle for a partner that doesn't share your passion about marriage. I assure you, this marriage will end before it starts. When passions don't match in marriage, it's a call for disaster.

The more you make efforts to make a partner, who doesn't rate marriage so much, see how much the marriage means to you, the more he/she thinks you are being obsessive.

You love to make beautiful dishes as a woman, you want to be home with the children and their father, making jokes and creating beautiful memories, but he prefers hanging out with his friends than spend time norturing love and togetherness in his home.

Or as a man, you cherish marriage very much, but you are married to a woman who enters marriage with a mindset of an independent woman, you could soon be in trouble with her ego.

Short Story
I met a lady some years back, she was beautiful and admirable. She was 32 years of age and had not married at the time, and even till date. She was industrious and wealthy. She could afford virtually everything she wanted. She was equally well mannered and we shared certain rich values and beliefs. I admired her a lot and felt she would make a good partner.

I happened to be her talking buddy for a very long time, and at a time, I started to notice her nonchalance for marriage. I recall the day she told me how her boyfriend of over one year broke up with her because she told him he's dispensable, and she didn't see so much wrong in what she said. In fact she felt the young man was overreacting. This was a man you were deeply in love with.

You had finalised plans to marry him, and had met his parents and everyone else that needed to be met, and then you say that to him? Rubbished his ego like that? Well he broke her heart and moved on from her. She cried for weeks before later opening up to me.

This same lady also told me during one of our many conversations that she could take care of her children alone if her marriage goes south. This statement can only come from a person that will never give her one hundred percent in marriage.

You can now imagine a man who sees marriage as important as making heaven, now getting married to such a lady. It's a disaster waiting to happen.

Advice
Singles have to be aware of how their partner views marriage. You should know marriage needs 100% commitment from both partners for it to stand the test of time. As much as this is not the only thing that'll make a marriage work, it is the strongest foundation you can build a marriage on.

However, please do not think for once that people who don't give their all in marriage are bad, selfish or insensitive. They are not. They just don't see it as you see it. We all have a right to how we see things. Some people are okay with being a babymama or a babydaddy.

But ensure to measure the level of commitment your partner is willing to put into making his marriage work before getting married to him. Measure it, compare it with yours, are they equally matched or close to equal? Are they extremely distant from each other? Then make your decision, because that can largely determine the life span of your union in marriage.



N.B: You can be the reason why a person starts to fall in love with the marriage institution, but don't make the mistake of marrying such a person before making efforts to make them love it. And make sure they don't pretend to love it just to get you to the aisle. I don't think anyone needs to be told people go into marriage with all kinds of selfish reasons, chief of all, money


_Anthony Olawumi_


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