6:09am this morning, the parents of this dude whose 18th birthday was yesterday, called me to make a complaint.

The lad left home since 5:30pm yesterday and hadn't returned home. All efforts to reach him through yesterday and the night proved abortive.

They called to see if I could assist with the search (being his one time WAEC lesson private tutor 3 years ago)

After I got off the call, I headed to his WhatsApp DM to know the matters arising.

“Let me check his WhatsApp status first,” I said to myself.

Omor wetin I see with my eyes, na wetin I never experience for my own life.

This dude posted several WhatsApp stories between 12 midnight and 4am, meaning he was safe.

Man was basking in the euphoria of "skimpy things" in what seem to be like a club.

Few semi naked “heavy duties” hear and there grinding the sh*t out of his new adult life as if to say, “Welcome to adulthood, my King.”

Ordinary cups before him appearing sinful by the indwelling of all kinds of liquor.

Man was soaring on cloud 9, so high he probably couldn't walk on a straight line.

With urgency, I stopped viewing the never ending statuses so I won't lose my salvation.

Looked around to see if I could get an eye drop to cleanse my eyes, specifically the one called "God Abegxycylline.”

I picked up my phone, dialed the dad's number, he picked and I went thus;

“Sir, from my end, I'm making conscious efforts to verify about his whereabouts. I believe he's in safe HANDS, wherever he is. I have this conviction that he's doing fine and will be back home in no time. Please don't let your wife panic. If he survived last night, he won't be scared of anything again.”

“Thank you Ben for the reassuring words,” he said.

When the call ended, I sent this lost-but-found mofo an SMS,

“Barry, I'd like to carry out some tests on you free of charge, HIV, Hepatitis B & C and Syphilis.”

The werey get mind reply, “Okay sir. We'll see by weekend.”