Nebes:
I'll keep it short.

We've had series of useless and lazy househelps. They are a necessary evil for us given our busy schedules, kids and big house. Last year we got lucky to get Rukky, a beautiful and hardworking young woman. Rukky has just informed my wife that she is not returning after the Xmas holidays and my wife is now blaming me. Her reason is shocking to me and I need the opinion of married women and ladies in general.

My wife said that Rukky left because I made no attempts to flirt with her after 9 months. It was obvious Rukky liked me but I always acted like she was not there. How do I flirt with another woman under the same roof with my wife and kids? My wife believes that if I had given Rukky a little attention she would have stayed longer. She is just missing the girl's hardworking nature.

I truly don't understand this.

Foodqueen:
Is she blaming you for real or just joking around with it.

Klass99:
This sounds like a crap load of bullshit! But let me indulge you by saying, you, your wife and Rukky are not alright at all. Your opening sentence and paragraph about a string of useless and lazy househelps, and them being a necessary evil, rubbed me the wrong way.

Were they truly useless and lazy or did you and wifey want to pass the bulk of your parental responsibilities on to them? And when they couldn't cope or were unwilling to work so much for little pay, you saw them as useless and lazy.

Necessary evil, kwa? Dem no send you message to start a family o.

Nebes:
I'll keep it short.

We've had series of useless and lazy househelps. They are a necessary evil for us given our busy schedules, kids and big house. Last year we got lucky to get Rukky, a beautiful and hardworking young woman. Rukky has just informed my wife that she is not returning after the Xmas holidays and my wife is now blaming me. Her reason is shocking to me and I need the opinion of married women and ladies in general.

My wife said that Rukky left because I made no attempts to flirt with her after 9 months. It was obvious Rukky liked me but I always acted like she was not there. How do I flirt with another woman under the same roof with my wife and kids? My wife believes that if I had given Rukky a little attention she would have stayed longer. She is just missing the girl's hardworking nature.

I truly don't understand this.

Klass99:


Everything looks easy when you are not the one doing it. But if it were actually that easy, you and wifey wouldn't need the house-helps in the first place would you?

Are you saying every maid who passed through your house was like this? How many kids do you have? My neighbour has 4 kids, all boys, her maids come and go like a revolving door. I don't blame them because the workload in that house is too much.

I once did two weeks baby sitting for a toddler, an energetic 2 year old who sapped my energy like crazy. I was going to bed tired and waking up tired, my work-outs were suspended because I didn't have any energy to work out after dealing with her each day. Thankfully, I hate a messy environment so no matter how drained I was I made certain the house was always clean. There was no way I was going to allow a two year old over-flog and over-swamp me to that point.

It is not about how much you pay them or other perks they enjoy. If the work load surpasses the money, perks and their energy (like my neighbour's case) they will either bounce or start to let things slip through the cracks.

Nebes:


I now understand why part of the story offended you. Let me paint a brief picture for you.
Their work is to keep the house clean. They are not involved in the children's care, feeding or cooking major meals. We ( me, wifey and kids) all leave the house 7:30am (school runs) and return 5pm on a good day. Biko how stressful is it to sweep, wash plates and probably hang clothes out to dry and bring them in? The clothes are washed with the washing machine. They have almost 10 hours of unsupervised work a day. We their bosses don't have that kind of luxury. Their evening work is to help prepare dinner and wash up after. They retire 9pm on the average daily.
My opinion is that my house gives them room to be very lazy as there's almost no work. My wife and I stand on our feet working almost throughout the day so we need some help in the evenings. Is that too much to ask for? We bathe, feed and dress up our kids ourselves. I can go on and on. They start begging when we ask them to leave but Rukky appreciated her work and the environment.

Nebes:
I'll keep it short.

We've had series of useless and lazy househelps. They are a necessary evil for us given our busy schedules, kids and big house. Last year we got lucky to get Rukky, a beautiful and hardworking young woman. Rukky has just informed my wife that she is not returning after the Xmas holidays and my wife is now blaming me. Her reason is shocking to me and I need the opinion of married women and ladies in general.

My wife said that Rukky left because I made no attempts to flirt with her after 9 months. It was obvious Rukky liked me but I always acted like she was not there. How do I flirt with another woman under the same roof with my wife and kids? My wife believes that if I had given Rukky a little attention she would have stayed longer. She is just missing the girl's hardworking nature.

I truly don't understand this.

Stevenbright:


She might not mean "flirt" in the real sense of the word.

She probably meant appreciating her presence and work and once in a while having a few honest chatter with her that shows you recognize her importance in the house.

jaszplus12:

The same she who would have loved the idea will be the same who's going to say the idea was yours and you're planning to sleep with her!