The idea that once you have some tashere you'll be pulling others out of poverty - hmmm. Well in some cases, it's good to help someone in need BUT it is also important not to be taken as someone who will fill the gap for you and be consistently be the MAGA!

I have a friend, who took me for a fool and would always come with one issue or the other and tbh I was a fool - that person that knows truly that she was a fool.

I knew this person over 24 years ago and I literally stopped giving her anything for the last 3 years because - its one excuse or the other!

In our younger days its money for this money for that - serial bigger

After uni, she got a job and then lost the job as the offices were downsizing - this was over 11 years ago now

She's married but yes, struggles however refuses go do anything about where they are financially - because there is someone who would ALWAYS give when she asks - the maga!

It's dad has this issues, it's mum wants this, it's my son doesn't have this, it's my husband has the problem- my sister has done this, I can't overburden her BUT when you say, you've got to work or do something to get you out of this issued you're having then the answer is - I can't do this, I can't do that, I have this pain or that pain!

I can't give you fish but will teach you to fish - BUT ehn, Just give me this - I have back pain, I have waist pain - am I the only one, I've prayed and prayed but it seems no answer, it seems everytime I go to see someone for help, when it gets to me, they ignore it.

OK - you can make cakes - but not selling
You can make clothes but too lazy
You can make hair, again too lazy
A lot of skills has been deposited into you but you refuse to use it to bring yourself out of poverty - why?

You have someone somewhere who would give you everytime you ask.

Imagine even when you're told - I cannot afford to give you as I've got things I need to sort out- you still find a way to ask.

When I didn't have a job, the asking reduced, as soon as job came, asking resumed.

When I calculated how much she got in a year through me, she could as well go and work as its someone's salary. I could have used it to buy a land and raised it a bit!

Last straw - I want to ask for something but dunno how - my husband has done enough, please whatever you and your husband can do for me will be appreciated!

Yes admittedly, I encouraged all of this and the day I said NO and then made sure NO was NO that day I wasn't a friend anymore - which was good for me.

There is a black tax

Did the helper become complacent? Was the helper stupid? Was it emotional blackmail?

Help people to be financially responsible otherwise they will be a burden and you will detest them

Don't promise to do what you cannot

If the person you are trying to help doesn't want to be lifted out of poverty then walk away otherwise your financials will become a sinking ship!

This attitude can make you cut off everyone - you shouldn't feel overburdened by any request. Don't get bullied or emotionally black mailed to do stuff you shouldn't do. Always consider those who would want to bring themselves out of poverty rather than bring you down to their level.

Think before you give