Please help me console a friend:

She has been married for 5 years and lives in the diaspora - her husband cheated on her 3 times that she found solid evidence over the period of time.
He hardly provided for home necessities and was generally not supportive. He is a show off - likes to dress, drive a good car and all his salary would go to those expenses while her salary would go to make sure the bills and rent were paid.

Well she finally had enough after catching him cheating again with solid evidence that he could not deny. He tried the usual cry beg plead business but she decided enough is enough she is well educated. Makes six figures and they were fortunate not to have any children. She was working on her PHD - while he refused to further his education.

So she filed for divorce - and got divorce finalized. She left him in the apartment they were renting and left with the clothes on her back.
She is glad she came to that decision but she says it hurts so bad. She cries herself to sleep at night and at times even misses the man - she has not contacted him at all despite his trying to over the months. She knows she will never go back. But she said it still hurts a lot. Is this the grieving stage? What does one say during this period? She also says that at times she feels very h, ny and just needs companionship and at those times thinks of him. Is this normal? How long does this stage last before she will be emotionally free of him.

As a friend I am very glad she left as she is beautiful educated and has a wonderful personality. He really took advantage of her. Any words of encouragement I should give her will be appreciated.

Thank you

Your friend is strong and courageous, and thank you for being a true friend. When I passed thru mine I had only my Dad to talk too, my friends were stylishly avioding me and gossiping. You re a good friend, all she needs now is just you being there, not words, just let her grieve, it will pass. All my Dad kept saying to me when I was in this same stage was " this will pass" at that point I thought he was delusional because even though I had been hurt greatly I felt like a loser a failure and the most unattractive woman ever. In my mind at that point I had imagined being alone and dying lonely and dejected as I had been told I would if I had divorced but as my Father rightly predicted it passed and I am glad I went thru all dat to get me to my present state.
Just be there for your friend, if you have weekends or free time try to drag her out of the house take her to a spa, window shopping or the movies, just a silly girls weekend out.
There is so much hypocrcy in marriage and divorce in our society, am a christain and even Christ who restricted divorce gave adultery as a condition for divorce, yet pple will justify and defend adultery but will crucify a woman who decides to say no more and walk out of an adulterous marriage, calling her all sorts of names. All your friend needs now is to be real, and der for her, if she is crying let her, she will get through this and believe me soon she will look back and remember that this was d rough road she took to happiness.

Your pal (if she exists - she sounds too perfect to ber real) is second hand goods, why don't they have kids? This is the kind of diasporas story that you sad lonely girls need to put up a front that you are happy. If you want advise, tell your pal to buy a Love Machine - the top of the line model, it will never cheat on her, will not ask questions about why she can't get pregnant. There are so many advantages to a Love Machine. OP you may consider getting one.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Is it not better to be 2nd hand than a 'dead hand''?

LOL the reason they did not have kids is because she was finishing up her PHD. It was agreed upon. And yes ofcourse it will be the womans fault that the man was philandering and not providing for the home. *sigh* at all the stupid men who care nothing for women

@debrief08 - hugs for me for being as courageous as my friend. Thank you for your advice. I just called her and taking her out for lunch later today. Her family has been very supportive as well although they live in a different state. As you say this will pass. Hugs

If you can get married. . . you can get divorced.
YUP! GETTING DIVORCED IS A WHOLE LOT HARDER THAN GETTING MARRIED!
Only when you have done both would you understand.

MARRIAGE IS LIKE CLIMBING A LADDER. . . YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW FAR YOU HAVE CLIMBED. . .TILL YOU HAVE LOOKED DOWN THE LADDER OF MARRIAGE AKA (DIVORCE). . .

The only question is: DO YOU JUMP AND BREAK YOUR NECK. . . OR DO YOU CLIMB DOWN TACTFULLY WITHOUT KILLING YOURSELF?

I choose the latter option ALWAYS!

If you wanno get a divorce. . .PLAN CAREFULLY AND CRAFTILLY. . .DO NOT HURRY!

So she filed for divorce - and got divorce finalized. She left him in the apartment they were renting and left with the clothes on her back.
[size=20pt]She is glad she came to that decision but she says it hurts so bad.[/size] She cries herself to sleep at night and at times even misses the man - she has not contacted him at all despite his trying to over the months. [size=20pt]She knows she will never go back. But she said it still hurts a lot.[/size] Is this the grieving stage? What does one say during this period? [size=20pt]She also says that at times she feels very h, ny and just needs companionship and at those times thinks of him.[/size] Is this normal? How long does this stage last before she will be emotionally free of him

Don't be deceived! IT WOULS HURT WORSE THAN HELL!!!

Like I always say A BAD MARRIAGE IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN A SWEET DIVORCE!IT WOULD HURT LIKE HELL. . .MARRIAGE PROTECTS YOU FROM RIFF-RAFFS. . .ONLINE AND OFFLINE. OTHER MISERABLE WOMEN AND MEN ONLINE ESPECIALLY . . .WANT WHAT YOU HAVE!!!! DON'T THROW IT AWAY!!!!

This is a perfect example why! DIVORCE ONLY COMPOUNDS YOUR PROBLEMS. . . . IN MOST CASES! ONLY 10% of divorces have good outcomes and for only one party! SOMEONE ALWAYS GETS BURNED. . .AND IT IS USUALLY THE WOMEN!!!!

*abeg wey my darling husband and children jare . . . divorce ko, divorce ni. . . the only way I will get divorced in this my old age is: IF I SEE A SUPER RICH MAN. . . .I only do chop and clean mouth*

*COUGH-COUGH. . . E BADU BELLE AND E JOLOSI. . . .PELE O. . . GET YOURS, KEEP YOURS, DON'T KILL YOURS* MY OPEN MARRIAGE STILL ROCKETH FOR EVER. . . NO QUENCH O!