You'll be wondering what tf am i saying? Calms.
We feel too comfortable around our friends. We're not jolted into reality. We slack behind most times in developing ourselves, especially if we are at par with our friends(Humans mostly make friends with their mates) financially, socially, education, etc. As a matter of fact, if you do not have enemies, then you are not making headway in life. Enemies arise because they feel threatened with what you do.


Also, we are never alert to dangers. With enemies, we feel the urge to always keep the guards up, 'cos we don't know when our enemies will strike.

While with our friends, we believe we are at total safety, greater than the walls of China. We do not realize that if we are to fall in any time of our lives, our friends are always instrumental to it.

Why? They know us more than the enemies do. They are the Trojan horse in which the Greek enemies entered the City of Troy in our lives.
I repeat, no enemy can hurt you, if they do not have insider information about you.
In other words, you're safer with your enemies than your friends.
Why?

Your enemies already know they are a threat to you. You'll glaringly see any move they make which most times, they won't want to make, because fingers will directly be pointed to them.
But your friends?
You know how it is.

On the flip side, learn to convert your enemies to friends.
This sounds crazier?
Let's take a look.
More often than not, a friend will not feel indebted to you, if you've helped them rise to the pinnacle of power. They'll believe it's their own merit that took them there and most times, they bite the hand that fed them.


Most of these friends always have the ill intent to usurp their friend-cum-benefactor in higher echelon, in a bid to take their place, forgetting how they were favored to get there. We can glaringly see these examples around us, if we tend to look. Vivid examples are Deputy Governor - Governor crisis all the time, with the recent example of Ondo State Late Governor, Akeredolu and his deputy, Aiyedatiwa. This case is the most disheartening of all, especially if you're resident in the state. There are others like Obaseki and Philip Shaibu, Akeredolu and Agboola Ajayi, Mimiko and Ali Olanusi, Rotimi Amaechi and Tele Ikuru, etc.
All these deputies wanted to become the governor, while their principal is still very much alive, or intending to run for a second term. It is pertinent to note that these governors picked the deputies, out of the numerous options they had.


These betrayals happen all the time, not only in politics, but across all sectors and fields of life.
Let us take a look at our history. In the mid-ninth century A.D., a young emperor named Michael III of
Byzantine Empire, who made his friend from the stable, basilius, his adviser. Basilius was so engrossed in power that he trickily rose up to become the head of the army. Basilius later had his friend and benefactor's head on a long spike, and declared himself the emperor.


We also know of several coup d'etat in Nigeria, lower ranked officers ousting their commanders, with the bloodiest being the coup of January 1966, led by Kaduna Nzeogwu. This coup is tagged as Igbo coup In history, which also led to the July 1966 Counter coup, also known as the Northern Coup.


Enough of the histories. There's another important thing we must note.
Employing friends over competency is not a good decision.
It is natural to want to employ your friends when
you find yourself in times of need. The world is a
harsh place, and your friends soften the
harshness. Besides, you know them(or believe you know them) Why
depend on a stranger when you have a friend
at hand?

The problem is that you often do not know
your friends as weIl as you imagine. Friends often
agree on things in order to avoid an argument.
They cover up their unpleasant qualities so as
to not offend each other.They laugh extra hard
at eac other's jokes. Since honesty rarely
strengthen friendship, you may never know
how a friend truly feels. Friends will say that
they love your poetry, adore your music, envy
your taste in clothes-maybe they mean it, oftentimes, they do not.


While your friend is clearly incompetent to handle the role you give them, they more often than not, do not improve themselves to become better. They believe they have a sort of assurance cover them, and you won't lay them off, as they are your "good friend".

I do not need to tell you the calamities that will befall that business. It is left for you to find out.
But on the flip side, if you turn your enemies into friends, they have an eternal obligation to themselves to make sure you do not perceive them as enemies anymore, but one you can trust. This gets easier and fun, if you had the opportunity to terminate or do something bad to these enemies, but decided to let them live. They'll go to extreme ends to make sure you do not have to doubt them.


Ever wondered why the Bible said we should pray for our enemies, and not kill them?
The Bible said by so doing, we are heaping coals of fire on their head.
They are caged in this dark psychology for life and if you're smart, this is your greatest asset.
Friends do not always have a reason to stay forever loyal to you. They believe they've done enough for you, and most often than not, switch allegiance to what suits them.

You see the difference?

Let me give you a bit of history.

For several centuries after the fall of the Han Dynasty (A.D. 222), Chinese history was marked by violent and bloody coups, in which one general would replace another as emperor. These new emperors would kill their rivals and establish new dynasties, but the cycle of bloodshed and instability would eventually repeat itself. New generals would rise up, assassinate the current emperor, and establish their own regimes. This pattern of violence and instability continued for centuries, making it a dark and turbulent time in Chinese history.

In A.D. 959, General Chao K'uang-yin
became Emperor Sung. He knew the odds, he might soon be murdered.
Soon after becoming emperor, Sung ordered a
banquet to celebrate the new dynasty, and invited
the most powerful commanders in the army, those who are most likely to overthrow him.
Now, after they were all drunk to stupor, he dismissed the guards and everyone in the hall, left with only him and the generals. The generals thought he was going to kill them all. Instead, he offered them a proposition: Resign from the army, and i will give you all riches, houses and a feel of rule.

The generals were astonished, because here's a man who could have killed them easily, but gave them another chance. The next day, they all turned in their resignation and remained loyal to the one who just gave them their lives. Emperor Sung didn't have to worry about being overthrown for a long time, because he just converted his enemies to friends. Over the years, he repeated these similar practises and with that, he was able to break the chain. The Sung dynasty ruled for more than three hundred years.

These examples are all around us too, if we look closely. As a matter of fact, you can decide to perform this experiment.
Have a talk with your public enemy, make them see why they shouldn't be enemies with you, as you are both fighting same course. Convince them, and watch as they turn to your strongest ally.
But, I need to warn you. It does not always work. You should be smart enough to know if it works or not.
BUT, BE CAREFUL!

Do not turn your friends into enemies.
Some friends genuinely wish the best for you, and will always go to any length to prove their loyalty as a friend. If you turn your friend to an enemy, then, you are on the steep pathway to self destruction. No one will lift you up, when you fall into a ditch, not even your enemy-turn friend.

This article is long enough for now. Let me put a stop to it. I hope later on, I'll be able to build on it.
But before I go, let me bullet the points again
• Strive to make more enemies than friends
• Employ Competence over Friendship
• Learn to turn your enemies into friends
• Never turn a friend into an enemy.

These might seem confusing. I'll implore you to read slowly, and re-read.
Thank you for your time

Adeoye Peter (Sapele)
©2024