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"How My Mom Was Forced Into An Arranged Marriage" - Family - Nairaland

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"How My Mom Was Forced Into An Arranged Marriage" by Dharmieey: 9:55am On Mar 20
TRUE LIFE STORY πŸ˜­πŸ’”

HOW MY MOM WAS FORCED INTO HER MARRIAGE

My mom was born in 1977. She lost her father when she was two so she moved to Port Harcourt with her mom and her step father (who was a soldier).
They came to my father's hometown when she was thirteen, and this is how the problem started πŸ˜” my dad's father and my mom's stepfather were friends and my dad's father saw my mom the day her step father sent her to deliver something to my daddy's father😟 my mom was soo beautiful, curvy and we'll mannered, infact she was the senior girl in her school as at that time πŸ˜₯
And ever since my dad's father set her eyes on my mom he has been saying that "haaa I must marry you to one of my sons oo" my mom thought he was joking though πŸ˜”
Without my mom and her mother's awareness, my dad's father and my mom's step dad has concluded but truth to be told my dad's father never told my mom's step dad that my dad was never married nor had a child πŸ˜”
My mom's step dad told my mom about her marrying his friend's son but my mom said no! But my mom said there was this day her step father sent her to my dad's father again.... that the only thing she noticed that day was that my dad's father handed over a bottle of coke to her (only God knows if the coke was jazzed) and my mom said after drinking the coke she started loving my dad even before seeing himπŸ˜”

So my dad came from osogbo to see my mom, her step father and her mom for the first time, my dad lied to my mom and her family that he is a car dealerπŸ˜” my mom's mother was happy because who doesn't want the best for her daughter πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈπŸ˜” my dad left and he do come every weekend to see my momπŸ˜” finally after some months, my mom got pregnant (that was me). So one day, one of my dad brother's wife came to my mom's house and told her and her mother that my dad and his father were lying that he's just a security guard and infact he already had a girl child πŸ˜―πŸ’” Haaaa! And my mom is pregnant already πŸ˜―πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜₯
So the woman gave my mom the address where my dad was working and my mom went there infact she met my dad where he was about to open the gate for his bossπŸ˜”

My mom came back home, she was embarrassed, broken and felt betrayed πŸ’”he later came to beg my mom and told her the truth but it was too late for my mom to say she's no more doing because she's already pregnant and she was scared of abortion πŸ˜”πŸ’”

Fast forward to after nine months, my mom gave birth to me after three days in labour πŸ˜” and this was another evidence that shows that my mom was jazzed because she said after she gave birth, and when she saw my dad she said she was crying that "this old man can't be my husband" (my mom was 26 then and my dad was 47 then)πŸ˜” so her mom begged her and explained to her that that is her husband πŸ˜” she almost committed s**cide, because my mom was soo popular and she has alot of toasters that she do play on their feelings πŸ˜”

After she gave birth things got worse πŸ˜” and then my dad has relocated to his home town here doing his security job again....my man that owns where my dad was securing gave them a store and that was where they were sleeping with a month old baby πŸ’”πŸ˜”(me) my mom said whenever it's raining, she will carry me and she will have to stand throughout the whole night.

Later my mom and her mother prayed and fasted and finally my dad got a job as a university security officer in 2007 ( I was already three years old as at that time) and it was this same year that my mom lost her mother who died of breast cancer πŸ’”πŸ˜”

This woman was the one carrying almost all me and my mom's responsibilities πŸ’”πŸ˜”πŸ˜© my mom was broken πŸ’”πŸ’”πŸ’”πŸ’”
Finally my dad got a single room apartment and few months later they both had an issue and my mom left the house (she left me with my dad) after my dad begged my mom's family, my mom came back to the house πŸ˜”

My mom did this again when I was eight (she had my younger brother when I was six, and this time around she left me and my younger brother to our dad)

I was the one taking care of my younger brother (imagine a eight years old boy taking care of his two years old brother)πŸ˜” later my dad begged again and my mom came back after spending seven months where she wentπŸ˜” my mom also left the house again with my younger brother when I was tenπŸ˜” I was in primary five then, but she came to pick me up after I wrote my common entrance examination and we left for akure. We spent almost a year in akure but upon still my dad begged again and we all came back πŸ˜”πŸ’”

Again my mom left the house when I was fourteen but this time around she rented an apartment in our townπŸ˜” we were staying with our dad (me and my younger brother) and my mom do secretly come to our school every morning to give us food and moneyπŸ˜”πŸ₯Ί After some months it was only God that knows how my dad found out about my mom's house, he just showed up at her house one day and they concluded that we will be spending weekends with our momπŸ˜” and my dad used this opportunity to threatening us that we should be crying and begging my mom that if she did not come back to the house he is going to take us (me and my younger brother) to ghana and she's never going to see us again πŸ˜”πŸ’” they advised my mom that she should hire a lawyer and go for divorce (meanwhile they were never married oo even till now my dad has not pay my mom's bride price) she hired a lawyer and they lawyer took the divorce papers to my dad but me teared it up that he's not divorcing his wife.

Later my dad stopped us from going to my mom's house πŸ˜” he collected my phone then and we stopped reaching out to my momπŸ˜” All this affected me mentally, physically, emotionally, educationally even sociallyπŸ˜₯

Finally my mom begged my dad and came back to the house πŸ˜” and thing has become more worse since thenπŸ˜” you won't believe that my dad has never been to my mom's family house up till now....you won't believe that my dad is not allowing to my mom to go to her family doingsπŸ˜” but my mom is always the first that do appear at my dad's family doings and she will work for them infact she do sleep there sometimes πŸ˜”

It was since 2007 my mom saw my dad's salary last and up till now we did not know how much my dad is earning can you imagine πŸ˜” my mom is the one feeding us, she's the one buying things in the house (including toothpaste and detergents)πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈ whenever my dad brings foodstuffs into the house, he will tell my mom that she will be the one to be providing the soupsπŸ˜”

November 22, 2020. My dad looked into my eyes and cursed me that I will never be successful πŸ˜₯πŸ’” just because he sent me peakmilk and I bought bournvita meanwhile he was the one that didn't know the name and he should I should buy bournvita πŸ˜” he said I should return it, I got back and he said I frowned and I was saying something when I was going to return the bournvita....he looked into my eyes that very day and beat his chest three times and said "you will never be successful call me bastard"πŸ˜” I cried, I was mentally frustrated for months (even till now) because of that statement he said 😟.

After my SSCE he took me to a filling station and I worked there for four months, he collected my salaries and I used part of it to register for my jamb examination πŸ˜” I had issues when I was in the polytechnic (when I was doing my ND) because I didn't get the necessary things at the right time πŸ˜” my dad do send me money thrice in a semester πŸ˜” and the least is always 10k.
I finished my national diploma last year and you won't believe that my dad did not gave me any money to buy handouts πŸ˜” I bought four out of twelve with my money and due to this I had ulcerπŸ’”

Things are getting worse everyday πŸ˜” my mom is tired of my dad but she's afraid to leave because she don't want to come back again this time around πŸ˜₯
They had a fight around January, and my dad said to me that the only thing she gained from my mom was us (me and my younger brother)πŸ˜” throughout last year my mom was home (she started a food business but everything run down)πŸ’” she was home and she was feeding herself....I was in school then, my mom said sometimes if she did not have anything to eat that my dad my be showing her money saying "see just be sleeping there oo, I have money but I won't give you! Don't you know what your mates her doing" my mom said he will say this and he will leave this house and he won't show up in three days sometimes πŸ˜”

Finally my mom got a job at a canteen around January, she was helping them with the cooking and cleaning πŸ˜” but something happened around February last month πŸ˜₯ she was about to enter into her bosses car and the woman mistakingly drove on my mom's legπŸ˜”πŸ’” up till now we're nursing the legπŸ˜” she did an x-ray the doctors saw nothing but she's always shouting of pains now they directed her to go to ilorin for another scanning but we don't have money πŸ˜”πŸ’” PLEASE HELP US😭🀲🏻 I was planning to move to ibadan πŸ˜” but I've given my mom all the money I was saving for my relocation πŸ˜” and now we're left with nothing πŸ˜₯😟 the leg is getting worse everyday and you won't believe that my dad didn't give my mom a dime to buy drug or anything πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈπŸ˜” even whenever I'm helping her to apply antibiotics on it, when my mom is crying he will do as if he's not hearing anything πŸ˜₯

Something happened two days ago, my younger brother's teacher called my dad that he has not been coming to school (and he's always leaving the house in the morning) my dad was furious and when he got home that night he was shouting, cursing and talking to this boy as if he's talking to a fourty years old person πŸ˜” and he said the following morning (that was yesterday) that he's going to my brother's school to disgrace himπŸ˜” yesterday morning, my younger brother left the house wearing school uniform with his bag....after he left, we saw the letter he wrote in a paper he placed on the table πŸ˜” saying that the reason why he's not going to that school again is because people are always bullying him because of his torn school uniform and sandals πŸ˜” I laughed because I personally wore a shoe for three good years when I was in secondary school πŸ˜₯
He stated it in the letter how this man hated us and how he's always cursing usπŸ˜”πŸ˜₯ and lastly he said we should not look for him that he is out of this house πŸ˜ŸπŸ’” (imagine a thirteen years old boy saying all this).

Yesterday morning we searched everywhere (me and my mom) we called this man and he said "so what should I do about it" and cut the callπŸ˜₯😟 so yesterday night when he got back my mom's sister called us and said my brother is with them already 😯 (a thirteen years old boy travelled from oyo state down to osun state)😯
My mom's sister told my mom that my brother is crying that he's not coming back to this house again (we're yet to tell my dad and this)

So Nigerians we need your help on my mom's leg please πŸ™πŸ»πŸ’”πŸ˜₯ and also what should we do

I personally I want my mom to divorce my dadπŸ˜” they were not legally married before so what's the essence of her staying hereπŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈπŸ˜₯ they have been together for our 21years now and my mom has not gained ordinary pin from this manπŸ˜₯πŸ˜”
If my mom and my dad are together you won't know they are couples, my mom will stay in the bedroom and my dad will stay at the sitting room πŸ˜” they only thing they do say to each other everyday is only "good morning" there's no opinions or even plans about the children's lifeπŸ’” my dad has chased all my mom's friends away and the only friends my mom have is me and my younger brother πŸ˜”the only time my dad do smile to my mom is probably when he want to have intercourse with herπŸ˜₯

Please guys we need your help and please what should my mom do?πŸ˜­πŸ’”

We need to act fast before she die in this darkness she has been for over 21years ago😭πŸ˜₯πŸ’”
Re: "How My Mom Was Forced Into An Arranged Marriage" by Dharmieey: 9:55am On Mar 20
Please help usπŸ˜”πŸ™πŸ»πŸ™πŸ»πŸ’”πŸ˜­

1 Like

Re: "How My Mom Was Forced Into An Arranged Marriage" by TINTINABULATION(m): 9:56am On Mar 20
Honestly, i wish i have the patience to read through your post. But whosoever it is, don't give up in prayer.
Re: "How My Mom Was Forced Into An Arranged Marriage" by Oloki: 9:58am On Mar 20
Dharmieey:
Please help usπŸ˜”πŸ™πŸ»πŸ™πŸ»πŸ’”πŸ˜­

With this epistle? Who get stamina to read all that. Is better you summarize. This my dad father and step mom's father is giving me headache
Re: "How My Mom Was Forced Into An Arranged Marriage" by insidelife22(m): 9:59am On Mar 20
Having seen this post,and knowing it is going to hit front page am going back to sleep.

I will comment when it gets to front page.
Re: "How My Mom Was Forced Into An Arranged Marriage" by CoronaVirusPro: 10:03am On Mar 20
Whoever read the novel should please summarize in TWO sentences.
Re: "How My Mom Was Forced Into An Arranged Marriage" by Dharmieey: 10:04am On Mar 20
Soo sorry sir πŸ˜”
My mom was jazzed and forced into her marriage, my dad is maltreating her and now she's planning to leave the marriage πŸ˜₯ but the most serious case now is that she had an accident last month and her leg was injured πŸ˜” she needs medications and now we have nobody to helpπŸ˜”πŸ˜” not even my dadπŸ˜₯πŸ˜”
Oloki:


With this epistle? Who get stamina to read all that. Is better you summarize. This my dad father and step mom's father is giving me headache
Re: "How My Mom Was Forced Into An Arranged Marriage" by Dharmieey: 10:04am On Mar 20
πŸ˜₯πŸ˜₯πŸ’”
My mom was jazzed and forced into her marriage, my dad is maltreating her and now she's planning to leave the marriage πŸ˜₯ but the most serious case now is that she had an accident last month and her leg was injured πŸ˜” she needs medications and now we have nobody to helpπŸ˜”πŸ˜” not even my dadπŸ˜₯πŸ˜”
CoronaVirusPro:
Whoever read the novel should please summarize in TWO sentences.
Re: "How My Mom Was Forced Into An Arranged Marriage" by Dharmieey: 10:05am On Mar 20
Thank you sirπŸ˜”πŸ˜₯
TINTINABULATION:
Honestly, i wish i have the patience to read through your post. But whosoever it is, don't give up in prayer.
Re: "How My Mom Was Forced Into An Arranged Marriage" by superCleanworks(m): 10:09am On Mar 20
You really tried to type out all this.

How long did it take you?
Re: "How My Mom Was Forced Into An Arranged Marriage" by Dharmieey: 10:14am On Mar 20
πŸ˜₯πŸ˜”
superCleanworks:
You really tried to type out all this.

How long did it take you?
Re: "How My Mom Was Forced Into An Arranged Marriage" by Oloki: 10:43am On Mar 20
Dharmieey:
Soo sorry sir πŸ˜”
My mom was jazzed and forced into her marriage, my dad is maltreating her and now she's planning to leave the marriage πŸ˜₯ but the most serious case now is that she had an accident last month and her leg was injured πŸ˜” she needs medications and now we have nobody to helpπŸ˜”πŸ˜” not even my dadπŸ˜₯πŸ˜”

Good summary. I pray help comes your way. Maybe you can post this instead of the long post up there. People will comprehend better and whoever wants to help will help.

1 Like

Re: "How My Mom Was Forced Into An Arranged Marriage" by Dharmieey: 10:50am On Mar 20
Ok thank you soo much sirπŸ₯ΊπŸ˜”πŸ™πŸ»
Oloki:


Good summary. I pray help comes your way. Maybe you can post this instead of the long post up there. People will comprehend better and whoever wants to help will help.
Re: "How My Mom Was Forced Into An Arranged Marriage" by Jozilinn: 12:23pm On Mar 20
Exactly something similar happened to my cousin sis, now the man is coming back to beg claiming he has changed and everything, his family refused to even call her, all because she has female kids for him, she was the one taking care of feeding, and all round expenses for the kids. I don't know why people would just start and say things like come e go better forgetting that this man told her that he would kill her numerous times.

She became mentally, physically and socially deranged to the extent she would start talking to herself, he doesn't even believe she can become successful, just because his family members did it and it didn't work for them. If you see how happy she's now even though she has lost her youthfulness at least she's better off without him.
Just like your mum it was an arranged marriage, she refused to get married and it was said that she would get to go to school and continue her handwork hmm lies, the man was looking for a baby factory and a slave to his family. Stopped her from communicating with her siblings ha, my cousin will never go back there those elders can go to hell... When it gets rough they will deny you when you die they will start coming out to cry and fight rubbish. I pray God help your mother it was better she raised you guys alone then with him now see as you guys are suffering over what you know nothing about.

1 Like

Re: "How My Mom Was Forced Into An Arranged Marriage" by Dharmieey: 12:35pm On Mar 20
HmmπŸ˜”πŸ’”
Jozilinn:
Exactly something similar happened to my cousin sis, now the man is coming back to beg claiming he has changed and everything, his family refused to even call her, all because she has female kids for him, she was the one taking care of feeding, and all round expenses for the kids. I don't know why people would just start and say things like come e go better forgetting that this man told her that he would kill her numerous times.

She became mentally, physically and socially deranged to the extent she would start talking to herself, he doesn't even believe she can become successful, just because his family members did it and it didn't work for them. If you see how happy she's now even though she has lost her youthfulness at least she's better off without him.
Just like your mum it was an arranged marriage, she refused to get married and it was said that she would get to go to school and continue her handwork hmm lies, the man was looking for a baby factory and a slave to his family. Stopped her from communicating with her siblings ha, my cousin will never go back there those elders can go to hell... When it gets rough they will deny you when you die they will start coming out to cry and fight rubbish. I pray God help your mother it was better she raised you guys alone then with him now see as you guys are suffering over what you know nothing about.

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