First I want to say my case is quite serious and I need serious answers and suggestions.

   I met this girl when I was in secondary school, my final year to be specific, you know it was a small get together of friends and guys were hooking up with other gurls, I was just there in the corner looking, and there she was looking at me too(with that look. gurls know what I mean) fortunately for her I knew her friend and so we where matched up, I didn't actually liked her but you know, I just wanted to prove to my friends that I was a man too so we got talking and soon we were visiting eachother. Soon I noticed she was always emphasizing that we would have made a good couple if we were together, and she would write me letters and call all the time. To cut the long story short, I was pressured by her and friends to go along with her plans, I lied her but I can't say I love her as I claimed. I travell alot and I haven't been around her for long but she keeps calling and sending emails to me, I thought after three years she would have continued her life and forgotten about me, but when I visited her, this gurl is still madly in love with me! And she sometimes tell me jokingly that my wife is going to be a lucky one but she thanks God that she is the one and nobody is taking me away from her. I HAVE TRIED SEVERAL TIMES TO MAKE IT CLEAR TO HER THAT I DON'T HAVE SOLID PLANS FOR US but she won't see from my point of view. I don't want to break her heart by telling her POINT BLANK! but what do I do? HEEEEEELLLLLPPPPPPPPP!!!

this is interesting. I am no relationship expert but my 2 cents is that u should seat her down and have a talk. be polite, courteous and speak the truth. it is healthy never to start a relationship that's built on peer pressure. I dunno how far u went with her, but it may have been better not to start it at all. from day one, it is important to consider the future. I think it is good to ask oneself,
1. why am I doin this?
2. do I really wanna do this or is it pressure from outside?
3. am I being selfish , just trying to catch some fun and leave?
4. is there the possiblity of a future together
5. am I tampering with another man's possession.
truly love hurts at times. someone may love u and u may not love her back, its only natural. but how do u react to that scenerio. do y'u play along or do u make ur intentions known. this is a personal decision , my two cents.

just tell her the true fact so she can move on and stop wasting time,ie if you relly don't have plans for her,

just as cheekee said, tell her the true fact and let the chic move on with her life remember dont hurt her feelings girls are vunerable so you better be gentle

everybody, I have already tried talking to her like that but before I could even say what was on my mind, she read it all on my face and she just burst into tears, it was painfull to see her like that so I didn't mention it again, so what I need now, is a way to put it to her, SIMPLE, POLITE, UNPAINFULL but FIRM!!

it's obvious your friend is really hurting, love hurts at times i wish her all the best i'll try and think of something good

i feel sawry for her cause i know how it feels like to love someone who ain't got no flavour for you and it hurts sooooo much but i guess she gonn just have to bare with the fact that you ain't feelin on her

Love hurts, so much that u won't even want to date anymore, the cake lies in your hands, make the final decison bro, but remember what you might say to her will affect her for the rest of her life!

OK, I am going to see her this easter and I will just tell her, "gurl, look, can't you just see all the signs? I am not interested OK?" is that cool people?

common give me some real "koko" remember, SIMPLE, POLITE, UNPAINFULL but FIRM!

nah that ain't cool, what i don't understand is how you managed to have a relationship with someone u didn't mean to have one with i mean you must have been showing some feelings the said relationship cant be all in her head, there is no really nice way to break up with anyone i can only say that whenever you see her just let her know u guys cant work give credible reasons. like roses said its ur decision, hurting her is the only way out

In order to tailor my advice to you to your specific needs can you tell me if you have actually shagged her yet?

i think he has, men!
just tell her politely

You should not have allowed this happen in the first place - playing along and trying to prove to ur friends ur manhood and all that stuff, Now u got urself into some really big stuff, her mind is set and its when she says she's tired that the thingie will end, find a better and mild way of doing things, afterall, u r the man!

It hurts to think u decieved this innocent girl and now u wanna dump her, but i'll tell u, the only way u r gonna get out of this is if u explain to her and ask her forgiveness, if u jump the gun and that girl goes naked and asks God to deal with u, bro u cant dodge the result, so just plead with her and end it mildly

whitelexi , Now you are scaring me, I wouldn't like a curse, and thats why I have come here for something from you guys, abi make I put him phone number here, so that everybody can help me beg her?

and to what Nike4luv and VOR said, well, I haven't "shagged" her, because I am not that bad, I have a conscience! Nike4luv, I know you have something you want tell me, common VOR you guys know, now tell me

I think the only way out for you is to do what you have been avoiding, that is to tell her point blank that you are not interested in a loving relationship. Hopefully she will then get the message. I suspect she hasn't gotten the message previously because you may well have been giving her small, perhaps unintentional, signals suggesting you are perhaps interested in her. E.G do you reply her e-mails and messages? What about your visits to her? Though you may feel you are just being friendly perhaps she interprets them to mean more.

I have taken on board the fact you have not shagged her. I believe this leaves you and your conscience clear. You cannot be said to have used this girl for your own sexual gratification. There is no easy way of doing it but if you truly want her off your case be a man, grab the bull by the horns and tell her point blank. I would even go as far as to suggest you imply or hint that you have met someone else . Remember, sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.

Good luck.

Tell her POINT BLANK. You say that you don't want to but this is the humane & dignified thing to do. If you were in her place (and my dear you very well may be b/c karma is real), would you want the person leading you on? You don't think that you're leading her on but that is what she'll say when you break up with her. No matter. It is the only thing that can be done. Yes; her heart will break. Nothing can stop that now. Man up; Do what you have to do.

dey said it al

@ t, tel u kini {what}?

You would have saved yourself all the wahala if you didn't lead her on in the first place.Anyway sha if i were in your shoes i'd seat her down,tell how great she is,how i like her as a friend and how i know it would be unfair to hurt her.I'd tell her what i have to say would hurt her but it would be better than to deceive her,and i can't ever forgive myself for that.I'd tell her how much i've worked on my feelings for her so as to love her for real but it aint working[i guess our emotions can't be controlled].I'd tell her it won't be fair to hold on to what isnt going to be and if i do i'd be robbing her of a guy that would love her the way she should be loved and stuff like that.I'd tell her to pleeeaaasse find it in her heart to forgive and it was a tough decision for me to make,but it just won't be fair to decieve her. That is what me i would do if i were a guy and in that situation.However u say it would hurt her so just say it as nicely as u can.

u dont want it no deal

t-flow


u should always be fair in a relationship, please tell her hwo u feel, sit her down and let her know, u don thave to get carried away by trying to come up with some extravagant excuse, treat her the way u would like to be treated, u will feel better abou tit tomorrow, trust me, be a gentleman,