Some of my very best friends lost their moms when they were young and I noticed they really love their step-moms. The step-moms treat them like one of their children and sometimes even give them more respect than their children --- making their own children address one of them in particular as their big brother.

Even here, my [white] roommate loves his step-mom [she's a very nice lady and I've met her]. Please is the "Evil Step-Mom" a myth?

i don't see how it is productive to go through life expecting step-mothers to be evil.

some step -mothers are EVIL

Madam Free abeg can you give me instances? I've never seen one -- in fact a guy just told me that the pretty nice lady he called "mommy" was his step-mom.

[b]well i've seen on and she's really evil, okay one of my friends got a step-mother(this happened when i was 16)
and she came into the family with one child that she had and she dont let her child do anything(she ugly and lazy)
i got to their house and her daughter sitting in the chair chilling with her, while my friend is up in the kitchen
doing all the work.(i know cuz she told me), her and her daughter ate in the living rooom but she couldnt, and her friends werent allowed to be in the living rooom cuz we will make it dirty and plus she once banned me from coming to the house (can you imagine) talkin about am bad influence, noting gets past her, her ugly ass daughter gets everything, my friends dad works for the navy so
he aint home much, to really know whats going on, my friend couldnt talk on the phone past 8:30pm. ma gurl she was a shy person and didnt do much but always take her shiit .(being the person that i am).i told her not to sit there and let her do that to her (i guess thats why i couldnt go to the house nomore), the lady is just controlling , everything about her is just horrible , [/b]

That's very sad. Hope your friend turned out well?

of course now, she got me on her side

Sure. The wicked step-mother thing is no myth. It happens. I just dont feel comfortable talking about it. Or else, i would have told a very sad story.

Thank God I was already in my early 20s when I was blessed with a step mother.
The first time I really met her was when fled home from my husbands house because he had given me one of those usual beatings and had brought women into the house.
The lady was not happy, I had come without money and my father had to buy the baby milk.
She banned my friend comming into the house complained to the family etc. She was so mean. I could not even help myself to food in my fathers house
To cut a long story short after about three days my father stripped me naked outside, threw me on the floor and treid to cut my head with a matchet! My stepmother stood on the balcony and was laughing , "some people are naked".
MY father begged me for forgiveness after that. But can one forgive everything?
I fled back to my husband.
THe biggest mistake I ever made was to tell my husband what happened. He suddenly felt he could do anything since he knew I would not dream of going home again.

@nawah: that's a horrible experience for you to endure. I just wanna hug you right now. How can parents be so cruel to their own

I feel you nawah -- I hope you don't think all men are such brutes? By the way how's it going with your husband now?

african step mothers are evil cuz here, you cant maltreat a child and go scotfree, you'll be arrested but in africa, who cares? no one

@nawah
awwww your dad was so mean to have stripped you naked it must have been so humiliating thank heavens is all in the past now i hope you didnt forgive him

I never really forgave my dad but that does not prevent me doing my duties as a daughter.
It was not only a very humiliating experience but also terrifying.
Most times the men are so madly in love or god knows what that nothing matters anymore?
I also had a stepdaughter, she came to me at around the age of 2 and the best way i can describe it is that she was my daughter. As she grew older her mum told her not to call me mum and all sorts of things and she was so brainwashed, poor girl! I could see the struggle withen her. Anyway the way my ex treated her, I got the impression that she was the wife and I the child. I could not even discipline her because if her dad came home and met her sulking it was a problem. He would yell at me and abuse me and even hit me in front of the kid. As she grew older the problems only increased.
When my ex took another wife, she left, mostly because of this child. She even called me and complained that the child was more like the wife than she The first time Isaw my daughter about three years after i divorced my husband, she was all in tears, she told me I was the only mother she had ever had, and she regretted being so mean.
I guess not only the stepmother but also the kids and the dad ,should work at the relationship. It makes things alot easier.

awwww girl, you seem to be suffering sooo damn much, you need to teach these men in your life a good lesson

I had a wonderful stepmother. She was my father's first wife and my mum was the second (we all lived together). Inspite of the fact that she and my mum didn't have a very good relationship, she never treated us badly. In fact, she was so close to my elder sister that everyone called her "Mama Tokunbo" (Tokunbo's mother) even though my sister Tokunbo is my mother's child and not hers. She died a few years ago but i still remember her fondly. She was a great woman.

See what I'm talking about? So what exactly causes the "Evil StepMother"?

jealousy? insecurity?

True. Sometimes the lady is unable to give birth and is very harsh towards children in general.

When a mother dies she becomes something like a saint.
new wife is always in her shadow because people keep telling her how wife nr one was.

What I still wonder is why a woman has to go to such lengths just because of jealousy. I'm sure not all women-folk are like this

let us not generalize here ohhhhhhhhhh, some can be wicked and some can be nice, I have witnesed the two b4. but after all everything nomatter wat, "NO MATTER HOW GOOD YOU ARE TO YOUR STEPCHILD, ONE DAY HE/SHE WILL LET YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT HIS/HER PARENT"

Hotstepper:

let us not generalize here ohhhhhhhhhh, some can be wicked and some can be nice, I have witnesed the two before. but after all everything nomatter what, "NO MATTER HOW GOOD YOU ARE TO YOUR STEPCHILD, ONE DAY HE/SHE WILL LET YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT HIS/HER PARENT"

Of course but when he/she does he'll also let you know whether you've been a friend or not.

"NO MATTER HOW GOOD YOU ARE TO YOUR STEPCHILD, ONE DAY HE/SHE WILL LET YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT HIS/HER PARENT"

I think i can disprove that - i was never nasty in any way to my step mother, in fact we routinely took her side against my father and mother.

It doesn't happen all the time even when they let you know you aren't their parnt, they'll also let you know if they appreciate you or not.

@Consultant, calm down ohhhhhhhh, Itz one of the wise sayings abeg

My stp moms (4 of dm) wre nyc 2 me as an only chld, d 1st wif ws d bst s/mom i eva hd, evn aft dad died she was thr 4 me

Not all step mothers are evil.