A ROMAN MIRACLE
A pretty maid, a protestant, was to a catholic wed
To love all bible truths and tales quite early she’d been bred
It sorely grieved her husband’s heart that she would not comply
And join the mother church of Rome and heretics deny

So day by day he flattered her, but still she saw no good
Would ever come from bowing down to idols made of wood
The mass, the host, the miracles, were made but to deceive
And transubstantiation too she’d never dare believe

He went to see his clergyman and told him his sad tale
My wife is an unbeliever, sir, you can perhaps prevail
For all your Romish miracles my wife has strong aversion
To really work a miracle may lead to her conversion

The priest went with the gentleman; he thought to gain a prize
He said, “I will convert her, sir, and open both her eyes
So when they came into the house the husband loudly cried
“The priest has come to dine with us “his welcome” she replied

And when at last the meal was over, the priest at once began
To teach his hostess all about the sinful state of man
The greatness of our savior’s love which Christians can’t deny
To give himself a sacrifice and for our sins to die

I will return tomorrow, lass, prepare some bread and wine
The sacramental miracle will stop your souls decline
“I’ll bake the bread” the lady said “you may” he did reply
“And when you’ve seen this miracle, convinced you’ll be says i

The priest did come accordingly, the bread and wine did bless
The lady asked, “Sir is it changed?” the priest answered, “yes”
It’s changed from common bread and wine to truly flesh and blood
Begorra, lass, this power of mine has changed it into God

So having blessed the bread and wine, to eat they did prepare
The lady said unto the priest, I warn you to take care
For half an ounce of arsenic was mixed with the butter
But since you have its nature changed, it cannot really matter

The priest was struck real dumb; he looked as pale as death
The bread and wine fell from his hands and he did gasp for breath
Bring me my horse! The priest cried “this house is cursed”
The lady replied, be gone, tis you who shares the curse of Rome

The husband, too, he sat surprised and not a word did he say
At length he spoke “my dear said he, the priest has run away
To gulp such mummery and tripe, I’m not for sure, quite able
I’ll go with you and we’ll renounce this Roman Catholic fable
Author unknown

Where is chukwudi44 to answer this one?

A Protestant and a Catholic sat before God to account.
The Protestant said:
"This Catholic is a heretic, a blasphemer, your religion is a copy of Judaism, worship idols, many of its priests are pedophiles ... deserves to go to hell!

Then said the Catholic;
"The Protestant is a heretic, a blasphemer. Pastors rob the people by collect a tithe is not biblical, you did not order, copied from witchcraft ceremonies to raise money, deserves to go to hell!

God then took a deep breath and said:
"Look that both a man going down that hill?
Follow him ...
He is an Islamist, and like you will go to live with Satan for all eternity."

Then, the Protestant and Catholic, crying started praying ...
The two were declared virgin, had never drunk a drop of alcohol, had never seen a naked girl ...

God kept unchanged, and with his gaze to the floor, barely whispered ...
"just for that ... for fools!"