Dear Nairalanders,
I have an alcoholic brother and his situation is driving everybody crazy in the family. We have all prayed, fasted and try morally to support him.
He ventured into politics at his tender age and he was president of so many association while in tertiary institution. Upon graduation in 2002
he went into full time civil politics, He started with councilor of our ward but he was dropped for another candidate, after four years he was
appointed in a transition committe where he served as a supervisory councilor in 2007.

During his tenure he performed well, but the elders of the party did not nominate him for another term in office due to his exessive drinking habit.
He became frustrated and the matter gone from good to worst.

I asked him to join me in Lagos in 2011 which he did but when his problem was too much for me to handle cos he was always quarelling with my wife after
too much "sepe".
I let him go back to his base, after some time we took him to General hospital that can treat his situation where he was for three weeks after that we
brought him back to Lagos.

My sister He is staying with can no longer tolerate him due to his drinking habit ! I cant bring him to my place because right now i work outside Lagos i
cant live him home to socialise cos he was once like a Godfather to me and my friends, so i think he cant change if he is with me!

How can i help, please I need advise.


Note: He is a graduate with a good result and he is so versed in many areas of life and He is older than me! His wife left him last year to marry another
man cos she thinks he cannot change his ways. He has a four years old son which he thinks he his not responsible to his tranining which add up more
to his stress.

You need to give him something to focus on that he will value so much. Alcohol addiction will in all likelihood put him on the verge of losing it, once he reaches that point. Try and help him realise that he has to leave alcohol not to lose that thing he values so much.

I am sure that if you can push him to that point, you would have achieved something tangible. Maybe, you can put him in charge of a small project but prevent him from controlling its finances and see if he can complete it. This might be a good starting point. Maybe your sister can take care of your nephew or you can let his mother have him if she can.

maclatunji: You need to give him something to focus on that he will value so much. Alcohol addiction will in all likelihood put him on the verge of losing it, once he reaches that point. Try and help him realise that he has to leave alcohol not to lose that thing he values so much.

I am sure that if you can push him to that point, you would have achieved something tangible. Maybe, you can put him in charge of a small project but prevent him from controlling its finances and see if he can complete it. This might be a good starting point. Maybe your sister can take care of your nephew or you can let his mother have him if she can.

maclatunji: You need to give him something to focus on that he will value so much. Alcohol addiction will in all likelihood put him on the verge of losing it, once he reaches that point. Try and help him realise that he has to leave alcohol not to lose that thing he values so much.

I am sure that if you can push him to that point, you would have achieved something tangible. Maybe, you can put him in charge of a small project but prevent him from controlling its finances and see if he can complete it. This might be a good starting point. Maybe your sister can take care of your nephew or you can let his mother have him if she can.

Thanks at maclatunji,
You are always on point. After he left the hospital he look so thin that he needs to recover. The most difficult thing in life is to recommend someone for a job when you are not too sure of what he may do tomorrow.

We are only trying to help him, so many are dead today but when there is life there is hope. I am tried of preaching to him.

You said something he will value, please like what? if you give my brother 50 naira, thats is enough to do the damage for the day. His situation has gone to that level, he is going straight to ogogoro joint. I dont want any pity for him but a way out!

^I am not always quick to recommend this, but he probably needs a strong woman in his life who will love him and whom he will truly love. If he realises that she will leave him because of his drinking, he may be willing to make a genuine effort to leave alcohol.

The next question is where to get such a woman from, abi? Well, I don't know. You need to get him a psychologist as well to work on him.

Maybe she will be a very nice and sweet spinster who might be interested in him. We can always hope now, can't we?

OtunbaGm:

Thanks at maclatunji,
You are always on point. After he left the hospital he look so thin that he needs to recover. The most difficult thing in life is to recommend someone for a job when you are not too sure of what he may do tomorrow.

We are only trying to help him, so many are dead today but when there is life there is hope. I am tried of preaching to him.

You said something he will value, please like what? if you give my brother 50 naira, thats is enough to do the damage for the day. His situation has gone to that level, he is going straight to ogogoro joint. I dont want any pity for him but a way out!

I honestly don't see what a man can possibly value more than his wife and son; if your brother's wife and son couldn't keep him from the bottle, then there is no type of "project" that can accomplish this miracle. What your brother has is a physical addiction to alcohol. His drinking problem appears to be beyond attempts to inspire behavioral changes. He needs medical help from a psychiatrist who can not only help with the alcoholism but also help with underlying psychological conditions like depression or bipolar disorder. Go research substance addiction centers in and around Lagos that might be able to help or point you in the right direction. I am not a medical doctor but I know that alcoholism can be treated and managed effectively with a combination of drugs (e.g. Disulfiram) and therapy. Treat this like the serious medical condition that it is; not some behavioral problem that can go away with "advice" and "preaching". The longer you wait, the harsher the damage to his liver and brain.

Pardon me sir but your brother sounds like he is addicted to alcohol.He cannot help himself anymore.It isn't treated in weeks,it sometimes takes a lifetime of saying no,medication and having people you are accountable to.
Has he been placed on thia mine by his doctors?It is very essential he takes this medication to avoid brain damage.You could also talk to his doctor about placing him on d isul firam.It is a medication that is used to treat chronic alcoholism by causing the person to feel literally sick when they taste alcohol.It causes anxiety,restlessness and just a general unwell feeling.Imagine feeling this way each time you take a drink.
The drug doesn't make you stop craving alcohol though so the patient has to want to quit and has to put in some effort as well as have a very supportive unit.There's also aca mp rosate and nal trex one(to reduce craving).They all have to be given under supervision of a doctor cos of underlying health issues he may have from his alcohol use.As it is,he will even have to be monitored to make sure he is compliant with the medication.
He needs major help but the will has to come from inside him.He has to take the first step and realise that he's destroying himself and his family,only then can any treatment be considered cos if not,he will go back.
Is there somewhere he can go to for rehabilitation?Is there a group where alcoholics who have quit support each other?I do not know if it is available in Nigeria but please speak with medical professionals.
I am very sorry for your plight,it isn't easy having a sibling who is an addict.

I was taught that addiction has a root cause,something drove him to find solace in excess alcohol use.It may have been failed ambition,loneliness,disappointment in the way his life turned out,i can't tell but to solve this you cut the root.If his alcohol is taken from him,what will it be replaced with?Love,life,ambition,light..whatever it is he has to find a drive somewhere and a reason to come out of his haze..I am sure there are qualified personnel around to guide him through this difficult phase
Good Luck

deleted..double post

I have just learnt that alchoholism is treated with drugs & medicament like a medical problem. Wow.

Odunnu: I have just learnt that alchoholism is treated with drugs & medicament like a medical problem. Wow.

Yes. There is a difference between alcohol abuse and alcoholism. Alcohol abuse is more common and is often manifested by binge-drinking. Alcoholism is a physical dependency on alcohol that often interferes severely with work and one's personal life. Persons suffering from alcoholism often have little control over their cravings, like a drug addict. Drinking stops being a stress-reliever and becomes a daily medicine for survival. At this point, alcohol withdrawal can be fatal (withdrawal symptoms and effects are often severe enough to kill).

maclatunji: ^I am not always quick to recommend this, but he probably needs a strong woman in his life who will love him and whom he will truly love. If he realises that she will leave him because of his drinking, he may be willing to make a genuine effort to leave alcohol.

The next question is where to get such a woman from, abi? Well, I don't know. You need to get him a psychologist as well to work on him.

Maybe she will be a very nice and sweet spinster who might be interested in him. We can always hope now, can't we?

Bros. . .why would you wanna subject a woman. . .any woman no matter how spinsterishly sweet she is to that kinda life even as a last resort?

If tomorrow she comes here to complain about her alcoholic husband. . .do you know what our wonderful other brothers will ask her. . .they will ask her if he was like that before they got married, she says yes and before she can add. . ."but I did it to help him overcome is alcoholism, ya know me being a sweet spinster and all" they will dismiss, her telling her "it is your cross to bear, you saw him like that yet you married him anyway, gerraoutta here jo. Now to more important matters . . .gentlemen, we need better excuses to to justify a man beating the crap out of his pregnant wife. The old she musta done something to deserve it just doesn't hold water anymore. . .Anybody? Somebody?"

Why naa. . .what did the sweet spinster ever do to you?

@ OP,
You brother needs serious psychological help and rehabilitation. Unfortunately I'm not aware of any Rehab centers in Nigeria. . .I doubt of there are any (I stand to be corrected). What I'd suggest you do is go to one of those teaching hospitals. . .their Psychology department and see what they can recommend. After he us well and has learnt to love himself (coz he obviously doesn't of he is destroying his life) I bet it won't be hard to find a good woman to love him.

Sisi_Kill:

Bros. . .why would you wanna subject a woman. . .any woman no matter how spinsterishly sweet she is to that kinda life even as a last resort?

If tomorrow she comes here to complain about her alcoholic husband. . .do you know what our wonderful other brothers will ask her. . .they will ask her if he was like that before they got married, she says yes and before she can add. . ."but I did it to help him overcome is alcoholism, ya know me being a sweet spinster and all" they will dismiss, her telling her "it is your cross to bear, you saw him like that yet you married him anyway, gerraoutta here jo. Now to more important matters . . .gentlemen, we need better excuses to to justify a man beating the crap out of his pregnant wife. The old she musta done something to deserve it just doesn't hold water anymore. . .Anybody? Somebody?"

Why naa. . .what did the sweet spinster ever do to you?

Well, there are a few points to point out:

1. You would have noticed that I was not particularly keen on giving that advice for reasons you have discussed.

2. I said he needs a STRONG woman. There have been cases where a woman will for God-knows-what-reason take interest in a man whose case seems completely hopeless and change him, so my suggestion is not based on total irrationality.

3. This man is in Nigeria where the treatment for psychological problems is not well- developed. So, we can be forming exposed and enlightened individual all we want but all those things will just be useless within the Nigerian context.

4. People have to learn that for you to bring an individual out from the pit they have dug for themselves be it alcoholism, drug abuse, gangsterism etc. You need to reason with them.
Now, I am a Muslim and Islam totally prohibits alcohol. However, if this guy is a Muslim. It would not be feasible (in most cases) to just ask him to cut alcohol totally from the beginning. It will take first of all reducing the quantity he takes before trying to wean him of by pointing-out the health risks and the harm it is doing to his total well-being and then now add the religious injunctions to it.

5. I have told OP to get psychological help for his brother but being in Nigeria, he needs strong family support and the efforts of a loving woman may be the 'X' factor this guy needs. I am not suggesting that a woman should put herself in an untenable position with any man. However, whether you believe it or not, there are women who are consciously or subconsciously attracted to such men and are willing to help them. If OP is lucky enough to find such for his brother, I don't see any problem in her trying to help him here. Don't think that anybody is hopeless and cannot change.

The fact that I said spinster does not imply that she is desperate- or should I have suggested a married woman for him?

Guys I really appreciate your comments.

Sisi_Kill: @ OP,
You brother needs serious psychological help and rehabilitation. Unfortunately I'm not aware of any Rehab centers in Nigeria. . .I doubt of there are any (I stand to be corrected). What I'd suggest you do is go to one of those[b] teaching hospitals[/b]. . .their Psychology department and see what they can recommend. After he us well and has learnt to love himself (coz he obviously doesn't of he is destroying his life) I bet it won't be hard to find a good woman to love him.

Please I don't know any either. He was on admission for three weeks at a teaching hospital.

SeanBell: Pardon me sir but your brother sounds like he is addicted to alcohol.He cannot help himself anymore.It isn't treated in weeks,it sometimes takes a lifetime of saying no,medication and having people you are accountable to.
Has he been placed on thia mine [/b]by his doctors?It is very essential he takes this medication to avoid brain damage.You could also talk to his doctor about placing him on d isul firam.It is a medication that is used to treat chronic alcoholism by causing the person to feel literally sick when they taste alcohol.It causes anxiety,restlessness and just a general unwell feeling.Imagine feeling this way each time you take a drink.
The drug doesn't make you stop craving alcohol though so the patient has to want to quit and has to put in some effort as well as have a very supportive unit.There's also [b]aca mp rosate and nal trex one(to reduce craving).They all have to be given under supervision of a doctor cos of underlying health issues he may have from his alcohol use.As it is,he will even have to be monitored to make sure he is compliant with the medication.
He needs major help but the will has to come from inside him.He has to take the first step and realise that he's destroying himself and his family,only then can any treatment be considered cos if not,he will go back.
Is there somewhere he can go to for rehabilitation?Is there a group where alcoholics who have quit support each other?I do not know if it is available in Nigeria but please speak with medical professionals.
I am very sorry for your plight,it isn't easy having a sibling who is an addict.

I was taught that addiction has a root cause,something drove him to find solace in excess alcohol use.It may have been failed ambition,loneliness,disappointment in the way his life turned out,i can't tell but to solve this you cut the root.If his alcohol is taken from him,what will it be replaced with?Love,life,ambition,light..whatever it is he has to find a drive somewhere and a reason to come out of his haze..I am sure there are qualified personnel around to guide him through this difficult phase
Good Luck

.
Thanks SeanBell,

I have taken note of those names. It was failed ambition plus disappointment in marriage cos his wife left him and to be honest to you guys, Once a woman gives birth to a son that has all the qualities in you, they will divert the love to the kid.

The woman he was trying to impress is gone and the feelings of not taken full responsibility of his son is making him mad the more. His son is still with the wife's parent cos he is their first grandson and we know going to claim him now will lead to "tribal war"

So I am really confused

maclatunji:

Well, there are a few points to point out:

1. You would have noticed that I was not particularly keen on giving that advice for reasons you have discussed.

2. I said he needs a STRONG woman. There have been cases where a woman will for God-knows-what-reason take interest in a man whose case seems completely hopeless and change him, so my suggestion is not based on total irrationality.

3. This man is in Nigeria where the treatment for psychological problems is not well- developed. So, we can be forming exposed and enlightened individual all we want but all those things will just be useless within the Nigerian context.

4. People have to learn that for you to bring an individual out from the pit they have dug for themselves be it alcoholism, drug abuse, gangsterism etc. You need to reason with them.
Now, I am a Muslim and Islam totally prohibits alcohol. However, if this guy is a Muslim. It would not be feasible (in most cases) to just ask him to cut alcohol totally from the beginning. It will take first of all reducing the quantity he takes before trying to wean him of by pointing-out the health risks and the harm it is doing to his total well-being and then now add the religious injunctions to it.

5. I have told OP to get psychological help for his brother but being in Nigeria, he needs strong family support and the efforts of a loving woman may be the 'X' factor this guy needs. I am not suggesting that a woman should put herself in an untenable position with any man. However, whether you believe it or not, there are women who are consciously or subconsciously attracted to such men and are willing to help them. If OP is lucky enough to find such for his brother, I don't see any problem in her trying to help him here. Don't think that anybody is hopeless and cannot change.

The fact that I said spinster does not imply that she is desperate- or should I have suggested a married woman for him?

I know some women are very powerful but the funny thing is that where will you find such women?

Everybody is tried of his attitude. He is not the fighting type when drunk but He can talk from morning till night. He hardly sleeps at night and he is always thinking about all his failed ambition

There are some powerfu

OtunbaGm:

I know some women are very powerful but the funny thing is that where will you find such women?

Everybody is tried of his attitude. He is not the fighting type when drunk but He can talk from morning till night. He hardly sleeps at night and he is always thinking about all his failed ambition

There are some powerfu

You know what? Pretend as if I did not mention the strong woman angle and work on the other pieces of advice that I and other people have given. The strong woman part will take care of itself in due course.

Some people are just mildly r@tarded. When did a wife become a remedy for alcoholism? What kind of rubbish theory is this? What is the new woman going to bring to the table that the old one didn't? Our country is in trouble oh!

[b][/b]

moremi2008: When did a wife become a remedy for alcoholism? What kind of rubbish theory is this? What is the new woman going to bring to the table that the old one didn't? Our country is in trouble oh!

I agree with the bolded, a woman should "save" or"change" a man with "love, sex and cooking". What happens to her own needs and emotions? It is not important, she can stay miserable as long as he is happy.
Thats not what marriage is for, he is supposed to love himself and his body and then love her more, if he doesnt love himself and his body enough to get help for the damages he is doing to it why put a poor helpless woman in this situation to suffer? Why cant he get help for himself? What is she supposed to do to save him? Pray, fast, pet him, not provoke him (cos if he is provoked he will drink), accept all his faults. Why cant he simply get help?
Poster, There are neuro phsyciatric hospitals in Nigeria, he is not mad but he is addicted which is a mental issue, take him there he will meet a Dr and get the right steps if he is willing to change to take.

debrief08: [b][/b]
I agree with the bolded, a woman should "save" or"change" a man with "love, sex and cooking". What happens to her own needs and emotions? It is not important, she can stay miserable as long as he is happy.
Thats not what marriage is for, he is supposed to love himself and his body and then love her more, if he doesnt love himself and his body enough to get help for the damages he is doing to it why put a poor helpless woman in this situation to suffer? Why cant he get help for himself? What is she supposed to do to save him? Pray, fast, pet him, not provoke him (cos if he is provoked he will drink), accept all his faults. Why cant he simply get help?
Poster, There are neuro phsyciatric hospitals in Nigeria, he is not mad but he is addicted which is a mental issue, take him there he will meet a Dr and get the right steps if he is willing to change to take.

I can assure you that referring OP's brother wholesale to a psychiatric institution in Nigeria will transform him from alcoholic to certified mad man. The psychiatric practice in Nigeria is crude an archaic (sorry doctors- you can prove wrong sha). As for your comments about a woman only considering a man that is able to take care of himself starting from his body- well that is in the ideal world. In reality, there are many people especially women who tend to fall-in-love with people with major problems in their life-it is not a black and white thing but many shades of grey.

@OP, I can assure you that your brother's case is not as bad as you think but it will take a lot of work. You say he is a graduate, if alcohol did not prevent him from getting a degree, it shows that he has hope. If he was that bad, he would probably still be on campus by now with some fancy nickname like 'Principal-student.' Don't give up, keep working on him- keep him occupied.

maclatunji:

I can assure you that referring OP's brother wholesale to a psychiatric institution in Nigeria will transform him from alcoholic to certified mad man. The psychiatric practice in Nigeria is crude an archaic (sorry doctors- you can prove wrong sha). As for your comments about a woman only considering a man that is able to take care of himself starting from his body- well that is in the ideal world. In reality, there are many people especially women who tend to fall-in-love with people with major problems in their life-it is not a black and white thing but many shades of grey.

I disgaree, stop assuring things you are not sure off or may have just heard about, I know so many people with drug addiction who have gotten better, you may have heard rumours or stories, that is not a fact. There is a christain hospital in vom and Kano, those 2 I know are very good if you dont want conventional hospitals.
It is not a womans responisblitiy to save him from addiction, dont creat a problem for someones daaughter abeg, let him get well and get a woman

debrief08:
I disgaree, stop assuring things you are not sure off or may have just heard about, I know so many people with drug addiction who have gotten better, you may have heard rumours or stories, that is not a fact. There is a christain hospital in vom and Kano, those 2 I know are very good if you dont want conventional hospitals.
It is not a womans responisblitiy to save him from addiction, dont creat a problem for someones daaughter abeg, let him get well and get a woman

I see where the problem lies- you think I am saying they should foist the OP's brother on a woman? On the contrary, I am saying that he may be lucky to find 'someone's daughter' that is willing to 'help him from himself.' The fact that you cannot do it does not mean there aren't thousands of women who can. It is not about what you would do, it is about what someone else might be willing to do.

Haven't you read or heard of daughters of millionaires that decided to be with paupers even when son's of billionaires wanted them. Afterall, they say 'poverty is a disease.'

All that matters here is that OP understands my point. You can differ on it all you want- it's your choice.

@Op,u ppl shuld look 4 a rehabilitation center 4 ur broda...he need to stay there 4 atleast 1yr,4 a complete rehab..good luck my dear

OtunbaGm: Dear Nairalanders,
I have an alcoholic brother and his situation is driving everybody crazy in the family. We have all prayed, fasted and try morally to support him.
He ventured into politics at his tender age and he was president of so many association while in tertiary institution. Upon graduation in 2002
he went into full time civil politics, He started with councilor of our ward but he was dropped for another candidate, after four years he was
appointed in a transition committe where he served as a supervisory councilor in 2007.

During his tenure he performed well, but the elders of the party did not nominate him for another term in office due to his exessive drinking habit.
He became frustrated and the matter gone from good to worst.

I asked him to join me in Lagos in 2011 which he did but when his problem was too much for me to handle cos he was always quarelling with my wife after
too much "sepe".
I let him go back to his base, after some time we took him to General hospital that can treat his situation where he was for three weeks after that we
brought him back to Lagos.

My sister He is staying with can no longer tolerate him due to his drinking habit ! I cant bring him to my place because right now i work outside Lagos i
cant live him home to socialise cos he was once like a Godfather to me and my friends, so i think he cant change if he is with me!

How can i help, please I need advise.


Note: He is a graduate with a good result and he is so versed in many areas of life and He is older than me! His wife left him last year to marry another
man cos she thinks he cannot change his ways. He has a four years old son which he thinks he his not responsible to his tranining which add up more
to his stress.

Give him some high grade weed to smoke. . . Skunk!!

Then when he is high, chain him to a flag post, keep a crate to beer in front of him and flog him till he hates alcohol.

The only cure for an alcoholic is more alcohol... or Egbo

maclatunji:

I see where the problem lies- you think I am saying they should foist the OP's brother on a woman? On the contrary, I am saying that he may be lucky to find 'someone's daughter' that is willing to 'help him from himself.' The fact that you cannot do it does not mean there aren't thousands of women who can. It is not about what you would do, it is about what someone else might be willing to do.

Haven't you read or heard of daughters of millionaires that decided to be with paupers even when son's of billionaires wanted them. Afterall, they say 'poverty is a disease.'

All that matters here is that OP understands my point. You can differ on it all you want- it's your choice.

And therein lies the problem!!

From the moment I read you second proposing the love of a strong women to solve it all, I knew it would come to this. . .where women will be pitted against each other, making one woman feel inferior in her womanliness because she can't meet this expectation when the truth is it a totally unrealistic expectation (I mean come on, a woman's love magically saving an alcoholic? What Fairy Tale Land are we living in? Do Chirping birds also make breakfast?). One would have to be a glutton for punishment on the masochistic level to take that on.

Please let us not flip the world outside down by making it look like not wanting to be in that hideous position is the wrong thing to do.

Having said that, it is gratifying to know some men think women have superpowers. I've tried to tell people that but they don't believe me. . .so thank you for furthering my cause!!

OP,
How can he take responsibility of his son in his present state?It is not possible and that would endanger the child.It is not even good to expose the child to that sort of lifestyle.
does it mean your brother has not accepted that he is an alcoholic?First step to solving a problem is acceptance,knowing that there is an issue that has to be fixed.No matter what you do,if he doesn't take this step,your efforts may be futile.
Some posters have stated rehab facilities are available in Nigeria,please investigate.The sooner the better.
Pele ooo.

Sisi_Kill:

And therein lies the problem!!

From the moment I read you second proposing the love of a strong women to solve it all, I knew it would come to this. . .where women will be pitted against each other, making one woman feel inferior in her womanliness because she can't meet this expectation when the truth is it a totally unrealistic expectation (I mean come on, a woman's love magically saving an alcoholic? What Fairy Tale Land are we living in? Do Chirping birds also make breakfast?). One would have to be a glutton for punishment on the masochistic level to take that on.

Please let us not flip the world outside down by making it look like not wanting to be in that hideous position is the wrong thing to do.

Having said that, it is gratifying to know some men think women have superpowers. I've tried to tell people that but they don't believe me. . .so thank you for furthering my cause!!

Well, if any woman feels inferior because of my post, she can go for upgrading to improve her status- QED! It is the way the world works- get with the program. I think I am going to take a break from family section, you women's wahala is getting too much for me. (Yeah right!).

Sisi_Kill:

And therein lies the problem!!

From the moment I read you second proposing the love of a strong women to solve it all, I knew it would come to this. . .where women will be pitted against each other, making one woman feel inferior in her womanliness because she can't meet this expectation when the truth is it a totally unrealistic expectation (I mean come on, a woman's love magically saving an alcoholic? What Fairy Tale Land are we living in? [/b]Do Chirping birds also make breakfast?). One would have to be a glutton for punishment on the masochistic level to take that on.

Please let us not flip the world outside down by making it look like not wanting to be in that hideous position is the wrong thing to do.

Having said that, it is gratifying to know some men think women have superpowers. I've tried to tell people that but they don't believe me. . .so thank you for furthering my cause!!

[b]What Fairy Tale Land are we living in? Very good! Who are the firmest believers in fairy tales? Girls and the girls that pose as women.

maclatunji:

Well, if any woman feels inferior because of my post, she can go for upgrading to improve her status- QED! It is the way the world works- get with the program. I think I am going to take a break from family section, you women's wahala is getting too much for me. (Yeah right!).

Awww, don't go!! Whose Fairy tale bubbles will I burst if you do?

Suuuuuure, chuck it up to women's wahala, Yeah we will totally ignore the fact that another man completely disagrees with you. . .Welcome to Fairy Tale Land Errbady!!

I'm not gonna get into a debate over this with you, since it is obvious you are alone in your theory. . . the other men's response to it is all the validation I need.

On a serious note, Please don't leave. . .we may not agree on many things but I do enjoy you so!!

Sisi_Kill:

Awww, don't go!! Whose Fairy tale bubbles will I burst if you do?

Suuuuuure, chuck it up to women's wahala, Yeah we will totally ignore the fact that another man completely disagrees with you. . .Welcome to Fairy Tale Land Errbady!!

I'm not gonna get into a debate over this with you, since it is obvious you are alone in your theory. . . the other men's response to it is all the validation I need.

On a serious note, Please don't leave. . .we may not agree on many things but I do enjoy you so!!

Yeah, a man named Moremi . You might as well get additional validation from Papa Ajasco whilst you are at it . Take it or leave it, OP is not going to send his brother to a mental institution in Nigeria. After all said and done, he will be more inclined to follow my advice even if I have asked him to let it happen naturally. So, keep on validating.

maclatunji:

Yeah, a man named Moremi . You might as well get additional validation from Papa Ajasco whilst you are at it . Take it or leave it, OP is not going to send his brother to a mental institution in Nigeria. After all said and done, he will be more inclined to follow my advice even if I have asked him to let it happen naturally. So, keep on validating.

Hey, I can take insults to my person but you leave Moremi out of this!!!

He's proven in more ways than one, that he is not blinded by male chauvinism. . .he might have his little quirks (who doesn't) but he doesn't his male ego get in the way of seeing things the way they are. He will call a man out just as he would a woman if they are in the wrong. No petty petty my fellow man even if he is wrong moves for him.

So, OP is more inclined to follow your advice eh? Ooooooh, is someone playing the "Na! Na! Na! My advice is better than yours! Score 1 for me!! Yipeee ki yay Murrasuckas" card? Hmmm, surely this can't be you!! Not Mr. nobody has a monopoly on being right.

Yep, It can't be you!! So I have to ask. . .who are you and what have you done to my real uncle!! Tell me!! Tell me!!!

Anyidentitycrisishoo, I won't worry about OP. . .his response to your find a strong woman to loooooove the alcoholism outta your brother theory tells me he knows better.

its a pity no much great advice for this desperate brother, nairalanders are better at harum-scarum topics.