i seek your opinion
a niece of mine caught her man having affair with a their neighbour in their bedroom
there was a rumour that the neuhbour is giving a financial support to her husband and my neice is planing to move out of her matrimonial home after 2 kids
please kindly advice her your words can save her marriage

SOGBODILE: i seek your opinion
a niece of mine caught her man having affair with a their neighbour in their bedroom
there was a rumour that the neuhbour is giving a financial support to her husband and my neice is planing to move out of her matrimonial home after 2 kids
please kindly advice her your words can save her marriage

she should not leave her husband oo, not after avimg two kids. Abeg its not worth it ojare.




I know they will come n crucify me here again.

SOGBODILE: i seek your opinion
a niece of mine caught her man having affair with a their neighbour in their bedroom
there was a rumour that the neuhbour is giving a financial support to her husband and my neice is planing to move out of her matrimonial home after 2 kids
please kindly advice her your words can save her marriage

I really want to cry over another pathetic story. I hate adultery and cannot ask anybody else to take it. However, as Agiboma will say, divorce in Nigeria is not such a straightforward thing. She should calm down and slowly initiate the process of sorting-out the details. Where will she live? Who will be responsible for the kids? Can she cope without becoming somebody else's mistress herself? I am scared to think that people may actually bring cases like this to me for advice in real life in future. What am I to tell them?

[s]Is there a chance the husband can be thoroughly disciplined such that he will not try such again in the future?[/s] I don't know O.

Wow,i feel 4 that woman. why are some men,so disrespectful to their wife he sleeps wit neighbour hood ashawo....what a low life idiot he can only try it in nigeria.

^What do you mean?Our respected 'happily' married neighbour in Belfast was fvucking the neighborhood tramp.It happens everywhere. . .not right though.

@OP,what was ur sister,husband,other lady reactions when she walked in on them?what are the husbands reaction now?Has he apologised?did he come up with any excuses or reasons(nothing justifies his action) ?

Divorce NOW might be a regret later.Depending on what the husband has said/done since the unfortunate incident,i think she might do well by taking a time out for herself to evaluate her situation.

Some women might forgive a repentant husband,some men would apologise sincerely,some women cant live with such and would file for divorce asap,some men might even ask you to leave themseleves,its all about the 2 individuals concerned.

Let your niece think through and make the decision HERSELF.and i hope she makes the best decision for herself and her kids.

OP, pls provide more information on what happened afterwards as Ifyalways said.
I totally understand that she wants to move out of her home. Right now she can't bear to look him in the face let alone live in the same house. She needs to sort out her thoughts on what her marriage has turned into. The husband is obviously a nutcase, that goes without saying but I would not advise her to divorce him straight away as there are kids involved.
Its hard to rebuild trust after this episode but she has to decide if she can live with that cheating idiot for the rest of her life. I feel for the kids as well and hope they survive this with minimum damage.

taryour:

she should not leave her husband oo, not after avimg two kids. Abeg its not worth it ojare.




I know they will come n crucify me here again.

mY DEAR, nobody will crucify you ooooo, he has cheated and there is nothing that can be done about that, it is either she forgives him or looks for another way to get back at him for cheating on her. Leaving her hubby for only that is not worth it. The neighbour would completely take over her man ( see Angelina Jolie and Brad pitt) for an example.

I agree with everyone. She should stay put and fight for her marriage. If possible they should move out of the environment immediately and work on her man and marriage. God created women with so much shock absorber. The needed strength is available for her to pull through. Not easy though but all will be well @ the end

ronkebp:

mY DEAR, nobody will crucify you ooooo, he has cheated and there is nothing that can be done about that, it is either she forgives him or looks for another way to get back at him for cheating on her. Leaving her hubby for only that is not worth it. The neighbour would completely take over her man ( see Angelina Jolie and Brad pitt) for an example.

dont mind me jare,am just being naughty. U av a point o, angelina jolie n brad pit are indeed a good example.

feminine A: I agree with everyone. She should stay put and fight for her marriage. If possible they should move out of the environment immediately and work on her man and marriage. God created women with so much shock absorber. The needed strength is available for her to pull through. Not easy though but all will be well @ the end

i agree with u dear. ..

@op, d first step is getting d he.ll out of dat environment.

maclatunji:
However, as Agiboma will say, divorce in Nigeria is not such a straightforward thing. She should calm down and slowly initiate the process of sorting-out the details. Where will she live? Who will be responsible for the kids? Can she cope without becoming somebody else's mistress herself?

Ohh my am i that predictable lol, well said Mac took the words out of my mouth.

thank you all for your contribution i am sorry to inform you all that the situation has got a new development the other woman has make a u turn on the issue she is insisting that there has been a plan the marry the husband before the year ends she has even secure a flat some where along ikorodu axis on the premise that she would be providing money for the family
even the husband's family has fed up with interferance in the matter and my niece is still insisting of moving out

SOGBODILE: thank you all for your contribution i am sorry to inform you all that the situation has got a new development the other woman has make a u turn on the issue she is insisting that there has been a plan the marry the husband before the year ends she has even secure a flat some where along ikorodu axis on the premise that she would be providing money for the family
even the husband's family has fed up with interferance in the matter and my niece is still insisting of moving out

No problem sir, just provide her with emotional and other support she may need. She must be traumatized, she needs all the support she can get. Note that she has not done any major thing wrong (from this story if factual). Let her family provide her with support- she needs it. I still feel heartbroken on her behalf. It just makes one angry that people cannot be responsible. Yes, I may be sanctimonious but if people cannot be responsible when they are single, I doubt there is any remedy or hope for them when they get married. It is up to each single person to shine his/her eyes very well before marrying jor.

SOGBODILE: thank you all for your contribution i am sorry to inform you all that the situation has got a new development the other woman has make a u turn on the issue she is insisting that there has been a plan the marry the husband before the year ends she has even secure a flat some where along ikorodu axis on the premise that she would be providing money for the family
even the husband's family has fed up with interferance in the matter and my niece is still insisting of moving out

What is the husband doing about all this? After 2 children with his wife he is ready to throw away their marriage for this neighbour? This is tragic. I don't think the wife should leave her house for his other woman but i'm thinking what choice does she have if her own husband doesn't want her anymore? I suggest the wife take the kids with her and not leave them with the husband because step mothers in Nigeria don't have a good track record. I hope the wife has enough resources and family support during this difficult time.

feminine A: I agree with everyone. She should stay put and fight for her marriage. If possible they should move out of the environment immediately and work on her man and marriage. God created women with so much shock absorber. The needed strength is available for her to pull through. Not easy though but all will be well @ the end

excuse me? is it strong to remain with a cheating husband?
I think, you're stronger when you can make it on your own.
I don't have enough details to say whether the lady should go for divorce or not and I wouldn't like anyone to advise to divorce. It's her decision anyway.
However, I am tired of listening that you're strong when you fight for a cheating, disrespectful husband.

What has the husband said or done?Or he ran away from the house and sent his family to act as his mouthpiece?

Your niece has to confront her husband now and find out his plans.You can equally do that,thats what family are for.Call your BIL and tell him what you've heard;he cheated on ur niece,whats the next thing?If hes NOT repentant and sounds like he wants to move in with the other lady,your family and niece would start early to discuss child support,accomodation etc so u wont be caught unawares.

the husband has been hypnotized right now we need a prayer please pray for us o may u not suffer this kind wahala o

maclatunji:

It is up to each single person to shine his/her eyes very well before marrying jor.

So true

SOGBODILE: the husband has been hypnotized right now we need a prayer please pray for us o may u not suffer this kind wahala o

Bullshit. Hypnotized my foot. The husband is jst a h.or.ny dog. The couple need separation for a while to sort themselves out. I can bet the husband will come and beg his wie when he see's the grass ain't greener.
Meanwhile, i see we are succeeding in changing the minds of the juvenile-divorce your-husband-women. That's good news, divorce shld always be a very last resort. Divorce causes more harm than good in the long run.

PEACE@LAST OUR RESPECTFUL CLERIC IN THE VICINITY HAS COME INTO THE MATTER MY NEICE HAS BEEN PACIFY SHE WAS ADVICE TO STAY WITH HER KIDS SO AS NOT TO MAKE THEM SUFFER THE HUSBAND HAS PLEADED SORRY AND PROMISED NOT TO DO IT AGAIN.AS FOR THE WOMAN SHE IS ON SOBER REFLECTION SHE IS EVEN WEEPING PROFUSELY FOR HER SHAMEFUL ACTS SHE CANT WALK FREELY IN THE COMPOUND THOUGH SHE HAD APOLOGISE TO MY NIECE...THANK U ALL FOR SHARING YOUR OPINION WITH ME WISH YOU ALL HAPPY MARITAL LIVES SAY A LOUD AMEEEEN!!!!

SOGBODILE: PEACE@LAST OUR RESPECTFUL CLERIC IN THE VICINITY HAS COME INTO THE MATTER MY NEICE HAS BEEN PACIFY SHE WAS ADVICE TO STAY WITH HER KIDS SO AS NOT TO MAKE THEM SUFFER THE HUSBAND HAS PLEADED SORRY AND PROMISED NOT TO DO IT AGAIN.AS FOR THE WOMAN SHE IS ON SOBER REFLECTION SHE IS EVEN WEEPING PROFUSELY FOR HER SHAMEFUL ACTS SHE CANT WALK FREELY IN THE COMPOUND THOUGH SHE HAD APOLOGISE TO MY NIECE...THANK U ALL FOR SHARING YOUR OPINION WITH ME WISH YOU ALL HAPPY MARITAL LIVES SAY A LOUD AMEEEEN!!!!

That is very good news as its a positive step in the right direction. I pray it lasts!

SOGBODILE: PEACE@LAST OUR RESPECTFUL CLERIC IN THE VICINITY HAS COME INTO THE MATTER MY NEICE HAS BEEN PACIFY SHE WAS ADVICE TO STAY WITH HER KIDS SO AS NOT TO MAKE THEM SUFFER THE HUSBAND HAS PLEADED SORRY AND PROMISED NOT TO DO IT AGAIN.AS FOR THE WOMAN SHE IS ON SOBER REFLECTION SHE IS EVEN WEEPING PROFUSELY FOR HER SHAMEFUL ACTS SHE CANT WALK FREELY IN THE COMPOUND THOUGH SHE HAD APOLOGISE TO MY NIECE...THANK U ALL FOR SHARING YOUR OPINION WITH ME WISH YOU ALL HAPPY MARITAL LIVES SAY A LOUD AMEEEEN!!!!

Unfortunately, your niece has a big job on her hands. I suspect that her husband and his mistress are just playing to the gallery. Their original intent has been delivered to her (eloping to mistress' place), it is up to her to manage the situation which I must say is lamentable. Why should a wife have to monitor her husband like the CIA monitors a terrorist suspect? Why?

kambili190:

excuse me? is it strong to remain with a cheating husband?
I think, you're stronger when you can make it on your own.
I don't have enough details to say whether the lady should go for divorce or not and I wouldn't like anyone to advise to divorce. It's her decision anyway.
However, I am tired of listening that you're strong when you fight for a cheating, disrespectful husband.

Gbam

SOGBODILE: PEACE@LAST OUR RESPECTFUL CLERIC IN THE VICINITY HAS COME INTO THE MATTER MY NEICE HAS BEEN PACIFY SHE WAS ADVICE TO STAY WITH HER KIDS SO AS NOT TO MAKE THEM SUFFER THE HUSBAND HAS PLEADED SORRY AND PROMISED NOT TO DO IT AGAIN.AS FOR THE WOMAN SHE IS ON SOBER REFLECTION SHE IS EVEN WEEPING PROFUSELY FOR HER SHAMEFUL ACTS SHE CANT WALK FREELY IN THE COMPOUND THOUGH SHE HAD APOLOGISE TO MY NIECE...THANK U ALL FOR SHARING YOUR OPINION WITH ME WISH YOU ALL HAPPY MARITAL LIVES SAY A LOUD AMEEEEN!!!!

What a load of crap! This story sucks & I don't believe a word of it!

Hypnotized husband? Yeah right! He wasn't hypnotized while doing the nasty act on his wife.

The cheating neighbour crying & weeping profusely? Talk another one jor.

@poster, if the lines you just fed us has an iota of truth, then go tell your niece to get herself checked for STDs and any other nasties her cheating husband might have passed on to her.

@Efemena_xy am not asking u to believe it i see u as d kind person who does'nt care about others if u think is not true can u pray u witness such situation in your life? its because u did not experience it so u can say what u like BELEIVE IT OR NOT NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE IN NIGERIA

SOGBODILE: @Efemena_xy am not asking u to believe it i see u as d kind person who does'nt care about others if u think is not true can u pray u witness such situation in your life? its because u did not experience it so u can say what u like BELEIVE IT OR NOT NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE IN NIGERIA

Don't be offended by Efemena, she is just irritated by the whole story. Women hate such stories and we can't blame them, it is not very pleasant.

SOGBODILE: @Efemena_xy am not asking u to believe it i see u as d kind person who does'nt care about others if u think is not true can u pray u witness such situation in your life? its because u did not experience it so u can say what u like BELEIVE IT OR NOT NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE IN NIGERIA

Madame / Oga (whichever you are), spare me the drama jor!

And pray do tell, what makes Nigeria so special when it comes to cheating spouses? What are the so called impossible things that happen in Nigeria?

I said it before & I'll say it again - your one-sided incomplete story smacks of a badly written Nollywood script!

So wifey walks in on hubby doing the nasty on their matrimonial bed, no reaction from hubby. Mistress claims she's to be wifey number 2. Hubby is hypnotized, mistress cries her eyes out.

Now all's settled and they all live "happily ever after"


**sniggers**

Next time watch a bit more Jeremy Kyle or Jerry Springer.

TAKE IT EASY

Efemena_xy:

Madame / Oga (whichever you are), spare me the drama jor!

And pray do tell, what makes Nigeria so special when it comes to cheating spouses? What are the so called impossible things that happen in Nigeria?

I said it before & I'll say it again - your one-sided incomplete story smacks of a badly written Nollywood script!

So wifey walks in on hubby doing the nasty on their matrimonial bed, no reaction from hubby. Mistress claims she's to be wifey number 2. Hubby is hypnotized, mistress cries her eyes out.

Now all's settled and they all live "happily ever after"


**sniggers**

Next time watch a bit more Jeremy Kyle or Jerry Springer.

LOL, what happened? You are like a hungry lioness that has been let loose ready to maul any hapless victim. The story is not far-fetched, it is what can/does happen so hold your fire.

^^ Lol! @ hungry lioness!

I see you my brother. Just airing my opinion jor. Can't stand it when people dump cheap publicity seeking, c0ck 'n bull stories here.