I've known her for years and she really helped me financially in those days. There was a time she invited me over to her place when i had accommodation problem and i lived with her for months. My problems with her are -
1. She's a chronic liar - u hardly see 6 truths out of her 10 words.
2. She easily like a sugar-coated mouth guy. The one that annoyed me most was when my friend was talking to her, u need to see the way she was staring at him with admiration.
3. Arround 8p.m sometime ago, her phone rang, something told me to answer the call which i did(my first time of answering her call). The caller called her name and say hello, i immitated her voice and decided to play along. So, i replied, saying hello. The caller then said - i'm having erekktion and i want u to come to my place right away. I replied - who are u? have we met? The caller then said - what kind of rubbish are u saying?
As i couldn't take it any longer, i cut-off the phone and smashed it. Could u believe that this girl denied knowing the caller? Claiming it was framed. Though i didn't believe. She even swore with bible that night and cried till morning.
However,few months later, she conceived and bore me a child by mistake.
Now, she call me every now and then, crying and begging and begging and cryind that we should settle down.
Nairalanders, What should i make of someone like that?
In contrary, she's brilliant and full of ideas!

arapoa: I've known her for years and she really helped me financially in those days. There was a time she invited me over to her place when i had accommodation problem and i lived with her for months.

that shouldnt be a reason to wife somebody.

1. She's a chronic liar - u hardly see 6 truths out of her 10 words.

how can you ever wife someone dishonest that you couldnt trust?!

3. Arround 8p.m sometime ago, her phone rang, something told me to answer the call which i did(my first time of answering her call). The caller called her name and say hello, i immitated her voice and decided to play along. So, i replied, saying hello. The caller then said - i'm having erection and i want u to come to my place right away. I replied - who are u? have we met? The caller then said - what kind of rubbish are u saying? [As i couldn't take it any longer, i cut-off the phone and smashed it. Could u believe that this girl denied knowing the caller? Claiming it was framed. Though i didn't believe./quote]

that was your cue to RUN from this lady, and forget about her lying self.

[quote]She even swore with bible that night and cried till morning.

Satan's bible yeah? crocodile tears, yeah?

However,few months later, she conceived and bore me a child by mistake.

how can that be possible? having a child BY MISTAKE?! and why were you still with this babe (after all her deceit), to begin with?

Now, she call me every now and then, crying and begging and begging and cryind that we should settle down.
Nairalanders, What should i make of someone like that? In contrary, she's brilliant and full of ideas!

does the fact that she has a baby for you, makes any difference in regard to her LYING/DISHONEST/UNFAITHFUL/UNTRUSTWORTHY self?
what she was as a GF, she will be as a wife.

Thanks MBJ, I was staying with her then and i decided to forgive her shortcomings may be because i didn't have any other accommotion. The next i heard is pregnancy. She had to flee the house for me when i told her to abort it.
Now that she's disturbing me, all her shortcomings keep coming across my mind.

MBJ, i dont get your last paragraph.

Is she wife material? No.

Should you do a DNA test? Yes.

Sorry buddy, that woman isn't wife material at all!!! This is the type of woman that will bring a man friend into your home and claim it's her cousin from the village! Compulsive liars aren't reliable people and trouble follows them wherever they go.

GO FOR A DNA TEST, ode

@OP,where is the child now?Have u been supporting her?

You lived with her when u were down,noticed she were not honest,she left her house for you,she bore a child for you and now this ? She DID not change,so whats new?

If you were able to live with her then why not now?she helped u then what stops you from helping her now become a better person?

Have u sat her down to tell her about her flaws,find out why she feels she needs to lie(whats she hiding,whats her fears,insecurities,fears),encourage her to be open,honest to you and don't judge her past.

Btw,you need to get that DNA test done.

ifyalways: @OP,where is the child now?Have u been supporting her?

You lived with her when u were down,noticed she were not honest,she left her house for you,she bore a child for you and now this ? She DID not change,so whats new?

If you were able to live with her then why not now?she helped u then what stops you from helping her now become a better person?

Have u sat her down to tell her about her flaws,find out why she feels she needs to lie(whats she hiding,whats her fears,insecurities,fears),encourage her to be open,honest to you and don't judge her past.

Btw,you need to get that DNA test done.

Ify, I don't think you have ever met a compulsive liar! It does't suddenly develop from "fear" or "insecurity." It's often manifests in childhood and it's very hard (if not impossible) for compulsive liars to stop lying about the simplest things. It's extremely hard to build a stable relationship with a compulsive liar because you never really know the truth and the marriage becomes a bedrock of distrust and chaos. Now combine compulsive lying with infidelity and you have a lethal and highly combustible combination. I would caution the OP to thread very carefully.

@op if you really love the gurl and not just staying with her becos of what she did for you in the past, and for the fact that she already has your child, i think you must go ahead and settle down with her, atleast it would be fair thing for your child. After all you know that saying: the devil you know.... I mean with the kind of terrible gals we have these days there is no guarrante that you would go out there and find a better one. Just try to know the things she lyks most, and spend more tym with her. Note that most women tend to make huge turn arounds in their lyfstyle when they get married, settle down and start having issues.
And hey, confirm that child is yours oo.

ileobatojo: Is she wife material? No.

Should you do a DNA test? Yes.

I've not done a DNA test but everybody including my family and friends confirmed the baby is my "carbon copy". Even a blind man almost said same.
@jenny, u are one of the reasons why i dont post this in a ROMANCE SECTION. I believe their are mature minds here.

ifyalways: @OP,where is the child now?Have u been supporting her?

You lived with her when u were down,noticed she were not honest,she left her house for you,she bore a child for you and now this ? She DID not change,so whats new?

If you were able to live with her then why not now?she helped u then what stops you from helping her now become a better person?

Have u sat her down to tell her about her flaws,find out why she feels she needs to lie(whats she hiding,whats her fears,insecurities,fears),encourage her to be open,honest to you and don't judge her past.

Btw,you need to get that DNA test done.

the child is with her. i did all these u mentioned above when we were staying together and she promised never to return to them. I discovered she hasn't really change a couple of weeks later.

arapoa:
I've not done a DNA test but everybody including my family and friends confirmed the baby is my "carbon copy". Even a blind man almost said same.
@jenny, u are one of the reasons why i dont post this in a ROMANCE SECTION. I believe their are mature minds here.

Ode carbon copy ko, carbon scan ni. Go and do a DNA test and stop listening to people. efulefu

arapoa:
I've not done a DNA test but everybody including my family and friends confirmed the baby is my "carbon copy". Even a blind man almost said same.
@jenny, u are one of the reasons why i dont post this in a ROMANCE SECTION. I believe their are mature minds here.

Well then congratulations? Like I said, she doesn't appear to be wife material from your description however you have strung her along for years, used her financially and s.exually and irresponsibly gotten her pregnant. You might even still be in a relationship with her currently. Now it's time to marry and she's not good enough anymore. As you're convinced the child is 'yours', you should give it a good chance. Tell her straight up all your concerns and give her time to make adjustments. As you didn't leave her when you should have, the pressure is appropriately now on you to 'do the right thing' by her and your child.

Ultimately, a DNA test is the only sure way to confirm. That might give you the way out you're looking for.

blogger1.0:
@op if you really love the gurl and not just staying with her becos of what she did for you in the past, and for the fact that she already has your child, i think you must go ahead and settle down with her, atleast it would be fair thing for your child. After all you know that saying: the devil you know.... I mean with the kind of terrible gals we have these days there is no guarrante that you would go out there and find a better one. Just try to know the things she lyks most, and spend more tym with her. Note that most women tend to make huge turn arounds in their lyfstyle when they get married, settle down and start having issues.
And hey, confirm that child is yours oo.

i agree with u completely.

That gal is not wife material according to the story u just told. I wnt advice anyone to marry such your future is at stake. However you can help her grow to become a better person. Some people change you know.

I appreciates all the inputs. Thanks all. But i still need more comments. Thanks.

No more comments jor...Go and marry your wife.
Guide her in the right direction.
Kpekus her very well, and she shall not depart from you.

No one can tell u wat to do in this case,ur best bet is to follow ur heart and live with its consequences. Life,marriage and profession is actually an O.Y.O (ON YOUR OWN)matter,but thank God u av the facts and direction to navigate the journey,i.e the information u av about her. So do the right thing and hope to God for the best. But come to think of it,must u marry? cos i for a person cant live with a woman like that even though she has 6 kids for me. Am actually in my own predicament but am wishing u d best. If before marriage u av d slightest doubt about a woman,then dont go into it cos u will see lotta things to worry about once u marry. shikena!

Thanks all. But another thing is - i love the baby. I always dream about him.

chaircover: First things first, you need to establish if you are the father of this baby. The result of that will determine a lot of other things.

Ok, suppose the DNA proves am the real father, what next then?

Problem solved then since u love the baby enjoy ur daddyhood. The gal may change and she may not looks like you want to take the risk so good luck who knows she may turn out to be a great wife.

chaircover:

Let me ask you what you will do if you are NOT the real father

I wouldn't be asking if i know.

andromida: Problem solved then since u love the baby enjoy ur daddyhood. The gal may change and she may not looks like you want to take the risk so good luck who knows she may turn out to be a great wife.

Are u saying that i love the baby is enough reason to marry her?

@OP,what else do u want to hear?

If you think the girl is a cheat and a liar,just help establish her(if she is not already),discuss and plan about the kids future and move on already or marry her and help her become a better person.

@Moremi,you are right about pathological liars but that does not mean the OP's girl might not change.Some women are horrible as singles but change for the better once married.

MBJ seems to have nailed it. Women hardly change, in most cases, they only pretend to have changed!
@op, the ball is in your court. Most of all these nowadays girls possess your babe character.

So lemme see if I have this right. . . women never change, so don't bother wasting your time but men do if you patiently wait on them.

I'm learning a lot about human behavior.

Thanks Nairaland Family Section.

What's all these gals of these dys are liars, bad, bla bla bla. The men nko abeg. Look poster people have told u do DNA test u say pikin look like you, you love the child e.t.c seems you are already convinced the child is yours so wat next? Oh yes the woman you said mistake full her body but na you dey c am only God knows what kind of rship you guys were having before now mayb it wasn't well defined and she was playing the field because she was not sure if you guys will end up together but now the parameters of the relationship has changed.

You know her better. Nobody can assess the situation better than you and there are positives here the child looks like you and you love the child. If want to take care of the kid pls by all means do, from the way you are writing I feel you know the kid is yours but cos of the mother you are not sure what to do. If you cnt marry her assist her in all ways possible and be responsible for your child.

Some women are horrible as singles but change for the better once married.[/quote]

Yeah, so so true. Remember Kendra (and d playboy mansion)!